Sunday, July 26, 2015

16 months

Oops, looks like I missed 16 months, which Em turned last Sunday.  I kept forgetting to weigh her so I ended up doing it on a day that she had already eaten and I didn't feel like taking off her clothes, so I estimate she is about 20.5 pounds.  I cannot find where I wrote down last month, but I think it is about the same, give or take a few ounces.  I think she is also the same length.  My little petite girl.

 It's so amazing to me to watch how often and quickly she changes right before my eyes.  I noticed the other day at my MIL's that she was taking one big step between the ottoman and the couch and not holding on while doing it.  Since then she has taken several steps along the couch without holding on.  She mostly lunges or walks really fast and then crashed into the couch, but it's progress.  A month ago she wouldn't let go for anything.  I think walking independently is coming very soon.

She's also just discovered how much fun bath time is.  She has never disliked baths except when she was a newborn and was too cold, but last nights bath she had so much fun playing with her toys and splashing.  She cried anytime I had to wash her and she wasn't able to play, and then she screamed for 10 minutes when it was time to come out.  I even let her have more time than usual and had to add more hot water since it was getting cold, but it still wasn't enough time.

Since she isn't walking yet or playing outside, she doesn't get real dirty so we're not on a strict bath schedule, she just gets one when she needs one.  Plus she goes to bed so easily most nights I haven't felt the need to make it part of her bedtime routine.  But now that she loves them so much I might start giving her a bath every night so she can play and make it a get clean/playtime bath every other day or so.

We're in the beginning stages of planning our Disney trip with my husband's family for next winter.  I am so excited!  I feel a little silly for taking Em when she will only be almost two, but I know my SIL and her family won't be going again, so this is just as much a fun trip with the whole family as it is a trip to Disney.  It will be nice to be there with other people so that if I want to go do something that my husband doesn't, we'll have a big enough group that likely someone else will want to do it too, and with my MIL and FIL there, they are happy to babysit so Ryan and I can go out for a nice dinner one night.  Plus Emily loves spending time with her cousins, and I know they will be glad to have her there too.

Besides, as much as I want to make memories she will remember as she gets older, there is still the fact that she'll have fun at the time.  Just because she may not remember much of it doesn't mean she doesn't feel joy right now, and can't experience the fun in the moment.  She's really starting to recognize favorite characters and understand a little more what she is watching.  Like the other day we were watching Ella Enchanted and she loved the scenes with the chipmunk.  She was glued to the TV whenever he was on and she would smile and laugh.  So in another 6 or 7 months she will be even more aware and enjoy it more.

And whose to say when kids can remember.  I turned 2 in May of 1981 and Princess Di married Prince Charles in July of that year, so I was not quite 26 months old at the time, and while the memories are hazy and in bits and pieces, I can clearly remember my mom waking me up super early when it was still dark out, watching the wedding on Tv and being enthralled with the idea of being a princess and her gorgeous dress with the long train, and my dad teasing us when he got home from work for getting up so early to watch a wedding on TV.

On the flip side, I was in the first grade when we went to Disney and I really do not remember much at all.  I vaguely remember the car ride, seeing horses in Tennessee and we did something in Georgia, I remember riding the tea cups, and I remember drawing sharks because I missed school for the week so my homework was to make a journal of what we did each day.  I am sure we were gone for at least a week, and that's all I can remember.

Besides, we'll likely go again when she is older and maybe that time we'll be a little more thrifty and drive instead of fly, and stay off the resort.  So this trip is more for us with the convenience of flying and staying in the resort and the fun of going with the whole family, and then when Emily is old enough to just be excited about going to Disney and not caring where we stay and how we get there, we'll do it for cheaper.  Since she won't be quite two yet, we still have the option of not buying her a plane seat and just putting her on our laps.

It seems crazy to pay for a seat when we don't have to, but I think we are going to anyway.  It's already stressful enough flying with my husband, he is a nervous flier and makes me crazy, and I am pretty stressed at the idea of flying with a kid.  It is a short flight, and I don't think it is a huge deal to keep her on our laps, but I don't want to risk there being a stranger in the row with us.  I'd rather spend a little money than being completely stressed and frazzled.  I'm making her a felt quiet book for the trip, so hopefully she will be content just sitting in her own seat and playing with her book.  

Saturday, July 11, 2015

My loves

I went to the grocery store today and since it is right across the street, I stopped at Kayla's grave.  I don't go every time, but this is often when I go.  I usually leave Emily in the car because of the hassle of unbuckling and re-buckling her in the seat, but I figured she is getting older, I want to start building her knowledge of her sister, so that she will always have known she has a sister in heaven, instead of one day just being knocked over with the news.

Her Nana had put a large pinwheel at her grave in the spring, and everything was still when we got there.  I kneeled down next to the grave, and like I have many times before, I told Emily that that is her big sister, and that she watches over her.  I told Kayla that we love her and miss her, and as it often happens, the wind picked up a little to spin the pinwheel.  I always feel like when the pinwheel spins, it's Kayla saying hello.  So as we got ready to go I blew a kiss and waved and asked Emily if she would too so she was blowing kisses and waving and then the wind really picked up and the pinwheel was spinning really fast.  It was a special moment.

