Christmas was great, it was so much fun to watch her open gifts and see all her new things. She got lots of great gifts from everyone. On Tuesday we let her open her Christmas Eve box, a day early since we have plans with family that night. She mostly just beat on the box so we had to do most of the tearing of the wrapping paper. Once the box was open she went right for daddy's box of Bunch o' Crunch, she liked shaking it like a rattle. I had a box of Raisinettes and there was also a bag of popcorn though we never got around to having that. She got a new pair of festive jammies and the movies The Rescuers and The Rescuers Down Under. My husband and I enjoyed the candy and we all watched The Rescuers Down Under. It will be more exciting as she gets older and understands what is going on, but for now it was a nice evening and I was happy to start the tradition.
On Christmas eve I got her all dressed up in a red and black fancy dress complete with tights and Mary Janes....she doesn't need to be an ultimate girly girl like my niece, but I am hoping she doesn't despise girly stuff like I did when I was little. It would be nice if she'll willingly put on dresses for special occasions as she gets older. So she and I met my dad at church, Ryan stayed home to get dinner ready. She did wonderful at church, she was very quiet for the first half, and only made a few sounds through out the second half, and they were just the ones that prompt friendly looks and smiles from the people around us. No ear piercing screaming thank goodness.
Then we went home, dad and my stepmom and stepsister came over, as did my brother and his wife. We had grilled burgers and cheese and chocolate fondue. The traditional swiss cheese turned out good, but the velveeta cheese and the chocolate didn't go so well. Oh well, live and learn. After dinner we opened presents, in addition to the new jumper dad and my stepmom got her (which came that evening before church so she got to try it out and loved it) she also got a ton of clothes, cute slippers and lots of books. They also got her some toys to keep at my dad's house so she has things to play with there and a Molly doll (Bubble Guppies) that talks.
The next morning we blissfully slept till 9 and once Em was all changed, we opened her presents first. She needed help, but she did pretty good. We got her a Minnie Mouse doll that crawls...kinda hoping Minnie will teach her how to crawl. She also got a baby doll with a soft body and her head rattles, and she got some stocking stuffers like more pacis, those net things you can put fruit in them so she can chew on the fruit with less risk of choking, more teething toys and a small rattle stuffed animal.
After a nice nap, we got ready and went to my inlaws and had an amazing dinner. One day I would love to be able to host like my MIL does. She never looks frazzled, the food always turned out good and there is room on the table for everything without having to go to different stations all over the kitchen to get your food.
At their house, one person opens all of their presents at a time and we go in order of age, so Emily got to go first. My inlaws got her an activity table and a thing with balls in it that spin around and the lights light up when you push the top. I think they also got her some clothes and in her stocking were these adorable pink moccasins. My SIL and BIL got her some clothes and some cute little fur lined white boots. Unfortunately none of her slippers or boots stay on very well but they make for good photo ops.
So it was a great first Christmas, and it was nice to experience it through a child's eyes again. I've always loved Christmas, but it's gotten a bit boring as an adult, so it's exciting to get to relive it through Emily and see her so excited. I know it will only get better as she gets a little older, but even at 9 months she looked happy and excited to see her gifts, and she hugged all of her stuffed animals that she got. I felt bad though that I didn't feel bad enough about missing Kayla over Christmas. I miss her, every single day, but Christmas isn't as hard because of Emily. Right after we lost her, I decided right then and there that I didn't want to have Christmas last year. We were still 9 months away, but at the time I wanted nothing to do with it. I didn't want to decorate or put up a tree, I didn't want lights outside or to celebrate with any family. It was just going to be another regular day. In fact we were contemplating going away for Christmas so we wouldn't even have to be reminded what time of year it was.
