I just wasted 15 minutes of my life reading comments (ok, and commenting) about the pictures on this site
http://social.diply.com/great-images-of-women-breastfeeding-their-babies?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=batdad
Now, I am all for breastfeeding IF YOU CAN DO IT. Emily wouldn't latch, and maybe I gave up too quickly, but after being tired, and stressed out, and in pain, and freaked out about her having dropped an entire pound from birth to her first ped appointment, there was no way I could power through and essentially give her no food until she would latch and start nursing.
But, I did still want to give her some nourishment of my breast milk, so she got formula but I also supplemented with the little pumped milk I was able to provide. But still, that was my personal preference and I give no judgement toward a mother who chooses to exclusively formula feed if she cannot nurse or pump (hell, I don't judge even if she can do those things, but simply chooses not to). I adhere to, fed is best....any which way or how.
So, I will say that I of course see nothing wrong with nursing, I agree that it is not a sexual thing, and I see nothing wrong with nursing in public. I don't even think women should have to use a cover if they don't want to or the baby doesn't like it, provided that they don't flop their boob out, let it hang there for a few minutes and then put the baby on, all the while walking around Target with their shirt totally pulled down for all to see even with the baby "covering them". Yes, feed your baby. No, don't freak out about covering every inch of yourself for modesty sake, but completely exposing yourself for attention is not necessary.
Neither are these pictures, and I find if ridiculous that people do them and defend them. Wait, let me clarify. The pictures are fine, I guess, if that's your cup of tea, but plastering them online for all to see is for no reason but attention. If it really were about the promotion and beauty of nursing, then there would also be photo shoots of women pumping, or treating their dry, sore cracked nipples with lanolin. Hell, I've got a couple gross pictures of my c-section that my husband for whatever reason decided was a Kodak moment, let's start posting those! If it's for the natural beauty of it all, then C-section pics should be the next big thing right? After all, c-section mommas get a lot of shit for "taking the easy way out", and not "really" giving birth, so let's start a trend of posting beautiful and natural pics of the baby being pulled out of womens' guts after being sliced open. What is more natural than being born? Yes, not all women give birth, some of their children are born from their heart through adoption or step-families, but ALL children are birthed from A woman...somehow I bet people wouldn't be as eager to do these "natural" pics.
Or maybe instead of pictures, they could make glass walls of ORs so people could actually view babies being born, how beautiful and cool would that be? Instead of standing at the glass and cooing at newborns in the nursery, let's bring their arrival out from behind closed doors. After all it's natural and should not be hidden.
That's about as dumb as I feel these nursing pics are. Though I actually think #4 is beautiful. That's the kind of nursing pic I could be on bored with. It looks more realistic but also artful and beautiful, the woman is not stark naked as she does not need to be, and I highly doubt any women actually nurse their babies stark naked anyway (as in pic #9, oh sorry, she's wearing a sweater, my bad), unless maybe they are just "naked people" that would be waking around their house naked anyway.
#3 scares me...and not in a "that's a creepy nursing pic", but more of a "are her children vampires and are they attacking her"kind of way. I think it's the older boob kid and the much older kid going for her jugular, I mean to kiss her on the cheek, that gives it that look.
So of course the comment section was filled with people like me that are like, yeah nursing is fine, taking pics of nursing is fine, but making them sexual (#9 I'm talking to you) and putting them online is the issue.....and then there are the people claiming WE are the ones making it sexual (again, no need to be naked and do your hair and make up and pose in front of a window if NOT trying to make it more than it is) and it's art and it's beautiful and not for attention (yes, because the very first thing I do when I do NOT want attention, is take off my clothes, do my hair and make up, have a photo shoot and then post the pics online).
But, clearly this post was meant to invoke controversy and debate since they used pic #9 as the "cover pic" for the article, which is arguably the most attention whorish and sexual one, rather than #4 because they know most people won't read the article before they start arguing (as I did not at first) and #9 is much more of a shit stirrer.
Anyway, to each their own, but I...and I think many others would just prefer people are honest. For example, Playboy. I don't give a flying fuck about Playboy. They make no excuses or apologies about posing naked. It's either for the money, the fame, or the attention. Good for them. I even bought my husband a subscription of Playboy once. I don't care to look at it, but I have no problem with people that do, or the women that pose in it. I likely wouldn't bat an eyelash at that "nursing"pic if the caption read "I am totally full of myself and I need attention so I stripped down to my birthday suit so I could take a pic and show it off, and used my kid to cover up my need for attention". Or, "I wanted to show off and I also want an attaboy for feeding my child, like millions of women have been since the beginning of time". At least then I could say ok, good for you. I wish I had a body that I would want to photograph like that. But to claim it's to show the natural beauty of breastfeeding, give me a break.
Wednesday, September 20, 2017
Saturday, September 9, 2017
Future Team USA member
Emily started gymnastics today and I think she liked it a lot. I am amazed at the progress she has made since starting daycare at the gym and doing ballet. On the first day of ballet it took a little bit of coaxing for her to go out on the floor without me, she barely moved the entire class, and that was all with us getting to stay in the room that first day.
But today we got ready and she was like la di da, just got ready and went with it. I'll admit, I was a little nervous for today's class. My husband couldn't come today, he had to take our camper to get it fixed, so I had to take her alone. I am an odd contradiction of fiercely independent....and I need someone to come with me the first time...like to anything. It took me weeks to be brave enough to go use the drive-thru pharmacy by myself for the first time. But once I've done something, I am fine from then on...and even if I have to do something the first time by myself, I don't like it, but I do it and then all is well. I was just a bit anxious this morning, not knowing what to expect.
Unlike her ballet class, gymnastics is ongoing, so when you want to start, you just sign up and start on the first of the month (usually, they were closed last week for the holiday). So rather than all of the kids starting this class together, Emily could have very well been the only new kid, and these other kids could have been going there for months now, and all knew each other. I was also a bit nervous about the mom situation. Was I coming into an already established mom-clique?
Please, I watch too much TV apparently. This is freaking Michigan suburbia, not LA. The moms were fine, none of them looked like a Stepford Wife, none of them looked polish or like they had to cancel their mani/pedi to bring their kid to gymnastics. In fact no one even talked to each other....the class was just three other girls, so of course, just three other moms and we just sat there and watched our kids.
When her teacher first came out and called her class, she took me by the hand and said come come, wanting me to come in with her. But there, they don't even do the first class with the parents. Her class, the itty bitty monkeys (how damn cute is that?) is without parents, but the class below, the tiny monkeys, is like a mommy and me class where the parents participate too. But those are mostly 1 and 2 year olds, for us to have done that, we would have had to start a year or two ago. But as soon as I told her I'd be watching from that room, she happily took off with her teacher and other classmates. They started with some stretching and I saw her immediately do her "butterfly" which she learned in ballet where you sit with your feet touching and then "flap" your legs up and down. I saw her sitting there chatting away with her teacher. It was soooo cute!.
It's such a worry off my shoulders to see that she isn't as shy as I was as a kid. I was painfully shy. I had terrible anxiety over things, to which I usually suffered in silence because I didn't want anyone to know how much anxiety I had. I obviously still have it today as I said, but it's much better. Fake it till you feel it is my motto. When I was her age, I would have had stomach aches before starting a new class like that, I would have been so worried and nervous. I can remember dreading swim lessons every day in the summer. This was my thought process....what if my class is in a different spot from yesterday (you went out onto the pool deck and located your teacher and class sitting on towels), what if I couldn't find them, what if I had to wander around the pool deck looking for them, what if the other kids were all better than me, what if they made me go underwater, what if they made me dive in the water, what if I couldn't find my mom after class, what if she left and doesn't come back to get me.....yeah, it sucked. Having that much anxiety is not fun and once it became apparent that Emily is pretty shy, I was very worried about her having my anxiety.
While she is shy, she is so much faster to warm up than I was, and I don't think the shyness hits her until the moment, so I don't think it dawns on her to be anxious or nervous to things as we're headed there. If she was nervous this morning, I totally couldn't tell. I worried about her shyness and being an only child, but I am starting to wonder if it helps her, and if having an older brother, an older brother who is 4 years older no less, actually hurt me in terms of being shy and so nervous. I can't think of much of anything that I went to as a kid that he didn't go to as well, so I likely hit behind him, and used him as my crutch. Since Emily is, for all intents and purposes, an only child, she doesn't have anyone to hide behind and she is forced to do things. Regardless of why, I am so glad it appears as though she doesn't suffer from shyness as badly as I did.
She did really well, she tried almost everything the teacher asked her to try, and only refused or stopped on a couple things when it was getting too scary. It was obvious one of the little girls has had gymnastics before as she was doing very well with everything, but the other two are either totally new, or relatively new. So Emily definitely was the most timid out of all of them to try certain things, I wouldn't say the other two girls are that much ahead of her experience wise. I took a video of almost every skill they did today. I am excited to do another video in about a month and see how well she does.
At the end they played in this pit with giant foam blocks, and they could also swing on a rope swing and then fall into the pit. She wouldn't do it though, and was already in the pit. I am not sure if she declined because she was afraid of the swing, or because she was just having too much fun in the foam pit. I think the latter because when they came out of class, she started crying, saying she wanted to go down the slide that led to the foam pit. But they have open gym for just $5 everyday for an hour after her class, so some days we'll stay and do that and she can just play on anything she wants and practice what she learned during class.
I'm so happy that she likes it so far, and she seemed to like her teacher and I caught her several times chatting up the other kids in class. I am so proud of my baby. Oh, and her teacher's name is Miss Kayla <3
But today we got ready and she was like la di da, just got ready and went with it. I'll admit, I was a little nervous for today's class. My husband couldn't come today, he had to take our camper to get it fixed, so I had to take her alone. I am an odd contradiction of fiercely independent....and I need someone to come with me the first time...like to anything. It took me weeks to be brave enough to go use the drive-thru pharmacy by myself for the first time. But once I've done something, I am fine from then on...and even if I have to do something the first time by myself, I don't like it, but I do it and then all is well. I was just a bit anxious this morning, not knowing what to expect.
Unlike her ballet class, gymnastics is ongoing, so when you want to start, you just sign up and start on the first of the month (usually, they were closed last week for the holiday). So rather than all of the kids starting this class together, Emily could have very well been the only new kid, and these other kids could have been going there for months now, and all knew each other. I was also a bit nervous about the mom situation. Was I coming into an already established mom-clique?
Please, I watch too much TV apparently. This is freaking Michigan suburbia, not LA. The moms were fine, none of them looked like a Stepford Wife, none of them looked polish or like they had to cancel their mani/pedi to bring their kid to gymnastics. In fact no one even talked to each other....the class was just three other girls, so of course, just three other moms and we just sat there and watched our kids.
When her teacher first came out and called her class, she took me by the hand and said come come, wanting me to come in with her. But there, they don't even do the first class with the parents. Her class, the itty bitty monkeys (how damn cute is that?) is without parents, but the class below, the tiny monkeys, is like a mommy and me class where the parents participate too. But those are mostly 1 and 2 year olds, for us to have done that, we would have had to start a year or two ago. But as soon as I told her I'd be watching from that room, she happily took off with her teacher and other classmates. They started with some stretching and I saw her immediately do her "butterfly" which she learned in ballet where you sit with your feet touching and then "flap" your legs up and down. I saw her sitting there chatting away with her teacher. It was soooo cute!.
It's such a worry off my shoulders to see that she isn't as shy as I was as a kid. I was painfully shy. I had terrible anxiety over things, to which I usually suffered in silence because I didn't want anyone to know how much anxiety I had. I obviously still have it today as I said, but it's much better. Fake it till you feel it is my motto. When I was her age, I would have had stomach aches before starting a new class like that, I would have been so worried and nervous. I can remember dreading swim lessons every day in the summer. This was my thought process....what if my class is in a different spot from yesterday (you went out onto the pool deck and located your teacher and class sitting on towels), what if I couldn't find them, what if I had to wander around the pool deck looking for them, what if the other kids were all better than me, what if they made me go underwater, what if they made me dive in the water, what if I couldn't find my mom after class, what if she left and doesn't come back to get me.....yeah, it sucked. Having that much anxiety is not fun and once it became apparent that Emily is pretty shy, I was very worried about her having my anxiety.
