On days like today, when Emily is unusually fussy it just makes me wonder. What, what is so bad in your life that makes you scream like your hand is being chopped off? Are you hoping for a different flavor bottle today? Is your diaper pinching you? Is your hair too fuzzy after a bath? Maybe you don't enjoy the color of your footie pajamas?
It breaks my heart to see my daughter cry but sometimes you just have to have some humor. I started her bath and bedtime routine early tonight because she just wouldn't settle down, but even that didn't knock her out like it usually does. My secret weapon has failed me tonight. Her eyes were looking a little heavy so I put her down, and 25 minutes later she looks to be asleep on the monitor, but I am guessing this means she won't sleep until 4 like usual.
Sorry to all the stay at home moms out there, but I used to wonder what you all did all day. Ha, now I know. Right now unless I have someplace to go, I usually go back to bed around 8 or 9 after she eats until about 11. Some days we sit around the house, other days we go to Target or grocery shopping or for a walk, but it usually takes at least two hours to get us both ready. On the days we don't go anywhere time gets away from me; if she is extra fussy I hold her most of the day and change and feed her, and before I know it it's 9pm, I haven't showered and I still haven't pumped for the day.
I used to think if I didn't have to work, I would have a spotless house and dinner on the table at 5pm each day. I'd like to think that could happen as she gets a little older, but once she's mobile I imagine I'd be chasing her around all day and picking up after her. And I am only a "stay at home mom" for another month and a half and then I go back to work. In some ways I look forward to it....getting back into a routine, having things to look forward to (everyday at 5pm and the weekend) and having some time to myself so I can eat in peace and pay bills on time.
But I'm really dreading going back. Three months off seemed like such a long time before but now it's going by so fast. Plus they have me going back a day early, that Friday instead of Monday. I guess in a way it will be good, I can just dip my toes in, spend most of Friday answering everyone's questions about how little sleep I am getting, go through my three months worth of email, and look forward to it being the weekend and spending two days with my baby. But at the same time, I feel like that last week will be ruined because I'll be dreading going back instead of trying to enjoy my last week.
But I have to go back sometime right? For right now I am enjoying being off, and being Sunday night knowing everyone else is dreading Monday morning but I get to spend tomorrow shopping and having lunch with my stepmom.
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Smiley girl
So it only took me almost 6 weeks to realize that unless I am traveling to the desert, I don't need to pack multiple bottles when we go out. I can just take one and enough formula and just wash it out if she needs more bottles. Oh well, at least I figured that out before months went by of bringing home multiple dirty bottles.
Things are going well, we're getting a bit of a routine down. She typically goes down for the night around 8:30 or 9 but she gets a final bottle around 11:30 and then I put her down in her crib. She used to wake around 2 but now she's been sleeping till closer to 4. I used to completely dread bed time because I was so afraid to leave her and go to sleep, but now I tend to look forward to bed time.
The fear is still there but it's lessened. I know I am doing everything I possibly can to keep her safe, and I am feeling more confident that she'll be ok. I also really enjoy the hour or two to myself once she's in bed where I can just relax, watch TV, and now that I have a handsfree pumping bra I can actually do other things while I pump. Mainly I like that I can scratch my nose. Why is it your nose only itches when you cannot scratch it? I actually had to ask the anesthesiologist to scratch my nose when my arms were secured down during my c section. The other night I put her down and I was like I'm going to get a snack, pump, and watch TV and I was really excited to have my me time, but as I was getting my pumping bottles I heard crying....I was like oh shit! But then I realized it was on TV. Whew! I love my baby, but oh dear God please don't wake up.
My husband went back to work this past week and Emily and I have been doing pretty well on our own. We go for walks, to Target, we take naps. Our first grocery shopping experience was interesting. I get there and there are absolutely no carts in the parking lot anywhere. So I had to carry her car seat, the bag of pop cans and the diaper bag into the store. Thank goodness I had a brain and put my wallet in the diaper bag and left my purse at home so I had one less thing to carry.
At Target, we normally put her carseat lengthwise in the front part of the cart where the older kids sit. But the grocery store carts were smaller and I couldn't do that, so I had to put her in the big part. So then I'm like where am I going to put the food? So I had to stack it all around her. Thankfully she was a dream at the store, and either just looked around or slept. I bought a baby Ktan so I think tomorrow I'll take her in that. I just need to get better about wrapping her up, she never looks very comfortable.