Tonight I gave Emily a bath and afterward I was getting her ready for bed and brushing her hair when she just stood up, wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me the biggest hug.  Ah, two heart melting moments in one day from both of my girls <3

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Fourth of July

We had a great weekend.  As I said, we went to my family's place up north, our camper is currently parked on my dad's property, so it's nice to spend time with everyone but have our own space to go to.  We left Friday morning when my husband got home from work.  That was a packed car!  Our truck is in the shop so we had to take my SUV.  That normally wouldn't be a problem but Ryan puts on a huge firework show every year, so between fireworks, luggage, the car seat and the dog's crate, we used every inch of space.  We had to move Emily's car seat over to the passenger side so we could fit the dog.

Normally I am too scared to have her anywhere but the middle.  I know families with more than one kid have no choice, but as long as I do have a choice, she will be in the middle.  But I figured since we were mostly doing freeway driving, the chances of a side impact crash were lower than driving around town, so I was pretty ok with it.  But I certainly moved it back to the middle as soon as we got home.  The dog was good, she is a great traveler.  She barely made a peep on the way there and back, and she pottied nicely at the rest areas.  The first time we stopped I went in to buy her some water and I came out to find a crowd around, playing with her and watching her.

She liked my stepmom's dog Baby, but Baby wasn't as fond of her.  We mostly kept her on my dad's deck which is secure since she is still too afraid to go up and down a lot of stairs, or we chained her to a long chain so she could run around on the grass.  I wished we could have let her off leash like Baby was, but we have no clue if she would run out into the road, so until we're absolutely sure (not sure I ever will be) she'll have to be chained.  She wasn't in the house much, but when she was she didn't potty.  And the last few days she has been jumping at the door to be let out, so we are finally making some progress on potty training.

I love the fourth of July for the fireworks, BBQ's and time with family, but it is also a special holiday to us since two years ago on the fourth was when we found out I was pregnant with Emily.  So it's nice to be able to celebrate the day with fun stuff every year.  When we got there we just hung around, got unpacked and had lunch.  My dad and stepmom had fun playing with Emily.  They are very proud grandparents.  That evening we went into town for Mexican.  Emily had a bit of an attitude and kept trying to smack me and Grammy, but every time a stranger would walk by our table she would give them a huge smile.  She had a lot of fans at dinner that night.

My dad took her outside while we were paying and he said she was waving bub-bye and almost the whole restaurant was waving bye to her.  She charmed the pants off of those people.  She was up really late that night, my dad kept trying to get her to cuddle with him in the chair but she was like the energizer bunny, she just kept going and going.  Finally at midnight (4 hours after her bedtime!) I decided it was time.  So we went to the camper, I put her in the pack N play and she stood up and was being silly and running around.  I gave her a bottle and just ignored her, going to lay down myself.  A few minutes later I realized she was being quiet, I peaked around the corner and she was out.  I figured as soon as she finally stopped, she would just pass out.

The next morning we got up early and went to the beach for Ryan's 5K.  He did that run last year too.  It is a really nice run, he said the route is nice, and it's just so beautiful to be at the beach in the morning and the weather was perfect, not too hot and not too cold.  It's a very small run, so Em and I could sit on a bench right along where they start and finish.  Ryan had a new personal record, so that always adds to the fun of a run.  After that we went back to my dad's and had breakfast.  Ryan had to nap quite a bit that weekend because for the first time since he started his new job, his sleep schedule was all out of whack.  That afternoon my dad and stepmom went to the grocery and Emily was in need of a nap, so I took her to the camper.  Ryan was napping so I figured hell, we might as well all nap.

When we woke up Ryan's parents had just arrived, so then we visited with them and then they got Emily's pool ready that they brought for her.  My dad built a pergola a couple months back and he had some benches in there and that is where he hung Emily's swing.  I figured that was a nice shady spot to put the pool.  She loved it, she played in there for a while, and then when she was done we got dinner started.  My dad was making like a big stew and we invited family over for dinner and to watch the fireworks.  My FIL and my dad and Ryan went off on the deck and me and my stepmom and MIL stayed in the kitchen, talking and drinking wine.  When the family arrived, a few of my aunts joined us for wine, and then we went on the deck for the fireworks.

We had a pretty good turn out.....two uncles, three aunts, and a bunch of my cousins came.  Some of my cousins I hadn't seen in quite a while so it was cool that they made it.  Emily sat on Papa's lap during the fireworks.  I wasn't sure how she would like them since they would be so loud.  She was only three months old last year and stayed in the house with Grammy. but it turns out she loved it.  Some went off down the road before ours did and she frowned, wondering what it was.  But she didn't cry or fuss, and she kept looking for it to happen again so I knew she was intrigued.