But, after 9 months, we had healed enough to breathe a little easier, but the biggest band aid for our hearts was the fact that by Christmas last year, I was 6 months pregnant with Emily, so we decided to go ahead with Christmas as usual. It wasn't easy, and I was anxious about it, but it went alright. But this year....I was excited for it. I couldn't wait to see Emily open her gifts and stick to traditions we had when me and my husband were kids, and traditions we were starting with our own family. It's very hard to be sad around Emily, she makes me smile all day every day. So it makes me feel terrible that Christmas wasn't hard without Kayla. I miss her every day, I think about her every day, and I look at Emily and I wonder who Kayla would have been. But there is one glaring thing that goes through my mind far too often, and that is, Emily wouldn't be here if Kayla was.
I will never ever ever say I am happy that we lost Kayla. I will never say it all worked out for the best. I know if she had survived and we never knew Emily, we would be full of smiles and laughter every day over what Kayla would do. But aside from feeling her inside me for 4 months and holding her tiny body, I don't know her. I don't know what her personality would have been like, I don't know what her eyes would have looked like, I don't know how her voice would have sounded. But I do know all of that about Emily, and it kills me, it fucking kills me to think of my life without Emily. She can never replace Kayla, and I will always love her and miss her, but I feel so guilty for not missing her more, for not being more sad at Christmas time. I liked a bereavement page on facebook and there has been lots of talk about getting through the holidays and people commenting, saying how terrible they are, saying how miserable they are without their baby. Why aren't I more sad? It sounds stupid to wish to be more sad, but I am afraid of losing her, I am afraid of letting Emily replace her.
But it hasn't all been easy. We got family photos taken last month, and we have a large canvas print in our living room. I look at it often, and think about how it is a lie. We are all smiling, our cute little family of three, but we are not a family of three, but the fourth member is gone. And sigining the Christmas cards....I had them printed to say "Love, the Smiths" (not our real name btw), so that I didn't have to feel judged by signing Kayla's name or feel bad for not signing it, but then I went ahead and signed the back with our three names. I felt terrible about that from the moment I mailed them. I will not be making that mistake again in coming years.
So, hopefully I am just at a place in my grief right now where I need to be happy. I know there is nothing wrong with being happy, and nothing wrong with loving Emily....I just have so little of Kayla to hold on to, I am afraid of letting go even more.
Emily has a second tooth coming in, it's her other bottom incisor. She seems to be feeling better, I haven't needed to give her as much medicine lately and she isn't crying as much, but the first one is popped all the way through and the second one is mostly popped through, so I think the pain is subsiding for now. But I am sure it won't be long until another one comes popping through and makes my baby cry some more.
I am trying to teach her how to drink from a sippy cup. She does better than she used to, a couple months ago when I tried, she just chewed on the handles. Now she does put the spout in her mouth, but it's the kind that nothing will come out without some sucking, and so far she doesn't do that. Not sure if I should be using a different sippy, or if I just need to keep offering it and eventually she will get it. Her new thing lately, and she doesn't do it all the time, but sometimes if I get close to her face and say "Emmy can I have a kiss", she'll tilt her head up and meet me for a kiss. It's sooooo sweet.
We went up north this past weekend for the annual christmas party on my dad's side. It's actually the first time I've gone, I always had to go back to work the day after Christmas so I never felt like going out of town. It was nice, lots of good food and my aunts were all excited to see Emily again and they all passed her around like a hot potato. My dad was holding her and I was sitting across the table from them. My grandma was next to them and suddenly she gave Emily a rubberband to play with. Before I could even finish the thought of WTF is she thinking, she's either going to snap herself or put that nasty thing in her mouth, Emily promptly took it from her, pulled it with her other hand and snapped it on her wrist. She got a shocked look on her face, then burst into tears. If I could read her thoughts, they would have been, "Whhhhy did you give me that, it huuuuurt". She was fine, and I wasn't super mad, but my grandma raised 12 kids, she has 28 grandkids, 16 great grandkids and her first great great grandkid was born today actually. Why in the hell did she think it was a good idea to give a baby a rubberband?