While she is shy, she is so much faster to warm up than I was, and I don't think the shyness hits her until the moment, so I don't think it dawns on her to be anxious or nervous to things as we're headed there. If she was nervous this morning, I totally couldn't tell. I worried about her shyness and being an only child, but I am starting to wonder if it helps her, and if having an older brother, an older brother who is 4 years older no less, actually hurt me in terms of being shy and so nervous. I can't think of much of anything that I went to as a kid that he didn't go to as well, so I likely hit behind him, and used him as my crutch. Since Emily is, for all intents and purposes, an only child, she doesn't have anyone to hide behind and she is forced to do things. Regardless of why, I am so glad it appears as though she doesn't suffer from shyness as badly as I did.
She did really well, she tried almost everything the teacher asked her to try, and only refused or stopped on a couple things when it was getting too scary. It was obvious one of the little girls has had gymnastics before as she was doing very well with everything, but the other two are either totally new, or relatively new. So Emily definitely was the most timid out of all of them to try certain things, I wouldn't say the other two girls are that much ahead of her experience wise. I took a video of almost every skill they did today. I am excited to do another video in about a month and see how well she does.
At the end they played in this pit with giant foam blocks, and they could also swing on a rope swing and then fall into the pit. She wouldn't do it though, and was already in the pit. I am not sure if she declined because she was afraid of the swing, or because she was just having too much fun in the foam pit. I think the latter because when they came out of class, she started crying, saying she wanted to go down the slide that led to the foam pit. But they have open gym for just $5 everyday for an hour after her class, so some days we'll stay and do that and she can just play on anything she wants and practice what she learned during class.
I'm so happy that she likes it so far, and she seemed to like her teacher and I caught her several times chatting up the other kids in class. I am so proud of my baby. Oh, and her teacher's name is Miss Kayla <3
Wednesday, August 2, 2017
Prima ballerina
I've been so busy lately with work and Emily and trying to keep this house in something resembling order, I haven't written in forever. I've been trying to work more during the day so that I can have actual time off, what a concept, after Emily goes to bed and I have been completely OBSESSED with Bates Motel, so most nights I am binge watching that until bed. And um, I might be on my second time through.
So anyway, I've been wanting to write about Emily starting ballet, but now I have to write about it, along with a rant about what happened tonight. But first, from the beginning. She loves it. I am so glad she does. She can be so shy so it just makes my heart burst when I see her excited for stuff and branching out and making friends. The first day was a little hard. There are about 5 or 6 other girls. Two or three of them were very into it, mimicking the moves being taught and even seemed to love the "spotlight". One poor little girl wouldn't let go of daddy's hand to go out onto the dance floor. They came again last week and the same thing, and I noticed they weren't there this week, so maybe they gave up. But, the class is all 3 year olds, but she could be just newly 3. There is a huge range of abilities and social skills for newly 3 and then almost 4 year olds.
Then there was Emily, and one other girl that got out on the floor, they tried, but they just didn't want to do anything. So she wasn't the best, but not the worst either. Em's feet were glued to the floor the whole time, haha. Or, I should say, it's not that she didn't want to do it, but Emily is very cautious. She likes to observe, and take things in and when she is ready, she'll do them. So that first class, she moved her little bottom maybe an inch when they were learning plies. The lobby of the studio has a bunch of things for sale like ballet clothes, bags, and stuffed animals. It was like Em's dream world, they have a ton of those big eyed Ty cats. So after class we bought her one. Note to self, do NOT promise your kid that they get one after every class. Hangs head in shame, what were we thinking?
She already had 4 or 5 of those cats at home, so once we got home she had all her cats lined up and she was telling them to "march march march" just like her teacher was telling them. Oh my fucking gosh, how cute is that? I used to do the same thing. I would cry and beg and plead to not go to swim lessons as a kid, but the minute I got home, Barbie was taught all of the things I had learned in class that day. And she looks so stinkin' cute in her little leotard, tights, ballet shoes and her hair up in a bun.
That first night, her Nana and Papa brought her to class since she spends Wednesdays with them, and Ryan and I met them there. We all watched her class and then we all went to dinner. Since then, my MIL has been picking her up on Wednesday mornings (instead of me dropping her off at her house) and then I pick her up from their house and take her to ballet, since often times my niece and nephew and SIL are still there swimming. It works out well because with her getting picked up late morning, it gives me time to get right to work and actually be productive while she is gone for the day. I always intend to get so much done on Wednesdays, but I end up sitting around the house in the morning, maybe getting out of the house in time to drop her off over there around 1, and then try as I might, I often spend at least an hour, or two...or three sitting around talking with my MIL. By then I am starving, grab some lunch on the way home and I have about 30-60 minutes to work before I have to get dinner started.
Being home with a toddler all day makes me starved for adult interaction. The same thing happens at my dad's, I swear I will only stay 30 minutes and then head home,but that almost never happens. So last week Em was much more relaxed and put more effort into copying the moves and moving around and being active in class. I wasn't surprised she kind of blossomed on the second week. My girl doesn't rush herself, she takes her time and does things at her own speed. Case in point, not walking 'till 18 months, ahhhhhh! I do believe that set the tone for how she is going to handle things for her entire life. That and the fact that she had to be forcibly removed from the womb! She was like nope, not ready yet!
So tonight, just like last week she was all excited for class and saying how much she likes her teacher and how she can't wait to dance. This just makes me so happy. I worry about her being an only child, and not being in school yet to make many friends. Although, she has gotten to be good friends with Anabella, my stepmom's great niece. She tries to get the two of them together to play every couple weeks. When they were smaller they just played in the same room, but not with each other. But now that they're a little older, they actually play together and for the most part get along....apparently Anabella kept taking her stuff last time they were together. Everything Emily would pick up, she would take from her, so after a while Emily got tired of it and pushed her.
I don't want to condone physical violence, but hey, sometimes you've just gotta pop someone to get the point across. I had to hide my smile when she told me she pushed her, because Grammy had already told me what happened and that she kind of had it coming. I DO NOT want Emily to be a bully, but I also don't want her to let people walk on her or for her to be a pushover. My stepmom sent me a really cute pic of the two girls together a couple months ago. How cute would that be to display that picture at their grad parties in 15 years if they are still besties?
So anyway, in the 14 or so months that Emily has been potty trained, she has never ever had an accident out in public. Well, today was the day apparently. I stupidly forgot to make her go potty before class, and about halfway through I was watching through the window, and I noticed Emily wasn't moving from the spot she was in to the join the other kids. I thought uh oh, is that a puddle on the floor? But her teacher walked by several times and seemed to be looking right at Em but she wasn't acting as though she was looking at pee on the floor. It's kind of hard to watch class through the mini blinds on the window, and with my contacts in, I felt like I kept going cross eyed, so maybe what looked like a puddle was just a shiny spot on the floor.
So then the teacher corralled all the kids on the other side of the room, and they appeared to be going into the next exercise, so I thought ok, I guess she didn't pee. But then a minute later she got the kids and walked them out of the room, and down the hall to the front desk....but Emily was still in the studio all by herself and the door was shut. I was confused. I thought maybe she was taking the kids out of the room, and then was going to go back in and clean up and talk to Em...but another minute passed and it became clear that she didn't realize Emily wasn't with them. At home, Em gets upset when she has an accident, and now she is left behind in the studio all by herself, and she isn't the type of kid that will say hey, and come running out of the room (except at home, haha). So I went in the room to get her, and took her to the bathroom to clean her up a bit. I don't happen to carry an extra leotard and tights on me, so the best I could do is blot her with paper towel. She kept saying, my teacher is waiting, I gotta go back to class....it wasn't super obvious that her leotard was wet, and it was just pee thankfully, not poop so I took her back out for the last few minutes of class. As we came back my husband motioned to me that class had moved to the studio down the hall.
I wasn't sure of the policy...like I know some daycares and such don't do diaper changes or potty runs, and I would assume at those places any messes are your responsibility. But here, I wasn't sure how that worked. So Ryan went to go ask if we should clean that up. Apparently the lady at the front desk told him she was headed there with a mop right then, and he was like I can do it so she handed it over. Ok, I know I know, when you offer, you should be prepared to be taken up on that offer...and I think he totally was. But in my opinion, if it's not the studio's policy that parents need to clean up potty accidents, I really don't think she should have let him do it. It may be kind of gross for someone else to clean up, but usually stuff like this is kind of embarrassing, so as a worker, as long as the parents are polite, I would insist on doing it. But, he did offer, so I can't really complain. Just glad I didn't have to do it.
Ordinarily I am really not embarrassed over stuff like this. Shit, or in this case, pee happens. She's 3, surely she isn't the first and won't be the last kid to pee during class. Had her teacher quickly lead Emily to the door and got my attention and told me what happened, she could have just gone on with class, or moved them like she did, and we would have slipped out to go clean up. But the way class was completely disrupted and had to parade down the hall and then into another studio, it was a bit embarrassing that it was because of MY kid who just pissed in the middle of the ballet studio floor.
So while we were there, I was mostly just embarrassed and trying to get Em cleaned up and back to class because she wanted to go back so badly. But on the way home, that all gave way and I was pissed. Surely that is not the proper way to handle an accident in class, and when working with toddlers, potty accidents, and other issues are bound to come up. Furthermore, I was pretty appalled that when in charge of only 6 kids, that her teacher made the mistake of not noticing she was left behind. Now, I'm not trying to make this out to be this huge thing. No, Emily was not scarred by being left in the room, BUT, she is in charge of those kids for that 30 minutes, and leaving a kid behind and going to another room is just not acceptable.
What if I hadn't been watching at the window? I wouldn't leave the area, but the window isn't that big, and some kids do better when they know their parents aren't watching. It is perfectly acceptable to go sit at a table, or in one of the chairs....and the doors to that studio are not visible from the lounge. So if I had been sitting down, I would have had no idea that any of this was going on, no one came to tell me my daughter had an accident, and she would have been left in that room alone for how long while class was going on in another room? I was going to call tomorrow and speak to someone, but they don't open till 4 or 5 and by then I'll likely be working. I didn't want to just let this go because I get busy and forget to call. I do think it's a nice studio, and I like her teacher otherwise, but if I say nothing, no one else will be aware that this happened and know to talk to her about what to do when kids have accidents.
So I sent a PM over facebook. I tried not to be all bitchy and be THAT mom. More than likely it was an honest mistake, and I know in a lot of cases, you don't know how to avoid or deal with a problem, until that problem comes up. Maybe her teacher is new to working with the 3 years olds. So I wrote what I thought was a nice, but firm concerned email, just wanting to address the issue and make sure that doesn't happen in the future.
To my surprise, I got a reply like 5 minutes later, and the woman (owner I assume) was very apologetic and assured me that she would talk to her teacher and make sure she understands what she should do in this scenario and she stressed that she wants to make sure we are happy and that they can serve us better. I was surprised....customer service isn't always top notch, so when you get really good customer service, it's a very nice surprise. She explained that the teacher is used to working with young kids, but likely just hadn't experienced an accident in class yet. That makes sense, she definitely did seem a bit rattled and didn't know what to do and now going forward they'll go over it with her and have a plan. This mama bear is happy.
I didn't want to crucify them for this one incident because so far I like everything about the studio and Emily enjoys it so much, but this just solidified it for me that it's a really great place. I would like to have her dance in the fall since she likes it so much, but she is only 3. I'd like for her to try different things and discover what she likes best. If she LOVES dance and ends up wanting to do it or something else exclusively and really excels, I won't discourage her. But I also do not have any grand visions of her going on to Juilliard. I think sports and activities should be fun, and I will push her to give it her all, but at the end of the day, I just want her to have fun and make friends and see what she can do and enjoy it.
So I am thinking maybe gymnastics or tumbling...or maybe that's the same thing, in the fall. Swimming this winter....when it's yucky and cold outside, I think she would enjoy taking lessons and still getting to swim even in the winter. Then next summer she can try tennis. I'm sooooo excited for that. My baby is becoming such a big girl!
