I officially have a first grader! Thank the lord, homeschool is over...for now. I pray that school can resume as normal in the fall. Her last day of school was this past Friday but she didn't have any actual work to do, just a zoom meeting with her teacher and her class. I'm so sad she missed out on the last 3 months of having such a great teacher. But at the same time, with a less capable teacher, she might not have gotten as good of online instruction.
The first-grade teachers also popped onto the zoom meeting so we could "meet them". We haven't been told yet which one she will have but they all seem nice. But I know her teacher has been chosen because her K teacher said she talked to her new one and they worked it out so that her best friend Amelia will also be in the same class as her. That's so awesome that they did that, it'll no doubt be a little scary to go into 1st grade in the fall without having finished kindergarten like normal, so being able to see her best friend in the same class should be a huge comfort.
I am sure it cannot be done 100% since certain kids may do better with certain teachers, but I think it would be very cool if they could just send the entire class onto the same teacher as best they can. Try to create as much normalcy and familiarity as they can for the kids. But, thankfully kids are stronger and more resilient than we give them credit for. Their kindergarten year may stick in their heads a little more than usual due to how the year ended, but luckily they shouldn't be able to remember a ton of this year. I can really only remember bits and pieces of kindergarten that probably don't even add up to a full day. Even as high as second and third grade are a blur to me.
I really hope they don't make them wear masks in the fall. I know all the experts disagree with one another, but I have read that it is not recommended and even unsafe for children to wear a mask for extended amounts of time. I'm not a doctor but it makes sense to me that it wouldn't be safe. Just the 15-20 minutes I wear one to a store, I breathe a lot faster and more shallow and it's hot. I can't imagine wearing one for 7 hours a day in school, especially as a child who does not have the same thought process and discipline an adult does. Their bodies are also still developing and I just do not think it is ok.
So, good news, Ryan will begin taking Emily again Father's Day weekend. Thank God! I am glad about this for many reasons. 1. She needs to see her dad. I've explained to her why he hasn't seen her, but surely that doesn't make it any easier on her. 2. Going to his house every other weekend will bring back a nice routine, and kids, especially mine thrive on routine. It will also give me and her a nice break from each other so that we can enjoy our time together a lot more. 3. She'll get to see her grandparents again. She has not seen anyone from his side of the family since March 15th and I know she misses them and they miss her like crazy. In fact, her Nana has been dying to get her again and would have gladly taken her last weekend, but Ryan still said no, grrr. But, just 8 more days and they can be reunited. 4. She misses her toys that are at his house. I will admit, my only child is a typical spoiled only child. She has a LOT of toys, and her dad's house is no exception. And while there are a lot more serious things to cry boo-hoo about, she's bored and tired of her toys here. She cannot wait to go play with all the toys she has there that she has been missing. She will also get her birthday presents from her Nana and Papa and her aunt and uncle that she didn't get back in March. And she'll get to swim. My little water bug loves to swim....she will likely spend 95% of her days there in the pool.
Now some news for me....I met someone! Yes, I am that weirdo that manages to meet someone during a global pandemic. It'll be a good story for the grandkids one day. We met pretty much at the start of all of this, online of course. I was doing the online thing, though I didn't have much faith in it. I met a few guys from it years ago before I got married...one that turned into a Mr. Good enough for right now for 2-ish years, one that I dated for a couple months, a couple duds, and one that frightened me to my very core. He was the epitome of online dating horror stories. He used a fake picture...like it wasn't even an old pic or a more flattering than in-person pic. It wasn't even remotely him. And the real him looked like someone that probably has people tied up in his basement. I couldn't run fast enough.
Anyway...despite my misgivings, I signed up for a few online dating sites last summer as more traditional ways of meeting people don't work so well for me. I mostly work from home, and when I do go into the office, the very few guys there are at least 11+ years my junior. No thanks. I don't go to bars often and even when I do, I've never had any desire or hope to meet a potential long term boyfriend at a bar. That basically leaves a single dad at Emily's school (whoops, that doesn't work when school gets canceled, or the off chance of meeting someone at the grocery store. I did Match a few times and tried a couple others that I ended up leaving because they sucked, and I had a profile on FB dating continuously since it was free. I got several likes over the months on there....but out of say 50 likes, only 3-5 were guys I would consider responding to and they usually went quiet after I liked them back. FB dating had a lot less detail than other sites, so I never sent a "like". I don't know, it intimidated me...not knowing what kind of girl someone might like. I preferred to just let them come to me if they were interested.
