Boo passed with flying colors. At first I wasn't so sure, it was a good 5-10 minutes before she moved at all, and even then it was a "I think she just moved so I'll hit the button just in case". But around the 15 minutes mark she put on her party shoes.
For those that don't know, a non-stress test is used to measure her movements and her heartrate during those movements. Just as our heartrate increases when we run up the stairs, hers should increases with kicks and movements. So they hook me up to the monitor for at least 20 minutes so you can hear her heart thumping away, and whenever I feel a movement, I click a little button so they can measure what her heart rate did during those movements. The machine prints out her cardiac activity and every time I push the button it makes a little hash mark on the print out. In diabetics, the placenta could begin to deteriorate in late pregnancy, which is why they won't let me go past 39 weeks. So the NST wants to make sure her heart rate increases as it should, because if she didn't do well it could mean she isn't getting enough oxygen and there is an issue with the placenta, among other things.
I had to see the doctor today too, so about halfway though he came in and went over my chart, mostly doing paperwork but asking if I had any questions. I have a ton, but most of them I am more comfortable asking my more regular doctors. Well as soon as he walked in the room she went nuts; crazy movement, making lots of noise on the monitor, her hear rate went from the 150's to the 180's and 190's. A few times when he was doing paperwork and she was really active, he'd say ok ok, I hear you. Haha, he's nice, I like him.
So I won't have another growth scan till about 37 weeks. I was hoping to have one soon to see how big she is....but then again they can be off up to a pound or two either way so maybe it's better I don't know. A woman on my board had her twins last night, she is 3 days further than me and her babies were 4 something and 5 something. She posted pictures, and they look just like slightly smaller versions of regular outside babies. It was kind of crazy to know that Boo probably looks and weighs similar to them.
I keep picturing her as Kayla's size, and while Kayla looked just like a miniature newborn, she didn't have any baby fat and her skin was still quite transparent so you could see her blood through her skin. But right now Boo is a full 11 weeks further developed than Kayla was when she was born, it's just so weird to think of how big and outside-baby like she must be. So when the NST was done the nurse came in to check and she said oh that's perfect, we couldn't ask for better results! Whew...we have many more to go, but another victory under the belt.
So I start them twice weekly next week, but I don't go back for a regular appt for two weeks, so I guess I am still on the two week rotation. I was worried that the weeks I have a regular appt I would have to go three times, which would be really hard to get that much time off. But so far they're scheduling my regular appt along with one of my NSTs. The next two weeks, I go on Tuesdays and Fridays at 2:30, so I have to leave work at 2 on those days. That makes only 6 hours a week I have to make up, so I'll go in an hour early everyday, and one day a week I have to work through lunch. That's easy peasy. I actually like going in early....getting up one hour earlier really doesn't feel any different, the traffic is better that early, and it's nice to have the office to myself for at least half an hour before other people come in. After tomorrow I've got 6 weeks left of work, so that's a pretty sweet deal to get to leave at 2 pm every Tuesday and Friday.
So it looks like that stroller probably will work out. As I was putting it together I noticed the instructions gave two versions for most steps. So it's very poor wording, but I am thinking the bit about not accepting the carseat we're getting is aimed toward the other version of that stroller. But we'll know for sure when we get the carseat.
I was on my way home from the doctor today and suddenly got the overwhelming urge to throw up. Usually tums will squash it, but I don't even think tums would have done the job this time, and I didn't have any with me anyway. So I'm looking around, trying to figure out where to throw up. I finally managed to dump all of the garbage out of the insulated garbage bag I have in the car and was prepared to pull over. I fought it really hard, but thankfully after several minutes it finally passed. I haven't puked in several weeks, and I would have just given in but my shower is Saturday. I look weird for days after throwing up, all puffy faced and blotchy with broken blood vessels. I've already been struggling for the past week to clear up the zits, so I didn't want to deal with puke face too.
Well our plumbing is all done, so I am off to take a lovely shower with real water pressure!
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
If diabetes were a person.....32 wks 5 days
....I'd punch them in the face. Sunday was an interesting day. Despite feeling like I constantly am food shopping for snacks and meals, we had very little in the house to make healthy meals that day. We had some leftover mac and cheese, and some leftover chicken from my salad the night before. I had some salad ingrediants to make a fresh salad so I added the chicken, nuked the mac and cheese and was rather excited for my lunch.
Then, it happened. I stupidly attempted to balance my (paper, I might add) bowl on top of my can of diet pepsi to carry my food into the living room. Yep, you can guess what happened. Salad, meet sink. I had no more chicken to make another salad, and I couldn't just eat all carbs for lunch. So I cried. I cried a lot. I think about 15 minutes. My husband was downstairs but has headphones on when he's down there. I was above going down there, crying my eyes out for sympathy, but I was not above slamming things around and crying loudly to get his attention so he'd come up and give me sympathy. It didn't work. Those damn headphones are too good.
I swear I am not usually this pathetic, but I have just had it with this diet and it all came pouring out in a big snotty cry. So since my sympathy ploy wasn't working, I finally calmed down and ordered another salad from the pizza place.
Last night I picked up Arby's and got a turkey sandwhich with some sort of healthy looking but not so tasty bread. It was a big sandwhich so I only ate half, which is good because I later found out the whole thing was 76 grams of carbs. I also had a side salad. I take insulin before dinner, so generally I can be a little less strict with dinner. My bloodsugar.....124. Damn. Not too high, but above the cut off of 120 of course.
I knew it was risky to take the other half of sandwhich for lunch today since it was too high for dinner, but I didn't want to waste it, and I didn't feel like making anything else. So today I had the other half, and instead of a salad I had two small cucumbers. My bloodsugar,....106. What? Had it been off from the previous night by just a few points, I would assume one half of the sandwhich was a smidge bigger, but 18 points is a pretty big difference in my opinion. This is partly of why I hate diabetes so much. You can do everything right and still have high numbers, or you can totally blow it, and your numbers can be good. Like tonight, I had a portion of Dreamfields pasta which is healthy carb pasta, a table spoon of spaghetti sauce and a few ounces of chicken....128. Erg!
But the good news of the day, I was going over my paperwork today for my FMLA. I had requested for my last day of work to be March 14, so my leave will start on March 17th, but for some reason they put it in for Friday March 14th being my first day off. It's too big of a pain to resubmit, so as long as my boss is cool with it, I'll start my leave a day early. That works out well, so if I end up having to be induced that Monday, we'll have one more day to get ready and hopefully relax before our lives turn upside down....but in a good way.
Then, it happened. I stupidly attempted to balance my (paper, I might add) bowl on top of my can of diet pepsi to carry my food into the living room. Yep, you can guess what happened. Salad, meet sink. I had no more chicken to make another salad, and I couldn't just eat all carbs for lunch. So I cried. I cried a lot. I think about 15 minutes. My husband was downstairs but has headphones on when he's down there. I was above going down there, crying my eyes out for sympathy, but I was not above slamming things around and crying loudly to get his attention so he'd come up and give me sympathy. It didn't work. Those damn headphones are too good.
I swear I am not usually this pathetic, but I have just had it with this diet and it all came pouring out in a big snotty cry. So since my sympathy ploy wasn't working, I finally calmed down and ordered another salad from the pizza place.
Last night I picked up Arby's and got a turkey sandwhich with some sort of healthy looking but not so tasty bread. It was a big sandwhich so I only ate half, which is good because I later found out the whole thing was 76 grams of carbs. I also had a side salad. I take insulin before dinner, so generally I can be a little less strict with dinner. My bloodsugar.....124. Damn. Not too high, but above the cut off of 120 of course.
I knew it was risky to take the other half of sandwhich for lunch today since it was too high for dinner, but I didn't want to waste it, and I didn't feel like making anything else. So today I had the other half, and instead of a salad I had two small cucumbers. My bloodsugar,....106. What? Had it been off from the previous night by just a few points, I would assume one half of the sandwhich was a smidge bigger, but 18 points is a pretty big difference in my opinion. This is partly of why I hate diabetes so much. You can do everything right and still have high numbers, or you can totally blow it, and your numbers can be good. Like tonight, I had a portion of Dreamfields pasta which is healthy carb pasta, a table spoon of spaghetti sauce and a few ounces of chicken....128. Erg!
