I am absolutely disgusted by the management company of the cemetery my daughter is buried in. I discovered that they are not only ok with people coming in to play Pokemon Go, but they are actually posting signs, welcoming players, telling them to have fun, and offering a free gift.
Now, I don't give a shit what kind of game you play. I may personally think it is dumb, but if that is what you want to spend time doing, then by all means, have at it. I wouldn't even care if it was just a couple people visiting the cemetery. If you're not hurting anything, then cool. I personally think it's disrespectful to play a game in a cemetery, but a few people is not a big deal.
But thanks to this sign, word of mouth, and an article in the local newspaper, people have been flocking to the cemetery by the dozens to search for Pokemon. Are people being disrespectful or vandalizing graves? Hopefully not, but inviting a bunch of people, most of whom are teenagers who tend to not respect things that are sacred, is just asking for vandalism. It's putting a big neon sign, inviting people in here to "play and have fun" thus the cemetery owners themselves are devaluing the importance of treating it as sacred land, so how does anyone expect these people to have respect?
But more importantly than anything, it has turned the cemetery into a circus. I went yesterday evening to see for myself. Emily and I visited Kayla's grave for at least 15 minutes, and in that time I counted around 50 cars, possibly more, coming and going. At times there were as many as 6 cars driving past us all in a line. As we were driving into the cemetery, it took forever because the lead car kept stopping, no doubt staring at his phone. As we were leaving, it also took a long time because there were a group of kids just standing in the middle of the road, and everyone had to try to get around them on the already narrow streets.
In addition to all of the cars, there were several groups of people on bikes and on foot, walking around, standing by different graves....I am not sure why, I don't now the logistics of the game. But I do know the different poke things show up in spots, so I can only assume when people are standing in one spot, they are trying to catch the thing that they found. Each and every person and car that went by stared at us like we were a road side show, as if we were the weird ones, being at a cemetery to visit a grave.
I was so pissed by the time I left, I was almost in tears. There are some days I go to the cemetery because I am having a hard day, and I just want to sit in peace and quiet, in the only tangible place I can go to feel close to my daughter and cry. How the fuck are you supposed to do that when the traffic going in and out is comparable to a regular city street? A cemetery is not a park, it is not a hang out space. It's not a place to be driving through, or walking through with your friends, talking and laughing. It's feasible that an actual funeral service could be going on, while these idiots are all hanging around. I cannot even imagine being there for her funeral and seeing this going on, or going to her grave in the days and weeks since we lost her, when the pain was the most raw, and being stared at but all these gawkers.
If anyone on this earth should know the importance of a cemetery being respected and honored, it should be people who run a cemetery. Those who are in charge of being there for people in the darkest time, who take on the delicate task of laying your loved one to rest and looking after their final resting place. What is in it for them? What possible reason could they have had to invite all these strangers in to play a damn game? What, getting their name in the paper? Do they think these people are going to come through and think wow, this is a nice cemetery, I think I'll go home and write my will (when I am done playing Pokemon) to declare that this is where I want to be buried.
So clearly they don't give a rats ass about the people who have entrusted them with their loves ones place of rest, they are only using this as an incredibly disrespectful way to drum up more business. I was so pissed, I called them right then and left a voicemail because it was after hours. I was so mad, I might have included a few expletives, but I couldn't help it, I am so upset about this. I posted a link to the news article on my facebook, and several friends and family members commented about how disgusting it was, and also shared it. My MIL called them today, my friend's mom called, my BIL wrote an email, my SIL also wrote to them, and several people left shitty reviews, including myself, on their facebook page and I know several of them called today or went to the office.
I hope they spend this entire week answering calls and dealing with people walking in to yell at them for this. They are already a pretty shitty cemetery, the ONLY reason we chose it is because of how close it is to our house. I hope they spend weeks dealing with the backlash of this wonderful marketing decision. The funeral home warned us that they are shitty to deal with. I can't say I should have listened because I really don't think I could have handled Kayla being buried so far away at the other cemetery, but it just goes to show that they were right. I hope they lose a lot of business over this.
Monday, July 18, 2016
Saturday, July 16, 2016
Camping
Whew, I need to catch up. So we went camping for the first time a few weeks ago, over the 4th of July. We bought our camper when I was pregnant with Em, but until now we have only used it as a glorified hotel room, parked on my dad's property up north. So we finally went to a real campground, and camped....used the bathroom, used the kitchen, had a fire pit, etc. We've yet to tackle the hot water heater, so we haven't used the shower yet, but I would like to, maybe next time.
It's a very small shower, it would work pretty well for giving Em a bath, but it would be a cramped shower. But I would like the option, since going to the community bathhouse may not always be an option if it's pouring rain and I don't want to walk there, or if I am just too tired to go. Plus despite taking a cool shower, the bathhouse gets pretty hot, and I HATE being hot, so having the option to shower in the camper would be nice. Besides, the community shower stalls aren't all that big either, and I'd prefer to not have to shower with my flip flops on.
We arrived Saturday evening, we got a late start because we had to attend my cousin's grad party first. By the time we got all unpacked and got the camper set up, and our nice but annoying next door neighbor stopped yacking my husband's ear off, we headed into town to get groceries. It's only 45 minutes from home, but I figured why shop before hand and have to pack all the groceries when we can just shop in town. We ended up with way more than just groceries....being that it's the first time we're actually using it as a camper, there is still a lot of things we need, and Meijer is like the worst store for that. I don't too often shop at Meijer, so when I do I'm like ooooh, I want that and this and that other thing. For me, just because it's different, Meijer can be more dangerous than Target.
So we finally got back to the camper (with BK, it was too late to try cooking and we were starving) to plop down in our chairs to watch the fireworks. We had the perfect view right from our campsite. Our campsite was good, we had plenty of space, the people around us were fine, our next door neighbors on our other side showed an outdoor kids' movie each night and invited us over. We always declined though because I knew Em wouldn't sit there for the whole thing. On our last night she did go to the end of our camper and watch for a while from our site, but like I assumed, she lost interest and wanted to do something else after a while. We'll be tempted to try to request that site each time, but I think we should just take whatever site they give up and see what else there is that we like. That way we can build up a list of sites we love, so that when one is taken, we have others to choose from.
That night was to be her first night sleeping in a big kid bed. We purposefully left her pack n play at my dad's place. Since she'll be in a big girl bed soon at home, I figured she might as well sleep in the bottom bunk in the camper. We have so much more room now with the pack n play not in the middle of the room, and the bunk beds are ideal for her to sleep in the first time. Most of the bunk shares a wall with the bathroom, so there is only a 3 foot wide opening near the foot to get in, so it's kind of like a cave. I figured if she started out deeper inside the bunk, it would be awfully hard to fall out. We tried the pool noodle trick but being that the opening to the bed is slightly curved, it didn't work so well. Plus, Em had been playing with the noodle for a few weeks at home, so when she realized what it was, she kept trying to get it out and kept screaming mine!
She was also crying and upset about going to bed, apparently she was scared to sleep in this big bed all by herself, which I can understand. So we let her climb in bed with us and watch a movie. Once she fell asleep Ryan carried her to her own bed. She slept in there just fine, but mama didn't sleep so well. I must have gotten up 3 or 4 times during the night to check on her. I wasn't so much worried about her falling out of bed, but I guess I was worried that being in a new bed would make her somehow just up and die. But one of the last times I checked on her, I was a little nervous because she had managed to flop around so she was sleeping more at the foot of the bed, a foot or two away from the opening. So that day when we headed to Target, we shopped for a bed rail. Of course they didn't have them. What the hell Target?!
So that was Sunday, when we got back from Target, we hung out for a bit, waiting for my brother and SIL to come hang with us for the day. We had mentioned to them the day before that it was only a 45 minute drive, and that they should come up just for the day to hang out, and they laughed and said, it's only 30 minutes from our house, we mapped it, but we didn't want to invite ourselves, so we were like come on up. So they got there around 3 or 4. We all got changed and headed for the beach, but Ryan stayed back to get dinner started. The beach was nice, not nearly as crowded as I expected for the 4th of July. The campgrounds was a mad house, but judging by the beach you'd never know it was a holiday weekend. Though it was later in the day. The water was a bit chilly at first but once you got used to it, it was like bath water.
We're spoiled and used to Lake Michigan beaches, where the water is damn near clear and the firm, sand is in massaging ripples in the water. But not every beach can be lake Michigan, so for a non-lake Michigan beach, it was pretty good. Much better than the lake we grew up swimming in at my grandpa's cottage, where your feet sunk into the muck at the bottom, and when you took off your suit at the end of the day you belly was covered in sea weed and other lake nastiness. Though we didn't care, I loved going there. But I will say, the beach at the campground did have one huge advantage over Lake Michigan. Like I said, it was a slight chill when you first stepped in, but within seconds you were used to it and the water temp was great. Unlike Lake Michigan that has three temperatures.....at the highest temp, it's so cold when you first step in you want to die, but after several minutes you can eventually get used to it enough that you can enjoy your swim, or the middle temp, in which it's so cold when you first step in you want to die, but you cannot stay in long because it's so cold your bones are aching. Or, the third temp, where it is so cold, you can't go in or you will die.
Two summers ago when Em was just a baby, I bought her a little floaty with leg holes in it, and it had a little umbrella to keep the sun off her head. I think she was about 4 or 5 months old, and we used it in my inlaws pool. She was so tiny she had to basically just sit cradled in the middle because the leg holes were way too big for her to put her legs in. Now, she can of course sit in it like it was intended, and she is too tall for the umbrella to go over her head :( But she had a ton of fun, we also put her in a life jacket just to be safe, and because it was so darn cute on her. My SIL didn't go in, but my brother came in with us and we played in the water for a while. Then we stopped at the playground on the way back for a few.
When we were in the lake, Em said a few times about pottying, but I can never get a yes or no out of her as to whether she actually has to go. So I said quietly, just go in the lake. Yes, I am that mom, and no I don't care. It's miserable taking a wet kid into a public bathroom, wiggling their suit off and plopping their wet slippery bodies on the toilet, then trying to use toilet paper on a kid who is already wet. Funny story though, last summer when she still wore swim diapers, it was just me and her in my inlaws pool, everyone else had just gotten out, and I was like ewww, the water just turned very warm, she must have just peed (because of course swim diapers do nothing for pee).
So while we were at the playground, she was standing at the bottom of the slide, all of a sudden she stands with her legs apart, and just pees in the sand. Ugh. I told my brother to kick some sand over it and we got the hell out of there. She's like a damn cat, peeing in a sandbox. So we get back to the campsite and dinner was almost ready. We had picked up one of those grill things that just sits over the campfire to cook, but Ryan was nervous about using that to cook for guests, so he just cooked them in the pan (that we had to buy at Meijer the day before because I realized we had no pots and pans) on the stovetop. So we had burgers, potato salad, chips, and salsa. Very good dinner. Not for my diet, but it was yummy.
They stayed long enough to sit by the campfire and we made s'mores, and they left around 9:30. I loved having them there, but I was kind of hoping they would leave soon, because I so desperately needed to go take a shower. When I came back from the shower Ryan and Em were both asleep on our bed. So when he woke up from his catnap, he carried her into her bed and then I went to bed with her. I was nervous about her being too close to the edge, and since we couldn't find a bed rail, I decided to be the rail. That was the worst sleep of my life. I tried not to move much so I wouldn't wake her up, I didn't have a blanket because hers was too small to share, and the bed is hard as a rock and hurt my back. Around 5am I decided she was fine as she had barely moved all night, so I crawled back into our bed.
So the next day, Monday, we didn't do a whole lot. It was kind of a lazy day. We went back to Meijer to see if they had a bed rail, which they did, but once we got back we realized it was a smidge too long for the opening. No biggie, we can use it at home once we convert the crib to a full size bed, but I was annoyed we still wouldn't have a rail for her that night. It didn't fit to use it properly, but it did stay on the bed well enough to form a barrier that I hoped if she hit it during the night, she would roll over the other way. We also needed a grill since Ryan didn't like the fire pit grill thing we bought. In the outdoor/grill aisle we found one we liked, but they didn't have it in stock. But then when we were in the camping aisle they had more grills, and Ryan found the one he originally wanted. Unlike the other one, it had fold out legs, kind of like an ironing board, it could be pulled on wheels once it was folded up, and it was cheaper. Score! So we got that, and we also decided we needed two of those pillow things that have a back and arms. I'm not sure what they're called, but we realized it was hard to watch TV in our bed laying down, and sitting up wasn't comfortable so we got those pillow things. Perfect solution. But between those, the grill, and a million other things we decided we needed for the camper, we had about a $1000 weekend between our 3 day shopping trips. Ugh!
