Disney and time out

Well we had a great time at Disney.  We got home a week ago.  We spent four days at the parks; Epcot, Hollywood Studios and two days at the Magic Kingdom.  I do regret not going to Animal Kingdom a little bit.  I think Em would have really liked it, and we were kind of bored at Hollywood Studios.  Or maybe we should have sprung for the park hopper that day.  Anyway, Em met so many characters, a bunch of princesses like Cinderella, Rapunzle, Belle, and she also met Alice and Tinkerbell.

She did good with them, but she is pretty new to the princess world.  She did start saying princess a month or so ago, and gets excited when she sees them on TV, but I think the fact that they were real people weirded her out a bit.  She loved the characters though.  She met Goofy, Pluto, Donald, Daisy, and of course her favorite, Mickey and Minnie.  She got to meet them, along with Goofy twice because we did a meet and greet at Epcot the first day, and then on our last day we had dinner at Chef Mickey and she met the whole gang.

For anyone going there, I highly recommend Chef Mickey (our reservations were for 5, practically walked right in, but the line was huge as we were leaving).  It's a fun atmosphere, very good buffet for both adults and kids, and all of the characters make the rounds and each one goes to each and every table for at least a minute or two to interact with the kids, take pictures and sign autographs.  Definitely an awesome way to round out our last day.  I was excited to go to Disney since the whole family was going, but I has my reservations about spending so much money and Emily being so young.

My SIL and her family, their kids are 9 and 6 so they obviously got a lot out of it, and it will be their first and only trip.  So I was a little anxious about spending all this money for a trip that Em won't remember, and then possibly even going again some day when Em is older, or if we have another kid.  I don't doubt that my niece and nephew had a great time being older, but Emmy really did get more out of meeting the characters I think.  At their age, it was probably cool, but they likely know they're not real.  But for Em, it was like Mickey and Minnie stepped out of the TV and she got to meet them.  I am sure it was amazing for her, and we have great pictures to show her some day.  She wasn't afraid of them like I worried, but she wasn't real eager to go up and hug them.  But by the time she met them again at Chef Mickey she was much more comfortable, she honked all of their noses, poked their eyeballs, showed them her eyes, and Goofy had her absolutely cracking up.

Plus it was just an all around nice family trip.  Em is with me all day long, every waking minute but she doesn't see Ryan as much when he is sleeping.  But during that week she got to spend 24/7 with both of us.  She's still a mama's girl, but they got to bond a lot that week.  Now when daddy leaves the room, she calls for him, and she'll go to daddy when she is hurt as much as she'll go to me.  It was also great seeing her play and interact with her cousins, they're such good big cousins, holding her hand and walking with her, making her laugh.  I also loved seeing her with her Nana and Papa all week.  Since we flew with them, and they watched her sometimes when we went on rides she couldn't go on, she got to spend a lot of time with them too.  I got this picture of her and Nana, Em was giving her raspberries on her cheek and they were both laughing so hard together.  It's a precious picture.  I know saving money and spending it wisely is important, but I saw this meme the other day.  It said take vacations, you can always make more money but you can't always make more memories.  So true.

We only made it swimming once which was disappointing, but Emily had fun.  It was a little chilly but I am glad we went since we didn't get another chance.  Every day we were just so busy at the parks.  The kid is a dare devil.  Last fall in Chicago I taught her to hold my hands and jump into the pool from the deck.  So we did that this time too.  But then I took my hands away and I tried to get her to jump into my arms without holding my hands.  She was scared at first so I didn't push it, but then she tried it and loved it.  She was still a little more comfortable holding my hands, but within a few minutes she would just jump into my arms and sometimes I wasn't even ready for it.  I hope she stays this way and doesn't have my fear of water.