But the good news of the day, I was going over my paperwork today for my FMLA. I had requested for my last day of work to be March 14, so my leave will start on March 17th, but for some reason they put it in for Friday March 14th being my first day off. It's too big of a pain to resubmit, so as long as my boss is cool with it, I'll start my leave a day early. That works out well, so if I end up having to be induced that Monday, we'll have one more day to get ready and hopefully relax before our lives turn upside down....but in a good way.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Stroller-32 wks 4 days
My aunt bought us our light weight stroller and it arrived today. She's coming to the shower, but figured she'd just ship it so we have more room to bring other stuff home from the shower. I think I love it. I'm just nervous because I started to put it together and noticed in the manual it said "not for use with click connect car seats, only for classic connect". I was like awe damn, our car seat that comes with our travel system is a click connect.
So I whined to my dad about how we have to return it and now I don't know what to do about a lightweight stroller. We're getting the travel system with a jogger, which we're really excited about. We hope to do a lot of walking/jogging with Boo when she gets big enough, and even if we don't use it for that as much, it will be a great all-terrain stroller for stuff like the zoo, picnics, anywhere there might not be perfect sidewalk since it's got nice big rubber tires.
But, the jogger is way too big and bulky to be our everyday stroller for running errands and going to the mall and stuff. I was going to get the Graco stroller frame that the carseat clicks into for this purpose, but then realized I would have to buy yet another stroller once she outgrows the carseat since the stroller frame is obviously useless without the carseat.
So I was thrilled when I found this lightweight stroller which is perfect for everyday use, can have the carseat click in and can be used once she outgrows the carseat. Plus, it was only $65 vs the $100 stroller frame. I mean yeah we didn't buy it, but why make our family pay $100 when they can pay $65?
So the catseat not fitting is a major snafu. But, I went to the website and looked at it again, and it says in the description that all Graco carseats will fit, and someone asked the question, "will my snugride click connect carseat fit" and the answer was yes. I don't know why the manual would say it doesn't, but the website clearly says in two spots that it does.
So I took a gamble and put it together. I'm keeping the box and paperwork though until we get our carseat and can see if it fits or not. If not, we'll return it and then I don't know what to do. I really don't want to pay 35 more or a stroller frame that cannot be used as long. I probably shouldn't have put it together just in case, but I am a pregnant woman with baby stuff in her house. It's driving me insane that my husband hasn't put the crib together yet, and the dresser arrived today (yay) so that's another thing he needs to get done, preferably before my shower on Saturday so we can put stuff away when we bring it home. So the stroller was my baby to put together. Aside from the carseat question, I love it. I can't wait to use it.
So I whined to my dad about how we have to return it and now I don't know what to do about a lightweight stroller. We're getting the travel system with a jogger, which we're really excited about. We hope to do a lot of walking/jogging with Boo when she gets big enough, and even if we don't use it for that as much, it will be a great all-terrain stroller for stuff like the zoo, picnics, anywhere there might not be perfect sidewalk since it's got nice big rubber tires.
But, the jogger is way too big and bulky to be our everyday stroller for running errands and going to the mall and stuff. I was going to get the Graco stroller frame that the carseat clicks into for this purpose, but then realized I would have to buy yet another stroller once she outgrows the carseat since the stroller frame is obviously useless without the carseat.
So I was thrilled when I found this lightweight stroller which is perfect for everyday use, can have the carseat click in and can be used once she outgrows the carseat. Plus, it was only $65 vs the $100 stroller frame. I mean yeah we didn't buy it, but why make our family pay $100 when they can pay $65?
So the catseat not fitting is a major snafu. But, I went to the website and looked at it again, and it says in the description that all Graco carseats will fit, and someone asked the question, "will my snugride click connect carseat fit" and the answer was yes. I don't know why the manual would say it doesn't, but the website clearly says in two spots that it does.
So I took a gamble and put it together. I'm keeping the box and paperwork though until we get our carseat and can see if it fits or not. If not, we'll return it and then I don't know what to do. I really don't want to pay 35 more or a stroller frame that cannot be used as long. I probably shouldn't have put it together just in case, but I am a pregnant woman with baby stuff in her house. It's driving me insane that my husband hasn't put the crib together yet, and the dresser arrived today (yay) so that's another thing he needs to get done, preferably before my shower on Saturday so we can put stuff away when we bring it home. So the stroller was my baby to put together. Aside from the carseat question, I love it. I can't wait to use it.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Another snowy Saturday- 32 wks 2 days
As it has been doing in Michigan for weeks now, it's snowing again, and my husband is working. He'd rather I don't go out in it, but I need a prescription that I cannot go without for another day, so aside from a quick trip to Target, I'm quarantined to the house all day, so I think I'll get some cleaning done.
The house is a wreck; we've gotten a few presents in the past week and all of the shipping boxes are still laying around. The rug has a nice layer of cat fur and don't even get me started on the bathroom, yuck. Cleaning day it is. Plus we're having the house re-plumbed next week, so I should pretend like we're not disgusting people who cannot clean for a plumber to be here. I cannot wait for our plumbing. Our house never had great water pressure in the shower, but in the last few months it's gotten worse. We used to have a fancy shower head but had to get rid of it because it dispursed the already low pressured water over too big of a surface, so we had to get a little crappy one that centered all the water coming out in one small area; it kind of resembles the shower head you might find in a camper.
So they're coming next week to re-plumb with copper since our galvanized is corroded. We got all new fixures for the tub and sinks and I cannot wait to take a nice hot shower with real water pressure and a nice shower head. It will also be nice once Boo is big enough to take baths in the tub. Right now it takes so long to fill up the bathtub, I haven't taken a bath in a long time. It's just not worth the wait....plus I'm too scared to when pregnant. I like hot hot baths and I'm too scared it would raise my core temperature.
So speaking of being quarantined to the house, I enjoyed a very nice dinner out last night with my dad, stepmom, MIL, FIL, neice and my best friend to make final shower plans, and to order the food that we're having catered for the shower. I feel like aside from work I don't get out much anymore, and I hadn't seen my best friend in several weeks, and the food was delicious so it was just a really nice night. It was a long day at work looking forward to the diner.
My shower is next Saturday, just one more week! I'm so excited. I'm getting a mani and pedi next Friday and then Saturday morning I'm getting my hair cut. My stylist brings out all the layers and highlights when she blow dries my hair, so I always try to schedule my hair cut for days that I want to look nice and don't want to be bothered doing my hair. I'm excited to get dolled up and go to a great shower, especially since lately I seem to be setting a record with how many days I can go without washing my hair so I can sleep in later, and my yoga pants have been a valued staple in my wardrobe.
Yesterday marked 10 months since we lost Kayla. I cannot believe time has gone so quickly, and it will be a year just a few days after Boo is born. Where has the time gone? Mommy and daddy love you, sweet angel.
The house is a wreck; we've gotten a few presents in the past week and all of the shipping boxes are still laying around. The rug has a nice layer of cat fur and don't even get me started on the bathroom, yuck. Cleaning day it is. Plus we're having the house re-plumbed next week, so I should pretend like we're not disgusting people who cannot clean for a plumber to be here. I cannot wait for our plumbing. Our house never had great water pressure in the shower, but in the last few months it's gotten worse. We used to have a fancy shower head but had to get rid of it because it dispursed the already low pressured water over too big of a surface, so we had to get a little crappy one that centered all the water coming out in one small area; it kind of resembles the shower head you might find in a camper.
So they're coming next week to re-plumb with copper since our galvanized is corroded. We got all new fixures for the tub and sinks and I cannot wait to take a nice hot shower with real water pressure and a nice shower head. It will also be nice once Boo is big enough to take baths in the tub. Right now it takes so long to fill up the bathtub, I haven't taken a bath in a long time. It's just not worth the wait....plus I'm too scared to when pregnant. I like hot hot baths and I'm too scared it would raise my core temperature.
So speaking of being quarantined to the house, I enjoyed a very nice dinner out last night with my dad, stepmom, MIL, FIL, neice and my best friend to make final shower plans, and to order the food that we're having catered for the shower. I feel like aside from work I don't get out much anymore, and I hadn't seen my best friend in several weeks, and the food was delicious so it was just a really nice night. It was a long day at work looking forward to the diner.