But, at least they are things we won't have to buy again. Eventually we'll have everything we need, and trips there will only require the cost of groceries, which we would need at home anyway. When we got back, we had lunch and then we all hung out in bed, watching a movie, enjoying the air conditioning. I guess you cannot call what we do camping. With a comfy bed, a TV, a DVD player, air, a full kitchen and bathroom....I guess glamping would be a better term. Glamorous camping. But the people next to us had an RV and they had a damn fireplace and their bedroom was actually a bedroom. Ours is just basically a bed with two end tables on either side at one end of the camper, a wall at the foot of our bed where the TV goes, and curtains on each side to separate from the "living room"....but it is nice and gives us enough privacy and space away from the little one, especially for when she is older and wants to bring a friend.
Plus it is way better than the pop out beds on the camper we were originally looking at. Ryan and I both had this irrational fear of some crazy person with a knife, cutting through the screens and killing us in our sleep. I guess we watched too many horror movies about camping as kids. We did look at a camper with a fireplace though, and we were really considering it. I would have really liked it, but aside from our bed, we would have had no other actual beds, just couches that fold out into beds. But it had a decent size living room, with the fireplace and a couch and two recliners. That would have been very nice, because aside from our "couch" we have no real comfy place to sit. I mean the benches at the table are nice, but you can't relax at a table.
But the thing I didn't like about the fireplace one was, we wouldn't really be able to enjoy the living room because we would constantly have a bed folded out in the middle of it. It would be a good option for some empty nesters or couples with no kids, but not for us. But I do love fireplaces. I would LOVE to have one in our house. I might just have to settle for a fake one someday when we finish the basement. Once we got up from a little nap, I took Emily for a walk. We played at the playground for a bit, we walked down to the beach and she splashed around in ankle deeper water for a little while. I was taking pictures when she climbed up on the chair behind me, so I took a picture of the two of us, but I couldn't see it because of the glare from the sun. Later when I was looking at the pics, I discovered that she had this crazy look on her face with her tongue sticking out in the picture. How funny!
Then we left the beach and walked along the path that goes around the lake. The total path is 3.2 miles all around, but we obviously couldn't do that right then. We only walked a little bit and then we headed back and cut through the campground coming back. I was trying to familiarize myself a little more, to figure out how to get everywhere. When we first got there, we were very overwhelmed and lost, but by that first night we got all of the roads figured out and how to get back to our camper. I can't wait to take my bike and the trailer next time and bike around the lake, that will be great exercise. So I can eat all the s'mores!!! I actually am not a huge fan of s'mores. I'd rather eat all the ingredients separately. When we walked back to camp, Ryan was grilling steaks for dinner. I put corn on the cob in the microwave and put beans on the stove top. It all came out great. Once our dinner settled, we made hobo pies. Ryan had bought these things that you stick right in the fire pit, they open up, you put the food in and then cook it right in the fire. You can make pies, pizza, breakfast burritos (dinner burritos too I suppose). It was good. It'll be fun to experiment with different pie fillings and different breads, and recipes.
That night at bedtime we put on Madagascar and we all watched in our bed. Emily was cracking up, she loved it. She fell asleep close to the end, which was perfect timing. The next day we slept in, and then had breakfast. We decided to take one last trip to the beach, and I told Ryan he was coming whether he liked it or not. He wouldn't swim, but I was just happy he came with. He did come walk in the water with us up to his knees, so we just hung out at his depth so it was like he was swimming. For the past two years, I've been so unhappy with how I look in a swimsuit, so I have just been wearing swim shorts and a nursing tank. The tank fits me and it's long enough that I don't have to worry about my tummy popping out. But I figured I had better buy a real suit in case we ever go swimming someplace that insist I wear an actual swim suit instead of a nursing tank (it's so much more flattering though).
So I ordered one online, and I went by measurement sizes, which are often wrong, but I needed to start somewhere. It's hard to order clothes online because I have no hips, so if I go by my hip measurement, they would be way too small everywhere else. And waist size wasn't really an issue because this tankini top is flowy, rather than the style that clings to your belly. So I basically went by chest size....but I think women who have the same size chest as me, are naturally bigger all over. I don't naturally have a huge chest.....it's not small, but I'm not naturally the size I currently am. I'm just fat. If I lost weight, my boobs would shrink and they would be a very manageable size. Not tiny, but not "flop one over your shoulder so you can see you toes" kinda big. So anyway, the suit comes the other day and I try it on. The top is definitely roomy, not at all clingy like bathing suits are supposed to fit (which may be an issue if it floats off of me in the water). But I don't think it is so big that I can't wear it. I have another one coming, I'll keep whichever one looks best on me. But then I held up the bottoms. They were enormous! They looked like the panties Jack Black held up when he was dating Gweneth Paltrow in Shallow Hal! Again, I am smaller on the bottom than I am on top, so I just had to laugh when I saw how big the bottoms are. No offense to ladies who do wear them, after all, I am fat too, I'd just never seen something for me that was that big. I sometimes need a 2X shirt, but I can wear medium to large bottoms. Which kind of sucks, you end up looking like humpty dumpty. But, I am back on track. I lost 3.5 lbs this week, and I think I am ready to get serious again to get this weight off.
So after the beach we headed back and started packing up. We had a lot to do because we were too lazy to do the dinner dishes the night before. The camground people would be moving our camper back to storage the next day, so when I put stuff away I had to find secure places so things wouldn't fall over and break or leak liquids everywhere. So I did all the inside stuff while Ryan packed everything up outside and started closing the camper up. It was so nice to leave there, and be home 45 minutes later. We're used to having a 3.5-4 hour drive after going away for the weekend. I'm definitely excited for the next time we go back. We had a few scares with Emily over the weekend though. We're not used to being someplace where we have to watch her so closely. We're always either at home, in the yard, at someone else's home, or someplace in public where she is holding our hands or in the stroller. So being at our home away from home, it was scary because you want to give her freedom to play, but the road is not far away and there are strangers in every direction just 30 feet away.
So the first scare came the first night when we were unpacking the truck. When I walked away from the camper, to get more stuff from the truck, Ryan and Emily were both outside. I must have heard a neighbor's door shut, because I thought I heard Ryan go inside but as I was walking back, I didn't see Emily anywhere, and I didn't figure she could have gone inside with him so quickly. It takes her forever to walk up those stairs and get in the door. So I threw my armload of stuff down and started running, calling her name....just then she comes toddling out from behind the camper, happy as a clam, with daddy in tow. Whew, talk about a panic.
Then when we were packing up to leave, we were standing outside and Ryan was telling me something about packing up, when I suddenly looked around and there was no Em is sight. I nervously said, where is Em?! Ryan yelled out, Emily! Then I looked down and she was literally standing right by my side. Geeze, we're going to have to put a cat bell on her. She also got way too close for our comfort to the fire pit on several occasions. She knows what hot things are and to stay away, but I was worried if she tripped and fell she could fall in, so I wanted her to give the pit a wide berth. So that is on our list too, something to put around the pit to keep her from getting too close. But we had fun, I think we will really enjoy our home away from home and hopefully we'll be able to make years of great memories for Em.
It's a very small shower, it would work pretty well for giving Em a bath, but it would be a cramped shower. But I would like the option, since going to the community bathhouse may not always be an option if it's pouring rain and I don't want to walk there, or if I am just too tired to go. Plus despite taking a cool shower, the bathhouse gets pretty hot, and I HATE being hot, so having the option to shower in the camper would be nice. Besides, the community shower stalls aren't all that big either, and I'd prefer to not have to shower with my flip flops on.
We arrived Saturday evening, we got a late start because we had to attend my cousin's grad party first. By the time we got all unpacked and got the camper set up, and our nice but annoying next door neighbor stopped yacking my husband's ear off, we headed into town to get groceries. It's only 45 minutes from home, but I figured why shop before hand and have to pack all the groceries when we can just shop in town. We ended up with way more than just groceries....being that it's the first time we're actually using it as a camper, there is still a lot of things we need, and Meijer is like the worst store for that. I don't too often shop at Meijer, so when I do I'm like ooooh, I want that and this and that other thing. For me, just because it's different, Meijer can be more dangerous than Target.
So we finally got back to the camper (with BK, it was too late to try cooking and we were starving) to plop down in our chairs to watch the fireworks. We had the perfect view right from our campsite. Our campsite was good, we had plenty of space, the people around us were fine, our next door neighbors on our other side showed an outdoor kids' movie each night and invited us over. We always declined though because I knew Em wouldn't sit there for the whole thing. On our last night she did go to the end of our camper and watch for a while from our site, but like I assumed, she lost interest and wanted to do something else after a while. We'll be tempted to try to request that site each time, but I think we should just take whatever site they give up and see what else there is that we like. That way we can build up a list of sites we love, so that when one is taken, we have others to choose from.
That night was to be her first night sleeping in a big kid bed. We purposefully left her pack n play at my dad's place. Since she'll be in a big girl bed soon at home, I figured she might as well sleep in the bottom bunk in the camper. We have so much more room now with the pack n play not in the middle of the room, and the bunk beds are ideal for her to sleep in the first time. Most of the bunk shares a wall with the bathroom, so there is only a 3 foot wide opening near the foot to get in, so it's kind of like a cave. I figured if she started out deeper inside the bunk, it would be awfully hard to fall out. We tried the pool noodle trick but being that the opening to the bed is slightly curved, it didn't work so well. Plus, Em had been playing with the noodle for a few weeks at home, so when she realized what it was, she kept trying to get it out and kept screaming mine!
She was also crying and upset about going to bed, apparently she was scared to sleep in this big bed all by herself, which I can understand. So we let her climb in bed with us and watch a movie. Once she fell asleep Ryan carried her to her own bed. She slept in there just fine, but mama didn't sleep so well. I must have gotten up 3 or 4 times during the night to check on her. I wasn't so much worried about her falling out of bed, but I guess I was worried that being in a new bed would make her somehow just up and die. But one of the last times I checked on her, I was a little nervous because she had managed to flop around so she was sleeping more at the foot of the bed, a foot or two away from the opening. So that day when we headed to Target, we shopped for a bed rail. Of course they didn't have them. What the hell Target?!
So that was Sunday, when we got back from Target, we hung out for a bit, waiting for my brother and SIL to come hang with us for the day. We had mentioned to them the day before that it was only a 45 minute drive, and that they should come up just for the day to hang out, and they laughed and said, it's only 30 minutes from our house, we mapped it, but we didn't want to invite ourselves, so we were like come on up. So they got there around 3 or 4. We all got changed and headed for the beach, but Ryan stayed back to get dinner started. The beach was nice, not nearly as crowded as I expected for the 4th of July. The campgrounds was a mad house, but judging by the beach you'd never know it was a holiday weekend. Though it was later in the day. The water was a bit chilly at first but once you got used to it, it was like bath water.
We're spoiled and used to Lake Michigan beaches, where the water is damn near clear and the firm, sand is in massaging ripples in the water. But not every beach can be lake Michigan, so for a non-lake Michigan beach, it was pretty good. Much better than the lake we grew up swimming in at my grandpa's cottage, where your feet sunk into the muck at the bottom, and when you took off your suit at the end of the day you belly was covered in sea weed and other lake nastiness. Though we didn't care, I loved going there. But I will say, the beach at the campground did have one huge advantage over Lake Michigan. Like I said, it was a slight chill when you first stepped in, but within seconds you were used to it and the water temp was great. Unlike Lake Michigan that has three temperatures.....at the highest temp, it's so cold when you first step in you want to die, but after several minutes you can eventually get used to it enough that you can enjoy your swim, or the middle temp, in which it's so cold when you first step in you want to die, but you cannot stay in long because it's so cold your bones are aching. Or, the third temp, where it is so cold, you can't go in or you will die.
Two summers ago when Em was just a baby, I bought her a little floaty with leg holes in it, and it had a little umbrella to keep the sun off her head. I think she was about 4 or 5 months old, and we used it in my inlaws pool. She was so tiny she had to basically just sit cradled in the middle because the leg holes were way too big for her to put her legs in. Now, she can of course sit in it like it was intended, and she is too tall for the umbrella to go over her head :( But she had a ton of fun, we also put her in a life jacket just to be safe, and because it was so darn cute on her. My SIL didn't go in, but my brother came in with us and we played in the water for a while. Then we stopped at the playground on the way back for a few.
When we were in the lake, Em said a few times about pottying, but I can never get a yes or no out of her as to whether she actually has to go. So I said quietly, just go in the lake. Yes, I am that mom, and no I don't care. It's miserable taking a wet kid into a public bathroom, wiggling their suit off and plopping their wet slippery bodies on the toilet, then trying to use toilet paper on a kid who is already wet. Funny story though, last summer when she still wore swim diapers, it was just me and her in my inlaws pool, everyone else had just gotten out, and I was like ewww, the water just turned very warm, she must have just peed (because of course swim diapers do nothing for pee).