I'm pretty sure she had her first social smile today. She's been smiling since birth but they're mostly just random or gas related, but today I put down a blanket and let her lay on the living room floor and flop around and look at the ceiling fan, and I was making faces at her and she kept smiling. So adorable. We went to my neice's 5th birthday party yesterday and everyone wanted to hold her. I am fine with people holding her, it gives me a break and let's me eat in peace, but man do I miss her once we get home from someplace like that. Even though she was right there, after not holding her in 5 hours I needed my Emily snuggles. So even after she was asleep last night I rocked her for a while. Before I know it she'll be 15 years old and want nothing to do with me.
Here's my sweetie and her big smile.
Things are going well, we're getting a bit of a routine down. She typically goes down for the night around 8:30 or 9 but she gets a final bottle around 11:30 and then I put her down in her crib. She used to wake around 2 but now she's been sleeping till closer to 4. I used to completely dread bed time because I was so afraid to leave her and go to sleep, but now I tend to look forward to bed time.
The fear is still there but it's lessened. I know I am doing everything I possibly can to keep her safe, and I am feeling more confident that she'll be ok. I also really enjoy the hour or two to myself once she's in bed where I can just relax, watch TV, and now that I have a handsfree pumping bra I can actually do other things while I pump. Mainly I like that I can scratch my nose. Why is it your nose only itches when you cannot scratch it? I actually had to ask the anesthesiologist to scratch my nose when my arms were secured down during my c section. The other night I put her down and I was like I'm going to get a snack, pump, and watch TV and I was really excited to have my me time, but as I was getting my pumping bottles I heard crying....I was like oh shit! But then I realized it was on TV. Whew! I love my baby, but oh dear God please don't wake up.
My husband went back to work this past week and Emily and I have been doing pretty well on our own. We go for walks, to Target, we take naps. Our first grocery shopping experience was interesting. I get there and there are absolutely no carts in the parking lot anywhere. So I had to carry her car seat, the bag of pop cans and the diaper bag into the store. Thank goodness I had a brain and put my wallet in the diaper bag and left my purse at home so I had one less thing to carry.
At Target, we normally put her carseat lengthwise in the front part of the cart where the older kids sit. But the grocery store carts were smaller and I couldn't do that, so I had to put her in the big part. So then I'm like where am I going to put the food? So I had to stack it all around her. Thankfully she was a dream at the store, and either just looked around or slept. I bought a baby Ktan so I think tomorrow I'll take her in that. I just need to get better about wrapping her up, she never looks very comfortable.
I'm pretty sure she had her first social smile today. She's been smiling since birth but they're mostly just random or gas related, but today I put down a blanket and let her lay on the living room floor and flop around and look at the ceiling fan, and I was making faces at her and she kept smiling. So adorable. We went to my neice's 5th birthday party yesterday and everyone wanted to hold her. I am fine with people holding her, it gives me a break and let's me eat in peace, but man do I miss her once we get home from someplace like that. Even though she was right there, after not holding her in 5 hours I needed my Emily snuggles. So even after she was asleep last night I rocked her for a while. Before I know it she'll be 15 years old and want nothing to do with me.
Here's my sweetie and her big smile.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Bath time success....sort of
So far Emily does not like bath time. But man does she sleep well after one. We take a bath, we get warm in footy pajamas and a swaddle and then we have a bottle and she's down for the count.
She hated the first few baths in the sling because she was cold and maybe even was afraid she was going to fall. So I was excited the other day to give her a bath immersed in the water since her cord had fallen off thinking maybe she'll like it better if she was warmer. It was a disaster. I had her in the baby tub in our tub. I was bent over trying to wash her but she kept sliding down the tub seat and I had a hard time washing her and keeping her upright, her tub kept sliding around and it was a very awkward position for me.
She was still cold because I didn't make the water very deep, and it's a good thing I didn't because if it were any deeper her head would have gone under one of the times she slid down. So yesterday I used a hand towel in the tub to keep her from slipping which worked pretty well, and she cried a little less because I used a warm washcloth to cover her tummy to keep her from being too cold. I'd call it a success....at least as well of one that we'll have until she's old enough to sit up on her own.