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Monday, December 22, 2014
9 months
Emily turned 9 months last week. Where is the time going? My baby is such a big girl now, she doesn't even look like a baby to me anymore. I can't believe that in addition to the 9 months I was pregnant with her that she's been with us now for 18 months. It is true, once you have kids, you have no idea how you lived without them before.
A few days before she turned 9 months I noticed her first tooth coming in. Yay! Or so I thought. I was so excited to finally see a tooth, I've been looking for them since she started drooling around 3 months. I was even surprised to see that she was handling it quite well, she would cry more than usual, if I took a toy away, or if I left the room when she didn't want me to she'd cry, but that was about it....until the end of last week. She cried at the drop of a hat, she's difficult to console, and she's all stuffy and snotty because of the teething. She sneezes a lot and always has snot all over her face, so I try to clean her up but she hates it and cries even more.
I hate it, I feel so bad for her. So I assume that in addition to the one that has already popped through, she probably has a few more waiting to cut through and causing her a lot of pain. I ran to the store the other night and bought her more Tylenol (cause you can never have enough infant Tylenol in the house), baby orajel, boogie wipes and Hyland teething tablets. My purchases must have screamed "I am a new mom". But the lady in front of me was even more frazzled. Her son lost a shoe and she was freaked that she lost it in the store somewhere, then he wouldn't sit in the cart without crying so she had to hold him, then she forgot to ask for another receipt so she had to ask the cashier to reprint it. She apologized to me for taking too long and I said that's ok, mine is probably crying at home right now. She was like thank goodness, someone who gets it. Then she started to walk away without her bags and the cashier had to call her back and I could tell, on top of being frazzled, that she was embarrased too.
She seemed nice, I wish I wouldn't have been weird to stop her and ask to be mommy friends. I had to laugh one day on the bump some women were discussing how to get another mom's number. They sounded like a bunch of guys talked about getting some chicks number, but it was just a mom who wanted to hang out with another mom.
Just two more days until Christmas, I cannot wait to watch Emily open her presents. And watch her play with them, I feel like she's getting a little bored with her toys. I'm also excited to see what she gets....people keep telling me what they got for her and I'm just like shhhh, I want it to be a surprise for me too. The jumper/exersaucer thing we bought for her is huuuge so we ended up putting that one in the basement for when we're down there, and using a smaller one my aunt had given me. But she was able to rip off two of the three toys on it and seemed bored, so I took it back to Once Upon a child to sell it and buy a new one, but they didn't have any! They usually have a ton, so I sold hers back and couldn't get her another one. So I checked a resale place by my dad's house but they only had one boring looking one and it was too much money for being second hand. My dad and stepmom hadn't gotten their big gift for her yet so I picked out one I liked and they bought it for her for christmas. It's all pink....I had been trying to get big things gender neutral in case we ever end up having a boy, but whatever. I don't care anymore. I am glad the carseat and strollers are all neutral, but if we ever had a boy I'd just buy him a second hand jumper and sell the pink one. Same with the highchair. It's too bad they don't make the fabric to buy and swap out the pink for the blue since there is obviously nothing wrong with the plastic underneath.
Emily had her 9 month appointment today. Everything was good, and I loved that she didn't need any shots. I am not sure I could handle her screaming and crying over shots and teething. So the doctor said I can start feeding her more solid food meals and cut out her midnight bottle. Actually she kind of gave me a funny look when I told her I woke her up for the bottle. I figured she was too old to be getting a bottle in the middle of the night, but I tried cutting it out a couple months ago and just giving her more in her bottles, but her little tummy couldn't handle the big bottles at the time, and then she'd get constipated from not getting as many liquids. I think she can handle it now though.
But the best part is, that means I can go to bed whenever I want. Many nights, like tonight, I could go to bed right now (11:30) or sooner, but I had to stay up till midnight to feed her, and then I would miss my "window" of being tired and end up staying up till 2 or 3 and just lay there, tossing a turning. But now I don't have to wait up, I can just go to bed whenever I am tired. She normally went right back to bed after her bottle, but some nights she would end up wide awake after and then be up for an hour or two. So another reason to be glad we can stop that.