So while we were at the playground, she was standing at the bottom of the slide, all of a sudden she stands with her legs apart, and just pees in the sand. Ugh. I told my brother to kick some sand over it and we got the hell out of there. She's like a damn cat, peeing in a sandbox. So we get back to the campsite and dinner was almost ready. We had picked up one of those grill things that just sits over the campfire to cook, but Ryan was nervous about using that to cook for guests, so he just cooked them in the pan (that we had to buy at Meijer the day before because I realized we had no pots and pans) on the stovetop. So we had burgers, potato salad, chips, and salsa. Very good dinner. Not for my diet, but it was yummy.
They stayed long enough to sit by the campfire and we made s'mores, and they left around 9:30. I loved having them there, but I was kind of hoping they would leave soon, because I so desperately needed to go take a shower. When I came back from the shower Ryan and Em were both asleep on our bed. So when he woke up from his catnap, he carried her into her bed and then I went to bed with her. I was nervous about her being too close to the edge, and since we couldn't find a bed rail, I decided to be the rail. That was the worst sleep of my life. I tried not to move much so I wouldn't wake her up, I didn't have a blanket because hers was too small to share, and the bed is hard as a rock and hurt my back. Around 5am I decided she was fine as she had barely moved all night, so I crawled back into our bed.
So the next day, Monday, we didn't do a whole lot. It was kind of a lazy day. We went back to Meijer to see if they had a bed rail, which they did, but once we got back we realized it was a smidge too long for the opening. No biggie, we can use it at home once we convert the crib to a full size bed, but I was annoyed we still wouldn't have a rail for her that night. It didn't fit to use it properly, but it did stay on the bed well enough to form a barrier that I hoped if she hit it during the night, she would roll over the other way. We also needed a grill since Ryan didn't like the fire pit grill thing we bought. In the outdoor/grill aisle we found one we liked, but they didn't have it in stock. But then when we were in the camping aisle they had more grills, and Ryan found the one he originally wanted. Unlike the other one, it had fold out legs, kind of like an ironing board, it could be pulled on wheels once it was folded up, and it was cheaper. Score! So we got that, and we also decided we needed two of those pillow things that have a back and arms. I'm not sure what they're called, but we realized it was hard to watch TV in our bed laying down, and sitting up wasn't comfortable so we got those pillow things. Perfect solution. But between those, the grill, and a million other things we decided we needed for the camper, we had about a $1000 weekend between our 3 day shopping trips. Ugh!
But, at least they are things we won't have to buy again. Eventually we'll have everything we need, and trips there will only require the cost of groceries, which we would need at home anyway. When we got back, we had lunch and then we all hung out in bed, watching a movie, enjoying the air conditioning. I guess you cannot call what we do camping. With a comfy bed, a TV, a DVD player, air, a full kitchen and bathroom....I guess glamping would be a better term. Glamorous camping. But the people next to us had an RV and they had a damn fireplace and their bedroom was actually a bedroom. Ours is just basically a bed with two end tables on either side at one end of the camper, a wall at the foot of our bed where the TV goes, and curtains on each side to separate from the "living room"....but it is nice and gives us enough privacy and space away from the little one, especially for when she is older and wants to bring a friend.
Plus it is way better than the pop out beds on the camper we were originally looking at. Ryan and I both had this irrational fear of some crazy person with a knife, cutting through the screens and killing us in our sleep. I guess we watched too many horror movies about camping as kids. We did look at a camper with a fireplace though, and we were really considering it. I would have really liked it, but aside from our bed, we would have had no other actual beds, just couches that fold out into beds. But it had a decent size living room, with the fireplace and a couch and two recliners. That would have been very nice, because aside from our "couch" we have no real comfy place to sit. I mean the benches at the table are nice, but you can't relax at a table.
But the thing I didn't like about the fireplace one was, we wouldn't really be able to enjoy the living room because we would constantly have a bed folded out in the middle of it. It would be a good option for some empty nesters or couples with no kids, but not for us. But I do love fireplaces. I would LOVE to have one in our house. I might just have to settle for a fake one someday when we finish the basement. Once we got up from a little nap, I took Emily for a walk. We played at the playground for a bit, we walked down to the beach and she splashed around in ankle deeper water for a little while. I was taking pictures when she climbed up on the chair behind me, so I took a picture of the two of us, but I couldn't see it because of the glare from the sun. Later when I was looking at the pics, I discovered that she had this crazy look on her face with her tongue sticking out in the picture. How funny!
Then we left the beach and walked along the path that goes around the lake. The total path is 3.2 miles all around, but we obviously couldn't do that right then. We only walked a little bit and then we headed back and cut through the campground coming back. I was trying to familiarize myself a little more, to figure out how to get everywhere. When we first got there, we were very overwhelmed and lost, but by that first night we got all of the roads figured out and how to get back to our camper. I can't wait to take my bike and the trailer next time and bike around the lake, that will be great exercise. So I can eat all the s'mores!!! I actually am not a huge fan of s'mores. I'd rather eat all the ingredients separately. When we walked back to camp, Ryan was grilling steaks for dinner. I put corn on the cob in the microwave and put beans on the stove top. It all came out great. Once our dinner settled, we made hobo pies. Ryan had bought these things that you stick right in the fire pit, they open up, you put the food in and then cook it right in the fire. You can make pies, pizza, breakfast burritos (dinner burritos too I suppose). It was good. It'll be fun to experiment with different pie fillings and different breads, and recipes.
That night at bedtime we put on Madagascar and we all watched in our bed. Emily was cracking up, she loved it. She fell asleep close to the end, which was perfect timing. The next day we slept in, and then had breakfast. We decided to take one last trip to the beach, and I told Ryan he was coming whether he liked it or not. He wouldn't swim, but I was just happy he came with. He did come walk in the water with us up to his knees, so we just hung out at his depth so it was like he was swimming. For the past two years, I've been so unhappy with how I look in a swimsuit, so I have just been wearing swim shorts and a nursing tank. The tank fits me and it's long enough that I don't have to worry about my tummy popping out. But I figured I had better buy a real suit in case we ever go swimming someplace that insist I wear an actual swim suit instead of a nursing tank (it's so much more flattering though).
So I ordered one online, and I went by measurement sizes, which are often wrong, but I needed to start somewhere. It's hard to order clothes online because I have no hips, so if I go by my hip measurement, they would be way too small everywhere else. And waist size wasn't really an issue because this tankini top is flowy, rather than the style that clings to your belly. So I basically went by chest size....but I think women who have the same size chest as me, are naturally bigger all over. I don't naturally have a huge chest.....it's not small, but I'm not naturally the size I currently am. I'm just fat. If I lost weight, my boobs would shrink and they would be a very manageable size. Not tiny, but not "flop one over your shoulder so you can see you toes" kinda big. So anyway, the suit comes the other day and I try it on. The top is definitely roomy, not at all clingy like bathing suits are supposed to fit (which may be an issue if it floats off of me in the water). But I don't think it is so big that I can't wear it. I have another one coming, I'll keep whichever one looks best on me. But then I held up the bottoms. They were enormous! They looked like the panties Jack Black held up when he was dating Gweneth Paltrow in Shallow Hal! Again, I am smaller on the bottom than I am on top, so I just had to laugh when I saw how big the bottoms are. No offense to ladies who do wear them, after all, I am fat too, I'd just never seen something for me that was that big. I sometimes need a 2X shirt, but I can wear medium to large bottoms. Which kind of sucks, you end up looking like humpty dumpty. But, I am back on track. I lost 3.5 lbs this week, and I think I am ready to get serious again to get this weight off.
So after the beach we headed back and started packing up. We had a lot to do because we were too lazy to do the dinner dishes the night before. The camground people would be moving our camper back to storage the next day, so when I put stuff away I had to find secure places so things wouldn't fall over and break or leak liquids everywhere. So I did all the inside stuff while Ryan packed everything up outside and started closing the camper up. It was so nice to leave there, and be home 45 minutes later. We're used to having a 3.5-4 hour drive after going away for the weekend. I'm definitely excited for the next time we go back. We had a few scares with Emily over the weekend though. We're not used to being someplace where we have to watch her so closely. We're always either at home, in the yard, at someone else's home, or someplace in public where she is holding our hands or in the stroller. So being at our home away from home, it was scary because you want to give her freedom to play, but the road is not far away and there are strangers in every direction just 30 feet away.
So the first scare came the first night when we were unpacking the truck. When I walked away from the camper, to get more stuff from the truck, Ryan and Emily were both outside. I must have heard a neighbor's door shut, because I thought I heard Ryan go inside but as I was walking back, I didn't see Emily anywhere, and I didn't figure she could have gone inside with him so quickly. It takes her forever to walk up those stairs and get in the door. So I threw my armload of stuff down and started running, calling her name....just then she comes toddling out from behind the camper, happy as a clam, with daddy in tow. Whew, talk about a panic.
Then when we were packing up to leave, we were standing outside and Ryan was telling me something about packing up, when I suddenly looked around and there was no Em is sight. I nervously said, where is Em?! Ryan yelled out, Emily! Then I looked down and she was literally standing right by my side. Geeze, we're going to have to put a cat bell on her. She also got way too close for our comfort to the fire pit on several occasions. She knows what hot things are and to stay away, but I was worried if she tripped and fell she could fall in, so I wanted her to give the pit a wide berth. So that is on our list too, something to put around the pit to keep her from getting too close. But we had fun, I think we will really enjoy our home away from home and hopefully we'll be able to make years of great memories for Em.
Tuesday, July 5, 2016
Grateful for rainbows
I started this entry several days ago, and forgot to post it. I couldn't sleep Thursday night, so I got out of bed around 5:30 to start my day and get a jump start on everything I had to do. I was browsing pinterest while I took a break and I came across an article about 9 things women who battle infertility want you to know. I was curious, so I read them. Having been there, I understood, but at the same time, having come through the other side and having been blessed with a living child, it also made me.....what's the word. Not angry, because like I said, I've been there. I guess I felt the need to clear up a misconception. The one that piqued my interest was the one that said women with infertility cannot handle hearing women complain about pregnancy or their children.
I know, I knooooow, I've been there. It's so easy to assume that this ungrateful bitch has no idea how lucky she is, and if only I could get pregnant and have a kid, I would never take them for granted, not even for one second. I know how easy it is to think that. But it's simply not true. Being pregnant can be awful. I experienced some of the most painful things in my life when I was pregnant. Round ligament pain (which I still get from time to time with a good sneeze, is that normal?), cervix checks, being manually dilated, having your pelvic bones spread before delivery which feels like you're vagina is sitting directly on a bike post without the seat, cramps from hell, that first time you get out of bed post-Csection once you're epi has worn off, the first time you sneeze after a csection....I could go on an on. When I lost Kayla, I would have gladly taken any one or all of those things if it meant still being pregnant with her, and getting to keep her.
But...that doesn't mean those things are easy to deal with, and complaining about them doesn't make you a horrible ungrateful person. So I felt the need to comment. Not to prove I am right, not to be shitty to women who are hurting, just because I no longer suffering from infertility (but I will always hurt for Kayla and going through what we did will always have helped shape me to be who I am today), but to maybe offer the perspective of someone who has been there, and is now on the other side. To maybe give them a way to think differently some times, to make themselves feel better. No one has to think this way, it honestly does not hurt me if people see me in public being annoyed with my kid, and thinking I don't appreciate her, but it's got to be hell for them. Just like you forgive people for your own well-being, not for theirs, I thought maybe I could offer a perspective that may help them feel a little less angry, hurt, and broken. So I thought I would share what I wanted to comment (but didn't because it just became way too long):
What I am about to say is not to judge, or condemn you and other women for thinking this way. But to hopefully offer a different perspective to maybe relieve some of the anger and anguish felt from infertility. From start to finish it took three years to get my daughter, 21 months of infertility, one miscarriage, one stillbirth and a high risk pregnancy for multiple reasons. Strangers may see me out in public with my daughter and think how lucky I am, and feel jealous of me, not knowing the struggles I went through to get her. I realize that sadly for many women, infertility doesn't always have a happy ending, but please don't assume that everyone complaining about pregnancy or their children take them for granted.
I suppose some women do, but I know how blessed I am. I think about my lost daughter every single day. I look at my living daughter and think about how lucky I am to have her. I may not feel that way all day, but I feel it every single day. When the bad stuff happened, I wondered why me. But when my daughter was born, I again wondered why me? What had I done so great in my life to deserve this little girl? Pregnancy IS hard, and throwing up all the time, hurting all the time, and worrying all the time is hard. I had some good days in my last pregnancy, but at least some part of every single day was spent worrying. Every cramp, every spot of blood, every weird feeling, I was terrified I would lose her. I know, I've been there. In the days after my stillbirth, there was nothing I wouldn't give to have felt those aches and pains again, but being grateful doesn't make them any easier to cope with, and feeling miserable and venting doesn't mean we are ungrateful.