Speaking of sitting up, I think baby girl is going to be very strong (and smart :) Since the day she was born she's been very good at lifting her head when I have her on my chest. Yesterday she was pretty fussy so I picked her up and "stood her" on my lap. Of course her legs kept collapsing but sometimes she was damn near standing with her own strength for several seconds. I don't know if all 4 week old babies can do this but I was pretty impressed.
Things are getting smoother, we're all getting into a routine. She's sleeping quite well at night, usually sleeping through to each feeding. I am no longer getting upset when she cries a lot, before it pained me so much when she was cry and have pain on her face, but I'm getting better with that. Night time is also better, I've been looking forward to putting her down and having an hour of me time before I go to bed rather than dreading bed time and being so scared I couldn't relax well enough to sleep good. In fact last night I had just put her down, I was getting a snack and was going to watch some TV when I heard a baby crying. I was like oh fuck, thinking she was awake....it was just a baby on TV. Haha funny how I never noticed crying babies before, now suddenly my mom ears perk up and I assume it's mine.
I cannot wait for Saturday, we went appliance shopping the other day and got a new (used....well not used, from the Sears outlet, so new but a few dings to make it a great price) fridge, stove, and washer....and we'll likely get a new dryer once the gas version of the matching one comes in. I'm giving myself until Monday and then Emily and I are going grocery shopping and I'm going to start cooking again and eating healthy. I've enjoyed the last month of eating every carb under the sun and rebelling against diabetes. But it's time I get my butt back in line or I will undo all of my weightloss so far.
As I've said before, I didn't gain any pregnancy weight (I just had to brag about that one last time) and thanks to nursing and not having an opportunity to eat most of the time, I've lost 32 pounds already. But it's not a healthy way, and I'm starting to get more time to eat more often and if I keep eating the junk I've been eating I'll gain it all back. Besides, with a new fridge and stove there is no excuse to not stock it with healthy foods and cook, especially since I am off work. And our new fridge has ice and water in the door so I need to start drinking water again. Especially since my milk supply has seriously dwindled in the last few weeks.
My baby has outgrown her first newborn outfit and wore her first 3 mo onsie today. I'm so sad. All of her newborn stuff still fits fine except her footy jammies, she's too long. Her newborn onsies still fit but there are a bit tight and hard to get on, so the 3 mo ones are much easier to get on. Sigh, my baby is growing up....I know she's not even one month yet (Saturday) but this past month has already gone so fast, so I fear how quickly the coming months and years will go.
She hated the first few baths in the sling because she was cold and maybe even was afraid she was going to fall. So I was excited the other day to give her a bath immersed in the water since her cord had fallen off thinking maybe she'll like it better if she was warmer. It was a disaster. I had her in the baby tub in our tub. I was bent over trying to wash her but she kept sliding down the tub seat and I had a hard time washing her and keeping her upright, her tub kept sliding around and it was a very awkward position for me.
She was still cold because I didn't make the water very deep, and it's a good thing I didn't because if it were any deeper her head would have gone under one of the times she slid down. So yesterday I used a hand towel in the tub to keep her from slipping which worked pretty well, and she cried a little less because I used a warm washcloth to cover her tummy to keep her from being too cold. I'd call it a success....at least as well of one that we'll have until she's old enough to sit up on her own.
Speaking of sitting up, I think baby girl is going to be very strong (and smart :) Since the day she was born she's been very good at lifting her head when I have her on my chest. Yesterday she was pretty fussy so I picked her up and "stood her" on my lap. Of course her legs kept collapsing but sometimes she was damn near standing with her own strength for several seconds. I don't know if all 4 week old babies can do this but I was pretty impressed.
Things are getting smoother, we're all getting into a routine. She's sleeping quite well at night, usually sleeping through to each feeding. I am no longer getting upset when she cries a lot, before it pained me so much when she was cry and have pain on her face, but I'm getting better with that. Night time is also better, I've been looking forward to putting her down and having an hour of me time before I go to bed rather than dreading bed time and being so scared I couldn't relax well enough to sleep good. In fact last night I had just put her down, I was getting a snack and was going to watch some TV when I heard a baby crying. I was like oh fuck, thinking she was awake....it was just a baby on TV. Haha funny how I never noticed crying babies before, now suddenly my mom ears perk up and I assume it's mine.