My shower is next Saturday, just one more week! I'm so excited. I'm getting a mani and pedi next Friday and then Saturday morning I'm getting my hair cut. My stylist brings out all the layers and highlights when she blow dries my hair, so I always try to schedule my hair cut for days that I want to look nice and don't want to be bothered doing my hair. I'm excited to get dolled up and go to a great shower, especially since lately I seem to be setting a record with how many days I can go without washing my hair so I can sleep in later, and my yoga pants have been a valued staple in my wardrobe.
Yesterday marked 10 months since we lost Kayla. I cannot believe time has gone so quickly, and it will be a year just a few days after Boo is born. Where has the time gone? Mommy and daddy love you, sweet angel.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Laziness, food, and furniture, oh my!- 31 wks 6 days
I called off work today, I have no discipline anymore. I didn't sleep well, in the past few days, if I sleep on any one side long enough, my hips hurt and my legs get crampy. I know I am tired just about everyday, but today I just coudn't do it. I called in and went back to bed, despite another few hours of a fitful sleep.
Honestly I know once I got to work I would have been fine. Tired yes, but ok. But the idea of getting myself ready this morning was just exhausting. So I was supposed to go to the doctor tomorrow, but with calling out today, I felt bad about having to leave work at 2 tomorrow. So I called to reschedule and they'll get me in next Thursday along with my NST. I know I'll have to start weekly appointments eventually, but I just didn't see the point of going back again tomorrow when I was just in last week. If I were having a growth scan I would go of course, but it works out that I was able to reschedule for next week.
Speaking of growth scans, I wonder when I will have one again, I'll have to ask. My last one was at almost 27 weeks. They said I'll have one every 4-6 weeks. Tomorrow I'll be 32 weeks so it's been 5 weeks since I've had one, and I don't think they have me scheduled for one next week so I'll have to ask when my next one will be. I'm very curious how big she is now. Around 25 weeks I felt like I really popped and got bigger, but in the last few weeks I don't really feel like I've gotten much bigger and I haven't gained any weight. Well, I sort of have. Since my BFP I've been down 10 pounds....some weeks I flucuate up or down a pound, but I was pretty consistently 10 pounds down. But now I am more like 3-6 pounds down, so I guess since about 20 weeks I've gained about 5 pounds, but still below my starting weight.
I had a dream that she was 9 pounds already! Holy moly, that would be bad. Hopefully she's still on track. At my 27 week scan she was in the 50th percentile, perfect! Lately I've been planning all of the wonderful foods I plan to eat once Boo is here. Like I said, I want to get back on this diet and lose weight and reduce my chances of type 2 diabetes in the future, but let's be real. Once she's here, and I can get a break from the diet I've been on for the last 6 months, and since it will be diffcult at first to follow any sort of diet for at least the first few weeks while I am adjusting to motherhood, I plan to be a little less strict with what I eat. I hope to not go hog wild, I'd be pretty pissed if I made it 9 months without gaining any weight, and then gained a bunch after she's here.
So our first stop on the way home from the hospital will be McDonalds to get a Shamrock shake. I love them and obviously cannot have one with GD. I'm also thinking about packing a coupe cadbury eggs in my hospital bag. I loooove cadbury eggs. I'd like to have someone bring me Long John Silvers to the hospital for my first post partum meal, but I am not sure they'll let me. My FIL went and got that for me when I could finally eat after Kayla was born, but I kind of get the feeling I was given the star treatment then that I won't be receiving this time.
I love my hospital and they were all great, but given what we just went through, we were pretty much allowed to do anything we wanted. Visitors at 2am, no problem, 12 visitors at a time, no problem, greasy carby food brought in from the outside for a diabetic, no problem. But I am guessing we'll have to actually follow hospital rules this time. I know GD usually goes away after birth, but I doubt it's instantaneous and they'll probably want me to still eat relatively healthy. So if I have to eat GD friendly from the cafeteria, that's not the end of the world as long as I can sneak my cadbury eggs when the nurses aren't around and look forward to my shake.
I also want to go to Mrs. Field's at some point and get a chocolate toffey brownie. Last year after we lost Kayla, my friend sent a Mrs. Field's basket and that brownie was amongst the items. It was the last thing to be eaten because I didn't think toffey sounded good, but oh boy was I mistaken. It was one of my worst days home by myself on leave so I decided to give it a try. I intended to save half for Ryan, but I just couldn't stop, I ate the whole thing. Hands down, best brownie ever!
So we had a bit of a fiasco with Boo's dresser. We hadn't bought it yet because I thought maybe one of the grandparents would want to buy it, but I was stalking my registry the other day and it caught my eye. Since we registered for it, Amazon had been listing it for around $200. But now suddenly there was no price, but it said it was available from 2 sellers, one of them being a book seller (WTF?) for $650 and another called online toys for $950! What.the.hell. All of the other colors still showed the Amazon price of $200 except Espresso. I'm assuming that was their wonky way of saying it's out of stock, but why would a book seller be selling a baby dresser for 3 times the price is should be?
So I deleted it, I didn't want anyone trying to buy it for that price. I spent hours trying to find it on other sites, which I did at several places, but they all either didn't even show Espresso as an option, or it was out of stock. I finally found it at some online baby store, again out of stock, but it said to go ahead and order as it would be back in stock soon, so I went ahead and ordered it to make sure we'd get it. I was a little nervous still, but I just got an email today saying it shipped and will be here Monday, yay! Now my only worry is it seemed to get 50/50 good and bad reviews. But, I originally picked it because the good reviews said don't listen to the negative ones, it's a good dresser and it wasn't that hard to put together. I tent to believe those, because people in general are whiney and stupid, so I don't doubt that some of the bad ones were just from people that are dumb and don't know how to put furniture together. I warned my husband of this but he's not worried.
Putting the crib together is on his Honey-Do list, so I hope he does that soon so he can work on the dresser when it comes. I spent all weekend cleaning the last of the junk out of the nursery, vacuuming and shampooing the carpet. So its looking better, but obviously all the stuff in there is just piled against the wall. I can't wait until the furniture it set up and actually starts to look like a nursery!
Honestly I know once I got to work I would have been fine. Tired yes, but ok. But the idea of getting myself ready this morning was just exhausting. So I was supposed to go to the doctor tomorrow, but with calling out today, I felt bad about having to leave work at 2 tomorrow. So I called to reschedule and they'll get me in next Thursday along with my NST. I know I'll have to start weekly appointments eventually, but I just didn't see the point of going back again tomorrow when I was just in last week. If I were having a growth scan I would go of course, but it works out that I was able to reschedule for next week.
Speaking of growth scans, I wonder when I will have one again, I'll have to ask. My last one was at almost 27 weeks. They said I'll have one every 4-6 weeks. Tomorrow I'll be 32 weeks so it's been 5 weeks since I've had one, and I don't think they have me scheduled for one next week so I'll have to ask when my next one will be. I'm very curious how big she is now. Around 25 weeks I felt like I really popped and got bigger, but in the last few weeks I don't really feel like I've gotten much bigger and I haven't gained any weight. Well, I sort of have. Since my BFP I've been down 10 pounds....some weeks I flucuate up or down a pound, but I was pretty consistently 10 pounds down. But now I am more like 3-6 pounds down, so I guess since about 20 weeks I've gained about 5 pounds, but still below my starting weight.
I had a dream that she was 9 pounds already! Holy moly, that would be bad. Hopefully she's still on track. At my 27 week scan she was in the 50th percentile, perfect! Lately I've been planning all of the wonderful foods I plan to eat once Boo is here. Like I said, I want to get back on this diet and lose weight and reduce my chances of type 2 diabetes in the future, but let's be real. Once she's here, and I can get a break from the diet I've been on for the last 6 months, and since it will be diffcult at first to follow any sort of diet for at least the first few weeks while I am adjusting to motherhood, I plan to be a little less strict with what I eat. I hope to not go hog wild, I'd be pretty pissed if I made it 9 months without gaining any weight, and then gained a bunch after she's here.
So our first stop on the way home from the hospital will be McDonalds to get a Shamrock shake. I love them and obviously cannot have one with GD. I'm also thinking about packing a coupe cadbury eggs in my hospital bag. I loooove cadbury eggs. I'd like to have someone bring me Long John Silvers to the hospital for my first post partum meal, but I am not sure they'll let me. My FIL went and got that for me when I could finally eat after Kayla was born, but I kind of get the feeling I was given the star treatment then that I won't be receiving this time.