Raising children is hard. Everything you know, everything you do, everything you think, your parents had a hand in teaching you, showing you, and correcting you. But many of us cannot remember back so far to our toddler years. We think all that knowledge was just somehow magically bestowed on us. Most of us have figured out ways to make it through the day while adequately communicating our needs and wants. Some haven't, of course, but for the most part we forget that our little minions are just learning these things for the first time. We're trying to have patients with new communicators, new do-ers, new learners, and it's hard to sit back and be cognizant of the fact that they aren't trying to ruin our day, they just simply are not and cannot be capable of behaving like the tiny human we are striving for them to be right now! I love my daughter with all my heart, and I am so so appreciative of her and I am well aware of how lucky I am to have her, but when she burst into tears for the fifth time that morning because she dropped her doll (at her feet, where she could very easily bend and pick her up) or her cookie broke in two, or because I nicely told her to come away from whatever danger she was about to get herself into, it is impossible for any human being on this earth can keep calm and patient all the time with their children, and wanting one so badly because you cannot have one, does not give one super powers to combat against these hair-pulling moments. You're not a bad parent when you get frustrated with your children, and getting mat or frustrated with them does not mean you do not love and appreciate them.
I sometimes think I would like to have another child, but the fear is stopping me. The fear of infertility, that crushing defeat every month when the pregnancy test is negative, or those many months of not having a period, wondering if ovulation is ever going to happen, and if it does, you'll miss it because you're so irregular, it's difficult to catch the signs or take an OPK at exactly the right time. Looking for an impending O after months and months of irregularity is like looking for a needle in a haystack. The worry that once you do get pregnant, that you'll lose it. People say once you're past first tri you're out of the woods. Not for me, I lost my daughter at 22 weeks. Even past that point, the love and support you get from baby loss support groups has a down side, you learn of ALL the other ways you can lose your baby, right up to the day you deliver and beyond. I also worry that if I had another, I would be punished for being greedy, and something bad would happen...or that I am not allowed to want another, because I already have everything I could ever want in the world.
I realize these are your private thoughts, and you have every right to feel them. And sometimes you need a villain, someone or something tangible to be angry at, because infertility and loss is no one's fault. I completely understand that. But perhaps some days, it will help to know everyone is fighting a battle of some kind. The stressed out looking mom at the grocery store yelling at her kids, may be having a hard day because it is the anniversary of losing one of her children...or the mom playing at the park, looking absolutely enthralled with her child and so in love, is celebrating a good day, thinking about how lucky she is to have her child after going through infertility in the past. When I lost my daughter, I stupidly looked up to see how many babies were born, and lived, at the hospital I gave birth at that same day. Seven. Seven other women gave birth and experienced the best day of their lives, as I was experiencing my worst.
I wondered, why did they get their take home babies? How come they gave birth to a live baby and I did not? But then I realized, perhaps all seven of those women were giving birth to their rainbow baby, after years of painful infertility and/or loss. Some days this thinking didn't help, I NEEDED to be angry and bitter and feel bad, but some days it did, and it made it much easier to feel joy for them, and to give myself hope that one day, I too would be one of the women giving birth to a live baby. In fact, the day I went in for my induction with my living daughter, on my way to my labor room, we passed a room with an angel on the door...the same angel that alerted people a year earlier that my room was not filled with joy. I didn't know those people, but I prayed for them, and I knew how lucky I was, going to meet my miracle. I hope you are able to experience the other side one day, to get that miracle I know you pray for every day. My thoughts and prayers are with all women who cannot have the one thing they want in the world.
I know, I knooooow, I've been there. It's so easy to assume that this ungrateful bitch has no idea how lucky she is, and if only I could get pregnant and have a kid, I would never take them for granted, not even for one second. I know how easy it is to think that. But it's simply not true. Being pregnant can be awful. I experienced some of the most painful things in my life when I was pregnant. Round ligament pain (which I still get from time to time with a good sneeze, is that normal?), cervix checks, being manually dilated, having your pelvic bones spread before delivery which feels like you're vagina is sitting directly on a bike post without the seat, cramps from hell, that first time you get out of bed post-Csection once you're epi has worn off, the first time you sneeze after a csection....I could go on an on. When I lost Kayla, I would have gladly taken any one or all of those things if it meant still being pregnant with her, and getting to keep her.
But...that doesn't mean those things are easy to deal with, and complaining about them doesn't make you a horrible ungrateful person. So I felt the need to comment. Not to prove I am right, not to be shitty to women who are hurting, just because I no longer suffering from infertility (but I will always hurt for Kayla and going through what we did will always have helped shape me to be who I am today), but to maybe offer the perspective of someone who has been there, and is now on the other side. To maybe give them a way to think differently some times, to make themselves feel better. No one has to think this way, it honestly does not hurt me if people see me in public being annoyed with my kid, and thinking I don't appreciate her, but it's got to be hell for them. Just like you forgive people for your own well-being, not for theirs, I thought maybe I could offer a perspective that may help them feel a little less angry, hurt, and broken. So I thought I would share what I wanted to comment (but didn't because it just became way too long):
What I am about to say is not to judge, or condemn you and other women for thinking this way. But to hopefully offer a different perspective to maybe relieve some of the anger and anguish felt from infertility. From start to finish it took three years to get my daughter, 21 months of infertility, one miscarriage, one stillbirth and a high risk pregnancy for multiple reasons. Strangers may see me out in public with my daughter and think how lucky I am, and feel jealous of me, not knowing the struggles I went through to get her. I realize that sadly for many women, infertility doesn't always have a happy ending, but please don't assume that everyone complaining about pregnancy or their children take them for granted.
I suppose some women do, but I know how blessed I am. I think about my lost daughter every single day. I look at my living daughter and think about how lucky I am to have her. I may not feel that way all day, but I feel it every single day. When the bad stuff happened, I wondered why me. But when my daughter was born, I again wondered why me? What had I done so great in my life to deserve this little girl? Pregnancy IS hard, and throwing up all the time, hurting all the time, and worrying all the time is hard. I had some good days in my last pregnancy, but at least some part of every single day was spent worrying. Every cramp, every spot of blood, every weird feeling, I was terrified I would lose her. I know, I've been there. In the days after my stillbirth, there was nothing I wouldn't give to have felt those aches and pains again, but being grateful doesn't make them any easier to cope with, and feeling miserable and venting doesn't mean we are ungrateful.
Raising children is hard. Everything you know, everything you do, everything you think, your parents had a hand in teaching you, showing you, and correcting you. But many of us cannot remember back so far to our toddler years. We think all that knowledge was just somehow magically bestowed on us. Most of us have figured out ways to make it through the day while adequately communicating our needs and wants. Some haven't, of course, but for the most part we forget that our little minions are just learning these things for the first time. We're trying to have patients with new communicators, new do-ers, new learners, and it's hard to sit back and be cognizant of the fact that they aren't trying to ruin our day, they just simply are not and cannot be capable of behaving like the tiny human we are striving for them to be right now! I love my daughter with all my heart, and I am so so appreciative of her and I am well aware of how lucky I am to have her, but when she burst into tears for the fifth time that morning because she dropped her doll (at her feet, where she could very easily bend and pick her up) or her cookie broke in two, or because I nicely told her to come away from whatever danger she was about to get herself into, it is impossible for any human being on this earth can keep calm and patient all the time with their children, and wanting one so badly because you cannot have one, does not give one super powers to combat against these hair-pulling moments. You're not a bad parent when you get frustrated with your children, and getting mat or frustrated with them does not mean you do not love and appreciate them.
I sometimes think I would like to have another child, but the fear is stopping me. The fear of infertility, that crushing defeat every month when the pregnancy test is negative, or those many months of not having a period, wondering if ovulation is ever going to happen, and if it does, you'll miss it because you're so irregular, it's difficult to catch the signs or take an OPK at exactly the right time. Looking for an impending O after months and months of irregularity is like looking for a needle in a haystack. The worry that once you do get pregnant, that you'll lose it. People say once you're past first tri you're out of the woods. Not for me, I lost my daughter at 22 weeks. Even past that point, the love and support you get from baby loss support groups has a down side, you learn of ALL the other ways you can lose your baby, right up to the day you deliver and beyond. I also worry that if I had another, I would be punished for being greedy, and something bad would happen...or that I am not allowed to want another, because I already have everything I could ever want in the world.
I realize these are your private thoughts, and you have every right to feel them. And sometimes you need a villain, someone or something tangible to be angry at, because infertility and loss is no one's fault. I completely understand that. But perhaps some days, it will help to know everyone is fighting a battle of some kind. The stressed out looking mom at the grocery store yelling at her kids, may be having a hard day because it is the anniversary of losing one of her children...or the mom playing at the park, looking absolutely enthralled with her child and so in love, is celebrating a good day, thinking about how lucky she is to have her child after going through infertility in the past. When I lost my daughter, I stupidly looked up to see how many babies were born, and lived, at the hospital I gave birth at that same day. Seven. Seven other women gave birth and experienced the best day of their lives, as I was experiencing my worst.
I wondered, why did they get their take home babies? How come they gave birth to a live baby and I did not? But then I realized, perhaps all seven of those women were giving birth to their rainbow baby, after years of painful infertility and/or loss. Some days this thinking didn't help, I NEEDED to be angry and bitter and feel bad, but some days it did, and it made it much easier to feel joy for them, and to give myself hope that one day, I too would be one of the women giving birth to a live baby. In fact, the day I went in for my induction with my living daughter, on my way to my labor room, we passed a room with an angel on the door...the same angel that alerted people a year earlier that my room was not filled with joy. I didn't know those people, but I prayed for them, and I knew how lucky I was, going to meet my miracle. I hope you are able to experience the other side one day, to get that miracle I know you pray for every day. My thoughts and prayers are with all women who cannot have the one thing they want in the world.
Sunday, June 26, 2016
Fun summer weekend
We had a fun, busy weekend. Friday night we packed up the truck and took Emily to see Finding Dory at the drive in. She went to her first drive in last summer, but she didn't really care about it and was asleep about 15 minutes in.
I felt like we were packing for a road trip. We put an air mattress in the bed of the truck, brought pillows and blankets, we brought a cooler with drinks, brought some snacks and picked up McDonald's on the way for dinner. We also had to stop and buy a radio, since our truck's back window doesn't open, we wanted to make sure we would be able to hear the audio. We also had to bring her potty. Despite putting her in a pull up and her jammies, she often still wants to pee in the potty. Who knew the drive in required so much stuff?
The people next to us were even more prepared. This obviously wasn't their first rodeo. They had chairs in the bed of their truck (which probably would have been more comfy for me and Ryan), homemade wooden steps to get into the bed (I made it in, but the jump was not very graceful) and a big speaker on a stand for the audio. We took notes.
However we did think to bring a mosquito candle. There are three screens at this drive in, two are out in the open and one is back in some wooded area. This time we were at one of the open ones, so I don't know if we were just in a less mosquito infested area, or if the candle worked. But last year sucked. The truck we had at the time had a cap instead of the easily removable hard cover so sitting in the bed wasn't a good option, so we took the Equinox. We underestimated the roominess of the cargo area so it wasn't that comfortable to hang out in, and the bugs were eating us alive. Plus it was very hot still, so we turned the car around and sat in inside with the air on. More comfortable, but not the drive in experience I was hoping for.
But this year was so much better....despite being very hot that day, by the time we got there at 8:30 the weather was very comfortable and within an hour we needed sweatshirts. The bugs were almost non-existent and the air mattress was mostly comfortable. Em had a great time running around the truck bed and just being up and out at that night of night and eating snacks. Once the movie started she excitedly said Nemo and Dory a few times, but this was all too new and fun to sit and really pay attention to the movie. But it is a good way to go see movies since there is no way she is ready to go to a theater. About ten minutes till the end she finally settled down in my lap and then fell asleep, so we had a nice easy bed time when we got home, just carried her in and put her to bed.
I'm excited that Frozen 2 is set to come out in 2018; she'll be 4 by then and I think ready for her first movie theater movie. Hopefully she still likes Frozen by then. We plan to take her to the drive in again for The Secret Life of Pets when that comes out. Even if she doesn't pay much attention to this one either, I am excited for this one. I could have waited till Dory came out on DVD...Finding Nemo has never been my favorite movie.