A few days before she turned 9 months I noticed her first tooth coming in. Yay! Or so I thought. I was so excited to finally see a tooth, I've been looking for them since she started drooling around 3 months. I was even surprised to see that she was handling it quite well, she would cry more than usual, if I took a toy away, or if I left the room when she didn't want me to she'd cry, but that was about it....until the end of last week. She cried at the drop of a hat, she's difficult to console, and she's all stuffy and snotty because of the teething. She sneezes a lot and always has snot all over her face, so I try to clean her up but she hates it and cries even more.
I hate it, I feel so bad for her. So I assume that in addition to the one that has already popped through, she probably has a few more waiting to cut through and causing her a lot of pain. I ran to the store the other night and bought her more Tylenol (cause you can never have enough infant Tylenol in the house), baby orajel, boogie wipes and Hyland teething tablets. My purchases must have screamed "I am a new mom". But the lady in front of me was even more frazzled. Her son lost a shoe and she was freaked that she lost it in the store somewhere, then he wouldn't sit in the cart without crying so she had to hold him, then she forgot to ask for another receipt so she had to ask the cashier to reprint it. She apologized to me for taking too long and I said that's ok, mine is probably crying at home right now. She was like thank goodness, someone who gets it. Then she started to walk away without her bags and the cashier had to call her back and I could tell, on top of being frazzled, that she was embarrased too.
She seemed nice, I wish I wouldn't have been weird to stop her and ask to be mommy friends. I had to laugh one day on the bump some women were discussing how to get another mom's number. They sounded like a bunch of guys talked about getting some chicks number, but it was just a mom who wanted to hang out with another mom.
Just two more days until Christmas, I cannot wait to watch Emily open her presents. And watch her play with them, I feel like she's getting a little bored with her toys. I'm also excited to see what she gets....people keep telling me what they got for her and I'm just like shhhh, I want it to be a surprise for me too. The jumper/exersaucer thing we bought for her is huuuge so we ended up putting that one in the basement for when we're down there, and using a smaller one my aunt had given me. But she was able to rip off two of the three toys on it and seemed bored, so I took it back to Once Upon a child to sell it and buy a new one, but they didn't have any! They usually have a ton, so I sold hers back and couldn't get her another one. So I checked a resale place by my dad's house but they only had one boring looking one and it was too much money for being second hand. My dad and stepmom hadn't gotten their big gift for her yet so I picked out one I liked and they bought it for her for christmas. It's all pink....I had been trying to get big things gender neutral in case we ever end up having a boy, but whatever. I don't care anymore. I am glad the carseat and strollers are all neutral, but if we ever had a boy I'd just buy him a second hand jumper and sell the pink one. Same with the highchair. It's too bad they don't make the fabric to buy and swap out the pink for the blue since there is obviously nothing wrong with the plastic underneath.
Emily had her 9 month appointment today. Everything was good, and I loved that she didn't need any shots. I am not sure I could handle her screaming and crying over shots and teething. So the doctor said I can start feeding her more solid food meals and cut out her midnight bottle. Actually she kind of gave me a funny look when I told her I woke her up for the bottle. I figured she was too old to be getting a bottle in the middle of the night, but I tried cutting it out a couple months ago and just giving her more in her bottles, but her little tummy couldn't handle the big bottles at the time, and then she'd get constipated from not getting as many liquids. I think she can handle it now though.
But the best part is, that means I can go to bed whenever I want. Many nights, like tonight, I could go to bed right now (11:30) or sooner, but I had to stay up till midnight to feed her, and then I would miss my "window" of being tired and end up staying up till 2 or 3 and just lay there, tossing a turning. But now I don't have to wait up, I can just go to bed whenever I am tired. She normally went right back to bed after her bottle, but some nights she would end up wide awake after and then be up for an hour or two. So another reason to be glad we can stop that.