I love my hospital and they were all great, but given what we just went through, we were pretty much allowed to do anything we wanted. Visitors at 2am, no problem, 12 visitors at a time, no problem, greasy carby food brought in from the outside for a diabetic, no problem. But I am guessing we'll have to actually follow hospital rules this time. I know GD usually goes away after birth, but I doubt it's instantaneous and they'll probably want me to still eat relatively healthy. So if I have to eat GD friendly from the cafeteria, that's not the end of the world as long as I can sneak my cadbury eggs when the nurses aren't around and look forward to my shake.
I also want to go to Mrs. Field's at some point and get a chocolate toffey brownie. Last year after we lost Kayla, my friend sent a Mrs. Field's basket and that brownie was amongst the items. It was the last thing to be eaten because I didn't think toffey sounded good, but oh boy was I mistaken. It was one of my worst days home by myself on leave so I decided to give it a try. I intended to save half for Ryan, but I just couldn't stop, I ate the whole thing. Hands down, best brownie ever!
So we had a bit of a fiasco with Boo's dresser. We hadn't bought it yet because I thought maybe one of the grandparents would want to buy it, but I was stalking my registry the other day and it caught my eye. Since we registered for it, Amazon had been listing it for around $200. But now suddenly there was no price, but it said it was available from 2 sellers, one of them being a book seller (WTF?) for $650 and another called online toys for $950! What.the.hell. All of the other colors still showed the Amazon price of $200 except Espresso. I'm assuming that was their wonky way of saying it's out of stock, but why would a book seller be selling a baby dresser for 3 times the price is should be?
So I deleted it, I didn't want anyone trying to buy it for that price. I spent hours trying to find it on other sites, which I did at several places, but they all either didn't even show Espresso as an option, or it was out of stock. I finally found it at some online baby store, again out of stock, but it said to go ahead and order as it would be back in stock soon, so I went ahead and ordered it to make sure we'd get it. I was a little nervous still, but I just got an email today saying it shipped and will be here Monday, yay! Now my only worry is it seemed to get 50/50 good and bad reviews. But, I originally picked it because the good reviews said don't listen to the negative ones, it's a good dresser and it wasn't that hard to put together. I tent to believe those, because people in general are whiney and stupid, so I don't doubt that some of the bad ones were just from people that are dumb and don't know how to put furniture together. I warned my husband of this but he's not worried.
Putting the crib together is on his Honey-Do list, so I hope he does that soon so he can work on the dresser when it comes. I spent all weekend cleaning the last of the junk out of the nursery, vacuuming and shampooing the carpet. So its looking better, but obviously all the stuff in there is just piled against the wall. I can't wait until the furniture it set up and actually starts to look like a nursery!
Friday, January 17, 2014
Anxiety with a side of guilt- 31 wks 1 day
I've been a little MIA lately. Blogger no longer likes internet explorer which is what I use at work, and by the time I get home I am so exhausted I haven't been able to keep my eyes open to write. But it's Friday night of a three day weekend, pizza is on it's way (and a salad for me) and I'm feeling relatively awake.
So since I got past my milestone and Vday, I have been feeling pretty good. Much of my stress and pgal brain has lifted, but in the recent weeks it seems to have been replaced with guilt, which makes me anxious. My shower is in two weeks, which I am soooo excited for. I can't wait to see everyone, eat good food, see what people got for Boo and celebrate my girl. But that also makes me feel guilty. We've anticipated and celebrated her arrival in small doses since she came into being, but this is a whole afternoon, with the focus being on celebrating Boo....and it makes me feel guilty.
We never got to celebrate Kayla in a big way. I know it's just how it worked out, we definitely would have if things had turned out differently. But the guilt really hit me when I was making the picture poster for my shower. It won't let me post a picture, but at the top is a pic of Ryan and I, then a few of our baby pictures, and then several of Boo's ultrasound pics. The poster says, "First we had each other, then we had you, now we have everything".
I know I cannot incorporate Kayla into my every move of every day, but it feels like that poster completely ignores her. She was our everything, both of my daughters are my everything.....but Boo also deserves her day to shine. Ugh, being pgal, and soon pal (parenting after a loss) is so hard.
I also feel guilty when I complain about things. I'm starting to get really uncomfortable. I'm not sleeping well so I am tired all the time, even when I am physically awake I just feel blah and don't want to get up off the couch. At night I feel three times as big, just squating down to pick something up hurts (my knees!) and getting back up makes me out of breathe, my upper back is always tight and sore. And then the kicks....I liked them week 18ish through 25 or so....but now they're different. They don't hurt per se, but sometimes they just feel icky, especially when she goes crazy, or kicks low a lot.
Sometimes I just sit there and secretly wish she would mellow out a bit and give me some relief....but then once she stops kicking for a while, I freak out and plead with her to kick. I think to myself if she would just kick and let me know she is ok, I'll feel so much better and I'll never be annoyed with her kicks ever again. But sure enough once she starts her marathon kicking again, I am annoyed and it feels weird. It's an endless cycle.
I don't want to sound ungrateful, when I lost Kayla I would have taken all of this and more if it meant having her back. On the occasions I think of losing Boo, my heart hurts so bad I cannot even stand to imagine it. But I'm tired. I'm sore. Am I a horrible person for wanting my body back? I'm so over GD, I'm tired of hearing all of the things people get to eat; I'm tired of worrying about what I put into my mouth and how it affects Boo. For the most part my sugars are good and my doctors are happy, and I haven't gained any weight, but I still wonder, is it really well controlled? What if there is something I am missing and I am hurting her somehow? I want to get back into better shape and pretty much stay on this diet even once she's here, but right now I am tired of everything I do with my body affecting her as well.
If I want to splurge on a Friday night and eat a few slices of pizza, some breadsticks and pepsi, I want the worst thing to happen to be my diet gets set back one day and I maybe don't lose an extra half a pound, rather than constantly worry what it might do to Boo. I'm 31 weeks pregnant, but counting last year I've been pregnant now for 53 weeks with just a short break in between, and I still have 9 to go, with the worst of the discomfort and pain still ahead of me.
But I feel like I should not only be accepting of these things, I should welcome them with open arms, because it means my baby is here and alive, and I am a shitty mother for complaining about a few months of discomfort. I know there are plenty of women whose hearts are freshly broken right now, who would give anything to complain about their sore back and being winded getting off the couch, if it meant their babies were alive.
So that's where I am at, surrounded by a sea of guilt.
I went to the doctor yesterday, no ultrasound this time, a bit of a bummer. I was looking forward to seeing Boo and finding out how big she is now. But he checked my cervix and said all is well. I go back next week already, not sure if he's starting me on my weekly appts already, or if it's just due to scheduling, but the week after that I start my twice weekly NSTs. Ugh, twice weekly, that's going to be rough. If I am on weekly appts now, that means appts three times a week, or at the very least two appts every other week, and three on the other weeks.
I don't have enough sick time to cover my time off, so pretty much from now until I go on maternity leave, I'll have to not take any lunches and go into work an hour early everyday in order to make up 6-9 hours a week. The nurse said if I absolutely cannot make it on day, I could go after hours to L&D and have my NST done there. That's a good option for when I need it, but I don't feel right about going say, once a week. The beds and staff available are for women in labor or having difficulties. I don't feel right about taking up space on a regular basis for NSTs because I don't want to go during work hours.
On a fun note though, we've been getting several gifts lately. My mom's friend sent us one of those bundle me fleece covers for the car seat, some wash cloths and hooded towels. My two friends at work surprised me today with the bouncer, and Ryan's aunt and uncle sent us a willow tree figurine (New Life, the father is holding the baby and the mother is gazing upon him or her over dad's shoulder) a little rabbit "woobie" type thing and two crinkly fabric "books". All very cute, I love coming home and finding packages on my porch. Of course I kind of already know they're coming since I am......yes, I am a registry stalker. My husband hates that I do it, but I think it's fun.
So since I got past my milestone and Vday, I have been feeling pretty good. Much of my stress and pgal brain has lifted, but in the recent weeks it seems to have been replaced with guilt, which makes me anxious. My shower is in two weeks, which I am soooo excited for. I can't wait to see everyone, eat good food, see what people got for Boo and celebrate my girl. But that also makes me feel guilty. We've anticipated and celebrated her arrival in small doses since she came into being, but this is a whole afternoon, with the focus being on celebrating Boo....and it makes me feel guilty.