So we spent one day just relaxing when we changed hotels since we didn't want to shell out the cash of staying on the resort once we were done at the parks.  Our resort hotel was cute though.  We stayed at the Art of Imagination and we were in the Little Mermaid rooms.  Outside there were giant statues of Ursula and King Triton, there were statues of the dinglehopper (the fork) and the snarfblat (the pipe) along with that statue of Prince Eric.  Our room was also themed, the headboard on our bed was like a shell, there were pics of Ariel's friends on the walls, Ariel herself was on the shower curtain, the bathroom mirror was under the sea-like.  Very cute.

Friday we went to Sea World.  That was a lot of fun.  It was still a lot of walking but it was still like a relaxing day, after four days at Disney, Sea World felt tiny and it wasn't nearly as crowded.  We saw the Shamu show, we got Emmy a stuffed whale which she named Shampoo (she had just learned the word, so when we told her his name was Shamu, she of course called it shampoo).  We saw a sea lion show, ate dinner next to the shark aquarium.  The next day we flew home.  The flights weren't great.

There was some problems with checking us in for our flight going, so despite being at the airport in plenty of time, we were running to our gate and they were threatening to give our seats away.  We were already running late, but of course my diaper bag had to get red flagged and they took forever to search it.  I had forgotten about some sunscreen that was over the limit.  I had my MIL and FIL take Em to the gate while we waited for the bag, since we still had to buy some snacks and milk for Em.  The gate agents were asking them if they would go without us if we didn't get there soon.  My MIL was like no, it's a family vacation and this is their kid!

Emmy did pretty well on that flight.  Her ears bothered her on take off, but not bad, and then the seat back screen kept her entertained for most of the flight.  Her ears hurt a lot while we descended and then thankfully she fell asleep a minute or so before we landed.  The flights coming back weren't as good.  She was not listening to me, she kept taking her seat belt off and standing up in her seat, wanting to climb all over me.  Laughing and shrieking and then yelling and crying when she didn't get her way.  I normally do not give a shit what people think about her tantrums when we're out in public, but on a plane it was different.  I was stuck with those people for 2 hours, she literally did not listen to a thing I said, and I used to be that person that judged people with noisy kids on airplanes.

Then on landing her ears were hurting a lot so I had her in my lap, but this bitchy flight attendant came by and scolded that she had to be in her seat and her seatbelt on.  I put her in her seat, but she started screaming and crying from the pain, so I said fuck it and brought her back into my lap.  I was hoping the lady would come back so I could bitch her out.  We bought Emily a seat but since she is under two we didn't have to.  So if we hadn't bought her a seat, she would have been perfectly fine in my arms, so that woman was just being a bitch and not bothering to ask how old she was.

Besides, I am all about safety, but let's face it, if we crashed, not being in her seat likely wouldn't make a difference.  She was in pain and upset and I am going to choose comforting my baby vs following BS rules for the unlikely event of a crash.  So, I am not looking forward to flying again in the near future.  In fact I don't think we will until she is much older.

This week I have been so unproductive, but I think I needed a lazy week.  It's true, you really need to have a vacation from your vacation.  We got up early most days, walked a lot.  I figure we walked about 20 miles that week.  But this coming week I've really got to get back into my routine.  I guess I just need to blast some caffeine into my system the minute I wake up, otherwise I am useless in the morning.  Like yesterday, I sat in the recliner while Em played, but I was so tired so I had her snuggle with me while we watched a movie so I could doze.

I see on pinterest all the time these stay at home mom schedules, so I read one yesterday.  I was shocked at how rigid it was.  It was like 8-8:30, breakfast, 8:30-9 constructive play, 9-9:30 arts and crafts while mommy does laundry, 9:30-10 snack time......I mean, if it works for some people that's great.  But it is not for me.  I know routines are important and we have a loose routine, but seriously, that seemed like a schedule kids would have at daycare.  This isn't daycare.  I feel like that is part of the beauty of being a stay at home mom and your kids getting to be home with you.  They'll have to be told what to do and be on a schedule their entire life, why not let them just play and be kids for now?

