On days like today, when Emily is unusually fussy it just makes me wonder. What, what is so bad in your life that makes you scream like your hand is being chopped off? Are you hoping for a different flavor bottle today? Is your diaper pinching you? Is your hair too fuzzy after a bath? Maybe you don't enjoy the color of your footie pajamas?
It breaks my heart to see my daughter cry but sometimes you just have to have some humor. I started her bath and bedtime routine early tonight because she just wouldn't settle down, but even that didn't knock her out like it usually does. My secret weapon has failed me tonight. Her eyes were looking a little heavy so I put her down, and 25 minutes later she looks to be asleep on the monitor, but I am guessing this means she won't sleep until 4 like usual.
Sorry to all the stay at home moms out there, but I used to wonder what you all did all day. Ha, now I know. Right now unless I have someplace to go, I usually go back to bed around 8 or 9 after she eats until about 11. Some days we sit around the house, other days we go to Target or grocery shopping or for a walk, but it usually takes at least two hours to get us both ready. On the days we don't go anywhere time gets away from me; if she is extra fussy I hold her most of the day and change and feed her, and before I know it it's 9pm, I haven't showered and I still haven't pumped for the day.
I used to think if I didn't have to work, I would have a spotless house and dinner on the table at 5pm each day. I'd like to think that could happen as she gets a little older, but once she's mobile I imagine I'd be chasing her around all day and picking up after her. And I am only a "stay at home mom" for another month and a half and then I go back to work. In some ways I look forward to it....getting back into a routine, having things to look forward to (everyday at 5pm and the weekend) and having some time to myself so I can eat in peace and pay bills on time.
But I'm really dreading going back. Three months off seemed like such a long time before but now it's going by so fast. Plus they have me going back a day early, that Friday instead of Monday. I guess in a way it will be good, I can just dip my toes in, spend most of Friday answering everyone's questions about how little sleep I am getting, go through my three months worth of email, and look forward to it being the weekend and spending two days with my baby. But at the same time, I feel like that last week will be ruined because I'll be dreading going back instead of trying to enjoy my last week.
But I have to go back sometime right? For right now I am enjoying being off, and being Sunday night knowing everyone else is dreading Monday morning but I get to spend tomorrow shopping and having lunch with my stepmom.
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