We never got to celebrate Kayla in a big way. I know it's just how it worked out, we definitely would have if things had turned out differently. But the guilt really hit me when I was making the picture poster for my shower. It won't let me post a picture, but at the top is a pic of Ryan and I, then a few of our baby pictures, and then several of Boo's ultrasound pics. The poster says, "First we had each other, then we had you, now we have everything".
I know I cannot incorporate Kayla into my every move of every day, but it feels like that poster completely ignores her. She was our everything, both of my daughters are my everything.....but Boo also deserves her day to shine. Ugh, being pgal, and soon pal (parenting after a loss) is so hard.
I also feel guilty when I complain about things. I'm starting to get really uncomfortable. I'm not sleeping well so I am tired all the time, even when I am physically awake I just feel blah and don't want to get up off the couch. At night I feel three times as big, just squating down to pick something up hurts (my knees!) and getting back up makes me out of breathe, my upper back is always tight and sore. And then the kicks....I liked them week 18ish through 25 or so....but now they're different. They don't hurt per se, but sometimes they just feel icky, especially when she goes crazy, or kicks low a lot.
Sometimes I just sit there and secretly wish she would mellow out a bit and give me some relief....but then once she stops kicking for a while, I freak out and plead with her to kick. I think to myself if she would just kick and let me know she is ok, I'll feel so much better and I'll never be annoyed with her kicks ever again. But sure enough once she starts her marathon kicking again, I am annoyed and it feels weird. It's an endless cycle.
I don't want to sound ungrateful, when I lost Kayla I would have taken all of this and more if it meant having her back. On the occasions I think of losing Boo, my heart hurts so bad I cannot even stand to imagine it. But I'm tired. I'm sore. Am I a horrible person for wanting my body back? I'm so over GD, I'm tired of hearing all of the things people get to eat; I'm tired of worrying about what I put into my mouth and how it affects Boo. For the most part my sugars are good and my doctors are happy, and I haven't gained any weight, but I still wonder, is it really well controlled? What if there is something I am missing and I am hurting her somehow? I want to get back into better shape and pretty much stay on this diet even once she's here, but right now I am tired of everything I do with my body affecting her as well.
If I want to splurge on a Friday night and eat a few slices of pizza, some breadsticks and pepsi, I want the worst thing to happen to be my diet gets set back one day and I maybe don't lose an extra half a pound, rather than constantly worry what it might do to Boo. I'm 31 weeks pregnant, but counting last year I've been pregnant now for 53 weeks with just a short break in between, and I still have 9 to go, with the worst of the discomfort and pain still ahead of me.
But I feel like I should not only be accepting of these things, I should welcome them with open arms, because it means my baby is here and alive, and I am a shitty mother for complaining about a few months of discomfort. I know there are plenty of women whose hearts are freshly broken right now, who would give anything to complain about their sore back and being winded getting off the couch, if it meant their babies were alive.
So that's where I am at, surrounded by a sea of guilt.
I went to the doctor yesterday, no ultrasound this time, a bit of a bummer. I was looking forward to seeing Boo and finding out how big she is now. But he checked my cervix and said all is well. I go back next week already, not sure if he's starting me on my weekly appts already, or if it's just due to scheduling, but the week after that I start my twice weekly NSTs. Ugh, twice weekly, that's going to be rough. If I am on weekly appts now, that means appts three times a week, or at the very least two appts every other week, and three on the other weeks.
I don't have enough sick time to cover my time off, so pretty much from now until I go on maternity leave, I'll have to not take any lunches and go into work an hour early everyday in order to make up 6-9 hours a week. The nurse said if I absolutely cannot make it on day, I could go after hours to L&D and have my NST done there. That's a good option for when I need it, but I don't feel right about going say, once a week. The beds and staff available are for women in labor or having difficulties. I don't feel right about taking up space on a regular basis for NSTs because I don't want to go during work hours.
On a fun note though, we've been getting several gifts lately. My mom's friend sent us one of those bundle me fleece covers for the car seat, some wash cloths and hooded towels. My two friends at work surprised me today with the bouncer, and Ryan's aunt and uncle sent us a willow tree figurine (New Life, the father is holding the baby and the mother is gazing upon him or her over dad's shoulder) a little rabbit "woobie" type thing and two crinkly fabric "books". All very cute, I love coming home and finding packages on my porch. Of course I kind of already know they're coming since I am......yes, I am a registry stalker. My husband hates that I do it, but I think it's fun.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Strange advice-30 wks 2 days
Every pregnant woman has heard it. The unsolicited advice. It ranges from stuff we already know (no drinking and smoking, duh) to the very bizarre like don't raise your arms over your head so the cord won't get wrapped around the baby's neck. But I heard a good one yesterday.
That lovely lady at work that was appalled that we named Kayla, came up to me yesterday. Up until now she hadn't said a word to me about this pregnancy, which I rather enjoyed, and decided on this gem for her first comment. In a low voice and a serious tone she asks me, "are you being careful driving over potholes"?
I stood there for a second, looked at her strangely and she went on to clarify, "not what it can do to your car, but what it might do to your body, you have to be careful". I just kinda laughed and said, "she'll be ok, she's well cushioned in there", and walked away. Just wow. I know I am catuious about things, but nobody has ever miscarried because they drove over a pothole. If human beings were that fragile there would be a lot less people on this earth.
Well at least her concern made me chuckle instead of wanting to punch her in the face. People are starting to come out of their shell around me at work. I guess as the belly gets bigger, they feel more comfortable talking to me about it. Hopefully they don't get too comfortable though, I've rather enjoyed being left alone.
My shower is three weeks from today, and I'm so excited. It's going to be great. I have also started the official countdown at work, just 9 weeks left. I cannot wait to be off for 12 whole weeks. I'm sure it will go faster than I want it to, but I'm grateful for it. I'm starting to get really excited for her to be here. Not that I wasn't before, but before I couldn't think about it too much. I had to focus on making it out of first tri, and past 22 weeks, and Vday. But now, we're so close, less than 10 weeks to go and I can finally start focusing on the future past my due date. I picture rocking her in the glider, putting her down in her crib, snuggling with her. I can't wait until she's here.
Yeah I'm terrified, but what new mother isn't? I feel like my excitement is finally on an equal level, or maybe even higher than my fear (most days). Yesterday was a rough pregnancy day though. It was a very long day at work and the slower the time ticked by, the more obvious my discomfort got. I had a lot of stretching pain, especially around my belly button, so gross!
At night I feel twice as big as I do during the day, so it only got worse. My upper back has been killing me. It's not pain per se.....even before I ever got pregnant for the first time I was terrified of having issues with my discs while pregnant. For about three or four summers in a row I had bad episodes where they bulged and for weeks at a time I could barely walk and spent weeks on end in physical therapy. Fortunately, it's been quite a while since I've had a bad episode. Unfortunately, I suspect frequent bike riding is the culprit. The summers that I did a ton of riding were the summers (and always only summers) that I had issues. The last few summers, I might get out and ride here and there, but nothing like the 5-6 days a week I used to do.
Anyway, my doctor always warned me that being pregnant and the extra weight in the front could do a number on my lower back, so I'm very thankful that it's my upper back that is the issue. And like I said, it's not pain it's stiffness, feels like I'm all in knots. Basically my upper back just feels exhausted. Laying on my back on the floor doesn't help; I get slight relief if I have my husband hug my upper back really tight and crack it. I'm thinking maybe a prenatal massage might be in order.
That lovely lady at work that was appalled that we named Kayla, came up to me yesterday. Up until now she hadn't said a word to me about this pregnancy, which I rather enjoyed, and decided on this gem for her first comment. In a low voice and a serious tone she asks me, "are you being careful driving over potholes"?
I stood there for a second, looked at her strangely and she went on to clarify, "not what it can do to your car, but what it might do to your body, you have to be careful". I just kinda laughed and said, "she'll be ok, she's well cushioned in there", and walked away. Just wow. I know I am catuious about things, but nobody has ever miscarried because they drove over a pothole. If human beings were that fragile there would be a lot less people on this earth.