I mean of course there are times where we do a planned thing, like painting, or going outside, or for a walk.  But Em plays so well on her own that I enjoy just letting her do what she wants to do.  And this woman only allowed like 30 minutes a day of screen time.  I know it's a hot issue and some parents don't allow it, and others like me do.  To each their own, but I just don't see the big deal.  I mean, I don't agree with using the TV as a babysitter, and once the weather is nice I will definitely get her outside more and when she is old enough to play outside by herself she will definitely be out there instead of sitting in front of the TV.

But I feel like by allowing her unlimited screen time, it doesn't make her want to watch it that much.  If you severely limit it, kids will want more of it.  But if she's allowed to watch whenever she wants, she won't really feel the need to.  Besides, there aren't that many shows that she really gives her undivided attention to anyway.  She likes Mickey's clubhouse, but she'll play while it's on and pay attention here and there.  Sophia and Doc McStuffins and Paw Patrol she pays attention to even less.  Bubble Guppies and Sheriff Callie she will stop what she is doing and watch the whole episode, but usually just the one.  If another one comes on she'll only somewhat pay attention.  And the shows are educational, I see her repeating stuff she learns from there.  It's not like cartoons of our childhood where Wiley Coyote was just trying to kill the roadrunner all the time and Bugs Bunny was always blowing people up with his acme dynamite (though I will admit, I miss those shows a bit).  I watched them and turned out fine.

I just remember as a kid, my mom stayed home with me, and I was also a good independent player.  We would do arts and crafts, she would take me to the library and we would bake together, but I recall a lot of the day just being free for me to play how I wanted, and I loved it.  Like I said, to each their own and I do need to be a bit better with being productive and having a routine, but a rigid schedule is definitely not for me.

So recently we started doing time outs with Emily.  We do spank when it is something either dangerous, or she is deliberately not listening or doing something bad, but for more every day lesser offences, I think time out is a good thing.  Yesterday Em was eating a bowl of olives and she took the bowl and dumped them all out on the floor.  I told her to pick them up several times but she was blatantly not listening.  We hadn't worked out a time-out spot and all that jazz yet, so I made her sit in her Minnie Mouse chair.  Though this was the first and last time.  She loves that chair so we don't want to turn it into the naughty chair (I just said that in my head with an english accent like super nanny).

I heard someone else does 30 second time outs with their almost two year old, so I figured that sounded good.  It took about 5 minutes and physically putting her back in the chair several times, but finally she sat there for the period.  When I let her up I told her that she was in time out for dumping her olives on the ground and I asked her to please pick them up.  She promptly sat down on the floor and picked up each and every olive and put them back in the bowl.  I thanked her and gave her a big hug and a kiss.  I was like holy shit, it worked!  It was like that feeling, where you always hear that something can work, and you think maybe it can but your doubtful because sometimes talking to a toddler is like talking to a wall.  But then it works and it's like yes, victory!

So today she kept grabbing an empty pop can and we told her no several times.  We took the cans from her and a few minutes later she went after the cans again.  We don't want her to have them since she's popped the tab off before and put them in her mouth, and she has cut herself on the can opening.  So I told her she would have to go in time out and my husband said to put her in the corner of the couch.  This was a great idea because our couch is L shaped, so it's very cushy so when I have to keep putting her back there, it's harder for her to get hurt.  She loves to run on the couch which she isn't supposed to do.  So if time out on the couch brings up some negative feelings about the couch, then that's not such a bad thing.

So again it took several tries of putting her back there before she would sit still for 30 seconds.  She kept getting up, or laying down and laughing, thinking it was a game.  But when she finally calmed down, she really looked like she knew she was being punished.  After 30 seconds I said she could get up and I told her why she was in time out and I gave her a hug and a kiss and she hugged me back.  It was amazing.  It was like win one for the parents!!

Missing mommy

My dad so graciously took my little bug today so I could spend the day painting the kitchen.  He even came and picked her up so I could get an earlier start.  The painting is done, almost.  I've only got one square spot above the window which I debated on skipping altogether, but decided it will bug me if I don't do it.  Em goes to her Nana's on Wednesdays so I will be able to finish up, and put the kitchen back together.  Then we just have to do the backsplash and the kitchen will be DONE!

