A couple weeks ago, right before Halloween a little boy in our city was chasing his dog that got out, running into a busy 5 lane road. Sadly, both the boy and his dog were hit by a car and killed. Being so close, the story resonated with us. The little blonde boy reminded us of our nephew who is the same age and it took my husband back to his accident a few months ago where he hit a pedestrian. Luckily that man was ok save for some bumps and bruises, but it still really shook my husband up and he still thinks of it all every single day, and probably will for a long time.
We grieved for that little boy, his dog, and their family. But also for the lady that hit them. Witnesses say she was very upset, screaming "what have I done" at the accident scene. It was an accident though. It was dark, and the speed limit on that road is around 40 or 45. Sadly it is very likely that the little boy knew the dangers of running into the road. The dog got out of their house, so it sounds like they lived pretty close to the road, so he likely had been taught road safety. But worried about his best friend, it is understandable why he just reacted, and followed his dog into the road.
The story was on both local and tri-state area news for that whole week, showing a heartbreaking picture of the little boy and his dog snoozing on the couch. Being that I am no stranger to grief, I tend to get sucked into stories like these, feeling for how the family must have been feeling. Thinking about how they were probably thinking, this time two days ago my son was still alive, or this time a week ago, we had no idea what was about to happen. It's thoughts like that that haunt me, because you never know when that last hug, that last kiss, that last "I love you" will be. Days, hours, and just mere minutes before, we have no idea the pain that is about to take place.
The following Saturday, I was aware of the fact that it had been one week since it happened. Recently our city's fire station relocated not too far from our house. The night of the accident, it was unseasonably warm so my husband had the front door open, and he said the wails from all the sirens speeding to the scene of the accident was deafening, and he knew it must have been very bad for all those trucks to be responding. Eerily, that following Saturday night, at just a few minutes till 8pm, almost the exact moment the little boy was hit, we again had our door open due to the nice weather, and just then we heard sirens again. I never did find out what accident or incident they were headed to, but it just made us that much more sad, hearing the sirens at almost the exact same time.
Within hours of the accident, a Go Fund Me was set up. I usually hate Go Fund Me. In many cases, such as this one, the tragic incident just barely happened and there is the Go Fund Me popping up. I know funerals are expensive, but it just kills me to think...who is thinking about money in a time like this? I hate how common place they have become. Nobody expects to pay for their loved ones funeral anymore, they just set up a Go Fund Me and expect others to pay. It's the entitled aspect I don't like. Bad things happen all the time, people die all the time. The idea of asking for strangers to pay for your loved one's funeral, just because they died, you know, like every other person on this planet one day will, makes me insane.
It also infuriates me how many people flock to donate, just because a story was in the news. I get it somewhat....I didn't know this little boy, and tons of other children like him are sadly killed or die every day, every hour. But there are soooo many causes and tragedies out there. If you're going to donate to something and you see that they have raised more than enough money, then spread your charity out and donate elsewhere. Donations are great, selfless giving is amazing, but ONE person does not need all the donations in the world. There are so many others who are deserving too.
Because he was a child, and losing a child is something I can at least relate to, I can somewhat understand the Go Fund Me in this situation. Nobody is prepared for the loss of a child. Nobody thinks they have to save money for their child's funeral. The pain and devastation this family is going through is beyond words, I am so happy they don't have to add the financial strain of trying to pay for the funeral themselves. We were lucky, we had parents who were capable and more than willing to pay for much of the funeral arrangements and head stone for Kayla, and some other family members gave us money as well. But I cannot imagine asking anyone, much less strangers, to pay for it.
Not surprisingly, the account grew very quickly, and had surpassed the $11,000 goal very quickly. But it kept growing. I am glad they raised enough to pay for the funeral, and it would be nice if they got some money to help cover lost wages as they would surely need to take a lot of time off work. No company is able to offer the amount of time you really need after a tragedy like this. But after just another day or two, the fund had reached $26,000, plus a local coffee shop had donated 50% of a day's sales which I think amounted to about $4000, a lot of local businesses donated food and drinks for the luncheon afterward, and someone else donated the cremation services for the dog. So when all was said and done, they probably had about $33,000 worth in monetary and goods donations.
I don't know if I sound like I am jealous or bitter or hateful. I hope none of the above. It just baffles me that the average person probably doesn't donate much of anything, and then boom, a big story like this comes alone that rocks the community and people go crazy donating. I am not saying this family didn't deserve it, but sadly he was just one little boy that died. Many others die every day and do not get any help because their tragedy didn't make it in the news. Many other families struggle to make ends meet, to pay the funeral costs, to make up wages lost from taking time off work, and financial troubles is probably one of the contributing factors that leads to a couple divorcing in tragedies like these.
I am glad the funeral was covered and possibly some time off work as well, and perhaps some would argue that people donated that money knowing full well that they had more than enough, and chose to donate it anyway so it is theirs to do with as they please. But it kills me to think that in cases like these, once the services are paid for, people are buying new shoes and clothes and other non necessities on money that was donated to them because their child died. And any parent knows, the money does not take away the pain and it does not bring their child back.
So I was very amazed to hear that not only did the family turn off the Go Fund Me when it hit $26,000 (imagine what it would have eventually climbed to if left on) they also announced that anything left over after the funeral expenses were paid for would be donated to the Tears Foundations, which is the organization that we walk for Kayla with each year, they raise money to help pay for children's funerals. To say I am proud of that family sounds condescending, but I am. They were just days into their new reality, the most painful thing they would ever go through. Not only did they clearly appreciate and were overwhelmed by the outpouring of love from the community, they recognized that they did not need all of that money and keeping it just wouldn't be right. They recognized that lots of other families were going through the same pain but were not able to get that kind of help with the costs. The community was there for them when they needed to lay their sweet boy to rest, so they wanted to pay it forward to other families in the same situation, that maybe wouldn't get the media coverage they got. That to me is amazing. Just when I think the world is going to hell, I realize people like this exist in the world. People who are facing the most horrific pain a parent can experience, and still think of others. Rest in peace little man.
