I've been so busy lately with work and Emily and trying to keep this house in something resembling order, I haven't written in forever. I've been trying to work more during the day so that I can have actual time off, what a concept, after Emily goes to bed and I have been completely OBSESSED with Bates Motel, so most nights I am binge watching that until bed. And um, I might be on my second time through.
So anyway, I've been wanting to write about Emily starting ballet, but now I have to write about it, along with a rant about what happened tonight. But first, from the beginning. She loves it. I am so glad she does. She can be so shy so it just makes my heart burst when I see her excited for stuff and branching out and making friends. The first day was a little hard. There are about 5 or 6 other girls. Two or three of them were very into it, mimicking the moves being taught and even seemed to love the "spotlight". One poor little girl wouldn't let go of daddy's hand to go out onto the dance floor. They came again last week and the same thing, and I noticed they weren't there this week, so maybe they gave up. But, the class is all 3 year olds, but she could be just newly 3. There is a huge range of abilities and social skills for newly 3 and then almost 4 year olds.
Then there was Emily, and one other girl that got out on the floor, they tried, but they just didn't want to do anything. So she wasn't the best, but not the worst either. Em's feet were glued to the floor the whole time, haha. Or, I should say, it's not that she didn't want to do it, but Emily is very cautious. She likes to observe, and take things in and when she is ready, she'll do them. So that first class, she moved her little bottom maybe an inch when they were learning plies. The lobby of the studio has a bunch of things for sale like ballet clothes, bags, and stuffed animals. It was like Em's dream world, they have a ton of those big eyed Ty cats. So after class we bought her one. Note to self, do NOT promise your kid that they get one after every class. Hangs head in shame, what were we thinking?
She already had 4 or 5 of those cats at home, so once we got home she had all her cats lined up and she was telling them to "march march march" just like her teacher was telling them. Oh my fucking gosh, how cute is that? I used to do the same thing. I would cry and beg and plead to not go to swim lessons as a kid, but the minute I got home, Barbie was taught all of the things I had learned in class that day. And she looks so stinkin' cute in her little leotard, tights, ballet shoes and her hair up in a bun.
That first night, her Nana and Papa brought her to class since she spends Wednesdays with them, and Ryan and I met them there. We all watched her class and then we all went to dinner. Since then, my MIL has been picking her up on Wednesday mornings (instead of me dropping her off at her house) and then I pick her up from their house and take her to ballet, since often times my niece and nephew and SIL are still there swimming. It works out well because with her getting picked up late morning, it gives me time to get right to work and actually be productive while she is gone for the day. I always intend to get so much done on Wednesdays, but I end up sitting around the house in the morning, maybe getting out of the house in time to drop her off over there around 1, and then try as I might, I often spend at least an hour, or two...or three sitting around talking with my MIL. By then I am starving, grab some lunch on the way home and I have about 30-60 minutes to work before I have to get dinner started.
Being home with a toddler all day makes me starved for adult interaction. The same thing happens at my dad's, I swear I will only stay 30 minutes and then head home,but that almost never happens. So last week Em was much more relaxed and put more effort into copying the moves and moving around and being active in class. I wasn't surprised she kind of blossomed on the second week. My girl doesn't rush herself, she takes her time and does things at her own speed. Case in point, not walking 'till 18 months, ahhhhhh! I do believe that set the tone for how she is going to handle things for her entire life. That and the fact that she had to be forcibly removed from the womb! She was like nope, not ready yet!
So tonight, just like last week she was all excited for class and saying how much she likes her teacher and how she can't wait to dance. This just makes me so happy. I worry about her being an only child, and not being in school yet to make many friends. Although, she has gotten to be good friends with Anabella, my stepmom's great niece. She tries to get the two of them together to play every couple weeks. When they were smaller they just played in the same room, but not with each other. But now that they're a little older, they actually play together and for the most part get along....apparently Anabella kept taking her stuff last time they were together. Everything Emily would pick up, she would take from her, so after a while Emily got tired of it and pushed her.
I don't want to condone physical violence, but hey, sometimes you've just gotta pop someone to get the point across. I had to hide my smile when she told me she pushed her, because Grammy had already told me what happened and that she kind of had it coming. I DO NOT want Emily to be a bully, but I also don't want her to let people walk on her or for her to be a pushover. My stepmom sent me a really cute pic of the two girls together a couple months ago. How cute would that be to display that picture at their grad parties in 15 years if they are still besties?
So anyway, in the 14 or so months that Emily has been potty trained, she has never ever had an accident out in public. Well, today was the day apparently. I stupidly forgot to make her go potty before class, and about halfway through I was watching through the window, and I noticed Emily wasn't moving from the spot she was in to the join the other kids. I thought uh oh, is that a puddle on the floor? But her teacher walked by several times and seemed to be looking right at Em but she wasn't acting as though she was looking at pee on the floor. It's kind of hard to watch class through the mini blinds on the window, and with my contacts in, I felt like I kept going cross eyed, so maybe what looked like a puddle was just a shiny spot on the floor.