Sunday, December 14, 2014
You are the mother of all mothers
I'm supposed to be making lunches for the week, but I forgot to write about something completely exciting. There is a magazine called Still Standing for bereaved parents. I've posted in here my favorite article by Angela Miller called Why you did not fail as a mother. I think I posted it back in July of 2013 or you can google it if you're interested in reading it. It's kind of my bereaved mother bible, and I read it whenever I am feeling bad, or need the kick in the butt that I did nothing wrong, that I love my daughters and I would do anything to have them both here with me.
So anyway, I recently discovered that the author turned her article into a book called You are the mother of all mothers, and was even more excited to discover that the book has a tribute page and you can have your angel's name included in the book. The book had already printed once, and I found information that the tribute page for the second printing opened up back in August, so of course there was no more space. I liked the author on facebook so I can get updates on when the page will open for the third printing.
Much to my surprise, a couple days later I saw a post saying to hurry and reserve your spot for the third printing soon since there are only twenty spots left. I immediately opened my email and almost couldn't get the email written legibly since I was rushing so much to email the author to reserve a spot. So $135 later, we have a spot reserved so Kayla's name will be in the next printing due out in late winter/early spring and we get two copies of the book and it includes shipping and handling.
I'm so happy, to see Kayla's name in print in a book with other lovely angels, telling the world she was here....I love this. Back when the movie Return to Zero came out I was bummed to learn that there was an oppotunity to have her name added to the credits. But this is even better, this will be in a book that I can look at over and over, and I am excited to read the book.
After I reserved Kayla's spot, I sat there for a minute, contemplating, and then thought what the hell, I bought a spot for my stepmom as well to add her son's name. He passed away from brain cancer 10 years ago at the age of 29. The book is geared to any parent who has lost a child at any age, so I thought this would be a great surprise for her. I cannot wait to give her the book when it arrives.
In other Kayla news, the candlelight vigil that the hospital hosts at the cemetery for our babies is coming up this week. We went last year and it was nice. I was a little unsure though if we should take Emily...there were some kids there last year but they were all a little older, like 3 and 4 and older. I would hate to upset someone who recently lost a baby by bringing a baby. Maybe it would be ok if we could kind of stand in the back and not be noticed much, but it will be outdoors, in the dark, probably cold and it starts at her bedtime, so there is a good chance she could be cranky or chatty and that could really upset someone, even if their loss isn't super recent, to hear a baby crying or chatting when they are already emotional at an event for their baby.
We've been wanting to go out for dinner and a movie, so my dad is watching her on Thursday so we can go to an afternoon movie, get dinner afterward and if we time it all right, it should be about time to go to the vigil from dinner, and then we'll go home after that and put her to bed. Maybe we'll take her next year, but definitely the year after that. I want her to be a part of remembering her sister, but this year and probably next she won't know what is going on, and by not taking her I don't have to worry about upsetting anyone.
She didn't nap at all today....like at all. We were going to my friend's house today to exchange gifts with her and her boys so I tried putting her down for a nap around 11 but she wouldn't sleep. So I got her up and tried to get her to sleep with me, but no....so I tried putting her down again and still nothing. So on the way to my friend's house we stopped at my dad's for a visit for about an hour and she was awake for the entire 20 minute drive. But then she fell asleep on the 5 minute drive from my dad's to my friend's. I felt terrible waking her up since I knew she needed to sleep. So we stayed for a few hours, and then went to pick up dinner on the way home.