Saturday morning we met my best friend and her boys at the park so they could play. It was nice because the kids went off to play and we could actually sit and have a conversation, unlike when we go out to eat or to the mall. I love that Emily has all these big brother type friends to play with her and make sure she is ok. Last week we went to one of Ryan's 5Ks and they had a bounce house, so our friend's son who is 10 I believe, took her in and made sure she didn't get trampled by any of the big kids. Most all of our friends have boys, so she'll have a lot of big brothers to look out for her over the years.
I got to check out the splash pad too, it's right next door to the playground. I was going to take her the day before, but I had never been, and again wasn't sure if there would be a lot of bigger kids running around. But it was pretty deserted when we first got there, and even when people showed up, they were mostly younger kids and they weren't too rowdy and crazy. Gotta make sure things are ok for my tiny princess. We had packed lunches and ate at the park too, it was a nice afternoon. The kids got filthy though! Not sure why that playground was any dirtier than others, but they had dirt all over the hands, arms, legs, faces....plus it didn't help that it was sticking to their sunscreen. As I was cleaning Em's hands she was concerned that it would take her polish off her nails. My sweet little girly girl.
After that we just went home and took a nap. I should have gotten stuff done while Em napped, but I was so tired and it was hot out so I laid down in my bed with the fan blowing on me, and of course I fell asleep. I need to get on a better sleep schedule, and get more done during the week so I can relax on the weekends without feeling guilty. Especially now that I am working too. I try to only work on weeknights, so I can feel like I have a real break on the weekends. Working from home, I am always tempted to log on and check my emails, but that will inevitably lead me to working all hours of the day and on weekends. I purposefully keep myself logged out of my work email on my computer when I am not working, and I haven't linked it to my phone so I won't be tempted to take care of things as they come in. I should maybe start working more on Wednesdays though while Em is at her Nana's, and maybe some during her nap too. Then I wouldn't have to work so much at night after she goes to bed.
When she got up, we took her out in the yard to swim, and we blew up those water balloons that you attach to the hose and blow up like 50 at a time. They were pretty cool and most all of them blew up like they were supposed to. So we were all throwing water balloons at each other and every time Ryan would pop one over Em's head she would scream and yell like she was mad and then she would laugh. Today we didn't do much, just relaxed, and then watched a couple hours of Shark Week. I had intended to go out and either get the shark week Slurpee from 7/11 or the ice cream from Cold Stone...but I didn't shower today, and my acid reflux was bad last night and made me throw up, so today I had puke face. I did not want to leave the house looking like that. I wish I could be like normal people and throw up and not look crazy afterward. Or not throw up at all, that would be nice too.
I guess I am going to have to move up Em's night training a little. I still have half a pack of pull ups left and I was going to start once we used those up, but last night, today at nap and tonight she took her diaper off. Last night and this afternoon I went in and put it back on so she wouldn't pee all over herself, but it of course woke her up and then she cried it out for a while before she would go back to sleep. I'll probably regret it in the morning, but so far I've decided not to go in tonight. She'll likely take it back off during the night anyway, and I'll have woken her up for no reason.
I ordered her new dresser today. I think this week I will get her furniture moved around. The place where the current dresser is, is not where the new one is going. So I want to get her crib and everything else moved to their spots so when the new dresser comes in we're ready for it. There is also a lot of other re-arranging I have to do. Once I move the crib, there will suddenly be all this new stuff she can reach like pictures on the wall, small things on a shelf, so I've got to figure out where to move those items to. The new dresser comes fully assembled, which is awesome, but I'm a little worried about getting it through the bedroom door. But, I suppose the doorway is no smaller than most, and other people seem to get it in ok.
I'm off to go study up on how the heck to get this kid to be night potty trained.
I felt like we were packing for a road trip. We put an air mattress in the bed of the truck, brought pillows and blankets, we brought a cooler with drinks, brought some snacks and picked up McDonald's on the way for dinner. We also had to stop and buy a radio, since our truck's back window doesn't open, we wanted to make sure we would be able to hear the audio. We also had to bring her potty. Despite putting her in a pull up and her jammies, she often still wants to pee in the potty. Who knew the drive in required so much stuff?
The people next to us were even more prepared. This obviously wasn't their first rodeo. They had chairs in the bed of their truck (which probably would have been more comfy for me and Ryan), homemade wooden steps to get into the bed (I made it in, but the jump was not very graceful) and a big speaker on a stand for the audio. We took notes.
However we did think to bring a mosquito candle. There are three screens at this drive in, two are out in the open and one is back in some wooded area. This time we were at one of the open ones, so I don't know if we were just in a less mosquito infested area, or if the candle worked. But last year sucked. The truck we had at the time had a cap instead of the easily removable hard cover so sitting in the bed wasn't a good option, so we took the Equinox. We underestimated the roominess of the cargo area so it wasn't that comfortable to hang out in, and the bugs were eating us alive. Plus it was very hot still, so we turned the car around and sat in inside with the air on. More comfortable, but not the drive in experience I was hoping for.
But this year was so much better....despite being very hot that day, by the time we got there at 8:30 the weather was very comfortable and within an hour we needed sweatshirts. The bugs were almost non-existent and the air mattress was mostly comfortable. Em had a great time running around the truck bed and just being up and out at that night of night and eating snacks. Once the movie started she excitedly said Nemo and Dory a few times, but this was all too new and fun to sit and really pay attention to the movie. But it is a good way to go see movies since there is no way she is ready to go to a theater. About ten minutes till the end she finally settled down in my lap and then fell asleep, so we had a nice easy bed time when we got home, just carried her in and put her to bed.
I'm excited that Frozen 2 is set to come out in 2018; she'll be 4 by then and I think ready for her first movie theater movie. Hopefully she still likes Frozen by then. We plan to take her to the drive in again for The Secret Life of Pets when that comes out. Even if she doesn't pay much attention to this one either, I am excited for this one. I could have waited till Dory came out on DVD...Finding Nemo has never been my favorite movie.
Saturday morning we met my best friend and her boys at the park so they could play. It was nice because the kids went off to play and we could actually sit and have a conversation, unlike when we go out to eat or to the mall. I love that Emily has all these big brother type friends to play with her and make sure she is ok. Last week we went to one of Ryan's 5Ks and they had a bounce house, so our friend's son who is 10 I believe, took her in and made sure she didn't get trampled by any of the big kids. Most all of our friends have boys, so she'll have a lot of big brothers to look out for her over the years.
I got to check out the splash pad too, it's right next door to the playground. I was going to take her the day before, but I had never been, and again wasn't sure if there would be a lot of bigger kids running around. But it was pretty deserted when we first got there, and even when people showed up, they were mostly younger kids and they weren't too rowdy and crazy. Gotta make sure things are ok for my tiny princess. We had packed lunches and ate at the park too, it was a nice afternoon. The kids got filthy though! Not sure why that playground was any dirtier than others, but they had dirt all over the hands, arms, legs, faces....plus it didn't help that it was sticking to their sunscreen. As I was cleaning Em's hands she was concerned that it would take her polish off her nails. My sweet little girly girl.
After that we just went home and took a nap. I should have gotten stuff done while Em napped, but I was so tired and it was hot out so I laid down in my bed with the fan blowing on me, and of course I fell asleep. I need to get on a better sleep schedule, and get more done during the week so I can relax on the weekends without feeling guilty. Especially now that I am working too. I try to only work on weeknights, so I can feel like I have a real break on the weekends. Working from home, I am always tempted to log on and check my emails, but that will inevitably lead me to working all hours of the day and on weekends. I purposefully keep myself logged out of my work email on my computer when I am not working, and I haven't linked it to my phone so I won't be tempted to take care of things as they come in. I should maybe start working more on Wednesdays though while Em is at her Nana's, and maybe some during her nap too. Then I wouldn't have to work so much at night after she goes to bed.
When she got up, we took her out in the yard to swim, and we blew up those water balloons that you attach to the hose and blow up like 50 at a time. They were pretty cool and most all of them blew up like they were supposed to. So we were all throwing water balloons at each other and every time Ryan would pop one over Em's head she would scream and yell like she was mad and then she would laugh. Today we didn't do much, just relaxed, and then watched a couple hours of Shark Week. I had intended to go out and either get the shark week Slurpee from 7/11 or the ice cream from Cold Stone...but I didn't shower today, and my acid reflux was bad last night and made me throw up, so today I had puke face. I did not want to leave the house looking like that. I wish I could be like normal people and throw up and not look crazy afterward. Or not throw up at all, that would be nice too.
I guess I am going to have to move up Em's night training a little. I still have half a pack of pull ups left and I was going to start once we used those up, but last night, today at nap and tonight she took her diaper off. Last night and this afternoon I went in and put it back on so she wouldn't pee all over herself, but it of course woke her up and then she cried it out for a while before she would go back to sleep. I'll probably regret it in the morning, but so far I've decided not to go in tonight. She'll likely take it back off during the night anyway, and I'll have woken her up for no reason.
I ordered her new dresser today. I think this week I will get her furniture moved around. The place where the current dresser is, is not where the new one is going. So I want to get her crib and everything else moved to their spots so when the new dresser comes in we're ready for it. There is also a lot of other re-arranging I have to do. Once I move the crib, there will suddenly be all this new stuff she can reach like pictures on the wall, small things on a shelf, so I've got to figure out where to move those items to. The new dresser comes fully assembled, which is awesome, but I'm a little worried about getting it through the bedroom door. But, I suppose the doorway is no smaller than most, and other people seem to get it in ok.
I'm off to go study up on how the heck to get this kid to be night potty trained.
Sunday, June 19, 2016
Big girl bedroom
In preparation for releasing my little beast from her cage, I've started round two of baby proofing Emily's room. It was baby proofed when she became mobile, but once she's let loose in there and can get up and get into mischief while I am sleeping, it needs a baby proofing upgrade. I've never been super happy with her dresser/changing table. I loved it when I ordered it, but the price being right at the time doesn't make for quality furniture that lasts.
The back of the furniture is just a thick piece of cardboard essentially, so the blankets in the cabinet part have made the back pop off and bow out when the blankets get shoved in there to the back. The drawers and cabinet door are crooked and the drawers don't close all the way. I've put together a lot of furniture over the years and nothing ever turned out as poor as this piece did.
The belt on the changing pad has scratched the top of the dresser all up. I was looking forward to getting rid of the changing pad soon so I would have more surface area to put stuff on, but the table top looks horrible with all the scratches. The other day I was trying to put those sticky baby locks on. The second I tried to open the drawer with any force at all, the lock popped off and took a layer of veneer off the dresser. I wish I had paid a bit more to get better quality at the time, since now we have to buy something better, on top of the money we wasted on this one. But when you're planning for a baby, you have so much stuff to buy, so it's tempting to go cheap on some things, only to regret it later. My stepmom told me the other day that her and my dad and my inlaws were planning on buying all of the nursery furniture for us. They even went out to dinner to talk about it, but they said I went ahead and bought it all before they could. First of all, I waited quite a while to buy it, just in case anyone wanted to go in with others to get it. And secondly, I would have accepted reimbursement! So I jokingly told her she can buy me the new dresser :)
So anyway, a few people told me they were really happy with their babies r us furniture. I was excited to look there because I feel like so many traditional furniture stores have pieces that just look too grandma-ish.. Too old for a little girl's room. I immediately found a dresser I love and it got a lot of great reviews. This piece isn't cutesy at all, it just looks more age appropriate, but will still look great when she is a teenager too.
Since we've decided to spend more money for better quality, I was tempted to get the set I saw at Macy's a while back. The bed and chest and nightstand are all white and they are very "little girl, princessy". I know she'd love it now, but it's not really a set that would grow with her. I highly doubt she would still like it once she is like 15.
So then I was thinking, we're spending money to get a better dresser, so we should probably get her a better bed too. The metal canopy I had picked out is only about $100 or a little more. I guess it could, but for that price it likely won't last for years and years. So I started looking for a bed too, but the price for the bed and the dresser is a bit overwhelming, so we decided to just convert her crib into a full size bed.
I didn't want to at first, because we still need to buy the rails, but just buying the rails to convert it is way cheaper than buying a brand new bed and we'll have to get her box springs and a mattress no matter what bed we choose. We already know the crib is good quality and it looks great with her other furniture. I also didn't want to use it because it's a full size bed, and I didn't really want her in such a big bed. But, all it really means is she has more room to roll before falling out of bed. Isn't really a bad thing I guess (and we'll have a safety rail). It's not like a big bed is going to swallow her whole.
