I have a lot to write about from this weekend, but I am way too tired but I wanted to share a mommy moment I had today. We went up north to my family's place for the 4th and today we went to the beach. I took Emily into the bathroom to change her into her suit, and I had her stand up on the bench to put her bottoms on.
She is so good at walking while holding onto something and standing, but she is very uneasy trusting her own balance, so while I tried wiggling her suit on, she clung to my neck for balance. I'd been going to that beach since I was a little kid, ever since I was born really, and nothing has changed. The bathrooms, changing stalls, everything is as it was for the last 36 years. And I realized as I was helping my daughter into her swim suit, my mom had done the very same thing in that very same spot with me.
I hadn't had a moment like this yet....I mean, I often think of my mom when I am taking care of Emily. Wondering if she watches over us, wondering if she is proud of the mom I have become, and understanding some of the things my mom said and did when I could never ever understand them before I was a mom. But this was the first time I did something that my mom did, in the very same spot. Even in my parents' house, things look different now, new furniture, different layouts of the rooms, so this hadn't struck me until today. It was both a very sad but very touching moment at the very same time.
I can remember exactly how it felt to cling to MY mom and how I used to make her stand in the doorway because back then the changing stalls didn't have doors or curtains (ok so one thing changed), I can remember her green bathing suit that she wore all the time, and how safe I felt in her arms and the wonderful memories I have of her. I hope I am creating those same memories for my daughter. I miss her <3
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