I cannot wait for Saturday, we went appliance shopping the other day and got a new (used....well not used, from the Sears outlet, so new but a few dings to make it a great price) fridge, stove, and washer....and we'll likely get a new dryer once the gas version of the matching one comes in. I'm giving myself until Monday and then Emily and I are going grocery shopping and I'm going to start cooking again and eating healthy. I've enjoyed the last month of eating every carb under the sun and rebelling against diabetes. But it's time I get my butt back in line or I will undo all of my weightloss so far.
As I've said before, I didn't gain any pregnancy weight (I just had to brag about that one last time) and thanks to nursing and not having an opportunity to eat most of the time, I've lost 32 pounds already. But it's not a healthy way, and I'm starting to get more time to eat more often and if I keep eating the junk I've been eating I'll gain it all back. Besides, with a new fridge and stove there is no excuse to not stock it with healthy foods and cook, especially since I am off work. And our new fridge has ice and water in the door so I need to start drinking water again. Especially since my milk supply has seriously dwindled in the last few weeks.
My baby has outgrown her first newborn outfit and wore her first 3 mo onsie today. I'm so sad. All of her newborn stuff still fits fine except her footy jammies, she's too long. Her newborn onsies still fit but there are a bit tight and hard to get on, so the 3 mo ones are much easier to get on. Sigh, my baby is growing up....I know she's not even one month yet (Saturday) but this past month has already gone so fast, so I fear how quickly the coming months and years will go.
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Life as we know it
So I apologize to my readers for having a boring blog lately, but I suspect it will be this way for a while. Right now my life is sleeping, washing bottles, feeding, pumping, and comforting....oh and changing diapers. This girl pees like there is no tomorrow.
Things are going well, but it's been an adjustment. My poor cats are feeling neglected. Despite still sleeping with us every night (though he probably doesn't appreciate the interruptions to his sleep everytime we get up for Emily) Vinny has been picking fights with Zoey a lot more because he's apparently angry that we don't have time for him anymore. Or at least that's what the cat whisperer in me says. I feel bad, but at least he is nice to Emily. He'll often cuddle up near her, and he is careful not to step on or jump on her when she's on the couch.
I'd say one of my biggest stressors right now is time management. Time just gets away from me and before I know it it's 7pm and I've yet to shower for the second day in a row. I'm also trying to "relish each moment" because in just a few days I'll have been off work for a month already and only have two left. I know when I go back to work I will so wish I had appreciated this time more, even though there is really nothing more I can do to appreciate it. Amongst the screaming and crying, poopy diapers and spitting up like clock work when I put a new outfit on her, I try to really look around, and just take in the moment, because I know in an instant she'll be 16 with an attitude, hating me and I'll wonder what happened to the days when she was my cuddly newborn who clung to me for comfort.
But it just seems you can never fully appreciate the moment when you're in it. No matter how many pictures you take, stories you blog about, or times commited to memory, once the moment is gone it never seems like it was appreciated and you'd give anything to have it back. That's what I am struggling with right now. Time is flying by, the days fly by, hours go by like minutes.....but then I have to remind myself, I am not lazy for going back to bed until 11am while she is sleeping, I got up at 2:30 and 5:30 and 8:30 for at least 20-40 minutes each time. I am not a bad mom because I haven't vacuumed the rug, washing bottles and pumping is more important. I can feel it creeping in already, the mom guilt.
So thankfully we seem to only have babies in the spring; since we've been home I haven't needed my winter coat at all, and most days have been nice and sunny and at least 50 degrees. We've been out a lot, Emily has already been to Target like 4 times....I know they say not to take babies out much in the first six weeks, but I can't stay in, after this winter I need to get out. Besides she survived my brother's wedding and getting passed around by all of my aunts. We originally said we didn't want anyone to hold her at the wedding, but that kind of went out the window.
My dad had a BBQ Saturday night for all my family in town, and they all held her then which I was fine with. But then the next day, when my one aunt that wasn't there the night before asked if she could hold her, I couldn't say no when all the others got to. So then she was passed around between all of them again. I barely got to hold her all day, though that was kind of nice. She behaved perfectly, like she always does around other people. Nobody believes us that she often screams and cries, least of all her grandmas. She can do no wrong in their eyes.