I had a twin bed up until I was like 18 or 19 because I took over my brother's bigger room once he moved out and finally had room for a bigger bed. I remember my first night sleeping in the double bed, I had so much room! And it was nice that when I moved out a few years later, I was able to take my bed with me. There was no way I was going to move out and take a twin bed. So my parents ended up having to buy me that new bed. But with Em starting out in a full size, maybe that will mean we won't have to get her a new bed ever, and she can even use this one even as an adult. It would be kind of cool to just one day when she's much older to say by the way, did you know this headboard and foot board was your crib? But watch, my entire plan will collapse when she one day claims she needs a queen or a king.
Well she can buy that on her dime. Besides, the full bed is barely going to fit in her room, no way will anything bigger. Pottery Barn has a room planner where you can choose the size of the room and put in all the furniture so you can decide where to put things before you start moving furniture. It will be a little tight, but I think everything is going to fit ok. We'll have to take the glider out though, no room for that. But once she has her big girl bed, I'll be able to climb in bed with her and read her stories, so we won't really need the glider in there anyway.
I just bought her a new pack of pull ups for naps and night time. So I think when we run out of those we'll take the front panel off her crib to make it into a toddler bed and work on night training. Once she is doing well with that, then we'll convert it into the full bed. I know I should enjoy this last month or so of her being behind bars....bed time will not be easy once the bars come down. But I'm so excited to move her on to the next stage. It is a little sad, but not like I thought it would be. When she was a baby I couldn't imagine getting rid of the crib, but that's cause she was a baby and still needed it. She's a big girl now and it just seems right for her to be moving on to the next stage. Besides I think she will love it. She sleeps in a big bed at Nana's now for nap, and whenever she gets on our bed she stretches out and looks so comfy. On to bigger and better things.
The back of the furniture is just a thick piece of cardboard essentially, so the blankets in the cabinet part have made the back pop off and bow out when the blankets get shoved in there to the back. The drawers and cabinet door are crooked and the drawers don't close all the way. I've put together a lot of furniture over the years and nothing ever turned out as poor as this piece did.
The belt on the changing pad has scratched the top of the dresser all up. I was looking forward to getting rid of the changing pad soon so I would have more surface area to put stuff on, but the table top looks horrible with all the scratches. The other day I was trying to put those sticky baby locks on. The second I tried to open the drawer with any force at all, the lock popped off and took a layer of veneer off the dresser. I wish I had paid a bit more to get better quality at the time, since now we have to buy something better, on top of the money we wasted on this one. But when you're planning for a baby, you have so much stuff to buy, so it's tempting to go cheap on some things, only to regret it later. My stepmom told me the other day that her and my dad and my inlaws were planning on buying all of the nursery furniture for us. They even went out to dinner to talk about it, but they said I went ahead and bought it all before they could. First of all, I waited quite a while to buy it, just in case anyone wanted to go in with others to get it. And secondly, I would have accepted reimbursement! So I jokingly told her she can buy me the new dresser :)
So anyway, a few people told me they were really happy with their babies r us furniture. I was excited to look there because I feel like so many traditional furniture stores have pieces that just look too grandma-ish.. Too old for a little girl's room. I immediately found a dresser I love and it got a lot of great reviews. This piece isn't cutesy at all, it just looks more age appropriate, but will still look great when she is a teenager too.
Since we've decided to spend more money for better quality, I was tempted to get the set I saw at Macy's a while back. The bed and chest and nightstand are all white and they are very "little girl, princessy". I know she'd love it now, but it's not really a set that would grow with her. I highly doubt she would still like it once she is like 15.
So then I was thinking, we're spending money to get a better dresser, so we should probably get her a better bed too. The metal canopy I had picked out is only about $100 or a little more. I guess it could, but for that price it likely won't last for years and years. So I started looking for a bed too, but the price for the bed and the dresser is a bit overwhelming, so we decided to just convert her crib into a full size bed.
I didn't want to at first, because we still need to buy the rails, but just buying the rails to convert it is way cheaper than buying a brand new bed and we'll have to get her box springs and a mattress no matter what bed we choose. We already know the crib is good quality and it looks great with her other furniture. I also didn't want to use it because it's a full size bed, and I didn't really want her in such a big bed. But, all it really means is she has more room to roll before falling out of bed. Isn't really a bad thing I guess (and we'll have a safety rail). It's not like a big bed is going to swallow her whole.
I had a twin bed up until I was like 18 or 19 because I took over my brother's bigger room once he moved out and finally had room for a bigger bed. I remember my first night sleeping in the double bed, I had so much room! And it was nice that when I moved out a few years later, I was able to take my bed with me. There was no way I was going to move out and take a twin bed. So my parents ended up having to buy me that new bed. But with Em starting out in a full size, maybe that will mean we won't have to get her a new bed ever, and she can even use this one even as an adult. It would be kind of cool to just one day when she's much older to say by the way, did you know this headboard and foot board was your crib? But watch, my entire plan will collapse when she one day claims she needs a queen or a king.
Well she can buy that on her dime. Besides, the full bed is barely going to fit in her room, no way will anything bigger. Pottery Barn has a room planner where you can choose the size of the room and put in all the furniture so you can decide where to put things before you start moving furniture. It will be a little tight, but I think everything is going to fit ok. We'll have to take the glider out though, no room for that. But once she has her big girl bed, I'll be able to climb in bed with her and read her stories, so we won't really need the glider in there anyway.
I just bought her a new pack of pull ups for naps and night time. So I think when we run out of those we'll take the front panel off her crib to make it into a toddler bed and work on night training. Once she is doing well with that, then we'll convert it into the full bed. I know I should enjoy this last month or so of her being behind bars....bed time will not be easy once the bars come down. But I'm so excited to move her on to the next stage. It is a little sad, but not like I thought it would be. When she was a baby I couldn't imagine getting rid of the crib, but that's cause she was a baby and still needed it. She's a big girl now and it just seems right for her to be moving on to the next stage. Besides I think she will love it. She sleeps in a big bed at Nana's now for nap, and whenever she gets on our bed she stretches out and looks so comfy. On to bigger and better things.
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Florida Tragedy
I have a million things to do right now, but I just have to get this off my chest. I am absolutely sickened and heartbroken for the parents who just lost their child to an alligator attack at a Disney resort. I was in tears last night reading about it, and it's all I have thought about today.
Of course you read horrible stuff happening to children day in and day out, and they are all tragedies and at the heart of it, despite what happened and how it happened, the child suffers an unimaginable injury or death. But for some reason, this story really got me. I think because the child is also 2, like Emily, and because we were just at a Disney resort a few months ago. But I cannot stop thinking about it and my heart is torn up for the parents.
As a parent you fear illnesses, accidents, drowning, car accident, abuse, etc. You try your best to safeguard them against any possible thing you can think of. To this day I won't let my daughter sleep without her ceiling fan on because I read having air circulating while they sleep helps guard against SIDS....she's TWO, she's been out of the SIDS danger zone for well over a year now, but even in the winter I just cannot sleep at night if I don't have her fan on. We keep the house at a good temperature and she is always dressed appropriately, and now she can get up and reach the light switch to turn it off if she were to get too cold, but I cannot bring myself to not turn it on when I put her to bed.
Rationally speaking, I guess this story isn't much different than losing a child to an illness, a car accident, or something else. The result is the same. Heartbroken parents who will never ever get over this, and a child that lost their life. But there is just something about the fact that it was such a freak accident, and the fact that they were supposed to be on a wonderful vacation, having a great time on the beach for family movie night and the unthinkable happens just tears me up. In an instant their child is not only gone, but there was nothing they could do. I know at this point there is no hope, because where on earth could he be if he were somehow still alive....but I keep holding on to the tiniest shred of hope that I will check the news and find that he has been found alive. But I know that won't be the case. I have since read that his body has been recovered, and it is intact. This of course does not bring him back, and it does not alleviate the parents' pain, but thank God they can at least lay their sweet boy to rest, and hopefully be somewhat comforted knowing that he likely drown and that it was hopefully quick and he did not suffer too much.
As a loss parent, I know all too well that you blame yourself for your child's loss. I know there was literally nothing I could have done to save Kayla, and nothing I should have even known to have done. But it's impossible to not feel the guilt, thinking I still should have been able to do something. So surely these parents will always second guess themselves....maybe movie night was a decision they made on a whim, so they'll always blame themselves for going instead of just going to bed, or for being near the water, or not watching him as closely.
But according to everything I read, they were right there with him, the mother was even holding his hand, and the father tried to wrestle with the gator to free his son. Being that I am afraid of most every animal/fish/amphibian on this planet, I would not have had my feet in the water nor let Emily do so. But this was Disney world, they weren't taking a stroll through the Everglades. Whose to even say that is why the gator attacked? Do people honestly think if the child had not been in the water, and had been say 4 feet off shore, that the gator would have left him alone? Maybe he would have, but I don't think it's possible to say it definitely wouldn't have attacked. Gators have legs, they can run very fast. And let's not forget, NOTHING like this has ever happened on Disney property in the 45 years they have been in business. And they might be in business another 100 years and it may never happen again. Yes Florida has alligators, yes you need to be cautious of them, but I don't think anyone was sitting on that beach during family movie, thinking of an escape plan should an alligator attack...or thinking that an alligator could even be in those waters. Who knows how long that gator was stalking that boy. They lie in wait, perfectly still until they strike. It was a freak accident, and likely nothing the parents did or didn't do would have created a different outcome.
During our time in Florida I was even hoping to see one (from a distance of course). As we rode the bus each day from the resort to the parks, I'd watch along the roadside near the woods/swamps, and the night we went out in the boat to watch the fireworks, our tour guide even shined his light on one on the banks, and I was disappointed that I couldn't really see it. While on the Disney train at the Magic Kingdom, I was excited that I was pretty sure I saw the telltale bumps of a gator sticking out of the water, partially submerged. To be clear, this was on the other side of the tracks, from the park as we circled the park on the train. So there was a river or stream, a small berm, the railroad tracks, and then the park. If that was indeed a gator I saw, that was about 20 yards maybe, from the edge of the park. Twenty yards from the edge of the MAGIC KINGDOM. Does anybody walking around the Magic Kingdom think about the fact that there are likely gators on the outskirts, just 20 yards away? Maybe, maybe not, but I sure as hell can guarantee that nobody is worried about being attacked by one while walking around the park.
Had that happened, had the boy been attacked and dragged away while in the park, would anyone be blaming the parents? Like I said, no I likely would not have gotten too close to the waters edge on that beach because I am scared of everything, but if I were sitting 20 feet from the beach, watching a movie with a slew of other people, on a Disney resort, I am certain I would not be thinking about the possibility of a gator coming out of the water and snatching a small child.
We stayed at The Art of Imagination, and our room was quite a walk from the main part of the resort. There was a lot of vegetation around, and not always a lot of people depending on what time it was. There was a lagoon not far from our rooms, maybe a quarter mile, maybe less, I don't know I am not good with estimating distance. But it is very possible that an alligator could have been lurking somewhere near our room. People find them on their doorsteps and in their pools, so why couldn't one be hanging around behind a bush, a stone's throw away from our room? Hell, I would venture to guess it isn't even impossible for one to show up in the resort's swimming pool. It's probably not likely since I would assume the gates are locked at night, and workers are cleaning around the pool, testing the water, etc before guests are allowed in each morning. But things slip through cracks, people make mistakes, gates get left open. The pool near our room was pretty big, but it wasn't even the biggest pool there. I think it is possible for a gator to be at the bottom of one end, and go unnoticed by a worker at the other end.
Despite the fact that I am afraid of everything, was a gator being in the pool something I worried about when I took my daughter swimming? No, not at all. It wasn't even a thought in my head. At someone's home pool in Florida? Yeah, I would probably think about it. When I first met my husband, I was planning on eventually moving to Florida with him because he had a job lined up to build gator cages around peoples' pools. But a pool at a Disney World Resort? Nope, not at all. This family wasn't near a swamp, they weren't vacationing in the Everglades. They were enjoying an evening as a family, watching a movie and their baby was ripped away from them by a dangerous, wild animal on a Disney Resort. It makes me sick that anyone can even begin to blame the parents.
Letting your child play in traffic? Yes, bad parent. Leaving your two year old home alone? Yes, bad parent. Not putting your child in a car seat while driving? Yes, bad parent. Letting your child walk in the water of a man-made lagoon on a Disney resort? No, not a bad parent. Not even a little bit. There is no way they could have foreseen this, or even imagined this would happen in their wildest dreams. It was a freak accident, and it could have happened had the child been completely out of the water, four feet off short, or even walking down the lit path of the resort somewhat near the lagoon. These parents are experiencing the worst pain of the entire lives, and these assholes judging them, and acting like it was deserved because they decided they weren't watching their kid well enough are heartless. Would they say this to a family member, or even a neighbor? Would they say this to an acquaintance....sorry your kid died, I'm heartbroken for you, but you really shouldn't have been in the water?