The new tile floor was put in last winter, we got a new counter top, sink, and a few more cabinets last summer, and this painting job has been looming over me for a year now.  I so badly wanted to finish it before Em's birthday party last year, and here I am barely getting it done for her party this year.  I will be so happy to cross this project off my list.  Especially since I've had to look at two sections of new paint for a year now.

My dad had to make some angled boards to attach the baby gate to because the walls it screws into are different angles from each other.  Before he put the boards and gate up, he had me paint around it so the gate wouldn't need to come down when I eventually painted the room.  So I've had to look at two, 1 X 3 sections of cream colored paint, on my old white walls all this time.  It drove me nuts, I looked at those spots every day for a year and now they finally blend in with the rest of the wall!

So anyway, Em seemed a little unsure of leaving today.  I always drop her off at grandpa's so I don't think she knew what to make of him picking her up today.  Plus she was over there a lot longer than usual.  I guess when she fell and hurt herself earlier my dad was hugging and consoling her and she kept whining, mommy, mommy.  Awww, breaks my heart.  When I went to pick her up, she was extra happy to see me, and made me follow her into the kitchen where she kept pointing to a picture of me on the fridge and saying mommy.

Then when we were getting ready to leave, she got upset, I guess thinking I was leaving without her.  She does very well at both grandparents' houses, but it makes me feel good that she missed me.  She stood up on the couch and my dad told her to sit on her butt, and she started crying.  He didn't even yell, just told her no.  I was like awww honey, that's nothing.  Wait till your 17 and you go out with your boyfriend and he doesn't know where you are.  Now that's worth crying over, lol.  My dad worked midnight's when I was growing up, so I was used to pretty much being able to do whatever I wanted once he left for work, and my mom was in bed.  One night my dad was home, and my boyfriend came by so I told my dad I was going to sit in his truck with him in front of the house.  After a bit he wanted to drive around, so we did.  When my dad paged me at 2am, I knew I was in trouble for leaving.  We pulled up in front of the house and he was sitting on the porch with his arms crossed, looking pissed as hell.  I so did not want to get out of the car.  I didn't often get in trouble, and when I did my dad usually wasn't real mad, but this time he was mad!  Poor Em will get it from all angles, her overprotective daddy, two grandpas and an uncle!

  I hope it's not too hard on her to go to Nana's tomorrow and be away from me again.  But Nana missed her day last week because I had pink eye and I didn't want to go over there and infect anyone.  Luckily neither Emily or Ryan caught it.  I have never ever had pink eye before, I wonder where I picked it up from.  Weird.  But lately my eyelids have been super itchy and dry, and I wonder if it is from my make up, which is a different brand than I used to wear.  So maybe since I have been rubbing my eyes a lot more, I was more susceptible to the pink eye.  I wore eye make up the day before I got it, so it sucks that I have to toss it all.  But if that's what has been making my eyelids so itchy, I guess it is better to toss it and try a different brand.

I saw this on facebook today, I thought it was pretty funny and accurate:

I cannot stand the mommy wars and the nursing vs formula debate.  That's great if you were able to/want to nurse.  But don't make women who can't or chose not to feel bad, or act like you're superior for nursing your baby.  Because we all know, it won't be long before your wonderfully nourished with mother's milk baby starts eating cat food, boogers, crayons and God knows what off the floor.  Most kids, like mine, will not eat a lot of foods, especially healthy ones.  My kid hates meat.  If we try to sneak some chicken into her mac n cheese, her mouth can somehow filter through it, eat the noodles and spit out the chicken.  She lives on mac n cheese, go-gurt, and crackers.  Sure, it's great to give them that great start in life of breastmilk, but my mostly formula fed kid is doing just fine, she's happy, healthy, and smart and she's never even had so much as a cold (knock on wood).