So anyway, I've been wanting to write about Emily starting ballet, but now I have to write about it, along with a rant about what happened tonight. But first, from the beginning. She loves it. I am so glad she does. She can be so shy so it just makes my heart burst when I see her excited for stuff and branching out and making friends. The first day was a little hard. There are about 5 or 6 other girls. Two or three of them were very into it, mimicking the moves being taught and even seemed to love the "spotlight". One poor little girl wouldn't let go of daddy's hand to go out onto the dance floor. They came again last week and the same thing, and I noticed they weren't there this week, so maybe they gave up. But, the class is all 3 year olds, but she could be just newly 3. There is a huge range of abilities and social skills for newly 3 and then almost 4 year olds.
Then there was Emily, and one other girl that got out on the floor, they tried, but they just didn't want to do anything. So she wasn't the best, but not the worst either. Em's feet were glued to the floor the whole time, haha. Or, I should say, it's not that she didn't want to do it, but Emily is very cautious. She likes to observe, and take things in and when she is ready, she'll do them. So that first class, she moved her little bottom maybe an inch when they were learning plies. The lobby of the studio has a bunch of things for sale like ballet clothes, bags, and stuffed animals. It was like Em's dream world, they have a ton of those big eyed Ty cats. So after class we bought her one. Note to self, do NOT promise your kid that they get one after every class. Hangs head in shame, what were we thinking?
She already had 4 or 5 of those cats at home, so once we got home she had all her cats lined up and she was telling them to "march march march" just like her teacher was telling them. Oh my fucking gosh, how cute is that? I used to do the same thing. I would cry and beg and plead to not go to swim lessons as a kid, but the minute I got home, Barbie was taught all of the things I had learned in class that day. And she looks so stinkin' cute in her little leotard, tights, ballet shoes and her hair up in a bun.
That first night, her Nana and Papa brought her to class since she spends Wednesdays with them, and Ryan and I met them there. We all watched her class and then we all went to dinner. Since then, my MIL has been picking her up on Wednesday mornings (instead of me dropping her off at her house) and then I pick her up from their house and take her to ballet, since often times my niece and nephew and SIL are still there swimming. It works out well because with her getting picked up late morning, it gives me time to get right to work and actually be productive while she is gone for the day. I always intend to get so much done on Wednesdays, but I end up sitting around the house in the morning, maybe getting out of the house in time to drop her off over there around 1, and then try as I might, I often spend at least an hour, or two...or three sitting around talking with my MIL. By then I am starving, grab some lunch on the way home and I have about 30-60 minutes to work before I have to get dinner started.
Being home with a toddler all day makes me starved for adult interaction. The same thing happens at my dad's, I swear I will only stay 30 minutes and then head home,but that almost never happens. So last week Em was much more relaxed and put more effort into copying the moves and moving around and being active in class. I wasn't surprised she kind of blossomed on the second week. My girl doesn't rush herself, she takes her time and does things at her own speed. Case in point, not walking 'till 18 months, ahhhhhh! I do believe that set the tone for how she is going to handle things for her entire life. That and the fact that she had to be forcibly removed from the womb! She was like nope, not ready yet!
So tonight, just like last week she was all excited for class and saying how much she likes her teacher and how she can't wait to dance. This just makes me so happy. I worry about her being an only child, and not being in school yet to make many friends. Although, she has gotten to be good friends with Anabella, my stepmom's great niece. She tries to get the two of them together to play every couple weeks. When they were smaller they just played in the same room, but not with each other. But now that they're a little older, they actually play together and for the most part get along....apparently Anabella kept taking her stuff last time they were together. Everything Emily would pick up, she would take from her, so after a while Emily got tired of it and pushed her.
I don't want to condone physical violence, but hey, sometimes you've just gotta pop someone to get the point across. I had to hide my smile when she told me she pushed her, because Grammy had already told me what happened and that she kind of had it coming. I DO NOT want Emily to be a bully, but I also don't want her to let people walk on her or for her to be a pushover. My stepmom sent me a really cute pic of the two girls together a couple months ago. How cute would that be to display that picture at their grad parties in 15 years if they are still besties?
So anyway, in the 14 or so months that Emily has been potty trained, she has never ever had an accident out in public. Well, today was the day apparently. I stupidly forgot to make her go potty before class, and about halfway through I was watching through the window, and I noticed Emily wasn't moving from the spot she was in to the join the other kids. I thought uh oh, is that a puddle on the floor? But her teacher walked by several times and seemed to be looking right at Em but she wasn't acting as though she was looking at pee on the floor. It's kind of hard to watch class through the mini blinds on the window, and with my contacts in, I felt like I kept going cross eyed, so maybe what looked like a puddle was just a shiny spot on the floor.
So then the teacher corralled all the kids on the other side of the room, and they appeared to be going into the next exercise, so I thought ok, I guess she didn't pee. But then a minute later she got the kids and walked them out of the room, and down the hall to the front desk....but Emily was still in the studio all by herself and the door was shut. I was confused. I thought maybe she was taking the kids out of the room, and then was going to go back in and clean up and talk to Em...but another minute passed and it became clear that she didn't realize Emily wasn't with them. At home, Em gets upset when she has an accident, and now she is left behind in the studio all by herself, and she isn't the type of kid that will say hey, and come running out of the room (except at home, haha). So I went in the room to get her, and took her to the bathroom to clean her up a bit. I don't happen to carry an extra leotard and tights on me, so the best I could do is blot her with paper towel. She kept saying, my teacher is waiting, I gotta go back to class....it wasn't super obvious that her leotard was wet, and it was just pee thankfully, not poop so I took her back out for the last few minutes of class. As we came back my husband motioned to me that class had moved to the studio down the hall.
I wasn't sure of the policy...like I know some daycares and such don't do diaper changes or potty runs, and I would assume at those places any messes are your responsibility. But here, I wasn't sure how that worked. So Ryan went to go ask if we should clean that up. Apparently the lady at the front desk told him she was headed there with a mop right then, and he was like I can do it so she handed it over. Ok, I know I know, when you offer, you should be prepared to be taken up on that offer...and I think he totally was. But in my opinion, if it's not the studio's policy that parents need to clean up potty accidents, I really don't think she should have let him do it. It may be kind of gross for someone else to clean up, but usually stuff like this is kind of embarrassing, so as a worker, as long as the parents are polite, I would insist on doing it. But, he did offer, so I can't really complain. Just glad I didn't have to do it.
Ordinarily I am really not embarrassed over stuff like this. Shit, or in this case, pee happens. She's 3, surely she isn't the first and won't be the last kid to pee during class. Had her teacher quickly lead Emily to the door and got my attention and told me what happened, she could have just gone on with class, or moved them like she did, and we would have slipped out to go clean up. But the way class was completely disrupted and had to parade down the hall and then into another studio, it was a bit embarrassing that it was because of MY kid who just pissed in the middle of the ballet studio floor.
So while we were there, I was mostly just embarrassed and trying to get Em cleaned up and back to class because she wanted to go back so badly. But on the way home, that all gave way and I was pissed. Surely that is not the proper way to handle an accident in class, and when working with toddlers, potty accidents, and other issues are bound to come up. Furthermore, I was pretty appalled that when in charge of only 6 kids, that her teacher made the mistake of not noticing she was left behind. Now, I'm not trying to make this out to be this huge thing. No, Emily was not scarred by being left in the room, BUT, she is in charge of those kids for that 30 minutes, and leaving a kid behind and going to another room is just not acceptable.
What if I hadn't been watching at the window? I wouldn't leave the area, but the window isn't that big, and some kids do better when they know their parents aren't watching. It is perfectly acceptable to go sit at a table, or in one of the chairs....and the doors to that studio are not visible from the lounge. So if I had been sitting down, I would have had no idea that any of this was going on, no one came to tell me my daughter had an accident, and she would have been left in that room alone for how long while class was going on in another room? I was going to call tomorrow and speak to someone, but they don't open till 4 or 5 and by then I'll likely be working. I didn't want to just let this go because I get busy and forget to call. I do think it's a nice studio, and I like her teacher otherwise, but if I say nothing, no one else will be aware that this happened and know to talk to her about what to do when kids have accidents.
So I sent a PM over facebook. I tried not to be all bitchy and be THAT mom. More than likely it was an honest mistake, and I know in a lot of cases, you don't know how to avoid or deal with a problem, until that problem comes up. Maybe her teacher is new to working with the 3 years olds. So I wrote what I thought was a nice, but firm concerned email, just wanting to address the issue and make sure that doesn't happen in the future.
To my surprise, I got a reply like 5 minutes later, and the woman (owner I assume) was very apologetic and assured me that she would talk to her teacher and make sure she understands what she should do in this scenario and she stressed that she wants to make sure we are happy and that they can serve us better. I was surprised....customer service isn't always top notch, so when you get really good customer service, it's a very nice surprise. She explained that the teacher is used to working with young kids, but likely just hadn't experienced an accident in class yet. That makes sense, she definitely did seem a bit rattled and didn't know what to do and now going forward they'll go over it with her and have a plan. This mama bear is happy.
I didn't want to crucify them for this one incident because so far I like everything about the studio and Emily enjoys it so much, but this just solidified it for me that it's a really great place. I would like to have her dance in the fall since she likes it so much, but she is only 3. I'd like for her to try different things and discover what she likes best. If she LOVES dance and ends up wanting to do it or something else exclusively and really excels, I won't discourage her. But I also do not have any grand visions of her going on to Juilliard. I think sports and activities should be fun, and I will push her to give it her all, but at the end of the day, I just want her to have fun and make friends and see what she can do and enjoy it.
So I am thinking maybe gymnastics or tumbling...or maybe that's the same thing, in the fall. Swimming this winter....when it's yucky and cold outside, I think she would enjoy taking lessons and still getting to swim even in the winter. Then next summer she can try tennis. I'm sooooo excited for that. My baby is becoming such a big girl!
Friday, June 2, 2017
Coming out of her shell
We've had so much fun lately. Last week we took the Amtrak train to Ann Arbor and then spent the afternoon at the Children's Hand-on Museum. We could have easily driven, but the train station is close by and once there it was only half a mile walk to the museum, and Emily LOVES trains, so it was a fun way to spend the day. She was a little scared when it pulled into the station, but I think she adored being on a real train. And it was a nice, albeit expensive way to avoid traffic and finding parking.
The museum was SO much fun. I hadn't been since I was a kid and I barely remember it. I knew she'd have a good time, but I really had no idea how much fun she would have, and Ryan and I had a great time too. We only made it through the first floor and the toddler room on the mezzanine. They offer a fantastic deal for a year membership, AND it covers grandparents so they can take her without us as many times as they want. Since we still have three more floors to see, we got the membership. I'm excited to go back.
By the time we got back to the train station to go home, we were all whipped. Especially Ryan because he works nights, and we left a couple hours after he got home that morning so he didn't sleep all day. We got there about an hour early and then I got a text saying the train was delayed an hour, so we had an almost two hour wait. Then there was some confusion about there being another train coming in before ours, so long story short, we waited all that time, and then we almost missed our train because I thought it was the other one. Thankfully we were sitting outside and heard them yell, last call for train 352. Whew, I would have cried if after all that we missed our train.
The next day Emily and I met my friend and her two boys at the park so they could play, and we could chat. I'm so proud of her. We beat them there by a few minutes, so once I got her sunscreened-up, I told her she could go play, so she ran off and made a bee line for these three girls that were playing on the swings. Once the boys got there they all played, but then we decided to head over to another playscape across the park, so as we were leaving one of the girls yelled out, bye Emily! Oh momma is so proud, she made friends and they were sad to see her go.
When she was really little she beat other kids up, and then she went through a really shy stage, so I am thrilled to see her getting along with other kids and not being glued to my leg. She can still be shy, but I wasVERY shy when I was young. I don't want her to go through that. Life will be so much easier for her if she's not so super super shy. I am sure I would never have run over to 3 girls I didn't know to play when I was her age. Then my friend's oldest was playing with a girl about his age (7) and the two of them were running and climbing all over the playscape, and Emily was running after them yelling wait up guys, hey guys, wait for me! She did really well climbing up the "rock" pile, and I've noticed she's just much more open to playing on most everything now. Before she used to shy away from certain parts of the playscapes, not wanting to go down most slides and kept wanting me to play with her and even climb up in the structure. I don't think she even realized I was there half the time that day.