Saying this will not bring the kid back, nor will it save anyone else because this was such a remote, freak thing it will likely never even happen again. I can only hope and pray that the child's death was quick and he didn't suffer too much. As for the parents, I cannot say I hope they find comfort or peace, because they won't. It's impossible. They will mourn their sweet boy for the rest of their lives, and they will re-live this nightmare every single day. I honest to God have no idea how they will go on, or even breathe again. Losing a child is the most horrible thing that can happen to someone, but seeing it happen, seeing this monster rip your baby from you, knowing your child's last moments on earth were filled with fear and pain....my heart hurts for them, and I am so angry for them. I don't know them, before yesterday I did not know this family existed. But today I wish I could somehow take away their pain, or comfort them in some way. I can only hope that they can feel some of the love and support from complete strangers all over the world, and know that their pain is our pain, and that we are grieving with them, and thinking of them and their beautiful baby boy and their daughter.
Of course you read horrible stuff happening to children day in and day out, and they are all tragedies and at the heart of it, despite what happened and how it happened, the child suffers an unimaginable injury or death. But for some reason, this story really got me. I think because the child is also 2, like Emily, and because we were just at a Disney resort a few months ago. But I cannot stop thinking about it and my heart is torn up for the parents.
As a parent you fear illnesses, accidents, drowning, car accident, abuse, etc. You try your best to safeguard them against any possible thing you can think of. To this day I won't let my daughter sleep without her ceiling fan on because I read having air circulating while they sleep helps guard against SIDS....she's TWO, she's been out of the SIDS danger zone for well over a year now, but even in the winter I just cannot sleep at night if I don't have her fan on. We keep the house at a good temperature and she is always dressed appropriately, and now she can get up and reach the light switch to turn it off if she were to get too cold, but I cannot bring myself to not turn it on when I put her to bed.
Rationally speaking, I guess this story isn't much different than losing a child to an illness, a car accident, or something else. The result is the same. Heartbroken parents who will never ever get over this, and a child that lost their life. But there is just something about the fact that it was such a freak accident, and the fact that they were supposed to be on a wonderful vacation, having a great time on the beach for family movie night and the unthinkable happens just tears me up. In an instant their child is not only gone, but there was nothing they could do. I know at this point there is no hope, because where on earth could he be if he were somehow still alive....but I keep holding on to the tiniest shred of hope that I will check the news and find that he has been found alive. But I know that won't be the case. I have since read that his body has been recovered, and it is intact. This of course does not bring him back, and it does not alleviate the parents' pain, but thank God they can at least lay their sweet boy to rest, and hopefully be somewhat comforted knowing that he likely drown and that it was hopefully quick and he did not suffer too much.
As a loss parent, I know all too well that you blame yourself for your child's loss. I know there was literally nothing I could have done to save Kayla, and nothing I should have even known to have done. But it's impossible to not feel the guilt, thinking I still should have been able to do something. So surely these parents will always second guess themselves....maybe movie night was a decision they made on a whim, so they'll always blame themselves for going instead of just going to bed, or for being near the water, or not watching him as closely.
But according to everything I read, they were right there with him, the mother was even holding his hand, and the father tried to wrestle with the gator to free his son. Being that I am afraid of most every animal/fish/amphibian on this planet, I would not have had my feet in the water nor let Emily do so. But this was Disney world, they weren't taking a stroll through the Everglades. Whose to even say that is why the gator attacked? Do people honestly think if the child had not been in the water, and had been say 4 feet off shore, that the gator would have left him alone? Maybe he would have, but I don't think it's possible to say it definitely wouldn't have attacked. Gators have legs, they can run very fast. And let's not forget, NOTHING like this has ever happened on Disney property in the 45 years they have been in business. And they might be in business another 100 years and it may never happen again. Yes Florida has alligators, yes you need to be cautious of them, but I don't think anyone was sitting on that beach during family movie, thinking of an escape plan should an alligator attack...or thinking that an alligator could even be in those waters. Who knows how long that gator was stalking that boy. They lie in wait, perfectly still until they strike. It was a freak accident, and likely nothing the parents did or didn't do would have created a different outcome.
During our time in Florida I was even hoping to see one (from a distance of course). As we rode the bus each day from the resort to the parks, I'd watch along the roadside near the woods/swamps, and the night we went out in the boat to watch the fireworks, our tour guide even shined his light on one on the banks, and I was disappointed that I couldn't really see it. While on the Disney train at the Magic Kingdom, I was excited that I was pretty sure I saw the telltale bumps of a gator sticking out of the water, partially submerged. To be clear, this was on the other side of the tracks, from the park as we circled the park on the train. So there was a river or stream, a small berm, the railroad tracks, and then the park. If that was indeed a gator I saw, that was about 20 yards maybe, from the edge of the park. Twenty yards from the edge of the MAGIC KINGDOM. Does anybody walking around the Magic Kingdom think about the fact that there are likely gators on the outskirts, just 20 yards away? Maybe, maybe not, but I sure as hell can guarantee that nobody is worried about being attacked by one while walking around the park.
Had that happened, had the boy been attacked and dragged away while in the park, would anyone be blaming the parents? Like I said, no I likely would not have gotten too close to the waters edge on that beach because I am scared of everything, but if I were sitting 20 feet from the beach, watching a movie with a slew of other people, on a Disney resort, I am certain I would not be thinking about the possibility of a gator coming out of the water and snatching a small child.
We stayed at The Art of Imagination, and our room was quite a walk from the main part of the resort. There was a lot of vegetation around, and not always a lot of people depending on what time it was. There was a lagoon not far from our rooms, maybe a quarter mile, maybe less, I don't know I am not good with estimating distance. But it is very possible that an alligator could have been lurking somewhere near our room. People find them on their doorsteps and in their pools, so why couldn't one be hanging around behind a bush, a stone's throw away from our room? Hell, I would venture to guess it isn't even impossible for one to show up in the resort's swimming pool. It's probably not likely since I would assume the gates are locked at night, and workers are cleaning around the pool, testing the water, etc before guests are allowed in each morning. But things slip through cracks, people make mistakes, gates get left open. The pool near our room was pretty big, but it wasn't even the biggest pool there. I think it is possible for a gator to be at the bottom of one end, and go unnoticed by a worker at the other end.
Despite the fact that I am afraid of everything, was a gator being in the pool something I worried about when I took my daughter swimming? No, not at all. It wasn't even a thought in my head. At someone's home pool in Florida? Yeah, I would probably think about it. When I first met my husband, I was planning on eventually moving to Florida with him because he had a job lined up to build gator cages around peoples' pools. But a pool at a Disney World Resort? Nope, not at all. This family wasn't near a swamp, they weren't vacationing in the Everglades. They were enjoying an evening as a family, watching a movie and their baby was ripped away from them by a dangerous, wild animal on a Disney Resort. It makes me sick that anyone can even begin to blame the parents.
Letting your child play in traffic? Yes, bad parent. Leaving your two year old home alone? Yes, bad parent. Not putting your child in a car seat while driving? Yes, bad parent. Letting your child walk in the water of a man-made lagoon on a Disney resort? No, not a bad parent. Not even a little bit. There is no way they could have foreseen this, or even imagined this would happen in their wildest dreams. It was a freak accident, and it could have happened had the child been completely out of the water, four feet off short, or even walking down the lit path of the resort somewhat near the lagoon. These parents are experiencing the worst pain of the entire lives, and these assholes judging them, and acting like it was deserved because they decided they weren't watching their kid well enough are heartless. Would they say this to a family member, or even a neighbor? Would they say this to an acquaintance....sorry your kid died, I'm heartbroken for you, but you really shouldn't have been in the water?
Saying this will not bring the kid back, nor will it save anyone else because this was such a remote, freak thing it will likely never even happen again. I can only hope and pray that the child's death was quick and he didn't suffer too much. As for the parents, I cannot say I hope they find comfort or peace, because they won't. It's impossible. They will mourn their sweet boy for the rest of their lives, and they will re-live this nightmare every single day. I honest to God have no idea how they will go on, or even breathe again. Losing a child is the most horrible thing that can happen to someone, but seeing it happen, seeing this monster rip your baby from you, knowing your child's last moments on earth were filled with fear and pain....my heart hurts for them, and I am so angry for them. I don't know them, before yesterday I did not know this family existed. But today I wish I could somehow take away their pain, or comfort them in some way. I can only hope that they can feel some of the love and support from complete strangers all over the world, and know that their pain is our pain, and that we are grieving with them, and thinking of them and their beautiful baby boy and their daughter.
Monday, June 6, 2016
Poop, and the F word
Well, we've been so busy lately I haven't had time to update. So going in the potty is still going great. We made it to 10 days straight with no accident, which I think is pretty good. I think it was right after we walked to and from the grocery store. It's about a 30 minute walk each way, but I needed to go for a walk and grocery shop so I figured I'd combine the two. So we walked there, did about 15-20 minutes of shopping and then walked home. As soon as we got home I let her play in the backyard while I put groceries away. When I was done I went out to find a big wet spot on the concrete. I don't know if she was calling to me that she had to go and I didn't hear her, or if she was just too excited to be outside. Oh well.
When we went up north a week ago, she had a couple accidents, but I think they coincided with pooping. Aside from the one time she pooped at Nana's house (I think she sat down to pee and just coincidentally had to poop as well) and once when she begged to get her diaper off to poop, she has been having a hard time telling me she has to poop, and just goes in her pants. I'm not sure if pooping on the potty still freaks her out, or if she has to go too bad before she can tell me or what...but I think issues with pooping in the potty are pretty common for new potty users.
The one day we were getting ready to go for a bike ride, and it had already taken forever because I had to assemble the bike trailer, hook it up to the bike, and air up all the tires. I was just about ready to put her in the trailer when she said pee pee. Our yard is completely private, so I figured eh, this one time can't hurt, so I went to pull down her pants so she could pee outside....and I stuck my hand in poop! She doesn't tell me she has to poop, she says pee pee, and as in this case, it's usually once she has already went.
So I had her walk quickly through the deck (since the dog was out on the deck) to get in the house to clean her up. When she poops her pants she complains that there are "balls" (poop balls, haha) in her pants. So we get to the bathroom, but the poop ball that was hanging out of her pants was gone. Great, I figured it dropped off in the house somewhere, but I couldn't find it. Yep, it fell off outside, the dog ate it. ACK! As if eating her own poop isn't bad enough, she has to eat the baby's poop too. Dogs are vile creatures. So we get her all cleaned up and off we go. It was a good ride, our first of the season, and she will actually wear her helmet now. Except, once I put the netting up over her on the trailer, her helmet is right against the netting so she has troubles lifting her head against it. So the entire ride she had to look down at her feet. Not very enjoyable.
So for the second lap around the neighborhood I took her helmet off. Our city has no laws about helmets, she's in the trailer, I am very diligent about looking for traffic, we ride on the sidewalk, and even if my bike fell over, the trailer stays upright, so I am not too worried about it. Maybe next time I won't put the netting up at all, it shouldn't be that windy for her, and I would like her to get used to having to wear it all the time.
On our way up north last weekend I wasn't sure about what to do about the potty for the drive. It's a 3.5 hour drive, and I was fine with stopping so she could potty, but she often falls asleep for most of it and I was worried about her wetting her seat in her sleep. So I just put a pull up on her, but she never went in it. She didn't sleep that much, and when we stopped for food I had her try to potty and she did! She amazes me every day. You just don't know how much I was dreading potty training and I am so happy she is doing so well. I got a fold-able potty seat from Amazon to use when we're out in public. She often has trouble going on commercial toilets because they're so big, she's afraid she'll fall in. But this thing is great, it folds up to about 5X5 inches, and comes in a rubber bag. It fits right in my diaper bag so we always have it. Best purchase ever.
I think we made a break through with poop today. The good news is, without even telling me she had to, she went to the potty and pooped all on her own. The bad news is, when she came to me needing help putting her underwear back on, I didn't realize she had pooped so I sat her poopy butt on my bare knee. Yuck. But, what's a little poop on your knee while you're eating lunch, compared to your kid pooping in the potty all on her own! I was very excited. And, I guess it was better that I had shorts on instead of getting poop on my pants.
Another unseen perk of being potty trained....without the bulk of a diaper, last summer's shorts still fit her. She has several pairs of 12 month shorts, and they still fit her perfectly now that she wears underwear. Win win!
Lately I have noticed she has been getting a little lazy with her speech. She has a huge vocabulary, and she says many words crystal clear, and she is starting to link two words together, but she isn't speaking in sentences yet, and quite often will just say one word to tell me what she wants. Like she'll say milk, or night night, or ath (bath). So I am trying to get her to add to that some, like mommy milk please, or take an ath. Whenever I am eating something she wants, she comes up to me with her mouth open and says ahhhh. It's so cute, like a baby bird, but with her vocabulary she really should be speaking more in sentences, so I've taught her to say bite please. She sometimes forgets from one day to the next, but if I remind her once, she will usually say it for each bite she comes to me for after that.