Yesterday was nice, Ryan had to work so Emily and I went to Target and she got lots of attention. We got stopped by a well-meaning old lady who wanted to yack my ear off for 10 minutes, and she had at least 4 other people to stop and look and say how pretty she is. But I know that of course, we make pretty babies :)
Then I called in an order to an arabic restaurant and went and picked up my lunch. It was delicious, even though I had to eat most of it cold because 'lil miss decided she wanted to eat at the same time. Welcome to motherhood! After that we went for a walk....I got to be that person I always despise when I am on my way to work, or out running errands on my lunch break. That person that has nothing better to do on a beautiful sunny day other than push their baby in a stroller around the block.
Of course, I have tons of things I should be doing, as do other moms I know, but when I am going to work and I see that person out walking their baby with nothing but the whole day ahead of them to do whatever they want....well, I admit, there is jealousy involved. But I got to be her and it was great! I also feel the same way when I see two old people out walking hand in hand in the early morning. Well, my first thought is awe that's cute, my second thought is I hate them because they don't have to go to work.
I find myself missing being pregnant, simply because I still had it all in front of me. I would take the pain and long hours of labor all over again, to start the clock over. She'll never be one day old again, I'll never get to repeat that first moment that I saw her. I wish I could just freeze time and keep her my tiny baby forever.
She's been good to me the last couple days; last night she slept and let me finish addressing the birth announcements, and tonight she let me work on a video I am making of all her first pictures, like I made for Kayla. I should be in bed, it won't be long until she's screaming for a bottle, but right now I just want to take advantage of her sleeping so I can have some me time.
When we first got home from the hospital I couldn't get over how comfortable our bed was. I mean, it's a tempur pedic, so of course it is but after sleeping in a hospital bed for 4 days it felt like clouds directly from heaven. But lately I have been in pain...I think it's because I am overjoyed that my giant belly is gone and I can sleep on my stomach again. Apparently doing so does very bad things to the rest of my body. So everytime I went back to bed last night I couldn't get comfortable and kept waking up in pain. I stopped using my snoogle a couple months ago, once my belly got big enough to anchor me down, I no longer needed it to keep me on my side, and since Emily came home she's been sleeping in it during the day on the couch. But last night I decided to steal it back.....Oh my God, best sleep of my life. I was so comfy, I think I fell asleep in a nano second.
Well, speaking of, I better get my butt to bed and get at least an hour of sleep before the beast awakens....I mean, my sweet baby girl.
Things are going well, but it's been an adjustment. My poor cats are feeling neglected. Despite still sleeping with us every night (though he probably doesn't appreciate the interruptions to his sleep everytime we get up for Emily) Vinny has been picking fights with Zoey a lot more because he's apparently angry that we don't have time for him anymore. Or at least that's what the cat whisperer in me says. I feel bad, but at least he is nice to Emily. He'll often cuddle up near her, and he is careful not to step on or jump on her when she's on the couch.
I'd say one of my biggest stressors right now is time management. Time just gets away from me and before I know it it's 7pm and I've yet to shower for the second day in a row. I'm also trying to "relish each moment" because in just a few days I'll have been off work for a month already and only have two left. I know when I go back to work I will so wish I had appreciated this time more, even though there is really nothing more I can do to appreciate it. Amongst the screaming and crying, poopy diapers and spitting up like clock work when I put a new outfit on her, I try to really look around, and just take in the moment, because I know in an instant she'll be 16 with an attitude, hating me and I'll wonder what happened to the days when she was my cuddly newborn who clung to me for comfort.
But it just seems you can never fully appreciate the moment when you're in it. No matter how many pictures you take, stories you blog about, or times commited to memory, once the moment is gone it never seems like it was appreciated and you'd give anything to have it back. That's what I am struggling with right now. Time is flying by, the days fly by, hours go by like minutes.....but then I have to remind myself, I am not lazy for going back to bed until 11am while she is sleeping, I got up at 2:30 and 5:30 and 8:30 for at least 20-40 minutes each time. I am not a bad mom because I haven't vacuumed the rug, washing bottles and pumping is more important. I can feel it creeping in already, the mom guilt.
