Background

Not too many people know we're TTC, and I think my husband might flip out if I tell him about one more negative OPK or make plans for our mythical little one.  I needed a place to talk about it, that people who know me won't be in on our little secret.  Though really, we've been married for over a year and we're both in our early 30's, I am sure it's not that big of a secret.

We've been trying for almost 10 months.  It's funny, before we started trying, I remember thinking that I would be fine with it if we got pregnant anytime within the year.  I think we were barely into month #2 before impatience began to set in.  Funny how your perspective on things can change so quickly.  The rational part of me doesn't regret not trying sooner.  My husband wanted to start trying as soon as we were married, but if I had gotten pregnant right away, I would have delivered before I was done with grad school.  That last four months was really stressful and busy, I have no idea how I would have gotten decent grades, much less even finish if I were in my third trimester, delivered and then had to take care of a newborn.

Now, after 10 months of trying and no success, the idea that we could have gotten pregnant right away had we started trying right after the wedding sounds kind of ridiculous, but you never know.  That is the way the world works, since it wouldn't have been 100% ideal, it would have happaned.  So yeah, I can't say I regret it, but I guess I wish we could have been in the situation to have been ready sooner.  I know that six months probably wouldn't have made a huge difference, but I started gaining weight back after the wedding.  It seems like the very month we started trying, I had gained back enough weight for it to start affecting my cycles and suddenly they were nuts.  So yeah, with more regular cycles its a lot more likely I would have gotten pregnant in that six months.

I know many women, even with regular cycles can still have a hard time getting pregnant.  But still, I'm very jealous of the women that have 28-32 day regular cycles.  They can see that they are ovulating, and even when they get BFN month after month, they can quickly start a new cycle and try again.  I am currently on CD42...I gave up temping this cycle because I was sick and my temps were all over the place.  So I have no idea if I ovulated or if I still might.  Who knows how long this cycle will go on for.  I think I would feel immensely better if I could just have short, more regular cycles.  Though it does make me feel better to know that regular cycles are possible if I can just get some control over my weight.  When I was skinnier I could set my watch by my period.....so obviously regular cycles are in the realm of possibility for me.