A couple days later we were playing in the front yard and the neighbor kids were out. She gets along really good with Daphne next door, who is also 7. It's nice because she takes Emily under her wing and kind of watches out for her and takes her by the hand to go play with certain things. It's too bad they all go to private school, it would be nice if she had an older friend that she knows once she starts school. But with the way schools are now, she likely wouldn't see her much anyway. When I went to school it was K-6 at one school, 7 and 8 at another and then 9-12. But in our city anyway, it's K-4, 5-6, 7-8, and 9-12. So when she starts Kindergarten, even if Daphne went to that school, it would only be for the one year and then she would move on to the 5-6 building, and then they would never be at the same school together ever again.
Then the little boy across the street came over and he and Emily kicked these big foam dice around the yard for a while. He's 5, so I think he is starting K this year, so he'll be in 2nd grade when she starts K. So at least she'll have one friendly face in the school....that is if he goes to public school, I don't know. I worry about this kid. We notice he crosses the street a lot without looking, and he also rides his power wheels out into the street, crosses to come over to our side, and he'll go down one driveway and drive in the street and then go up another one. Our street is residential, so 25mph, but most don't go that slow, and we live right near a curve. Someone comes around that curve too fast while he happens to be crossing or in the road....I'm afraid to think of what could happen.
His parents are almost never outside with him. I try really hard not to judge because parenting is so hard, and I don't want to be a helicopter parent, but I really don't think 5 is old enough to be playing out in the front yard by yourself, especially when you're a kid who doesn't do well with looking for cars before crossing the road. I really do think Emily could be trusted to know better, but never say never, and I still wouldn't let her be in the front yard at 5 by herself for more than a couple minutes. I am sure (I hope) they keep an eye on him from inside the house, but if the worst were to happen there is no way they could react and get outside in enough time to help him. And I am sure they are not watching him much of the time or he wouldn't be crossing the road like he does.
So while they were playing, Emily ran in the backyard to get something, so he followed her to help her get it. We've never formally met his parents, and she and him were in the backyard for a good 3-5 minutes. Had they looked out their window right then, their son would have been nowhere to be found. There is no way in hell Emily would get the opportunity to dissapear into someone's back yard of a family I have never even met. They just had a baby girl a few months ago. I'm starting to get rid of Emily's baby gear and clothes she has grown out of. Maybe one of these days I'll go over there, introduce myself and see if she could use any of the clothes or gear. I still don't know how to say to another mom "hey you're not watching your kid and he's going to get hit by a car one of these days", but if I at least formally meet her and maybe get to know her, maybe I can somehow bring it up. Or at least feel better about him coming over and being in our yard and them not knowing.
So he was riding his little F150 power wheels the other day. He's cruising down the street with his music on, his shades on....so cute, a little ladies man already. The older girls next door would hitch a ride in the back now and then, and Emily said she wanted to ride. I would have let her if he stayed on the sidewalk, but I wasn't about to let her ride with him when he goes out into the street. I never thought I would be telling my daughter no to going for rides with boys because they are irresponsible drivers already. She's only 3 for crying out loud, haha.
Speaking of power wheels, my dad got her one for his house last summer, used. He got it out the other day but despite charging it, the battery is dead. So yesterday she points at him and says you fix my car, ok? I can't drive it! Hahaha, she cracks me up.
Today we went and signed her up for summer dance class. It's only a 5 week program, but it will be a good intro to dance, and if she likes it, we'll consider a 6 month program this fall. I cannot wait to see my little ballerina in her leotard and ballet shoes! We also need to get her signed up for swim lessons, and then next summer she will finally be old enough for the tennis program I do in the summer. I say finally, but I've been looking forward to this since I found out they start little kids at 4....we weren't even married yet then, so it must have been at least 7 or 8 years ago. To think all that time has passed, and she is almost the age that she can enroll, that's crazy! I won't go all crazy sports mom, but I will confess, I will be a little crushed if she doesn't like tennis. It's one of my favorite things in the world, and it would be so awesome if she genuinly enjoys is too.
We had dinner at the mall tonight, and before that we let her play for a bit in the indoor play area there. The last time we were there was January I think....yeah because it was MLK day and I forgot kids would be off school and it was busy. But that time, she wanted us to follow her around the whole time, if any kid tried to use anything she was playing on she would back off and let them do it. I don't want her to be a bully but I also don't want her to get walked on. But today she took off playing, I watched as another little girl came up to her and asked what her name is and she said I'm Emmy, and the other one said do you want to play with me and she said yeah! Those two and another girl all took turns chasing each other around and playing. Ugh, my heart was bursting. My little girl is coming out of her shell!
Some of it could just be age, but I really think the daycare at the gym can take a lot of the credit. We don't go as often as I'd like to, but most weeks we go at least once. Being around other kids, and other adults that aren't us or the grandparents is so good for her I think. She's really blossoming. So happy we decided to join that gym. Some people seem to think it's odd that we're only doing one year of pre-school for her. Maybe if kindergarten were still half days, we would consider it. But with K being all day now, I don't really see the need for two years of Pre-k. Like I said, she's getting social interaction with other kids at the gym daycare, with dance coming up, the kids in the neighborhood, when she starts swim class, kids at the playground, my friends' kids, her cousins (who she'll see weekly once they're out of school) and tennis next summer.
Maybe if she were struggling with certain things like counting or ABC's or whatever, but I would say she is on track, if not a little ahead for her age. I know kids like school in the early years, but pre-school starts the lifelong commitment of things she has to do. First school, then a job, then school and a job, then college, then a career.....why not let her stay home one extra year before she starts all the has to's in life? Besides, she won't be my baby forever, I'd like the extra year with her too.
So we ditched the diapers at nap time about a month ago. She has done really well, I think she's only had one or two days where she had an accident. Some days remain "inconclusive" if she doesn't take a nap, but I think she's doing well. I made her a chart and she gets a star sticker after every nap that she wakes up dry. She still wears pull ups to bed but she gets a sticker for waking up with a dry diaper. That has been less successful, so I think we may pull the diapers all together soon. Like I suspected with the nap diapers, if she's got one on, she will be much more likely to go in it than if she didn't have it on. And in case of accidents, as I suspect there will be many at first, that's why we have a washing machine, and why I make the bed with two layers of sheets and waterproof liners.
Her Nana was going to buy her one anyway since she's bought all of her granddaughter's one, but I told her when we can be done with diapers for good, she'll get to go pick out an American Girl doll. I showed her the website and her face lit up. I clicked on one that looked similar to her and she says, I want that one! I said ok, well we're going to go to the store and you can look at them all and pick which one you like. She said that one, I want that one! I said well they have a lot to choose from, they have babies too, and when I brought a baby up she squealed and said that one, I want that one! The girl knows what she wants. A store just opened by us not long ago, but it's nothing like the Chicago one. Maybe when she is a little older we'll take a girls' trip there and she and her doll can have tea and get her hair done and pick out new clothes. Gosh I just love having a little girl. I'd have loved a boy as well, or if Emmy had been more of a tomboy, but the little girl in me squeals with delight that she's so girly and we have so much fun together.
The museum was SO much fun. I hadn't been since I was a kid and I barely remember it. I knew she'd have a good time, but I really had no idea how much fun she would have, and Ryan and I had a great time too. We only made it through the first floor and the toddler room on the mezzanine. They offer a fantastic deal for a year membership, AND it covers grandparents so they can take her without us as many times as they want. Since we still have three more floors to see, we got the membership. I'm excited to go back.
By the time we got back to the train station to go home, we were all whipped. Especially Ryan because he works nights, and we left a couple hours after he got home that morning so he didn't sleep all day. We got there about an hour early and then I got a text saying the train was delayed an hour, so we had an almost two hour wait. Then there was some confusion about there being another train coming in before ours, so long story short, we waited all that time, and then we almost missed our train because I thought it was the other one. Thankfully we were sitting outside and heard them yell, last call for train 352. Whew, I would have cried if after all that we missed our train.
The next day Emily and I met my friend and her two boys at the park so they could play, and we could chat. I'm so proud of her. We beat them there by a few minutes, so once I got her sunscreened-up, I told her she could go play, so she ran off and made a bee line for these three girls that were playing on the swings. Once the boys got there they all played, but then we decided to head over to another playscape across the park, so as we were leaving one of the girls yelled out, bye Emily! Oh momma is so proud, she made friends and they were sad to see her go.
When she was really little she beat other kids up, and then she went through a really shy stage, so I am thrilled to see her getting along with other kids and not being glued to my leg. She can still be shy, but I wasVERY shy when I was young. I don't want her to go through that. Life will be so much easier for her if she's not so super super shy. I am sure I would never have run over to 3 girls I didn't know to play when I was her age. Then my friend's oldest was playing with a girl about his age (7) and the two of them were running and climbing all over the playscape, and Emily was running after them yelling wait up guys, hey guys, wait for me! She did really well climbing up the "rock" pile, and I've noticed she's just much more open to playing on most everything now. Before she used to shy away from certain parts of the playscapes, not wanting to go down most slides and kept wanting me to play with her and even climb up in the structure. I don't think she even realized I was there half the time that day.
A couple days later we were playing in the front yard and the neighbor kids were out. She gets along really good with Daphne next door, who is also 7. It's nice because she takes Emily under her wing and kind of watches out for her and takes her by the hand to go play with certain things. It's too bad they all go to private school, it would be nice if she had an older friend that she knows once she starts school. But with the way schools are now, she likely wouldn't see her much anyway. When I went to school it was K-6 at one school, 7 and 8 at another and then 9-12. But in our city anyway, it's K-4, 5-6, 7-8, and 9-12. So when she starts Kindergarten, even if Daphne went to that school, it would only be for the one year and then she would move on to the 5-6 building, and then they would never be at the same school together ever again.
Then the little boy across the street came over and he and Emily kicked these big foam dice around the yard for a while. He's 5, so I think he is starting K this year, so he'll be in 2nd grade when she starts K. So at least she'll have one friendly face in the school....that is if he goes to public school, I don't know. I worry about this kid. We notice he crosses the street a lot without looking, and he also rides his power wheels out into the street, crosses to come over to our side, and he'll go down one driveway and drive in the street and then go up another one. Our street is residential, so 25mph, but most don't go that slow, and we live right near a curve. Someone comes around that curve too fast while he happens to be crossing or in the road....I'm afraid to think of what could happen.
His parents are almost never outside with him. I try really hard not to judge because parenting is so hard, and I don't want to be a helicopter parent, but I really don't think 5 is old enough to be playing out in the front yard by yourself, especially when you're a kid who doesn't do well with looking for cars before crossing the road. I really do think Emily could be trusted to know better, but never say never, and I still wouldn't let her be in the front yard at 5 by herself for more than a couple minutes. I am sure (I hope) they keep an eye on him from inside the house, but if the worst were to happen there is no way they could react and get outside in enough time to help him. And I am sure they are not watching him much of the time or he wouldn't be crossing the road like he does.
So while they were playing, Emily ran in the backyard to get something, so he followed her to help her get it. We've never formally met his parents, and she and him were in the backyard for a good 3-5 minutes. Had they looked out their window right then, their son would have been nowhere to be found. There is no way in hell Emily would get the opportunity to dissapear into someone's back yard of a family I have never even met. They just had a baby girl a few months ago. I'm starting to get rid of Emily's baby gear and clothes she has grown out of. Maybe one of these days I'll go over there, introduce myself and see if she could use any of the clothes or gear. I still don't know how to say to another mom "hey you're not watching your kid and he's going to get hit by a car one of these days", but if I at least formally meet her and maybe get to know her, maybe I can somehow bring it up. Or at least feel better about him coming over and being in our yard and them not knowing.