Well, first we had to make another pit stop at my dad's. When we left my friend's house I realized I needed to go to the bathroom....I didn't have the stroller so I wouldn't be able to take her in and go at the restaurant, and I knew it was be an awful drive home if I didn't go, haha, so I called my dad, said I am stopping back over, I needed him to come out and sit with her while I ran in and used his bathroom. She probably would have been fine in the car, she was asleep again, his neighborhood is safe, I would have locked the doors, but I just couldn't do it. So when we got to the restaurant I had to wake her up again, and then again when we got home. I felt so bad, but at least that last stretch on the way home was a good 15 minute nap. But then she was so wired from not sleeping that she didn't go to bed until 2 hours past her bedtime.
So this brings up a question. How do you pee when you're out and about with your little one, they cannot walk yet to stand there, and you have no where to put them while you go?
So anyway, I recently discovered that the author turned her article into a book called You are the mother of all mothers, and was even more excited to discover that the book has a tribute page and you can have your angel's name included in the book. The book had already printed once, and I found information that the tribute page for the second printing opened up back in August, so of course there was no more space. I liked the author on facebook so I can get updates on when the page will open for the third printing.
Much to my surprise, a couple days later I saw a post saying to hurry and reserve your spot for the third printing soon since there are only twenty spots left. I immediately opened my email and almost couldn't get the email written legibly since I was rushing so much to email the author to reserve a spot. So $135 later, we have a spot reserved so Kayla's name will be in the next printing due out in late winter/early spring and we get two copies of the book and it includes shipping and handling.
I'm so happy, to see Kayla's name in print in a book with other lovely angels, telling the world she was here....I love this. Back when the movie Return to Zero came out I was bummed to learn that there was an oppotunity to have her name added to the credits. But this is even better, this will be in a book that I can look at over and over, and I am excited to read the book.
After I reserved Kayla's spot, I sat there for a minute, contemplating, and then thought what the hell, I bought a spot for my stepmom as well to add her son's name. He passed away from brain cancer 10 years ago at the age of 29. The book is geared to any parent who has lost a child at any age, so I thought this would be a great surprise for her. I cannot wait to give her the book when it arrives.
In other Kayla news, the candlelight vigil that the hospital hosts at the cemetery for our babies is coming up this week. We went last year and it was nice. I was a little unsure though if we should take Emily...there were some kids there last year but they were all a little older, like 3 and 4 and older. I would hate to upset someone who recently lost a baby by bringing a baby. Maybe it would be ok if we could kind of stand in the back and not be noticed much, but it will be outdoors, in the dark, probably cold and it starts at her bedtime, so there is a good chance she could be cranky or chatty and that could really upset someone, even if their loss isn't super recent, to hear a baby crying or chatting when they are already emotional at an event for their baby.
We've been wanting to go out for dinner and a movie, so my dad is watching her on Thursday so we can go to an afternoon movie, get dinner afterward and if we time it all right, it should be about time to go to the vigil from dinner, and then we'll go home after that and put her to bed. Maybe we'll take her next year, but definitely the year after that. I want her to be a part of remembering her sister, but this year and probably next she won't know what is going on, and by not taking her I don't have to worry about upsetting anyone.
She didn't nap at all today....like at all. We were going to my friend's house today to exchange gifts with her and her boys so I tried putting her down for a nap around 11 but she wouldn't sleep. So I got her up and tried to get her to sleep with me, but no....so I tried putting her down again and still nothing. So on the way to my friend's house we stopped at my dad's for a visit for about an hour and she was awake for the entire 20 minute drive. But then she fell asleep on the 5 minute drive from my dad's to my friend's. I felt terrible waking her up since I knew she needed to sleep. So we stayed for a few hours, and then went to pick up dinner on the way home.
Well, first we had to make another pit stop at my dad's. When we left my friend's house I realized I needed to go to the bathroom....I didn't have the stroller so I wouldn't be able to take her in and go at the restaurant, and I knew it was be an awful drive home if I didn't go, haha, so I called my dad, said I am stopping back over, I needed him to come out and sit with her while I ran in and used his bathroom. She probably would have been fine in the car, she was asleep again, his neighborhood is safe, I would have locked the doors, but I just couldn't do it. So when we got to the restaurant I had to wake her up again, and then again when we got home. I felt so bad, but at least that last stretch on the way home was a good 15 minute nap. But then she was so wired from not sleeping that she didn't go to bed until 2 hours past her bedtime.