Sometimes it is hard for her to sit still with someone, but she just sat on Papa's lap, content as could be and when there was a short lull in the show, she would clap as if saying come on daddy, more more.  The next day we were going to head to the beach but when we were ready to go, I came in to find Emily asleep on grandpa's lap.  I really had no desire to go to the beach without her, so my dad said we should head into town, do the shopping we wanted to and he would bring her down when she woke up.  We ended up going to two stores when he called saying he was on his way, so he dropped her off and then we went to the beach.  The one store is a children's store and they have a children's theater with puppet shows.  The next time we are in town I would love to take her to catch a show.  It is so cute in there, the whole theater room is painted with murals on the wall....it's like a fantasy room for kids.  In celebration of Shark Week, I bought Emily a book about sharks.

She wasn't such a fan of the water, it was only about 85 that day so the water was only 65.  It's a beautiful beach, but the Great Lakes are often very cold.  You either get lucky and the water is a little warmer, or it's just so hot outside that the cold water feels good.  That day, neither scenario applied.  So I took her out in the water and tried to set her down but she clung to me and wanted back up.  So I took her back to the shallow water and set her down, figuring maybe playing in the sand would be fun enough to not care how cold the water was.

Nope, her teeth were chattering and her whole body was shaking, so we took her back to the towel.  I went back in though.  I hate wearing a swim suit right now so I figured since I had gone to all that trouble, I was at least going in the water.  Usually once the shock wears off you can get used to it.  The shock did wear off a little, but it was still so cold it actually hurt.  So I went in up to my shoulders and called it good and went back to join everyone on the sand.  My aunt, her daughter-in-law and her granddaughter, and another aunt were there too so we hung out with them.  My dad had bought her a shovel and bucket set so she had a lot of fun playing in the sand.  That will have to be her next order for my dad's place, a sandbox to play in.

When we got back from the beach we packed up and hit the road.  It was a good weekend.  Unfortunately Ryan's pesticide license exam was today, so the weekend was a little stressful since he was anxious about the test and he had to find time to study.  It would have been nice if the test had been last week so we could have enjoyed the weekend more, but it was still good.  I'm happy to say that he passed it today, so no more stress!  It's such a relief, for me too.  I was nervous and anxious for him, and I also helped him study and spent several hours a day for a week or more making him flashcards and study guides, so it's like wow, I have all this free time now.  It reminds me of the amazing feeling that washed over me as I finished the presentation on my master's thesis....this is on a smaller scale of course, but relief nonetheless.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

missing her

I have a lot to write about from this weekend, but I am way too tired but I wanted to share a mommy moment I had today.  We went up north to my family's place for the 4th and today we went to the beach.  I took Emily into the bathroom to change her into her suit, and I had her stand up on the bench to put her bottoms on.

She is so good at walking while holding onto something and standing, but she is very uneasy trusting her own balance, so while I tried wiggling her suit on, she clung to my neck for balance.  I'd been going to that beach since I was a little kid, ever since I was born really, and nothing has changed.  The bathrooms, changing stalls, everything is as it was for the last 36 years.  And I realized as I was helping my daughter into her swim suit, my mom had done the very same thing in that very same spot with me.

I hadn't had a moment like this yet....I mean, I often think of my mom when I am taking care of Emily.  Wondering if she watches over us, wondering if she is proud of the mom I have become, and understanding some of the things my mom said and did when I could never ever understand them before I was a mom.  But this was the first time I did something that my mom did, in the very same spot.  Even in my parents' house, things look different now, new furniture, different layouts of the rooms, so this hadn't struck me until today.  It was both a very sad but very touching moment at the very same time.

I can remember exactly how it felt to cling to MY mom and how I used to make her stand in the doorway because back then the changing stalls didn't have doors or curtains (ok so one thing changed), I can remember her green bathing suit that she wore all the time, and how safe I felt in her arms and the wonderful memories I have of her.  I hope I am creating those same memories for my daughter.  I miss her <3

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

This kid cracks me up

I keep a vase and a stack of post it notes so I can write down happy, special moments in our family.  On new years eve, we read them all and then I write them into a journal.  Well this entry is a little long for a post it so I'll write about it in here.

It's pretty rare that Emily wakes in the middle of the night anymore, and when she does it is usually just for a few minutes and then she is out again.  Last night she woke around 3, and for a while she was content playing in her crib, but then she started to cry so I went in to get her.

After a minute of rocking her she decided she was fine and wanted to play so she wrigled out of my arms and got on the floor.  She grabbed her little toy car her daddy got her, started pushing it around on the floor making vroom noises.  If I've ever done that before, its only been once or twice.  So funny she knows that is what cars do.

Then she went to the basket I keep her shoes and overnight diapers in.  She tossed them all out and then started putting them back in one by one, and after every couple she would put her arms in the air and cheer.  I was just sitting in the glider at 3 am watching her and laughing.

When I decided it was time to go back to sleep, I wanted to give her some teething tablets; she's got a couple new teeth coming in so I thought it might help her sleep if they were bothering her.  But they weren't in the drawer, meaning they were yet another victim of Emily, the stuff that gets tossed overboard, between the wall and the changing table.  I specifically went out and bought a grabber thing just to retrieve all the crap she throws down there.  So I leaned over the table to look down the other side to see where the tablet bottle was.  Emily also leaned over, peering down there as well.  I could almost see her thinking, huh, I wonder how all that stuff got down there.  Love that kid, she makes me laugh everyday.