So he was riding his little F150 power wheels the other day. He's cruising down the street with his music on, his shades on....so cute, a little ladies man already. The older girls next door would hitch a ride in the back now and then, and Emily said she wanted to ride. I would have let her if he stayed on the sidewalk, but I wasn't about to let her ride with him when he goes out into the street. I never thought I would be telling my daughter no to going for rides with boys because they are irresponsible drivers already. She's only 3 for crying out loud, haha.
Speaking of power wheels, my dad got her one for his house last summer, used. He got it out the other day but despite charging it, the battery is dead. So yesterday she points at him and says you fix my car, ok? I can't drive it! Hahaha, she cracks me up.
Today we went and signed her up for summer dance class. It's only a 5 week program, but it will be a good intro to dance, and if she likes it, we'll consider a 6 month program this fall. I cannot wait to see my little ballerina in her leotard and ballet shoes! We also need to get her signed up for swim lessons, and then next summer she will finally be old enough for the tennis program I do in the summer. I say finally, but I've been looking forward to this since I found out they start little kids at 4....we weren't even married yet then, so it must have been at least 7 or 8 years ago. To think all that time has passed, and she is almost the age that she can enroll, that's crazy! I won't go all crazy sports mom, but I will confess, I will be a little crushed if she doesn't like tennis. It's one of my favorite things in the world, and it would be so awesome if she genuinly enjoys is too.
We had dinner at the mall tonight, and before that we let her play for a bit in the indoor play area there. The last time we were there was January I think....yeah because it was MLK day and I forgot kids would be off school and it was busy. But that time, she wanted us to follow her around the whole time, if any kid tried to use anything she was playing on she would back off and let them do it. I don't want her to be a bully but I also don't want her to get walked on. But today she took off playing, I watched as another little girl came up to her and asked what her name is and she said I'm Emmy, and the other one said do you want to play with me and she said yeah! Those two and another girl all took turns chasing each other around and playing. Ugh, my heart was bursting. My little girl is coming out of her shell!
Some of it could just be age, but I really think the daycare at the gym can take a lot of the credit. We don't go as often as I'd like to, but most weeks we go at least once. Being around other kids, and other adults that aren't us or the grandparents is so good for her I think. She's really blossoming. So happy we decided to join that gym. Some people seem to think it's odd that we're only doing one year of pre-school for her. Maybe if kindergarten were still half days, we would consider it. But with K being all day now, I don't really see the need for two years of Pre-k. Like I said, she's getting social interaction with other kids at the gym daycare, with dance coming up, the kids in the neighborhood, when she starts swim class, kids at the playground, my friends' kids, her cousins (who she'll see weekly once they're out of school) and tennis next summer.
Maybe if she were struggling with certain things like counting or ABC's or whatever, but I would say she is on track, if not a little ahead for her age. I know kids like school in the early years, but pre-school starts the lifelong commitment of things she has to do. First school, then a job, then school and a job, then college, then a career.....why not let her stay home one extra year before she starts all the has to's in life? Besides, she won't be my baby forever, I'd like the extra year with her too.
So we ditched the diapers at nap time about a month ago. She has done really well, I think she's only had one or two days where she had an accident. Some days remain "inconclusive" if she doesn't take a nap, but I think she's doing well. I made her a chart and she gets a star sticker after every nap that she wakes up dry. She still wears pull ups to bed but she gets a sticker for waking up with a dry diaper. That has been less successful, so I think we may pull the diapers all together soon. Like I suspected with the nap diapers, if she's got one on, she will be much more likely to go in it than if she didn't have it on. And in case of accidents, as I suspect there will be many at first, that's why we have a washing machine, and why I make the bed with two layers of sheets and waterproof liners.
Her Nana was going to buy her one anyway since she's bought all of her granddaughter's one, but I told her when we can be done with diapers for good, she'll get to go pick out an American Girl doll. I showed her the website and her face lit up. I clicked on one that looked similar to her and she says, I want that one! I said ok, well we're going to go to the store and you can look at them all and pick which one you like. She said that one, I want that one! I said well they have a lot to choose from, they have babies too, and when I brought a baby up she squealed and said that one, I want that one! The girl knows what she wants. A store just opened by us not long ago, but it's nothing like the Chicago one. Maybe when she is a little older we'll take a girls' trip there and she and her doll can have tea and get her hair done and pick out new clothes. Gosh I just love having a little girl. I'd have loved a boy as well, or if Emmy had been more of a tomboy, but the little girl in me squeals with delight that she's so girly and we have so much fun together.
Friday, May 5, 2017
A womb with a view
I couldn't sleep one night so I was browsing facebook trending news and I came across this story about artificial wombs. Reasearchers at Children's Hospital of Philidelphia have created an artificial womb in hopes of giving preemies and micro-preemies a second shot at life if they were born too early to survive outside of mom. Right now they are testing it on fetal lambs and it has allowed them to sustain life long enough for them to grow and develop more for the outside world. It's basically a fluid filled bag that brings them oxygen and replicates the safe and nurturing environement of the mother's womb.
I was amazed when I read this. I clearly remember thinking when Kayla was born, that I wish there existed some kind of bubble they could have put her in that would keep her safe and allow her to continue to grow, when my body could no longer do that for her, and here it is! This is exactly what I had wished for then. I'm not sure how long the baby could stay in there, I think I read that right now it's not meant to sustain life until term, but even giving the baby an extra couple weeks to develop their lungs could make huge strides in fetal demise.
The article said they are currently examining the lambs bodies (they had to be put down afterward for further testing) to make sure there isn't any kind of adverse affects on their brains and organs and they hope to begin using artificial wombs on pre-term human babies in as little as 3-5 years. I am just blown away by this. When I had that thought, it was in the back of my head that this could be reality some day, way way in the future, like 50-100 years from now, but to think this could come to fruition in just under five years is awesome. It would be 7-9 years too late for our girl, but if this could save even one family from going through the heartbreak that we did, then I am so happy for this extraordinary advance in medicine. Had this existed when I went into labor, they could have done a c-section since Kayla was breech and then zip her up in this giant ziplock and let her bake for at least a few more weeks. Imagine being able to see your baby inside the womb, outside of you.
Of course for moms who sadly find out that their sweet babies have already passed in utero, this won't help them. But the CDC estimates that one out of ten babies will be born prematurely. Of course not all of that statistic are micro-preemies....many of those could be babies born at 36 weeks who are perfectly fine, or even 30-35 weeks who are relatively ok and just need some time in an isolet in NICU (not that that is any less stressful for mom and dad I'm sure). But still, 10% of babies being born premature still means that's a lot of babies born during a time period in which this artificial womb could mean the difference between life and death. I would have given anything for Kayla to have just at least had a chance. For her to have a chance and the liklihood of her having any long term affects like vision or hearing problems, breathing problems, cerebral palsy, and developemental delays decreased because of the artificial womb allowing her to bake a little longer would have been absolutely amazing.
I'm sad that this couldn't benefit us, but I'm so happy and grateful that these amazing doctors and researchers could come up with something like this to save other babies. I have no idea if incompetent cervix is hereditary or why I had it, but knowing that the artificial womb could be in use for 12 years or more by the time Emily is grown and starts her own family is a comforting thought. My step-sister has cerebral palsy, she was born early too...my step-mom can't remember exactly how many weeks she was, but she didn't weigh much more than Kayla did, I think maybe a few more ounces (Kayla was 1 lb 1.6 ounces) so she must have been born somewhere around 22-24 weeks. Of course that was 45 years ago, so it's actually a miracle she even survived. But I see how she and my step-mom suffer from CP. Imagine families in the future not having to go through that, their children not having to live that life because of this.
Reading the comment section on the article was hard though....but I did it anyway, because I am glutton for punishment. Half the people didn't read the article and thought they were developing this so that rich people could grow their babies right from the start in an artificial womb. Even the ones that did understand that it's for preemies to have a chance at life, many people were of the opinion that "maybe mother nature gets it right and these babies shouldn't be saved". Ugh, I wish there was some spell you could cast on people who don't know what they are talking about so they would be physically unable to speak on the subject.
I did not go into pre-term labor because there was something wrong with Kayla, I went into labor because there was something wrong with my body. Off the top of my head, all of the reasons why women go into pre-term labor is because their body, or something affecting their body brings on labor, such as incompetent cervix in my case, a bacterial infection, hypertension, placenta abruption, etc. I suppose if the baby died in the womb because he had some condition like heart problems, trisomy 13 or 18, missing organs, etc. the body could go into labor, sensing that the baby has passed. But, in that case the baby would have already passed away when labor began and could not be saved. But I don't know how often the body does that. I know a lot of women who had to have D&C's or D&E's after their baby passed because the body did not go into labor on its own.
So more than likely, any baby born early enough to need an artificial womb is one that could and would continue to grow and develop in his mother's womb if allowed, so the mother nature argument is ridiculous. That's like saying the passengers aboard Titanic should not have been rescued by life boats or another ship because their ship was no longer able to keep them afloat. But, ignorant people who have no knowledge of the subject are usually the ones that are the most opinionated about it. If their baby was in danger of being born too early, I am sure their opinion would change. However, what I don't get is, I am certain many of the people with these heartless opinions do have children of their own. Why can't they think back to when they were pregnant, and think about what if they had gone into labor early and the doctor told them their baby wouldn't survive? Would they have said oh ok, that must be the way it has to be, mother nature must know what she is doing so I am fine with my baby dying. Ah, to be blissfully ignorant. Must be nice.
Anyway, here is the article for anyone that hasn't read it:
http://www.philly.com/philly/health/CHOP-artificial-womb-preemies-placenta-premature-baby.html
I was amazed when I read this. I clearly remember thinking when Kayla was born, that I wish there existed some kind of bubble they could have put her in that would keep her safe and allow her to continue to grow, when my body could no longer do that for her, and here it is! This is exactly what I had wished for then. I'm not sure how long the baby could stay in there, I think I read that right now it's not meant to sustain life until term, but even giving the baby an extra couple weeks to develop their lungs could make huge strides in fetal demise.
The article said they are currently examining the lambs bodies (they had to be put down afterward for further testing) to make sure there isn't any kind of adverse affects on their brains and organs and they hope to begin using artificial wombs on pre-term human babies in as little as 3-5 years. I am just blown away by this. When I had that thought, it was in the back of my head that this could be reality some day, way way in the future, like 50-100 years from now, but to think this could come to fruition in just under five years is awesome. It would be 7-9 years too late for our girl, but if this could save even one family from going through the heartbreak that we did, then I am so happy for this extraordinary advance in medicine. Had this existed when I went into labor, they could have done a c-section since Kayla was breech and then zip her up in this giant ziplock and let her bake for at least a few more weeks. Imagine being able to see your baby inside the womb, outside of you.
Of course for moms who sadly find out that their sweet babies have already passed in utero, this won't help them. But the CDC estimates that one out of ten babies will be born prematurely. Of course not all of that statistic are micro-preemies....many of those could be babies born at 36 weeks who are perfectly fine, or even 30-35 weeks who are relatively ok and just need some time in an isolet in NICU (not that that is any less stressful for mom and dad I'm sure). But still, 10% of babies being born premature still means that's a lot of babies born during a time period in which this artificial womb could mean the difference between life and death. I would have given anything for Kayla to have just at least had a chance. For her to have a chance and the liklihood of her having any long term affects like vision or hearing problems, breathing problems, cerebral palsy, and developemental delays decreased because of the artificial womb allowing her to bake a little longer would have been absolutely amazing.
I'm sad that this couldn't benefit us, but I'm so happy and grateful that these amazing doctors and researchers could come up with something like this to save other babies. I have no idea if incompetent cervix is hereditary or why I had it, but knowing that the artificial womb could be in use for 12 years or more by the time Emily is grown and starts her own family is a comforting thought. My step-sister has cerebral palsy, she was born early too...my step-mom can't remember exactly how many weeks she was, but she didn't weigh much more than Kayla did, I think maybe a few more ounces (Kayla was 1 lb 1.6 ounces) so she must have been born somewhere around 22-24 weeks. Of course that was 45 years ago, so it's actually a miracle she even survived. But I see how she and my step-mom suffer from CP. Imagine families in the future not having to go through that, their children not having to live that life because of this.