So this brings up a question. How do you pee when you're out and about with your little one, they cannot walk yet to stand there, and you have no where to put them while you go?
Saturday, December 13, 2014
Walking?
I am always so amazed every time Emily does something new. I am such
a proud mama, as if no other child has done any of these things and I
think she is a genius. Well, that she may be. Anyway, I've been trying to help her learn to crawl, but so far she just refuses to get up on her knees. I've even tried putting her in position and she'll stay like that for a few seconds before falling back on to her tummy.
So the other day I was helping her do sit ups, holding out my hands for her to pull on to sit up. Once she was in a sitting position, to my surprise, she grabbed on to me and pulled herself into a standing position. I've said it all along, maybe she'll just skip crawling and go straight to walking, but now it looks like she might do just that. A few nights later once she was standing she leaned for the christmas tote that was next to us, so I guided her arms from me to the tote, she stood there and took one step toward it. Yay Emmy! But then after a few minutes her arms got tired and she face planted into the tote, my poor baby.
It will be amazing when she starts walking, but I kind of hope she doesn't skip crawling. I am not sure this mama can handle walking right away. She has less opportunity to get hurt crawling. Maybe I should take the baby gate downstairs. When it was delivered months ago we set it against the wall in the hallway and it never got taken downstairs. I am sick of it sitting there, but I know the minute I haul it downstairs, she will become mobile and I'll have to bring it back upstairs. So if I want her to become mobile, I should take it downstairs, just like you have to go to the bathroom at a restaurant if you want the food to come.
Last weekend we went with my friend and her boys to see Santa. Emily did great, no tears, she just stared at him and touched the fur on his coat. I got some great pictures. I loved the Santa, he was very nice and friendly, and the location was great, at a museum in my hometown. My friend's mom got me in the museum for free on a visitor's pass and seeing Santa is free so that was nice. We plan on getting a membership there this year....in addition to the museum there is also a historic village and Emily and I went there this past summer with my SIL. It was nice just to walk around, and Emily loved the train, the carousel and the little playground. Going just twice would pay for the membership itself compared to general admission each time so I think it's definitely worth it and we can go see Santa there every year.
I'm so glad Em is a little older for her first Christmas and not just a tiny newborn. I know she really has no clue what is going on, but she can at least participate a little. We decorated our tree the other day and her face lit up when I turned the lights on and I picked her up and we put her ornament on first. She loves to grab paper and crunch it so I think she will have a good time tearing at her presents.
So my little pumpkin is getting to be quite sassy. If you take something from her that she shouldn't have, or if you're trying to fix something she has she throws a fit. Sometimes I will give her something she can have, like if I want her to have a toy but she grabbed my cell phone instead, but I won't just give her something to placate her. I hope she is not too young to start doing that to, but I think too often people don't discipline their children until their older and by then bad habits are set. I don't want her to think screaming and crying will always gets her what she wants. But I do think I must be a horrible mother because I think she is so cute when she cries. It breaks my heart, but she's adorable with her little face all scrunched up.
In diaper news, I think we've finally found an overnight diaper that works. Emily sleeps about 12 hours and I hate waking her up in the middle of the night to change her diaper. We had been using Pamper's baby dry but at least 2 or 3 days a week she woke up soaking wet. So I tried going up a size, same problem. So then I doubled up, a smaller size and the bigger size over top....it helped, but she was still waking up wet more often than I liked. I love Pamper's Swaddlers, but I've heard good things about Huggie overnights. This morning was day 4 of waking up with completely dry jammies. Hopefully the trend continues, that's got to feel miserable being all wet and cold. I still have quite a few baby dry diapers left, but if the Huggies continue to work well, I can give them to my cousin who is coming to visit next week.