So thankfully we seem to only have babies in the spring; since we've been home I haven't needed my winter coat at all, and most days have been nice and sunny and at least 50 degrees. We've been out a lot, Emily has already been to Target like 4 times....I know they say not to take babies out much in the first six weeks, but I can't stay in, after this winter I need to get out. Besides she survived my brother's wedding and getting passed around by all of my aunts. We originally said we didn't want anyone to hold her at the wedding, but that kind of went out the window.
My dad had a BBQ Saturday night for all my family in town, and they all held her then which I was fine with. But then the next day, when my one aunt that wasn't there the night before asked if she could hold her, I couldn't say no when all the others got to. So then she was passed around between all of them again. I barely got to hold her all day, though that was kind of nice. She behaved perfectly, like she always does around other people. Nobody believes us that she often screams and cries, least of all her grandmas. She can do no wrong in their eyes.
Yesterday was nice, Ryan had to work so Emily and I went to Target and she got lots of attention. We got stopped by a well-meaning old lady who wanted to yack my ear off for 10 minutes, and she had at least 4 other people to stop and look and say how pretty she is. But I know that of course, we make pretty babies :)
Then I called in an order to an arabic restaurant and went and picked up my lunch. It was delicious, even though I had to eat most of it cold because 'lil miss decided she wanted to eat at the same time. Welcome to motherhood! After that we went for a walk....I got to be that person I always despise when I am on my way to work, or out running errands on my lunch break. That person that has nothing better to do on a beautiful sunny day other than push their baby in a stroller around the block.
Of course, I have tons of things I should be doing, as do other moms I know, but when I am going to work and I see that person out walking their baby with nothing but the whole day ahead of them to do whatever they want....well, I admit, there is jealousy involved. But I got to be her and it was great! I also feel the same way when I see two old people out walking hand in hand in the early morning. Well, my first thought is awe that's cute, my second thought is I hate them because they don't have to go to work.
I find myself missing being pregnant, simply because I still had it all in front of me. I would take the pain and long hours of labor all over again, to start the clock over. She'll never be one day old again, I'll never get to repeat that first moment that I saw her. I wish I could just freeze time and keep her my tiny baby forever.
She's been good to me the last couple days; last night she slept and let me finish addressing the birth announcements, and tonight she let me work on a video I am making of all her first pictures, like I made for Kayla. I should be in bed, it won't be long until she's screaming for a bottle, but right now I just want to take advantage of her sleeping so I can have some me time.
When we first got home from the hospital I couldn't get over how comfortable our bed was. I mean, it's a tempur pedic, so of course it is but after sleeping in a hospital bed for 4 days it felt like clouds directly from heaven. But lately I have been in pain...I think it's because I am overjoyed that my giant belly is gone and I can sleep on my stomach again. Apparently doing so does very bad things to the rest of my body. So everytime I went back to bed last night I couldn't get comfortable and kept waking up in pain. I stopped using my snoogle a couple months ago, once my belly got big enough to anchor me down, I no longer needed it to keep me on my side, and since Emily came home she's been sleeping in it during the day on the couch. But last night I decided to steal it back.....Oh my God, best sleep of my life. I was so comfy, I think I fell asleep in a nano second.
Well, speaking of, I better get my butt to bed and get at least an hour of sleep before the beast awakens....I mean, my sweet baby girl.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Our first solo trip
Emily and I went out by ourselves for the first time today. I was a little nervous but everything went great. But boy am I sore, who would have thought a few hours out would make me feel like I ran a marathon. I'm super tired and my back hurts a little, which is crazy because I went the whole 9 months, even the last few with a huge belly and no back pain (no lower back pain anyway) and now just one day of getting her carseat in and out a few times and I'm in pain.
So first we went to my doctor appointment to check my incision. My nurse said it looked great and I am healing well, and confirmed that my soreness is normal...there was a lot of pulling and pressure to get her out so it's normal to still be sore. It's enough to notice, but I am not in extreme pain or anything. The only time I am in a lot of pain is when she is crying and I jump out of bed without being careful, or when I sneeze. I try to avoid sneezing at all costs.
I still had a ton of sticky crap all over my tummy from the bandages so my nurse got that off for me. I was joking that they were going to think I never shower. Ok, so I don't get a chance to shower often, but I did today and it was so wonderful to be clean and not smell. I know, TMI, but between spilled breastmilk, formula and just regular yuck, I'm not feeling the sexiest these days but I guess that's the life with a newborn: you always smell.