Reading the comment section on the article was hard though....but I did it anyway, because I am glutton for punishment. Half the people didn't read the article and thought they were developing this so that rich people could grow their babies right from the start in an artificial womb. Even the ones that did understand that it's for preemies to have a chance at life, many people were of the opinion that "maybe mother nature gets it right and these babies shouldn't be saved". Ugh, I wish there was some spell you could cast on people who don't know what they are talking about so they would be physically unable to speak on the subject.
I did not go into pre-term labor because there was something wrong with Kayla, I went into labor because there was something wrong with my body. Off the top of my head, all of the reasons why women go into pre-term labor is because their body, or something affecting their body brings on labor, such as incompetent cervix in my case, a bacterial infection, hypertension, placenta abruption, etc. I suppose if the baby died in the womb because he had some condition like heart problems, trisomy 13 or 18, missing organs, etc. the body could go into labor, sensing that the baby has passed. But, in that case the baby would have already passed away when labor began and could not be saved. But I don't know how often the body does that. I know a lot of women who had to have D&C's or D&E's after their baby passed because the body did not go into labor on its own.
So more than likely, any baby born early enough to need an artificial womb is one that could and would continue to grow and develop in his mother's womb if allowed, so the mother nature argument is ridiculous. That's like saying the passengers aboard Titanic should not have been rescued by life boats or another ship because their ship was no longer able to keep them afloat. But, ignorant people who have no knowledge of the subject are usually the ones that are the most opinionated about it. If their baby was in danger of being born too early, I am sure their opinion would change. However, what I don't get is, I am certain many of the people with these heartless opinions do have children of their own. Why can't they think back to when they were pregnant, and think about what if they had gone into labor early and the doctor told them their baby wouldn't survive? Would they have said oh ok, that must be the way it has to be, mother nature must know what she is doing so I am fine with my baby dying. Ah, to be blissfully ignorant. Must be nice.
Anyway, here is the article for anyone that hasn't read it:
http://www.philly.com/philly/health/CHOP-artificial-womb-preemies-placenta-premature-baby.html
Tuesday, April 25, 2017
Pre-school
Emily won't be starting pre-school until fall of 2018, but I've decided to start researching the ones in the area to see which ones we want to visit in a year when the open houses start. Oye, I had no idea pre-school was so expensive. We had already decided to do just one year of pre-school. I know school and education is important, but I just feel like, once she starts school, that starts off an entire lifetime of have-tos. Have to go to school, have to get a job, have to pay bills. Especially with almost all kindergartens being all day now, I figure why send her off to pre-school 3 mornings a week a year before she really has to. But now I am really glad we decided to only do one year after seeing the cost. Yikes!
And it's not like she is getting nothing. I am a firm believer in educating at home. I don't understand these parents that send their kid off to kindergarten not knowing their ABC's or colors or numbers. I get a kick out of teaching Emily stuff and watching her little brain absorb it and use things correctly. I found an alphabet border at the dollar store so I hung it up on the inside of her closet doors so we can quiz her on the letters. She can sing it perfectly fine (except she gets hung up on L, M, N, O, P, but what kid doesn't?) and she can point out, and recognize a lot of letters, but not all. I'd like to find her a numbers one too, and maybe I'll make her a day of the week chart.
I know she is pretty smart for her age, she began talking pretty early and has always had a large vocabulary but I was shocked when she had her 3 year old check up last month. So, she can solidly count to 15, she can make it to 20 but she stumbles a bit. Like I said she knows her whole alphabet song and knows every color you throw at her. The doctor was quizing me on what she knows and can do to make sure she is where she should be. She asked if she can count to at least 3, if she at least knows A, B, and C and if she can identify two or more colors. Wow. I have to say, I am always slightly nervous for doctor appointments. Nobody wants to find out their kid isn't performing at the level they should be. It made me a nervous wreck that she didn't walk till she was 18 months. But I was really blown away that those were the minimum requirements for a 3 year old and she can do so much more. Proud mommy moment.
Today she successfully identified whether several family members are boys or girls....except she kept insisting that aunt Sasa is a boy. Sorry Sasa, nothing personal I am sure. Em is nuts for her Uncle Joe Joe (my brother) and she loves Sasa too (my sister-in-law in case that wasn't obvious) but for a long time when she was younger she tended to just call them both Joe Joe, and would accept whichever one responded. Even now, she almost always calls her Sasa, but occasionally will say Joe Joe and will be talking to her, so I think that might be where some of the boy/girl confusion comes from regarding them. But a few weeks ago she really wasn't always sure on anybody so she's come a long way. Now watch, the whole "is so and so a boy or girl" thing will suddenly become a no no because we are "assuming one's gender".
So I think I have it narrowed down to two co-op preschools. They are the most affordable and the closest ones. I of course don't want to drive her all over town to go, but I am hoping if she goes to a pre-school nearby, some of her friends that she makes will also be going to the same elementary school and be in class together. Not much chance of that if she goes to pre-school 5 miles away. So anyway, she is getting some learning and social interaction by going to the daycare at our gym. We went today and I just love how we can walk in, she says hi and goes and gets the toys she wants and I just say love you, see you later and she says ok bye, love you. I am so proud of her for being so ok with me leaving her. She can be pretty shy, and I myself often cried when my mom dropped me off for pre-school. Lately I haven't been showering at the gym, because despite taking an almost ice cold shower and choosing the shower stall under the air vent, I am sweating again by the time I am doing my hair because it is always so hot in there. Doesn't make sense to bother showering there when I don't leave feeling any cleaner than if I hadn't showered. But even when I don't shower, she still gets a little over an hour to play, and I'm trying to make a real effort to go 3 days a week. So far it's mostly only 2, and lately just 1, but I am trying.
So, I figure between working with her at home and going to the gym daycare, she should be good to just go for one year of pre-school. So, once I swallowed the high cost, I can get on board with the co-ops but I am still floored at the cost of the non co-ops. Yeah it does sound tempting to send her somewhere that I don't have to do a damn thing, just drop her off and pick her up. Especially since I will be using her time at school to work and get things done. But, I do like the idea of being involved in her school, and spending time with her there and getting to see how she interacts and stuff, getting to know her teachers and other parents. Plus the requirements aren't THAT bad. Volunteer in the classroom 1-2 days a month, participate in a couple fundraisers, be assigned a classroom job (I'm gunning for laundry....I don't particularily like laundry, but it's sounds like the easiest and least time consuming) and go to monthly meetings. Not too bad. Plus I will occasionally delegate some of that to Ryan....if we have to volunteer twice a month, I think he should do one of them.
Of course, it helps that I work from home; I have NO idea how someone that works full time outside the home can do any of that. I guess they have no choice but to pay the big bucks and not do co-op so they don't have to use a ton of vacation time to volunteer and spend more of their precious little free time on pre-school stuff. Yeah Ryan sleeps during the day, but he CAN go to bed later so he could volunteer. We are both in a pretty unique position of being available during the day to do these things. So I guess the deciding factor between the two co-ops will just be the kind of reviews I can find, and the overall feeling I get from each open house.
So, I am sure most parents have seen those parenting memes/cartoons of the daddy duck and his baby ducks. They are SOOO funny, I laugh out loud at them all the time. There is this one that says "as a parent it is my job to make sure my child learns proper grammar and pronunciation of words" (or something like that) and then the baby duck holds up his foot and says, do you like my new boops and the dad says, Heck yeah I do! That's how I feel about her "Minnie Pittow". I want her to be well-educated and proper grammar and spelling is an obsession of mine (don't hold any typos in here against me, I try to catch any) but I love that she calls her pillow Minnie Pittow and I will be very sad the day she starts saying pillow. Back when I first started letting her use a pillow in her crib, I bought her this butterfly shaped pillow that was smaller than a traditional one for her little head....plus it was cute. She got a Minnie Mouse sleeping bag (she was obsessed with Minnie Mouse) and I planned to take it to our camper for her bed there, so I bought her this hot pink pillow with Minnie Mouse on it to match.
I forget how it happaned, but butterfly pillow is at the camper and Minnie Pittow came home with us and she has adored it ever since. She does use it as a pillow, but it has also sort of become her wubbie. She carries it around the house, she asks to take it with us in the car. I won't let her carry it outside the car, like in a store, so I think she has a pretty healthy relationship with it as far as wubbies go. She allows me to wash it, she isn't joined at the hip with it, but it does bring her comfort. It got taken away today though. Lately she has been locking her car door once we get somewhere, so when I get out and go to get her out, her door is locked. Not a biggie, I just unlock it with the fob...and I suppose if I somehow didn't have my keys, I have onstar on my phone. But it gets annoying, and if it were raining or I was in a bad mood, her locked door isn't something I want to deal with.
So on the way to the gym today I told her not to do that anymore or she will get in trouble. For the most part, I am very good at keeping my word. I try very hard not to make threats that I don't plan on carrying out, and if I occasionally do, I make her earn her way out of the punishment rather than renig. So when she did it again at the gym I said ok, I told you you're going to get in trouble, so that was your final warning. If you do it again, I am taking Minnie pittow. She got upset and said no, don't take it. I said well don't make me take it. Don't lock the door anymore and you won't have to worry about it. Well she apparently didn't believe me, so when we got home she locked her door. When I unlocked it I took Minnie Pittow from her. She cried for a bit and said I want Minnie Pittow! I said no, I told you what would happen and you did it anyway, so she is mine until your nap.
I am not brave enough to take it for the whole day because putting her down for nap would be hell without Minnie pittow, but if she does it yet again, I might have to, to get the point across. Hopefully taking it for a couple hours today did the trick.
I felt so bad today, I was making dinner and left the sliding screen door open to take some trash out. She saw me out on the deck and came running, saying I come I come....she must have thought the door was closed because she put her arms up like she was going to fall against the screen, and she literally just fell forward and face planted on the deck. Poor baby. Most people walk into sliding doors when they don't know they are closed, she falls out of one when she thinks it is closed.
Saturday we had to run a lot of errands so she didn't get a nap, and then when we got done we had to go to my brother's for dinner for his birthday. Like I said, she is nuts about him so she played with him non-stop, and we didn't end up leaving till almost midnight. I had no intention to stay so late, but she was having so much fun, I figured one night won't hurt. I had her go potty and put a pull up on, but I hadn't brought PJ's because I truly did not think we would stay nearly as late as we did. After she got her pull up on, she said no pants! I said ok, but when we leave, you have to put pants on. Lately she has a serious aversion to jeans, and that day she had on khaki type pants but they had an actual waistband and a button and zipper. So, not jeans, but not comfy stretch pants either. So finally I said come on, it's time to go and she ran into my arms crying and wailed, "I want soft pants"!!! It was so cute but broke my heart at the same time. I went out to the car and rummaged around, hoping by chance I had an extra pair of leggings for her but no. Any other time half her closet is in the car, but that night, nothing.
We didn't even have her blanket we normally keep in the car. It was like 50's out when we left, but chilly to not have pants on. So we borrowed a blanket from them and I wrapped her up in it to carry her out. Right when we get to the door to go out, she yells, where are my pants?! I need to be covered up! Lol, omg what a tool! So Uncle Joe Joe carried her out and snuggled her to keep her warm. So of course she fell asleep on the 25 minute drive home, but I can never get her out of her seat anymore without waking her up. By the time we got inside and the dog was all in our faces, she was awake. So I laid down with her and sang to her and she fell asleep. I tried going into stealth mode to get off her bed, but she woke up, crying, begging me to stay with her. So I stood there and sang some more, and she fell asleep again. I tried to open the door to get out, but I banged the door a bit and she woke up again! Ahhhh! They need to somehow make completely silent doors for kids' bedrooms. So I sang to her some more but finally I just had to leave and let her cry it out till she fell back to sleep.