I tried to nurse Em but I couldn't do it.  She would literally push me away.  But I also hate when women say, well it's one thing if a woman cannot nurse, but everyone should at least try.  Why?  Why should they?  I can understand if your baby was born sick, or was a preemie, it might be a good idea to give them that extra boost if you can.  But if your baby is perfectly healthy and you choose to formula feed, because you just don't want to nurse, I don't see why it is anyone's' business.  I don't want to bring up an abortion debate, but many many women who are pro-choice stick to the argument that it is the woman's body, therefore it is her choice what to do with it.  If so many people are ok with ending their pregnancy because it's their right to do with their body as they please, why is it suddenly not ok to choose not to nurse?  After all, it's my body.  Maybe I don't want a baby dangling off my boobs 24/7 for the next year.  Why is that even up for debate?  Why is what we do with our bodies no one else's business in one instance, but in another, you're condemned for choosing to keep your body to yourself ?  It's not like the baby is going to starve, formula is a perfectly acceptable alternative.

When Emily was born I definitely wanted to try nursing and I was dissapointed that it didn't work out.  I admit, I gave up pretty quickly, maybe I should have tried harder, but being a new mom was hard enough.  Besides, as it turns out she couldn't handle my milk anyway until she was about 6-8 months old.  I pumped for six months, and albeit it wasn't much, she did still get some breastmilk in addition to her formula bottles.  But her poor tummy was so upset and she cried all night due to gas for the first few weeks.  I tried to cut dairy out of my diet, but it was difficult.  I already wasn't eating much due to being so tired and busy with her, so to block out a huge food group was pretty hard.  I often forgot and ate dairy anyway, or ate something that I had no clue had dairy in it.  Graham crackers.  Did you know graham crackers has dairy in it???

But once I switched her to soy formula and started freezing all my pumped milk, her tummy troubles calmed right down.  So even if I had had success with getting her to latch, eventually I would have had to give up anyway because neither she nor I could go many more nights with no sleep and her crying and screaming all night long with gas pains.  But if we decide to have another....I don't know.  I may very well not even try to nurse.  I might change my mind and give it a shot.  Who knows, another baby might latch just fine, and have no tummy issues.  It would be nice to be able to just get up in the middle of the night and go nurse instead of making a bottle, and not have to wash bottles, and not buy formula, and not pump.  But, I have a lot of anxiety and worries about having another kid.  So if being a mom to a newborn and a toddler is really difficult for me at first and the idea of trying to nurse is causing me too much stress, I will have no problems with going straight to formula.

So speaking of another....I've lost a little of my baby fever.  I'm starting to waver a little.  But the thought that does still have me thinking of having another is, I won't regret having another, but I might regret not having another.  I mean sure, I can imagine almost every day when I am pregnant again, thinking and worrying if it was a good idea.  But once a new baby is here, I'll never say man, I wish I had stopped at Emily.  I was very indifferent to Emily's arrival for a lot of reasons, and she drives me crazy on a daily basis, but even during the worst tantrums and the least amount of sleep, I have never ever ever regretted my decision to have kids.

But....a magic kingdom baby isn't going to happen.  I thought maybe it would be fun to try and see what happens while we're there, but no.  Which kind of sucks because I finally got my period today after going off the pill at the end of December, so if my body decides to cooperate, I could very well ovulate while we're there in two weeks.  But I am just not ready.  I don't even think I am ready to try in March like we always talked about.  I really really want to get some weight off first.  I've been trying to lose for a long time, and I haven't done great this last week or so because I was sick last week and now this week our kitchen is torn apart, so we're getting take out.  But I did really well with my diet and exercise for a few weeks prior.  I finally feel like I have my drive back, the will to actually work hard to make it happen, vs just wishing I could snap my fingers and be skinny...though I admit, that would be soooo nice ;)

My overall goal will take a while, but if I could get pregnant once I've lost just half of my goal, I think that would be a good compromise.  It's not where I want to be, but it will be a lot less than what I weighed going into both my other pregnancies, and maybe that weight loss could be the difference in not being diabetic again.  So, we'll re-visit the topic in June-ish.