So my doctor came in and right away she says, "you look like you've lost a lot of weight, are you eating"? I said um, not really. So I got in trouble for that, lol. It's so hard though, either there is nothing in the house to eat, or I am busy with Emily or I am pumping or washing bottles or choosing sleep over eating, or like right now trying to cram in a few minutes of "me" time while she's blissfully sleeping.
I weighed myself the day after we got home from the hospital and I had lost 8 pounds, but according to the scale today I've lost 27! I've been eating pretty crappy, but I only eat on average one meal a day. The weight loss is great, but it's obviously not the healthiest way to do it. But hopefully now that she's two weeks old and I'm starting to get a hang of things, I can start eating better and more often. She and I went for a walk the other day, and again today so now that the weather is getting nicer hopefully we can get some daily exercise. I got a picture with Emily and my two nurses; so glad they were both in today. I love them and I'm so happy they got to see her and get a picture. So now I have a picture with both my doctors and both nurses.
I've been trying to cut dairy since I think she is sensitive to it. Since it's not out of my system yet she's been getting just formula (soy) and I've been freezing all of my milk. I hope to be able to donate it, but it's so frustrating to pump multiple times a day (which I hate doing) and she can't even drink it. Then today I screwed up and had a yogurt and cheese, so I guess I have to start to clock over again on how long I have to go with no dairy before I can give her breastmilk again.
So after the doctor we went to see grandpa. He made me a fried bologna sandwhich and then we went for a walk. He's so adorable with her. Not that my dad is a hardass all the time, but he's not super mushy and emotional but he is a complete mushball with her. He calls her sweetie pie and cutie and talks baby talk to her and snuggles with her. It's really adorable.
So first we went to my doctor appointment to check my incision. My nurse said it looked great and I am healing well, and confirmed that my soreness is normal...there was a lot of pulling and pressure to get her out so it's normal to still be sore. It's enough to notice, but I am not in extreme pain or anything. The only time I am in a lot of pain is when she is crying and I jump out of bed without being careful, or when I sneeze. I try to avoid sneezing at all costs.
I still had a ton of sticky crap all over my tummy from the bandages so my nurse got that off for me. I was joking that they were going to think I never shower. Ok, so I don't get a chance to shower often, but I did today and it was so wonderful to be clean and not smell. I know, TMI, but between spilled breastmilk, formula and just regular yuck, I'm not feeling the sexiest these days but I guess that's the life with a newborn: you always smell.
So my doctor came in and right away she says, "you look like you've lost a lot of weight, are you eating"? I said um, not really. So I got in trouble for that, lol. It's so hard though, either there is nothing in the house to eat, or I am busy with Emily or I am pumping or washing bottles or choosing sleep over eating, or like right now trying to cram in a few minutes of "me" time while she's blissfully sleeping.
I weighed myself the day after we got home from the hospital and I had lost 8 pounds, but according to the scale today I've lost 27! I've been eating pretty crappy, but I only eat on average one meal a day. The weight loss is great, but it's obviously not the healthiest way to do it. But hopefully now that she's two weeks old and I'm starting to get a hang of things, I can start eating better and more often. She and I went for a walk the other day, and again today so now that the weather is getting nicer hopefully we can get some daily exercise. I got a picture with Emily and my two nurses; so glad they were both in today. I love them and I'm so happy they got to see her and get a picture. So now I have a picture with both my doctors and both nurses.
I've been trying to cut dairy since I think she is sensitive to it. Since it's not out of my system yet she's been getting just formula (soy) and I've been freezing all of my milk. I hope to be able to donate it, but it's so frustrating to pump multiple times a day (which I hate doing) and she can't even drink it. Then today I screwed up and had a yogurt and cheese, so I guess I have to start to clock over again on how long I have to go with no dairy before I can give her breastmilk again.
So after the doctor we went to see grandpa. He made me a fried bologna sandwhich and then we went for a walk. He's so adorable with her. Not that my dad is a hardass all the time, but he's not super mushy and emotional but he is a complete mushball with her. He calls her sweetie pie and cutie and talks baby talk to her and snuggles with her. It's really adorable.
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