So, no nap on Saturday and she didn't get to bed till about 1am that night. For the first time in a very long time, we had to get up early, at 6:30 to go to one of Ryan's 5Ks. So she only got about 5.5 hours sleep, when she normally gets 10-12. When we got home from the race, we had about an hour before we had to leave for our niece's 8th birthday party, but we decided we had to skip it. I hated to, her and Em love playing together and I felt bad missing her birthday, but it would mean yet another day with no nap for Em. Yeah, she likely would have slept on the way, but sleeping in her carseat is never as good of a sleep as in her bed and it's only a 30 minute drive. So we stayed home, I put her down for a nap....most days she naps 1.5 to 2 hours. That day she slept for 3.5! We also took naps because I was very tired as well. She went to bed a bit later than usual that night, but even after napping all that time, she still went down pretty easily and fell asleep quickly. I kept thinking we should have gone to the party, but missing even one nap turns her into a Gremlin, so no nap, two days in a row plus only 5.5 hours that night and inevitable sugar and excitement at the party. She would have been like a Gremlin X6. Speaking of, I had better get to bed before my inner Gremlin comes out.
And it's not like she is getting nothing. I am a firm believer in educating at home. I don't understand these parents that send their kid off to kindergarten not knowing their ABC's or colors or numbers. I get a kick out of teaching Emily stuff and watching her little brain absorb it and use things correctly. I found an alphabet border at the dollar store so I hung it up on the inside of her closet doors so we can quiz her on the letters. She can sing it perfectly fine (except she gets hung up on L, M, N, O, P, but what kid doesn't?) and she can point out, and recognize a lot of letters, but not all. I'd like to find her a numbers one too, and maybe I'll make her a day of the week chart.
I know she is pretty smart for her age, she began talking pretty early and has always had a large vocabulary but I was shocked when she had her 3 year old check up last month. So, she can solidly count to 15, she can make it to 20 but she stumbles a bit. Like I said she knows her whole alphabet song and knows every color you throw at her. The doctor was quizing me on what she knows and can do to make sure she is where she should be. She asked if she can count to at least 3, if she at least knows A, B, and C and if she can identify two or more colors. Wow. I have to say, I am always slightly nervous for doctor appointments. Nobody wants to find out their kid isn't performing at the level they should be. It made me a nervous wreck that she didn't walk till she was 18 months. But I was really blown away that those were the minimum requirements for a 3 year old and she can do so much more. Proud mommy moment.
Today she successfully identified whether several family members are boys or girls....except she kept insisting that aunt Sasa is a boy. Sorry Sasa, nothing personal I am sure. Em is nuts for her Uncle Joe Joe (my brother) and she loves Sasa too (my sister-in-law in case that wasn't obvious) but for a long time when she was younger she tended to just call them both Joe Joe, and would accept whichever one responded. Even now, she almost always calls her Sasa, but occasionally will say Joe Joe and will be talking to her, so I think that might be where some of the boy/girl confusion comes from regarding them. But a few weeks ago she really wasn't always sure on anybody so she's come a long way. Now watch, the whole "is so and so a boy or girl" thing will suddenly become a no no because we are "assuming one's gender".
So I think I have it narrowed down to two co-op preschools. They are the most affordable and the closest ones. I of course don't want to drive her all over town to go, but I am hoping if she goes to a pre-school nearby, some of her friends that she makes will also be going to the same elementary school and be in class together. Not much chance of that if she goes to pre-school 5 miles away. So anyway, she is getting some learning and social interaction by going to the daycare at our gym. We went today and I just love how we can walk in, she says hi and goes and gets the toys she wants and I just say love you, see you later and she says ok bye, love you. I am so proud of her for being so ok with me leaving her. She can be pretty shy, and I myself often cried when my mom dropped me off for pre-school. Lately I haven't been showering at the gym, because despite taking an almost ice cold shower and choosing the shower stall under the air vent, I am sweating again by the time I am doing my hair because it is always so hot in there. Doesn't make sense to bother showering there when I don't leave feeling any cleaner than if I hadn't showered. But even when I don't shower, she still gets a little over an hour to play, and I'm trying to make a real effort to go 3 days a week. So far it's mostly only 2, and lately just 1, but I am trying.
So, I figure between working with her at home and going to the gym daycare, she should be good to just go for one year of pre-school. So, once I swallowed the high cost, I can get on board with the co-ops but I am still floored at the cost of the non co-ops. Yeah it does sound tempting to send her somewhere that I don't have to do a damn thing, just drop her off and pick her up. Especially since I will be using her time at school to work and get things done. But, I do like the idea of being involved in her school, and spending time with her there and getting to see how she interacts and stuff, getting to know her teachers and other parents. Plus the requirements aren't THAT bad. Volunteer in the classroom 1-2 days a month, participate in a couple fundraisers, be assigned a classroom job (I'm gunning for laundry....I don't particularily like laundry, but it's sounds like the easiest and least time consuming) and go to monthly meetings. Not too bad. Plus I will occasionally delegate some of that to Ryan....if we have to volunteer twice a month, I think he should do one of them.
Of course, it helps that I work from home; I have NO idea how someone that works full time outside the home can do any of that. I guess they have no choice but to pay the big bucks and not do co-op so they don't have to use a ton of vacation time to volunteer and spend more of their precious little free time on pre-school stuff. Yeah Ryan sleeps during the day, but he CAN go to bed later so he could volunteer. We are both in a pretty unique position of being available during the day to do these things. So I guess the deciding factor between the two co-ops will just be the kind of reviews I can find, and the overall feeling I get from each open house.
So, I am sure most parents have seen those parenting memes/cartoons of the daddy duck and his baby ducks. They are SOOO funny, I laugh out loud at them all the time. There is this one that says "as a parent it is my job to make sure my child learns proper grammar and pronunciation of words" (or something like that) and then the baby duck holds up his foot and says, do you like my new boops and the dad says, Heck yeah I do! That's how I feel about her "Minnie Pittow". I want her to be well-educated and proper grammar and spelling is an obsession of mine (don't hold any typos in here against me, I try to catch any) but I love that she calls her pillow Minnie Pittow and I will be very sad the day she starts saying pillow. Back when I first started letting her use a pillow in her crib, I bought her this butterfly shaped pillow that was smaller than a traditional one for her little head....plus it was cute. She got a Minnie Mouse sleeping bag (she was obsessed with Minnie Mouse) and I planned to take it to our camper for her bed there, so I bought her this hot pink pillow with Minnie Mouse on it to match.
I forget how it happaned, but butterfly pillow is at the camper and Minnie Pittow came home with us and she has adored it ever since. She does use it as a pillow, but it has also sort of become her wubbie. She carries it around the house, she asks to take it with us in the car. I won't let her carry it outside the car, like in a store, so I think she has a pretty healthy relationship with it as far as wubbies go. She allows me to wash it, she isn't joined at the hip with it, but it does bring her comfort. It got taken away today though. Lately she has been locking her car door once we get somewhere, so when I get out and go to get her out, her door is locked. Not a biggie, I just unlock it with the fob...and I suppose if I somehow didn't have my keys, I have onstar on my phone. But it gets annoying, and if it were raining or I was in a bad mood, her locked door isn't something I want to deal with.
So on the way to the gym today I told her not to do that anymore or she will get in trouble. For the most part, I am very good at keeping my word. I try very hard not to make threats that I don't plan on carrying out, and if I occasionally do, I make her earn her way out of the punishment rather than renig. So when she did it again at the gym I said ok, I told you you're going to get in trouble, so that was your final warning. If you do it again, I am taking Minnie pittow. She got upset and said no, don't take it. I said well don't make me take it. Don't lock the door anymore and you won't have to worry about it. Well she apparently didn't believe me, so when we got home she locked her door. When I unlocked it I took Minnie Pittow from her. She cried for a bit and said I want Minnie Pittow! I said no, I told you what would happen and you did it anyway, so she is mine until your nap.
I am not brave enough to take it for the whole day because putting her down for nap would be hell without Minnie pittow, but if she does it yet again, I might have to, to get the point across. Hopefully taking it for a couple hours today did the trick.
I felt so bad today, I was making dinner and left the sliding screen door open to take some trash out. She saw me out on the deck and came running, saying I come I come....she must have thought the door was closed because she put her arms up like she was going to fall against the screen, and she literally just fell forward and face planted on the deck. Poor baby. Most people walk into sliding doors when they don't know they are closed, she falls out of one when she thinks it is closed.
Saturday we had to run a lot of errands so she didn't get a nap, and then when we got done we had to go to my brother's for dinner for his birthday. Like I said, she is nuts about him so she played with him non-stop, and we didn't end up leaving till almost midnight. I had no intention to stay so late, but she was having so much fun, I figured one night won't hurt. I had her go potty and put a pull up on, but I hadn't brought PJ's because I truly did not think we would stay nearly as late as we did. After she got her pull up on, she said no pants! I said ok, but when we leave, you have to put pants on. Lately she has a serious aversion to jeans, and that day she had on khaki type pants but they had an actual waistband and a button and zipper. So, not jeans, but not comfy stretch pants either. So finally I said come on, it's time to go and she ran into my arms crying and wailed, "I want soft pants"!!! It was so cute but broke my heart at the same time. I went out to the car and rummaged around, hoping by chance I had an extra pair of leggings for her but no. Any other time half her closet is in the car, but that night, nothing.
We didn't even have her blanket we normally keep in the car. It was like 50's out when we left, but chilly to not have pants on. So we borrowed a blanket from them and I wrapped her up in it to carry her out. Right when we get to the door to go out, she yells, where are my pants?! I need to be covered up! Lol, omg what a tool! So Uncle Joe Joe carried her out and snuggled her to keep her warm. So of course she fell asleep on the 25 minute drive home, but I can never get her out of her seat anymore without waking her up. By the time we got inside and the dog was all in our faces, she was awake. So I laid down with her and sang to her and she fell asleep. I tried going into stealth mode to get off her bed, but she woke up, crying, begging me to stay with her. So I stood there and sang some more, and she fell asleep again. I tried to open the door to get out, but I banged the door a bit and she woke up again! Ahhhh! They need to somehow make completely silent doors for kids' bedrooms. So I sang to her some more but finally I just had to leave and let her cry it out till she fell back to sleep.
So, no nap on Saturday and she didn't get to bed till about 1am that night. For the first time in a very long time, we had to get up early, at 6:30 to go to one of Ryan's 5Ks. So she only got about 5.5 hours sleep, when she normally gets 10-12. When we got home from the race, we had about an hour before we had to leave for our niece's 8th birthday party, but we decided we had to skip it. I hated to, her and Em love playing together and I felt bad missing her birthday, but it would mean yet another day with no nap for Em. Yeah, she likely would have slept on the way, but sleeping in her carseat is never as good of a sleep as in her bed and it's only a 30 minute drive. So we stayed home, I put her down for a nap....most days she naps 1.5 to 2 hours. That day she slept for 3.5! We also took naps because I was very tired as well. She went to bed a bit later than usual that night, but even after napping all that time, she still went down pretty easily and fell asleep quickly. I kept thinking we should have gone to the party, but missing even one nap turns her into a Gremlin, so no nap, two days in a row plus only 5.5 hours that night and inevitable sugar and excitement at the party. She would have been like a Gremlin X6. Speaking of, I had better get to bed before my inner Gremlin comes out.
Friday, April 14, 2017
Double dose
Emily apparently got a double dose of toddler today. Whew! It started with her doing something to get put in time-out, I forget what, and she peed on the couch. She doesn't do it often, but she "rage pees" as I like to call it. It's like the bodily fluids equivalent of holding your breath to get your way. Our poor couch has been peed on so many times (haha, I guess we should reconsider where her time out spot is....perhaps a chair in the kitchen. A wooden chair and ceramic tile is so much more conducive to cleaning up pee).
She was pretty good for the rest of the afternoon, and then I put her down for a nap. Once she was asleep I got started on my shredding I had to do with my work files. My filing cabinet was pretty full and I actually had time to do it today. I was watching her on the monitor to make sure it didn't wake her up, but it never had in the past. But then....she woke up! Crap! She had only been asleep for half an hour or less. Sometimes if she wakes early like that she'll go right back to sleep, but nope. After 5 or 10 minutes I could tell she wasn't going back to sleep, and I still had more shredding to do so I went in and got her.