Well at least her concern made me chuckle instead of wanting to punch her in the face. People are starting to come out of their shell around me at work. I guess as the belly gets bigger, they feel more comfortable talking to me about it. Hopefully they don't get too comfortable though, I've rather enjoyed being left alone.
My shower is three weeks from today, and I'm so excited. It's going to be great. I have also started the official countdown at work, just 9 weeks left. I cannot wait to be off for 12 whole weeks. I'm sure it will go faster than I want it to, but I'm grateful for it. I'm starting to get really excited for her to be here. Not that I wasn't before, but before I couldn't think about it too much. I had to focus on making it out of first tri, and past 22 weeks, and Vday. But now, we're so close, less than 10 weeks to go and I can finally start focusing on the future past my due date. I picture rocking her in the glider, putting her down in her crib, snuggling with her. I can't wait until she's here.
Yeah I'm terrified, but what new mother isn't? I feel like my excitement is finally on an equal level, or maybe even higher than my fear (most days). Yesterday was a rough pregnancy day though. It was a very long day at work and the slower the time ticked by, the more obvious my discomfort got. I had a lot of stretching pain, especially around my belly button, so gross!
At night I feel twice as big as I do during the day, so it only got worse. My upper back has been killing me. It's not pain per se.....even before I ever got pregnant for the first time I was terrified of having issues with my discs while pregnant. For about three or four summers in a row I had bad episodes where they bulged and for weeks at a time I could barely walk and spent weeks on end in physical therapy. Fortunately, it's been quite a while since I've had a bad episode. Unfortunately, I suspect frequent bike riding is the culprit. The summers that I did a ton of riding were the summers (and always only summers) that I had issues. The last few summers, I might get out and ride here and there, but nothing like the 5-6 days a week I used to do.
Anyway, my doctor always warned me that being pregnant and the extra weight in the front could do a number on my lower back, so I'm very thankful that it's my upper back that is the issue. And like I said, it's not pain it's stiffness, feels like I'm all in knots. Basically my upper back just feels exhausted. Laying on my back on the floor doesn't help; I get slight relief if I have my husband hug my upper back really tight and crack it. I'm thinking maybe a prenatal massage might be in order.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
3D Sucess- 30 wks
She cooperated last night, thank goodness, because I did not want to drive all the way out there who knows how many more times, especially in this weather. It was a lot of fun, my stepmom was going to go but she had an early day today and couldn't be out that late. So I asked my future SIL if she wanted to go. It was nice to have the company on the icy drive, but I also knew she'd be really excited to go, so it worked out well. So we met my MIL and FIL there. I had a pop with dinner, and a candy bar on the way there. I probably once again trashed my diet, but at least this time was worth it.
I never really talked a out the experience last time....the place was really nice, it was a large dimly lit room, kind of resembled a bedroom. There was an actual bed for me to lay on, and a leather couch and leather recliner for guests and on the wall in front of us was a big flat screen TV to watch the ultrasound on. I was happy with the set up; even though it's just my tummy, I am not one to ever show off my tummy, pregnant or not, so I was a little unsure if it would be a little uncomfortable with anyone but my husband, and namely my FIL. I pictured everyone standing around me, watching the screen, but the way the seats are arranged, they would have had to purposefully sit and stare at me to really see me during, which obviously no one did.
So Boo was much more cooperative this time, though she is breech again, lol. I'm assuming she flips multiples times. I'm not too worried at this point, she still had 5-6 weeks before I'll start worrying about her position, and honestly the L & D nurse said she has up until the day of delivery to flip. She said she's seen women scheduled for C sections because the baby is breech, only to come in and the baby is head down and ready for a vaginal birth.
So we got like a 20-25 minute session, she would do the 2D until she got a good angle and then switch to 3D...it was a lot of fun watching her squirm around and like usual, she kept putting her hands and feet up by her face. We got some good pics, not super clear, but I'm happy with them. I think she's adorable, you can tell she's mostly asleep and she looks so peaceful. It's so hard to tell from U/S, but just from looking at that I'd say she looks a little like Kayla.
She been using my bladder as a drum set for a while now; I don't know what she did last night, but I thought I was going to pee my pants, and see a foot coming out of me at the same time. It would be nice if she never did that again.
So without further ado, here is my precious baby girl. Oh, and do add in some fun facts, I am officially down to just 9 weeks and 1 day left of work. So excited! And of course, I'm in the 30's now, another milestone!
I never really talked a out the experience last time....the place was really nice, it was a large dimly lit room, kind of resembled a bedroom. There was an actual bed for me to lay on, and a leather couch and leather recliner for guests and on the wall in front of us was a big flat screen TV to watch the ultrasound on. I was happy with the set up; even though it's just my tummy, I am not one to ever show off my tummy, pregnant or not, so I was a little unsure if it would be a little uncomfortable with anyone but my husband, and namely my FIL. I pictured everyone standing around me, watching the screen, but the way the seats are arranged, they would have had to purposefully sit and stare at me to really see me during, which obviously no one did.
So Boo was much more cooperative this time, though she is breech again, lol. I'm assuming she flips multiples times. I'm not too worried at this point, she still had 5-6 weeks before I'll start worrying about her position, and honestly the L & D nurse said she has up until the day of delivery to flip. She said she's seen women scheduled for C sections because the baby is breech, only to come in and the baby is head down and ready for a vaginal birth.
So we got like a 20-25 minute session, she would do the 2D until she got a good angle and then switch to 3D...it was a lot of fun watching her squirm around and like usual, she kept putting her hands and feet up by her face. We got some good pics, not super clear, but I'm happy with them. I think she's adorable, you can tell she's mostly asleep and she looks so peaceful. It's so hard to tell from U/S, but just from looking at that I'd say she looks a little like Kayla.
She been using my bladder as a drum set for a while now; I don't know what she did last night, but I thought I was going to pee my pants, and see a foot coming out of me at the same time. It would be nice if she never did that again.
So without further ado, here is my precious baby girl. Oh, and do add in some fun facts, I am officially down to just 9 weeks and 1 day left of work. So excited! And of course, I'm in the 30's now, another milestone!
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Labor & Delivery - 29 wks 5 days
What a day. First of all, everything is fine. Just decided to go visit the lovely ladies in OB triage this morning. I haven't really had any cramping in about two months, and it came back off and on last week and some this week, but never stuck around long. But last night it was kind of persistant and a little bit more noticeable. So it was on my mind when I went to bed last night, and I was still cramping some when I woke up this morning, so I decided no work today, and a call to my OB was in order.
Aside from the overall guilt of not being able to protect Kayla, I don't have a ton of actual "I should have done this or that" guilt. Except I waited three days till the cramping got pretty bad before I took action, and that is the one thing I have some what-if guilt over. Wondering if I had gone to the hospital sooner, if they could have stalled my labor some, enough to keep her baking a few more weeks until viability.
So the second my cramping got a little worrrisome this time, I decided to play it safe. As expected, the nurse told me to go the L & D instead of coming in to the office. I was supposed to get up at 5 for work but went back to sleep until 7 so I could call off work, and then again until 9 to call my doctor. So it was nice to sleep in a little. After I showered I woke up my husband and told him we had to go. I wasn't super duper worried, because I was quite sure if I was in pre-term labor that this time we had caught it early enough to slow it down. Plus I had just had a cervical ultrasound last week and things were good.
Turns out, it was probably a good thing I had to call off work anyway because when we went to go to the hospital, my battery was dead. I could have taken my husband's car, but two of his tires were flat since he's been driving his truck lately so the cold kinda deflated his tires, but I wouldn't have woken him up at 6am to put air in the tires (he got home from work around 4am) and I certainly was not going to do it myself at that hour, in the dark, in the frigid cold (it's been about -15 degrees F with wind chills feeling like -30) and pregnant. So I at the very least would have been very very late for work.
So we took his truck to the hospital, the drive was a little hairy because the roads were pretty icy today, we saw a lot of accidents. We got there, got checked in and I was hooked up to the fetal monitoring. Pretty cool, I didn't get it last time because I wasn't far enough along. Her heartbeat was good which I assumed because she was kicking the crap out of me the whole way there. The monitor didn't pick up any contractions, my urine showed no sign of infection, and both the speculum exam and pelvic exams were good, my cervix is closed. Whew. I think we were there for about an hour.