So then the teacher corralled all the kids on the other side of the room, and they appeared to be going into the next exercise, so I thought ok, I guess she didn't pee. But then a minute later she got the kids and walked them out of the room, and down the hall to the front desk....but Emily was still in the studio all by herself and the door was shut. I was confused. I thought maybe she was taking the kids out of the room, and then was going to go back in and clean up and talk to Em...but another minute passed and it became clear that she didn't realize Emily wasn't with them. At home, Em gets upset when she has an accident, and now she is left behind in the studio all by herself, and she isn't the type of kid that will say hey, and come running out of the room (except at home, haha). So I went in the room to get her, and took her to the bathroom to clean her up a bit. I don't happen to carry an extra leotard and tights on me, so the best I could do is blot her with paper towel. She kept saying, my teacher is waiting, I gotta go back to class....it wasn't super obvious that her leotard was wet, and it was just pee thankfully, not poop so I took her back out for the last few minutes of class. As we came back my husband motioned to me that class had moved to the studio down the hall.
I wasn't sure of the policy...like I know some daycares and such don't do diaper changes or potty runs, and I would assume at those places any messes are your responsibility. But here, I wasn't sure how that worked. So Ryan went to go ask if we should clean that up. Apparently the lady at the front desk told him she was headed there with a mop right then, and he was like I can do it so she handed it over. Ok, I know I know, when you offer, you should be prepared to be taken up on that offer...and I think he totally was. But in my opinion, if it's not the studio's policy that parents need to clean up potty accidents, I really don't think she should have let him do it. It may be kind of gross for someone else to clean up, but usually stuff like this is kind of embarrassing, so as a worker, as long as the parents are polite, I would insist on doing it. But, he did offer, so I can't really complain. Just glad I didn't have to do it.
Ordinarily I am really not embarrassed over stuff like this. Shit, or in this case, pee happens. She's 3, surely she isn't the first and won't be the last kid to pee during class. Had her teacher quickly lead Emily to the door and got my attention and told me what happened, she could have just gone on with class, or moved them like she did, and we would have slipped out to go clean up. But the way class was completely disrupted and had to parade down the hall and then into another studio, it was a bit embarrassing that it was because of MY kid who just pissed in the middle of the ballet studio floor.
So while we were there, I was mostly just embarrassed and trying to get Em cleaned up and back to class because she wanted to go back so badly. But on the way home, that all gave way and I was pissed. Surely that is not the proper way to handle an accident in class, and when working with toddlers, potty accidents, and other issues are bound to come up. Furthermore, I was pretty appalled that when in charge of only 6 kids, that her teacher made the mistake of not noticing she was left behind. Now, I'm not trying to make this out to be this huge thing. No, Emily was not scarred by being left in the room, BUT, she is in charge of those kids for that 30 minutes, and leaving a kid behind and going to another room is just not acceptable.
What if I hadn't been watching at the window? I wouldn't leave the area, but the window isn't that big, and some kids do better when they know their parents aren't watching. It is perfectly acceptable to go sit at a table, or in one of the chairs....and the doors to that studio are not visible from the lounge. So if I had been sitting down, I would have had no idea that any of this was going on, no one came to tell me my daughter had an accident, and she would have been left in that room alone for how long while class was going on in another room? I was going to call tomorrow and speak to someone, but they don't open till 4 or 5 and by then I'll likely be working. I didn't want to just let this go because I get busy and forget to call. I do think it's a nice studio, and I like her teacher otherwise, but if I say nothing, no one else will be aware that this happened and know to talk to her about what to do when kids have accidents.
So I sent a PM over facebook. I tried not to be all bitchy and be THAT mom. More than likely it was an honest mistake, and I know in a lot of cases, you don't know how to avoid or deal with a problem, until that problem comes up. Maybe her teacher is new to working with the 3 years olds. So I wrote what I thought was a nice, but firm concerned email, just wanting to address the issue and make sure that doesn't happen in the future.
To my surprise, I got a reply like 5 minutes later, and the woman (owner I assume) was very apologetic and assured me that she would talk to her teacher and make sure she understands what she should do in this scenario and she stressed that she wants to make sure we are happy and that they can serve us better. I was surprised....customer service isn't always top notch, so when you get really good customer service, it's a very nice surprise. She explained that the teacher is used to working with young kids, but likely just hadn't experienced an accident in class yet. That makes sense, she definitely did seem a bit rattled and didn't know what to do and now going forward they'll go over it with her and have a plan. This mama bear is happy.
I didn't want to crucify them for this one incident because so far I like everything about the studio and Emily enjoys it so much, but this just solidified it for me that it's a really great place. I would like to have her dance in the fall since she likes it so much, but she is only 3. I'd like for her to try different things and discover what she likes best. If she LOVES dance and ends up wanting to do it or something else exclusively and really excels, I won't discourage her. But I also do not have any grand visions of her going on to Juilliard. I think sports and activities should be fun, and I will push her to give it her all, but at the end of the day, I just want her to have fun and make friends and see what she can do and enjoy it.
So I am thinking maybe gymnastics or tumbling...or maybe that's the same thing, in the fall. Swimming this winter....when it's yucky and cold outside, I think she would enjoy taking lessons and still getting to swim even in the winter. Then next summer she can try tennis. I'm sooooo excited for that. My baby is becoming such a big girl!