She was good the rest of the afternoon, we dyed Easter eggs and she was very good about not touching the water or the glasses it was in since it was very hot water. Then around 6, which I call Emily cranky o'clock, the terrible three's set in. I was trying to get my office straightened up and she decided to bring all of the throw pillows in from the couch. My office is small enough, I didn't need all this crap in there when I was trying to clean. Then she tried grabbing the binder clip that keeps my phone charger from falling through the hole-thing in my desk. I told her no three times and she was still trying to grab it, so I sent her to time out. I heard her go in the living room and tell daddy, "mommy said no time out". My husband was like um, ok.
Finally I yelled out to him that I sent her out there to go time out. So he said to her, she did tell you to get in time out, so go. So that kicked off a good 15 minutes of crying in time out. Then she kept singing and talking way too loudly while we were trying to watch TV. Oh, and earlier when I was cleaning my office, she came in to say, momma I peed. It wasn't rage pee, but she peed on her bedroom floor. I had just taken her to the potty not long before that, so I was annoyed that she had to go again and didn't tell us. Most of the time she is so good, but then every once in a while I guess she gets too into what she is doing to stop and pee.
So after dinner I told her she had to pick up her toys tonight. I know part of it is our fault because we are not consistent and don't make her clean up every night. I just lose track of time, and before I know it we've barely finished dinner and it's already time for bed. If I am going to get her tucked in and stories read and everything and get done in time to start working by 9 or 9:30, most nights we don't think to have her pick up her toys until it is bedtime right now, and we don't have time for the Sloth on Ambien to take an hour to pick up 10 things. So, it doesn't get done, the living room always looks like a landfill, and she doesn't want to pick up her toys the few times we ask her to.
I tried to offer incentive....I gave her 15 minutes to get it cleaned up, and whatever time was left, she could play on my phone. So if she got it done quickly, she'd have at least 10 minutes to play. If she took too long, she got no time. This has worked in the past, but tonight she wasn't having it. She refused to even try picking them up, and kept telling me to do it. I kept telling her she wouldn't get any time to play on my phone, and if she didn't do what I said, she wouldn't get bedtime stories either. I felt bad about taking that away, last night we got home late from Grammy's and she hadn't had a nap, and I needed to work so I told her we were going to skip stories, and the next night not only would she get extra stories, but I would lay down with her for a while. She always wants me to lay with her and sing to her, but most nights I can't because I have to work, so I said I would tonight since I don't work on Friday nights.
But, I just couldn't give her EXTRA stories and lay down with her like she likes, after she deliberately refused to do what she was told. It would just feel like way too much of a reward for misbehaving. So of course as soon as I told her to get to bed, she started crying and begged to play on my phone. Then she asked, pick up toys? I said no, you missed your chance. I don't want her to think she can refuse to do what I say, and then still get the opportunity to behave and do what she is supposed to when I already told her she missed her chance and took away something good. If I do that, she'll never do things the first time I ask her. She did cry some when I tucked her in because of it all, but she actually took it pretty well. Most of the time, even on a good night I'll say goodnight and she'll smile and say goodnight and I say I love you and she says I wuv you and I say sweet dreams and she tells me to have sweet dreams. The second the door clicks closed, she starts wailing and crying.
This has been going on for about 2 or 3 months now. I can tell when it's a serious cry and she needs something, and when she just doesn't want to go to bed. Like when I put her down for nap, she insisted on taking her pillow case off her pillow and putting it on her legs like she was a mermaid. I tucked her in, closed the door, and whaaaa. But after a few minutes I could tell it was something more, so I went back in. She decided she did not want to wear her pillow case, and wanted it back on her pillow. But tonight, aside from a few tears when I told her no stories tonight, she did really well. No crying or yelling once I closed the door. I thought maybe it was because she was so tired and that she'd fall asleep quickly, but she was still awake for about an hour before she fell asleep. Maybe she realized she deserved no stories and decided to take it easy on me tonight. Haha, yeah right.
Tomorrow when she gets up from her nap we're going to take her to Baba's house for a sleepover. We want to put a bathroom in the basement, and our first step is to get plumbers over to give us a quote for digging the shower, sink, and toilet lines, but the area that will be the bathroom is full of stuff. Lately she loves coming downstairs with me to do laundry and scoop the litterbox, so I am sure she would want to be down there while we cleaned. It's not an area I want her spending too much time in, there is stuff everywhere and I don't want her to come across something she shouldn't like a tool, or run into some furniture that's sticking out in her way. Plus it will just be easier to clean without her underfoot. So then we get a nice quiet evening and Baba and Grammy get the whole afternoon and night with her. Then we'll go over there Sunday for Easter dinner. I was a little bummed when I realized she won't be home to wake up and get her easter basket Sunday morning, but it's not as big of a deal as Christmas. She can look for it when she gets home. I think the easter bunny is going to hide it this year and make her play hot and cold to look for it.
So, after a few weeks of thinking about it, I've decided no on another baby. I got all excited for a little bit at the idea of it, but in reality, there are still a million circumstances that would make another pregnancy and baby very difficult. I know my friend loves her two boys to the moon and back, but she was very blunt with me, and said two is definitely a lot of work. I am glad she was so honest, because most people say, yeah two is harder, but it's so fun to see them together and you get used to it and you'll be fine, just do it. There are some days I feel like I am barely keeping my head above water with just one, plus the dog (whose like a damn baby herself) the house, work, and trying to be active and sometimes do things just for fun. I am sure people with 3 or more kids would laugh at me, but maybe some people are just better suited with one child. In a perfect world, another child would be nice. But I don't NEED another child. I needed A child. I couldn't imagine my life without getting a tke home baby. And I got that with Emily. She is more than enough for me. Is a part of me sad that I was dealt the hand I was and ended up with only one living child? Yeah. But there are definitely worse things than only having one sweet, precious, adorable child who gives hugs and will just randomly come up to me and say I wuv you mommy. I'll be ok.
She was pretty good for the rest of the afternoon, and then I put her down for a nap. Once she was asleep I got started on my shredding I had to do with my work files. My filing cabinet was pretty full and I actually had time to do it today. I was watching her on the monitor to make sure it didn't wake her up, but it never had in the past. But then....she woke up! Crap! She had only been asleep for half an hour or less. Sometimes if she wakes early like that she'll go right back to sleep, but nope. After 5 or 10 minutes I could tell she wasn't going back to sleep, and I still had more shredding to do so I went in and got her.
She was good the rest of the afternoon, we dyed Easter eggs and she was very good about not touching the water or the glasses it was in since it was very hot water. Then around 6, which I call Emily cranky o'clock, the terrible three's set in. I was trying to get my office straightened up and she decided to bring all of the throw pillows in from the couch. My office is small enough, I didn't need all this crap in there when I was trying to clean. Then she tried grabbing the binder clip that keeps my phone charger from falling through the hole-thing in my desk. I told her no three times and she was still trying to grab it, so I sent her to time out. I heard her go in the living room and tell daddy, "mommy said no time out". My husband was like um, ok.
Finally I yelled out to him that I sent her out there to go time out. So he said to her, she did tell you to get in time out, so go. So that kicked off a good 15 minutes of crying in time out. Then she kept singing and talking way too loudly while we were trying to watch TV. Oh, and earlier when I was cleaning my office, she came in to say, momma I peed. It wasn't rage pee, but she peed on her bedroom floor. I had just taken her to the potty not long before that, so I was annoyed that she had to go again and didn't tell us. Most of the time she is so good, but then every once in a while I guess she gets too into what she is doing to stop and pee.
So after dinner I told her she had to pick up her toys tonight. I know part of it is our fault because we are not consistent and don't make her clean up every night. I just lose track of time, and before I know it we've barely finished dinner and it's already time for bed. If I am going to get her tucked in and stories read and everything and get done in time to start working by 9 or 9:30, most nights we don't think to have her pick up her toys until it is bedtime right now, and we don't have time for the Sloth on Ambien to take an hour to pick up 10 things. So, it doesn't get done, the living room always looks like a landfill, and she doesn't want to pick up her toys the few times we ask her to.
I tried to offer incentive....I gave her 15 minutes to get it cleaned up, and whatever time was left, she could play on my phone. So if she got it done quickly, she'd have at least 10 minutes to play. If she took too long, she got no time. This has worked in the past, but tonight she wasn't having it. She refused to even try picking them up, and kept telling me to do it. I kept telling her she wouldn't get any time to play on my phone, and if she didn't do what I said, she wouldn't get bedtime stories either. I felt bad about taking that away, last night we got home late from Grammy's and she hadn't had a nap, and I needed to work so I told her we were going to skip stories, and the next night not only would she get extra stories, but I would lay down with her for a while. She always wants me to lay with her and sing to her, but most nights I can't because I have to work, so I said I would tonight since I don't work on Friday nights.
But, I just couldn't give her EXTRA stories and lay down with her like she likes, after she deliberately refused to do what she was told. It would just feel like way too much of a reward for misbehaving. So of course as soon as I told her to get to bed, she started crying and begged to play on my phone. Then she asked, pick up toys? I said no, you missed your chance. I don't want her to think she can refuse to do what I say, and then still get the opportunity to behave and do what she is supposed to when I already told her she missed her chance and took away something good. If I do that, she'll never do things the first time I ask her. She did cry some when I tucked her in because of it all, but she actually took it pretty well. Most of the time, even on a good night I'll say goodnight and she'll smile and say goodnight and I say I love you and she says I wuv you and I say sweet dreams and she tells me to have sweet dreams. The second the door clicks closed, she starts wailing and crying.
This has been going on for about 2 or 3 months now. I can tell when it's a serious cry and she needs something, and when she just doesn't want to go to bed. Like when I put her down for nap, she insisted on taking her pillow case off her pillow and putting it on her legs like she was a mermaid. I tucked her in, closed the door, and whaaaa. But after a few minutes I could tell it was something more, so I went back in. She decided she did not want to wear her pillow case, and wanted it back on her pillow. But tonight, aside from a few tears when I told her no stories tonight, she did really well. No crying or yelling once I closed the door. I thought maybe it was because she was so tired and that she'd fall asleep quickly, but she was still awake for about an hour before she fell asleep. Maybe she realized she deserved no stories and decided to take it easy on me tonight. Haha, yeah right.
Tomorrow when she gets up from her nap we're going to take her to Baba's house for a sleepover. We want to put a bathroom in the basement, and our first step is to get plumbers over to give us a quote for digging the shower, sink, and toilet lines, but the area that will be the bathroom is full of stuff. Lately she loves coming downstairs with me to do laundry and scoop the litterbox, so I am sure she would want to be down there while we cleaned. It's not an area I want her spending too much time in, there is stuff everywhere and I don't want her to come across something she shouldn't like a tool, or run into some furniture that's sticking out in her way. Plus it will just be easier to clean without her underfoot. So then we get a nice quiet evening and Baba and Grammy get the whole afternoon and night with her. Then we'll go over there Sunday for Easter dinner. I was a little bummed when I realized she won't be home to wake up and get her easter basket Sunday morning, but it's not as big of a deal as Christmas. She can look for it when she gets home. I think the easter bunny is going to hide it this year and make her play hot and cold to look for it.
So, after a few weeks of thinking about it, I've decided no on another baby. I got all excited for a little bit at the idea of it, but in reality, there are still a million circumstances that would make another pregnancy and baby very difficult. I know my friend loves her two boys to the moon and back, but she was very blunt with me, and said two is definitely a lot of work. I am glad she was so honest, because most people say, yeah two is harder, but it's so fun to see them together and you get used to it and you'll be fine, just do it. There are some days I feel like I am barely keeping my head above water with just one, plus the dog (whose like a damn baby herself) the house, work, and trying to be active and sometimes do things just for fun. I am sure people with 3 or more kids would laugh at me, but maybe some people are just better suited with one child. In a perfect world, another child would be nice. But I don't NEED another child. I needed A child. I couldn't imagine my life without getting a tke home baby. And I got that with Emily. She is more than enough for me. Is a part of me sad that I was dealt the hand I was and ended up with only one living child? Yeah. But there are definitely worse things than only having one sweet, precious, adorable child who gives hugs and will just randomly come up to me and say I wuv you mommy. I'll be ok.
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