Friday, January 8, 2016

An open letter to labor and delivery nurses

I read a blog post earlier today from a L&D nurse and it moved me to tears.  I will never forget the nurses that cared for me during both my daughter's stillbirth and my other daughter's live birth.  I wrote them thank you cards and participated in the thank a nurse program at my hospital, but I thought I would write something for every L&D nurse out there, just to express my gratitude.



Dear Labor & Delivery nurses,

In a black and white world, you are a virtual stranger, just another person in the workforce, getting paid to do their job.  But for me and so many other moms and loss moms, you're angels in disguise.  The world may think you just take vitals, administer medicine, and inform doctors of their patients' status, but we know better.  You held my hand when I was shaking from pain and fear while the epidural was put in, you likely knew the grim news, but you offered me reassurance when I couldn't handle the truth, you talked to me like a human being, like I was the most important person on the earth in that moment, as if you hadn't said those same words to hundreds of other laboring mothers.  You encouraged me while I pushed, and told me I was doing great when I felt like I had no clue what I was doing.  You did the job nobody would want to do, a sponge bath, because you knew in my darkest moment, even the act of being cleaned up and dry would give me some comfort.

You treated my angel with such care you would think she was made of glass.  You encouraged me to take pictures, because they would be the first and last time I would see my sweet girl.  You didn't blink an eye when I asked if my daughter could be with us overnight, and you comforted me when you found me holding her and crying early the next morning.  You promptly came to my room to turn off whatever it was in myy IV that was beeping, so I could get back to sleep, even though you probably had a million other things to do.  You showed my brother to a private room where he could grieve when you found him crying in the hall.  You showed me pictures of your six living children, and shared your own story of multiple losses to give me hope that good things can and do happen.

You called after I was home to see how I was doing.  You listened to me cry, and didn't try to fix me.  You asked my daughter's name, and asked about her funeral services.  Your heart ached for me when I heard a baby's heartbeat in another room when I came in for my post-natal appointment.

During my labor of our living daughter, you understood my tears rolling down my face, and my fears when others would think I should be overjoyed.  You understood the physical pain I was in, even though you couldn't feel it yourself.  You assured me you would be with me in the OR, because I was scared and I needed a friendly face on my side of the curtain.  You offered humor with your badge holder that said, labor and delivery nurse, at your cervix! and kindly scratched my nose for me when my arms were strapped down during my Csection.  You warmed me up when I was so cold I was trembling.  You celebrated our little girl with us, because you knew our first born was in Heaven.  Even though you weren't the same nurse that took care of me and my angel, I know you were celebrating with us, because the day or week before you were mourning the loss of someone else's angel.

Given how you cared for us and comforted us, it is evident that we are not just a job for you, that starts and ends at a certain time.  I know we, and our angels and babies stay on your minds.  But please know, your hard work and love of your job stays on our minds too.  You didn't just do your job for us because you get paid, it is obvious that you put all of your heart and soul into your job, and I could not be more thankful for you.  Whenever I think of the devastating yet magical day I met my first daughter, and the amazing day I met my second daughter, I think of my wonderful nurses too and it never ceases to amaze me how loving and caring they are to total strangers, most of which they will never see again, and how much their job isn't just a job to them.

******


The same can also be said about my doctors and OB nurses.  They are all just wonderful, to the point where I would never consider going anywhere else.  We sent our OB and RE pictures of Emily every Christmas, and my RE always sends a nice letter in return.  This year she wished us a Merry Christmas, and she said her holiday season had been made much better when she received Emily's picture and how much she enjoys getting to see the pictures of the families she helps create  :)





 


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