Emily and I went to visit them and their new baby last week and also to get the old Keurig they are giving me that they aren't using anymore. So we went and chatted, got a tour of their new house, laughed at the babies meeting each other, and after a couple hours we said goodbye and were on our way, and we all completely forgot about the Keurig. So they're going to come visit us next week and (hopefully) bring it.
So the other day I was helping her do sit ups, holding out my hands for her to pull on to sit up. Once she was in a sitting position, to my surprise, she grabbed on to me and pulled herself into a standing position. I've said it all along, maybe she'll just skip crawling and go straight to walking, but now it looks like she might do just that. A few nights later once she was standing she leaned for the christmas tote that was next to us, so I guided her arms from me to the tote, she stood there and took one step toward it. Yay Emmy! But then after a few minutes her arms got tired and she face planted into the tote, my poor baby.
It will be amazing when she starts walking, but I kind of hope she doesn't skip crawling. I am not sure this mama can handle walking right away. She has less opportunity to get hurt crawling. Maybe I should take the baby gate downstairs. When it was delivered months ago we set it against the wall in the hallway and it never got taken downstairs. I am sick of it sitting there, but I know the minute I haul it downstairs, she will become mobile and I'll have to bring it back upstairs. So if I want her to become mobile, I should take it downstairs, just like you have to go to the bathroom at a restaurant if you want the food to come.
Last weekend we went with my friend and her boys to see Santa. Emily did great, no tears, she just stared at him and touched the fur on his coat. I got some great pictures. I loved the Santa, he was very nice and friendly, and the location was great, at a museum in my hometown. My friend's mom got me in the museum for free on a visitor's pass and seeing Santa is free so that was nice. We plan on getting a membership there this year....in addition to the museum there is also a historic village and Emily and I went there this past summer with my SIL. It was nice just to walk around, and Emily loved the train, the carousel and the little playground. Going just twice would pay for the membership itself compared to general admission each time so I think it's definitely worth it and we can go see Santa there every year.
I'm so glad Em is a little older for her first Christmas and not just a tiny newborn. I know she really has no clue what is going on, but she can at least participate a little. We decorated our tree the other day and her face lit up when I turned the lights on and I picked her up and we put her ornament on first. She loves to grab paper and crunch it so I think she will have a good time tearing at her presents.
So my little pumpkin is getting to be quite sassy. If you take something from her that she shouldn't have, or if you're trying to fix something she has she throws a fit. Sometimes I will give her something she can have, like if I want her to have a toy but she grabbed my cell phone instead, but I won't just give her something to placate her. I hope she is not too young to start doing that to, but I think too often people don't discipline their children until their older and by then bad habits are set. I don't want her to think screaming and crying will always gets her what she wants. But I do think I must be a horrible mother because I think she is so cute when she cries. It breaks my heart, but she's adorable with her little face all scrunched up.
In diaper news, I think we've finally found an overnight diaper that works. Emily sleeps about 12 hours and I hate waking her up in the middle of the night to change her diaper. We had been using Pamper's baby dry but at least 2 or 3 days a week she woke up soaking wet. So I tried going up a size, same problem. So then I doubled up, a smaller size and the bigger size over top....it helped, but she was still waking up wet more often than I liked. I love Pamper's Swaddlers, but I've heard good things about Huggie overnights. This morning was day 4 of waking up with completely dry jammies. Hopefully the trend continues, that's got to feel miserable being all wet and cold. I still have quite a few baby dry diapers left, but if the Huggies continue to work well, I can give them to my cousin who is coming to visit next week.
Emily and I went to visit them and their new baby last week and also to get the old Keurig they are giving me that they aren't using anymore. So we went and chatted, got a tour of their new house, laughed at the babies meeting each other, and after a couple hours we said goodbye and were on our way, and we all completely forgot about the Keurig. So they're going to come visit us next week and (hopefully) bring it.
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