After it was all said and done I did feel a little silly for coming in, but everyone agreed with my history it was good that I did, especially since the monitor could tell us if I really was having any contractions. So I'm thinking the cramping was due to lack of water. We've been insanely busy at work the past few weeks and I just haven't gotten a chance to really breathe, so I've been forgetting to drink my water, most days not even getting half of what I should be drinking. So, more water for me.
The ironic thing of it all is the very reason I went to the hospital, and the exam to make sure everything was ok, will likely now make me spot and cramp some over the next few days. But at least I'll know why. The exams weren't pleasant, I squeezed my husband's hand when it was really painful, but they were very quick at least. I was starving because my nurse told me it was probably wise not to eat anything, just in case. So we get out of there around 1pm and I hadn't eaten since about 8pm the night before. Not so good for a diabetic.
So we went on a hot date to the hospital cafeteria. When we got home, my husband tried jumping my battery with this jumper pack he got for Christmas last year, but it wouldn't get it going. He tried for about an hour, and in the meantime I called Onstar and had someone on their way. He went out one last time to try, and just then the roadside guy showed up two hours earlier than anticipated, yay! He jumped it with his super heavy duty jumper pack and it started right up. We figured with these frigid temps, if your battery was good you were fine, but if you were due for a new one anyway, than the extreme cold did it in. I could never live someplace that has temperatures like this all the time.
So then we were off in search of a new battery.....Sears was all sold out, so we went to Sam's Club. They had some, but it would be quite a wait, so we walked around the store a bit, and ate in their little cafe area. Wow, the hospital cafeteria and Sam's Club in the same day, we sure dined in style today! After we ate we shopped a little more and then went and got our car. Whew, long day. But my baby is good, I am good, and in a weird way it was a nice day. I don't really care what we do, it was nice to spend the whole day together. I'm off to snuggle on the couch with my kitty, and chug some water.
Aside from the overall guilt of not being able to protect Kayla, I don't have a ton of actual "I should have done this or that" guilt. Except I waited three days till the cramping got pretty bad before I took action, and that is the one thing I have some what-if guilt over. Wondering if I had gone to the hospital sooner, if they could have stalled my labor some, enough to keep her baking a few more weeks until viability.
So the second my cramping got a little worrrisome this time, I decided to play it safe. As expected, the nurse told me to go the L & D instead of coming in to the office. I was supposed to get up at 5 for work but went back to sleep until 7 so I could call off work, and then again until 9 to call my doctor. So it was nice to sleep in a little. After I showered I woke up my husband and told him we had to go. I wasn't super duper worried, because I was quite sure if I was in pre-term labor that this time we had caught it early enough to slow it down. Plus I had just had a cervical ultrasound last week and things were good.
Turns out, it was probably a good thing I had to call off work anyway because when we went to go to the hospital, my battery was dead. I could have taken my husband's car, but two of his tires were flat since he's been driving his truck lately so the cold kinda deflated his tires, but I wouldn't have woken him up at 6am to put air in the tires (he got home from work around 4am) and I certainly was not going to do it myself at that hour, in the dark, in the frigid cold (it's been about -15 degrees F with wind chills feeling like -30) and pregnant. So I at the very least would have been very very late for work.
So we took his truck to the hospital, the drive was a little hairy because the roads were pretty icy today, we saw a lot of accidents. We got there, got checked in and I was hooked up to the fetal monitoring. Pretty cool, I didn't get it last time because I wasn't far enough along. Her heartbeat was good which I assumed because she was kicking the crap out of me the whole way there. The monitor didn't pick up any contractions, my urine showed no sign of infection, and both the speculum exam and pelvic exams were good, my cervix is closed. Whew. I think we were there for about an hour.
After it was all said and done I did feel a little silly for coming in, but everyone agreed with my history it was good that I did, especially since the monitor could tell us if I really was having any contractions. So I'm thinking the cramping was due to lack of water. We've been insanely busy at work the past few weeks and I just haven't gotten a chance to really breathe, so I've been forgetting to drink my water, most days not even getting half of what I should be drinking. So, more water for me.
The ironic thing of it all is the very reason I went to the hospital, and the exam to make sure everything was ok, will likely now make me spot and cramp some over the next few days. But at least I'll know why. The exams weren't pleasant, I squeezed my husband's hand when it was really painful, but they were very quick at least. I was starving because my nurse told me it was probably wise not to eat anything, just in case. So we get out of there around 1pm and I hadn't eaten since about 8pm the night before. Not so good for a diabetic.
So we went on a hot date to the hospital cafeteria. When we got home, my husband tried jumping my battery with this jumper pack he got for Christmas last year, but it wouldn't get it going. He tried for about an hour, and in the meantime I called Onstar and had someone on their way. He went out one last time to try, and just then the roadside guy showed up two hours earlier than anticipated, yay! He jumped it with his super heavy duty jumper pack and it started right up. We figured with these frigid temps, if your battery was good you were fine, but if you were due for a new one anyway, than the extreme cold did it in. I could never live someplace that has temperatures like this all the time.
So then we were off in search of a new battery.....Sears was all sold out, so we went to Sam's Club. They had some, but it would be quite a wait, so we walked around the store a bit, and ate in their little cafe area. Wow, the hospital cafeteria and Sam's Club in the same day, we sure dined in style today! After we ate we shopped a little more and then went and got our car. Whew, long day. But my baby is good, I am good, and in a weird way it was a nice day. I don't really care what we do, it was nice to spend the whole day together. I'm off to snuggle on the couch with my kitty, and chug some water.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
3D ultrasound fail- 29 wks 2 days
Boo says no way Jose, I will not perform for you for your entertainment. Our appt was at 9:30 this morning and I guess I should have known it woudn't be a good time since she isn't as active during the morning. She likes to sleep in like her mama.
My inlaws met us there, so I felt bad that we dragged them out there and it didn't go well....but I know my MIL was excited to go, my FIL not so much, lol. So the tech tried for several minutes but Boo was sleeping with her back to us. So she suggested we go get something to eat, perferrably something sugary so she'd get moving, and come back in 20 minutes. So we went to Tim Horton's and I got a small hot chocolate and some tim bits. When we went back, she was awake and moving around but she was still mostly facing away from us and wouldn't turn. She switched to the 3D a few times but we couldn't get a good enough look at her face. I'm sure my doctor would be thrilled to hear I completely annihilated my diet this morning for an elective ultrasound and it didn't even work. Yeah, she won't be hearing about this.
So we rescheduled for this coming Wednesday at 8pm, maybe she'll be a little more cooperative. The boys don't want to go again, even though it was originally my husband's idea in the first place....so my MIL and I will go, and I think my stepmom may even be able to go. She had to work today, so she's happy we had to reschedule. I'm not sure what happens if she still doesn't cooperate. Do they just keep rescheduling? Do we get our money back? I mean, I can't keep going, it's not like it's right down the street, and they said it doesn't really work well past 33 weeks since the baby gets too big, and I'll be 30 next week.
What we did get to see was fun and I'm looking forward to hopefully getting a better shot on Wednesday, but I have to say, I don't think I'd do this again for any more pregnancies. The quality of the 2D was terrible compared to my doctor's machine, and the women at the front desk kinda pissed me off. The package was one price, but for an additional $40 you can purchase a heartbeat animal and record the heartbeat. Well we already had one from Kayla so we took the heart along and asked if we could just record it onto the heart we already had. They acted like it was the most off the wall question, so they called the owner and she agreed, but first said there would be a $10 charge. We said fine since it was better than spending $30 more for another stuffed animal.
Then she got a text and the owner I guess changed her mind and said she'd only charge us $5, which was nice, but she felt the need to add in that she kind of felt like it was the same as bringing your own food to the movies. Ummmm, we weren't out to screw them over or avoid the charge. It's not like we brought a tape recorder to record it, we would have happily bought an animal from there, but we already had one. Doesn't make sense to buy one when we already had one. Plus it's not like it really takes any effort on their part to hit the record button on our heart. It's not like we're getting $40 worth of work out of them for $5.
Anyways....so I thought it was kind of funny that Boo wouldn't cooperate. It's like she was saying, dude, it's Saturday morning, leave me alone. I cooperate at doctor appointments, what more do you want from me? But the tech was able to tell us she's got hair, you could see a little outline of fuzz. How cute!