Plus, on Match, I did send a decent amount of likes, but NEVER got a response. And I am not exaggerating, I mean never. Not one. So one day I was scrolling FB dating. Some profiles I hit the X right away, some I read because they were entertaining, and even fewer piqued my interest. But even of those, I hit the X anyway. But then I came across Anthony's profile. I clearly remember saying out loud to an empty room, "holy shit this guy is gorgeous". He was exactly my type...I love the blue-collar, down to earth, truck driving, jeans and t-shirt kinda guy.
I can fit in in several different settings...I have a white-collar job, a Master's degree, and my grammar and vocabulary probably make me sound more book smart than I am. I can clean it up and be very presentable when I need to be and I like dressing up a bit and putting on heels for work. I may not be a genius, but I feel like I can speak pretty intelligently and I can hold my own in a conversation or a debate. But I consider myself to be way more gifted in the common sense department than book knowledge, I cuss like a sailor when appropriate and I am totally at home chilling in flip flops, jeans, and a tee, going up north, and hanging with my dad and uncles. Despite being a girly girl in some ways, I'm also very much a down to earth, simple, tom-boy kinda girl...and he looked like my exact type, like someone 3D printed my perfect guy. His profile didn't even have a ton of info other than what city he lived in, the fact that he has kids, and is my age. I went back and forth for a few, but ultimately decided I HAD to like him, I just couldn't pass him by. There was just something about him that I had to pursue.
Much to my surprise, he replied within half an hour. Color me shocked. I had never gotten a reply from someone, much less someone I was so interested in. So I checked my message and he asked, no pics? My heart sank. Oh...that's why he replied, he hadn't seen my pics yet. Now, I know I am not completely unfortunate looking. Some days I am actually quite pleased with what I see in the mirror. But I have never had exceptionally high self-esteem despite not really having any reason not to...I've always done pretty decent in my dating life...I was never that poor girl who held up the wall at school dances. But in the last few years, my self-esteem has taken a huge nose-dive, even more than usual. I'm older, I've gained weight, and I spent way too many years in a bad marriage where I was constantly made to feel bad and never got support.
When he said the pics were coming up now, I fully expected to not hear from him again. So when he replied with "my goodness you're gorgeous", I nearly fell out of my chair (I think it's cute that we both used the same adjective in our initial impressions of one another). Between the dating app, text, and a phone call we talked for 12 hours, finally saying goodbye at 5:30 the next morning! I could not believe how much he and I had in common, and how many traits he has that I was looking for. And they weren't just the typical traits that most people want like nice, funny, kind, honest, etc.
We both agreed that we had to meet, and couldn't wait until the pandemic was over. He was laid off and I was working exclusively from home and we were avoiding other people as best we could and neither one of us was sick, so we decided to meet two days later. Now normally when I am talking to a guy, even if I like him well enough, I often hope something happens to end up canceling our meeting. Then I think to myself, how am I ever going to meet someone when I am thrilled that a date gets canceled? But I was sooo excited about our plans to meet and had he canceled I would have been really bummed. Our "first date" was sitting in my car in a Starbucks parking lot, lol. He arrived right on time, thankfully looked like his pictures and his personality was just as if not even better in person. He was a perfect gentleman, we just talked and held hands and I was a goner. I was so in like and that is very rare for me to click with someone like that right away. Most of my exes were people I was friends with first that I grew to like and love over time. Even if I feel a physical attraction and like their personality, it often takes me a while to figure out if I like them in a romantic way but with him, it was just an instantaneous connection and we both said several times how we are like the male/female version of each other.
The other thing that amazed me was when he was telling me about his kids. He has 3...two teenage girls and an 8-year-old son. He was telling me that his two girls were with his first wife...but then he said well we actually had 3 but our first daughter died, she was stillborn. H-o-l-y shit! I remember that being one of the things that made me very sad about leaving Ryan, that I was losing the person that I had this bond with over Kayla, and how nobody else would ever understand what I went through and my love for her. But Anthony has been through the exact same thing. Kayla was born at 22 weeks, and his daughter was born at 20 weeks. I mean, I know it happens sadly...I've met a lot of women who have been through it as well...but to meet a guy that I was so attracted to right from the very start, to feel this amazing connection with, and to share one of the most painful things we've ever been through....I was just amazed. When I told my aunt about him, she said maybe our babies in Heaven made our paths cross. I love that!
So, due to the lockdown and other factors like Emily being home a lot more, and his job that he got while he waited to get called back to his real job, we haven't gotten to see each other a ton so thank goodness for texting and phone calls. But even the second time we saw each other, it felt like we had known each other for years...he just feels like home to me. He started back to his real job last week, and with Emily going to her dad's again soon and the lockdown being lifted I am excited and looking forward to spending more time together!
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