I know some kids aren't even speaking very much at this age, but still, I know she can speak in more complete sentences, so there isn't any reason why she can't if I just encourage her more. What is cute and isn't a problem at 2, can easily turn into a big problem at 3 and 4. Speaking of speaking, she has become rather fond of the word fuck and fucking lately. We tried to just ignore it, but in her toddler wisdom, she still somehow knows it is a naughty word, and therefore enjoys saying it. The other day I forgot we were watching American Pie on HBO and would therefore have cuss words. She perfectly imitated the one kid by throwing her arms up in the air and repeating "fuckers"!
I am trying really hard to not say bad words, but I know I am not succeeding all the time, but her daddy is really bad. We'll continue to try to keep her from hearing cuss words, but today I decided to start time-out for saying it. I firmly believe that while we should limit how much she hears the words, she also needs to learn that some words are not appropriate for her to say, and just because she hears an adult say them, doesn't mean she gets to. So the first time-out was short, just to get her attention that saying the word will result in time-out. When she said it a little while later, I put her back in time- out. She kept asking for a kiss (little stinker) but I kept saying no, not until after time-out. Finally she made it to 30 seconds without interruption.
I really don't get how kids learn so quickly how to manipulate. I've noticed she claims she has to pee pee whenever I make her do something she doesn't want to do, and she knows I cannot not believe her, because one of these times she will really have to go, and not just crying pee. But tonight, she mistakenly claimed she had to pee pee the second I put her in time-out for the second time. It was a gamble, but I decided to call her bluff. Man, we really need to forget about Trump, Clinton, and Sanders and just elect a toddler as president. They're slick, conniving and play dirty, all the qualities of a president right?
Ever since we were up north her sleep schedule has been all messed up. Unless I have to get up for something specific, I just let her wake me up. Well the past week or so we've been sleeping till 9:30 or later; today we didn't get up until 11:30! But she's been going to bed late each night too, I put her down at 8 like usual but she often doesn't fall asleep until 10 or 11. When we were up north, we stayed up late most nights and some of the days she didn't get a nap, but she was still waking up at normal time, so I guess she is trying to catch up on sleep. I don't have to leave the house till 11 tomorrow, but I'll try to get us up at 8 just to try to get back on schedule.
So when she gets up so late, I don't put her down for nap at 1, and like today I was going to just keep her up all day so she could go to sleep at the usual time. But today around 5pm she crawled up in my lap, leaned back, put her hands behind her head and fell asleep. I cannot say I minded though, I love when she snuggles with me. She slept on me last week too, and she fell asleep on my dad when we were up north, but he had to go do something so he put her in my arms and we got to snuggle for 2 hours. I miss my daily naps with her.
Work is still going great, I haven't had to commute in a couple weeks, it's been nice. But tomorrow I have to go to this mandatory training class. I was kind of annoyed about it, because it deals with clinical stuff, and I do not do any of that, so why do I have to go? But the main reason I don't want to go is it's a 3 hour class, and there is no prior registration, so you have to get there super early to hopefully be one of the first 50 to get in. This sucks, but I have a pretty wide open schedule, I don't have to work at any certain time and it's pretty easy for me to get a sitter. But this is still a pain in the butt for me, so I cannot imagine for someone who has time constraints, to set aside time to have to go to this, not knowing if they'll be able to get in or not. I don't see why they can't do registration, but tell people who could not get in the class to show up anyway in case one of the registered doesn't show. Then they shouldn't have to deal with running classes for less than 50 people. Hopefully being there an hour before hand is enough time to be one of the 50. But the silver lining is, I discovered this place is right down the road from our favorite sushi restaurant, so I'm going to get carry out for dinner. Hmmm, and we were just talking today about cutting down on our restaurant expenses. Oh well, I just cannot be 50 yards away and not get food from there.
Then Thursday my boss wants me to come to her house so I can meet the other new girl. I kind of don't want to, but I have a doctor appt that morning anyway that I need a sitter for so I can talk with my doctor in peace. So at least it will be worth the while to get a sitter since my stepmom can just watch her all afternoon too while I'm at work. My boss also said I can go up to 15 hours some weeks if I feel like I have too much work to do. Since I will be spending 7.5 hours this week commuting and at class, I will definitely need to take advantage of working up to 15 to get the rest of my work done. It's always nice to have a bigger paycheck!
When we went up north a week ago, she had a couple accidents, but I think they coincided with pooping. Aside from the one time she pooped at Nana's house (I think she sat down to pee and just coincidentally had to poop as well) and once when she begged to get her diaper off to poop, she has been having a hard time telling me she has to poop, and just goes in her pants. I'm not sure if pooping on the potty still freaks her out, or if she has to go too bad before she can tell me or what...but I think issues with pooping in the potty are pretty common for new potty users.
The one day we were getting ready to go for a bike ride, and it had already taken forever because I had to assemble the bike trailer, hook it up to the bike, and air up all the tires. I was just about ready to put her in the trailer when she said pee pee. Our yard is completely private, so I figured eh, this one time can't hurt, so I went to pull down her pants so she could pee outside....and I stuck my hand in poop! She doesn't tell me she has to poop, she says pee pee, and as in this case, it's usually once she has already went.
So I had her walk quickly through the deck (since the dog was out on the deck) to get in the house to clean her up. When she poops her pants she complains that there are "balls" (poop balls, haha) in her pants. So we get to the bathroom, but the poop ball that was hanging out of her pants was gone. Great, I figured it dropped off in the house somewhere, but I couldn't find it. Yep, it fell off outside, the dog ate it. ACK! As if eating her own poop isn't bad enough, she has to eat the baby's poop too. Dogs are vile creatures. So we get her all cleaned up and off we go. It was a good ride, our first of the season, and she will actually wear her helmet now. Except, once I put the netting up over her on the trailer, her helmet is right against the netting so she has troubles lifting her head against it. So the entire ride she had to look down at her feet. Not very enjoyable.
So for the second lap around the neighborhood I took her helmet off. Our city has no laws about helmets, she's in the trailer, I am very diligent about looking for traffic, we ride on the sidewalk, and even if my bike fell over, the trailer stays upright, so I am not too worried about it. Maybe next time I won't put the netting up at all, it shouldn't be that windy for her, and I would like her to get used to having to wear it all the time.
On our way up north last weekend I wasn't sure about what to do about the potty for the drive. It's a 3.5 hour drive, and I was fine with stopping so she could potty, but she often falls asleep for most of it and I was worried about her wetting her seat in her sleep. So I just put a pull up on her, but she never went in it. She didn't sleep that much, and when we stopped for food I had her try to potty and she did! She amazes me every day. You just don't know how much I was dreading potty training and I am so happy she is doing so well. I got a fold-able potty seat from Amazon to use when we're out in public. She often has trouble going on commercial toilets because they're so big, she's afraid she'll fall in. But this thing is great, it folds up to about 5X5 inches, and comes in a rubber bag. It fits right in my diaper bag so we always have it. Best purchase ever.
I think we made a break through with poop today. The good news is, without even telling me she had to, she went to the potty and pooped all on her own. The bad news is, when she came to me needing help putting her underwear back on, I didn't realize she had pooped so I sat her poopy butt on my bare knee. Yuck. But, what's a little poop on your knee while you're eating lunch, compared to your kid pooping in the potty all on her own! I was very excited. And, I guess it was better that I had shorts on instead of getting poop on my pants.
Another unseen perk of being potty trained....without the bulk of a diaper, last summer's shorts still fit her. She has several pairs of 12 month shorts, and they still fit her perfectly now that she wears underwear. Win win!
Lately I have noticed she has been getting a little lazy with her speech. She has a huge vocabulary, and she says many words crystal clear, and she is starting to link two words together, but she isn't speaking in sentences yet, and quite often will just say one word to tell me what she wants. Like she'll say milk, or night night, or ath (bath). So I am trying to get her to add to that some, like mommy milk please, or take an ath. Whenever I am eating something she wants, she comes up to me with her mouth open and says ahhhh. It's so cute, like a baby bird, but with her vocabulary she really should be speaking more in sentences, so I've taught her to say bite please. She sometimes forgets from one day to the next, but if I remind her once, she will usually say it for each bite she comes to me for after that.
I know some kids aren't even speaking very much at this age, but still, I know she can speak in more complete sentences, so there isn't any reason why she can't if I just encourage her more. What is cute and isn't a problem at 2, can easily turn into a big problem at 3 and 4. Speaking of speaking, she has become rather fond of the word fuck and fucking lately. We tried to just ignore it, but in her toddler wisdom, she still somehow knows it is a naughty word, and therefore enjoys saying it. The other day I forgot we were watching American Pie on HBO and would therefore have cuss words. She perfectly imitated the one kid by throwing her arms up in the air and repeating "fuckers"!
I am trying really hard to not say bad words, but I know I am not succeeding all the time, but her daddy is really bad. We'll continue to try to keep her from hearing cuss words, but today I decided to start time-out for saying it. I firmly believe that while we should limit how much she hears the words, she also needs to learn that some words are not appropriate for her to say, and just because she hears an adult say them, doesn't mean she gets to. So the first time-out was short, just to get her attention that saying the word will result in time-out. When she said it a little while later, I put her back in time- out. She kept asking for a kiss (little stinker) but I kept saying no, not until after time-out. Finally she made it to 30 seconds without interruption.
I really don't get how kids learn so quickly how to manipulate. I've noticed she claims she has to pee pee whenever I make her do something she doesn't want to do, and she knows I cannot not believe her, because one of these times she will really have to go, and not just crying pee. But tonight, she mistakenly claimed she had to pee pee the second I put her in time-out for the second time. It was a gamble, but I decided to call her bluff. Man, we really need to forget about Trump, Clinton, and Sanders and just elect a toddler as president. They're slick, conniving and play dirty, all the qualities of a president right?
Ever since we were up north her sleep schedule has been all messed up. Unless I have to get up for something specific, I just let her wake me up. Well the past week or so we've been sleeping till 9:30 or later; today we didn't get up until 11:30! But she's been going to bed late each night too, I put her down at 8 like usual but she often doesn't fall asleep until 10 or 11. When we were up north, we stayed up late most nights and some of the days she didn't get a nap, but she was still waking up at normal time, so I guess she is trying to catch up on sleep. I don't have to leave the house till 11 tomorrow, but I'll try to get us up at 8 just to try to get back on schedule.
So when she gets up so late, I don't put her down for nap at 1, and like today I was going to just keep her up all day so she could go to sleep at the usual time. But today around 5pm she crawled up in my lap, leaned back, put her hands behind her head and fell asleep. I cannot say I minded though, I love when she snuggles with me. She slept on me last week too, and she fell asleep on my dad when we were up north, but he had to go do something so he put her in my arms and we got to snuggle for 2 hours. I miss my daily naps with her.
Work is still going great, I haven't had to commute in a couple weeks, it's been nice. But tomorrow I have to go to this mandatory training class. I was kind of annoyed about it, because it deals with clinical stuff, and I do not do any of that, so why do I have to go? But the main reason I don't want to go is it's a 3 hour class, and there is no prior registration, so you have to get there super early to hopefully be one of the first 50 to get in. This sucks, but I have a pretty wide open schedule, I don't have to work at any certain time and it's pretty easy for me to get a sitter. But this is still a pain in the butt for me, so I cannot imagine for someone who has time constraints, to set aside time to have to go to this, not knowing if they'll be able to get in or not. I don't see why they can't do registration, but tell people who could not get in the class to show up anyway in case one of the registered doesn't show. Then they shouldn't have to deal with running classes for less than 50 people. Hopefully being there an hour before hand is enough time to be one of the 50. But the silver lining is, I discovered this place is right down the road from our favorite sushi restaurant, so I'm going to get carry out for dinner. Hmmm, and we were just talking today about cutting down on our restaurant expenses. Oh well, I just cannot be 50 yards away and not get food from there.
Then Thursday my boss wants me to come to her house so I can meet the other new girl. I kind of don't want to, but I have a doctor appt that morning anyway that I need a sitter for so I can talk with my doctor in peace. So at least it will be worth the while to get a sitter since my stepmom can just watch her all afternoon too while I'm at work. My boss also said I can go up to 15 hours some weeks if I feel like I have too much work to do. Since I will be spending 7.5 hours this week commuting and at class, I will definitely need to take advantage of working up to 15 to get the rest of my work done. It's always nice to have a bigger paycheck!
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