My appt the other day went well, I met the 4th doctor in the practice. I saw him very briefly when he came by on his rounds in the hospital, but I couldn't get a real impression of him in that few minutes, but I like him, he was nice. I told him this one spot on my stomach hurts and feels like she's stabbing me with a little knife, so he says "well, did you give her a knife"? Haha. He said it's probably just due to stretching and her kicking in the same spot often. Oddly enough this week it hasn't been hurting like it did last week...maybe she had a growth spurt last week. So I was glad to meet him and that I like him. Of course I have my favorite doctor, but it's nice to know that I like 3 of the 4 doctors so whoever I get for delivery should be fine. Even if I get Dr. Dueschbag, just because I don't agree with his opinion on IC doesn't necessarily mean he'll be bad during delivery. It won't be the end of the world.
My inlaws met us there, so I felt bad that we dragged them out there and it didn't go well....but I know my MIL was excited to go, my FIL not so much, lol. So the tech tried for several minutes but Boo was sleeping with her back to us. So she suggested we go get something to eat, perferrably something sugary so she'd get moving, and come back in 20 minutes. So we went to Tim Horton's and I got a small hot chocolate and some tim bits. When we went back, she was awake and moving around but she was still mostly facing away from us and wouldn't turn. She switched to the 3D a few times but we couldn't get a good enough look at her face. I'm sure my doctor would be thrilled to hear I completely annihilated my diet this morning for an elective ultrasound and it didn't even work. Yeah, she won't be hearing about this.
So we rescheduled for this coming Wednesday at 8pm, maybe she'll be a little more cooperative. The boys don't want to go again, even though it was originally my husband's idea in the first place....so my MIL and I will go, and I think my stepmom may even be able to go. She had to work today, so she's happy we had to reschedule. I'm not sure what happens if she still doesn't cooperate. Do they just keep rescheduling? Do we get our money back? I mean, I can't keep going, it's not like it's right down the street, and they said it doesn't really work well past 33 weeks since the baby gets too big, and I'll be 30 next week.
What we did get to see was fun and I'm looking forward to hopefully getting a better shot on Wednesday, but I have to say, I don't think I'd do this again for any more pregnancies. The quality of the 2D was terrible compared to my doctor's machine, and the women at the front desk kinda pissed me off. The package was one price, but for an additional $40 you can purchase a heartbeat animal and record the heartbeat. Well we already had one from Kayla so we took the heart along and asked if we could just record it onto the heart we already had. They acted like it was the most off the wall question, so they called the owner and she agreed, but first said there would be a $10 charge. We said fine since it was better than spending $30 more for another stuffed animal.
Then she got a text and the owner I guess changed her mind and said she'd only charge us $5, which was nice, but she felt the need to add in that she kind of felt like it was the same as bringing your own food to the movies. Ummmm, we weren't out to screw them over or avoid the charge. It's not like we brought a tape recorder to record it, we would have happily bought an animal from there, but we already had one. Doesn't make sense to buy one when we already had one. Plus it's not like it really takes any effort on their part to hit the record button on our heart. It's not like we're getting $40 worth of work out of them for $5.
Anyways....so I thought it was kind of funny that Boo wouldn't cooperate. It's like she was saying, dude, it's Saturday morning, leave me alone. I cooperate at doctor appointments, what more do you want from me? But the tech was able to tell us she's got hair, you could see a little outline of fuzz. How cute!
My appt the other day went well, I met the 4th doctor in the practice. I saw him very briefly when he came by on his rounds in the hospital, but I couldn't get a real impression of him in that few minutes, but I like him, he was nice. I told him this one spot on my stomach hurts and feels like she's stabbing me with a little knife, so he says "well, did you give her a knife"? Haha. He said it's probably just due to stretching and her kicking in the same spot often. Oddly enough this week it hasn't been hurting like it did last week...maybe she had a growth spurt last week. So I was glad to meet him and that I like him. Of course I have my favorite doctor, but it's nice to know that I like 3 of the 4 doctors so whoever I get for delivery should be fine. Even if I get Dr. Dueschbag, just because I don't agree with his opinion on IC doesn't necessarily mean he'll be bad during delivery. It won't be the end of the world.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Happy 2014- 28 ks 6 days
The snow is beautiful, but unfortunately snow means my husband is at work. He's actually been home for quite a while though. He was home all last night, we had my brother and his fiancee over for dinner. We had steaks, twice baked potatoes and green beans, and they brought macaroni salad and mini cupcakes. I won't be surprised if my doctor ups my insulin again tomorrow. Some readings are good, but I've had plenty of high ones lately when I thought they would be better. Sometimes it's my fault, but other times I thought I ate well and my bloodsugar was too high, so I am kind of hoping she does up it because too many high readings worries me.
After dinner we just sat around and chatted and then we switched on a NYE show in time to watch the ball drop. It was a nice, low key NYE. My MIL posted a message on facebook, wishing everyone a happy new year and how they are looking forward to welcoming their 8th grandchild in 2014....I know some people probably think it's a small thing, but it meant the world to me that she included Kayla in her count.
Today I slept in till 11:30 and Ryan was just getting home when I got up. Normally I try to be productive on weekends, but since today was a freebie day off, I decided to just be lazy. We got a lot of snow and my husband doesn't like me going out when it's really snowy. It drives him crazy when he is trying to work to clear the snow and people just have to go out to the grocery store. My dad had invited us over for dinner today but I told him it was likely I wouldn't even get dressed today, which I did not.
I ate when I got up, watched some TV and around 2 my husband came upstairs to lay down on the couch since he had to go back to work at 6 tonight. He fell asleep pretty quick, and despite sleeping in I felt sleepy myself so I took a nap too. When we woke up we had a late lunch, and now he's off to work. He brought up the tote for christmas decorations so I guess I had better get busy undecorating. Most years I am ready to take the tree down by new years but I wish I could leave it for a little longer. The lights from the tree are so pretty and it smells so good. But, it will start dropping needles soon so I guess I had better get busy.
Boo was going crazy earlier, I swear she did a complete somersault earlier. I love her kicks, but that was a little nuts. Thankfully she calmed down so mama could nap. I'm excited to see her again tomorrow, and then we're having the 3D ultrasound on Saturday. I'm very excited for that. Back to work tomorrow, but at least it's just two days until the weekend. I could get used to having Wednesdays off every week. I went in early, worked through lunch and stayed an hour late both Monday and Tuesday. I'll go in early and work through lunch tomorrow too but I'm so excited to leave at 3 for my doctor appt. Hopefully my boss doesn't make overtime mandatory for this weekend as well.
After dinner we just sat around and chatted and then we switched on a NYE show in time to watch the ball drop. It was a nice, low key NYE. My MIL posted a message on facebook, wishing everyone a happy new year and how they are looking forward to welcoming their 8th grandchild in 2014....I know some people probably think it's a small thing, but it meant the world to me that she included Kayla in her count.
Today I slept in till 11:30 and Ryan was just getting home when I got up. Normally I try to be productive on weekends, but since today was a freebie day off, I decided to just be lazy. We got a lot of snow and my husband doesn't like me going out when it's really snowy. It drives him crazy when he is trying to work to clear the snow and people just have to go out to the grocery store. My dad had invited us over for dinner today but I told him it was likely I wouldn't even get dressed today, which I did not.
I ate when I got up, watched some TV and around 2 my husband came upstairs to lay down on the couch since he had to go back to work at 6 tonight. He fell asleep pretty quick, and despite sleeping in I felt sleepy myself so I took a nap too. When we woke up we had a late lunch, and now he's off to work. He brought up the tote for christmas decorations so I guess I had better get busy undecorating. Most years I am ready to take the tree down by new years but I wish I could leave it for a little longer. The lights from the tree are so pretty and it smells so good. But, it will start dropping needles soon so I guess I had better get busy.
Boo was going crazy earlier, I swear she did a complete somersault earlier. I love her kicks, but that was a little nuts. Thankfully she calmed down so mama could nap. I'm excited to see her again tomorrow, and then we're having the 3D ultrasound on Saturday. I'm very excited for that. Back to work tomorrow, but at least it's just two days until the weekend. I could get used to having Wednesdays off every week. I went in early, worked through lunch and stayed an hour late both Monday and Tuesday. I'll go in early and work through lunch tomorrow too but I'm so excited to leave at 3 for my doctor appt. Hopefully my boss doesn't make overtime mandatory for this weekend as well.
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