I got the pleasure of taking Emily to the ER tonight. She's fine and we were back home within two hours. Thankfully it wasn't an "OMG we have to go to the ER now" kinda visit, I was just a bit concerned and would have just called her doctor had it been during business hours.
Lately she's been getting really phlegmy when drinking her bottle. She can usually fix it with a burp or her attempt at clearing her through, but tonight after her bottle her burp really bothered her, like it brought the phlegm up but not out and it was like stuck between her nose and throat. She cried a lot and everytime she breathed you could hear it rattling around in there.
I tried to suck some of it out with the bulb but felt like I was doing more harm than good. Finally she didn't seem to be struggling as much, but she was inconsolable. Sometimes just changing rooms helps, so we went out in the living room and within seconds she fell asleep on my chest. She woke up a few times like she was in distress but quickly went back to sleep, so I tried to put her down in her crib but she woke up and started scxreaming again. She was all phlegmy sounding again and she'd whimper and snort and then cry and her poor face was all red because she kept rubbing her eyes and she was crying.
I wasn't too worried about her right then, but I wasn't too keen on the idea of leaving her alone if she finally did go to sleep. I was worried she might still have issues breathing while sleeping. I was also concerned that maybe she was coming down with something. So off to the ER we went. She had a very low grade fever but that might have just been from being all worked up and upset. But the doctor said her lungs were clear and her ears were fine. She explained that babies her age aren't very good at clearing the crap out of their throats, but she hadn't aspirated and her lungs sounded fine so it was all just in her throat.
She said just sitting her upright and using the bulb to try to get it out is the best you can do. Actually she spit up quite a bit at the hospital so had I just waited a bit she probably would have done it at home and been fine. But, I'd say I did pretty good for my first trip to the ER freak out. Had it been during the day I likely would have just kept trying, or maybe called her doctor but just the fact that it was bedtime and I was worried about leaving her to sleep was the main reason I took her in. But everyone was very supportive of me bringing her in, saying they would have done the same thing when their kids were little. It's always nice to hear that you're not being an irrational worried first time mom. Or that I was, but everyone is like that.
So our outing cost a nice $350, but in ER terms, the wait wasn't long at all and I have peace of mind, and that is worth every penny.
So we're doing that walk for Kayla on Saturday. I'm excited, I hope there is a bigger turn out this year. Last year was the first one, so it was quite small, I'm hoping to see it continue to grow each year. I don't remember if I have written about this or not, but we fundraised again this year. Our goal was $300 and we had raised about $50 already when we got a single donation for $500! I was so amazed, what a generous gift! I was so happy that we were able to not only meet, but exceed our goal. Our babies funerals and grave markers are about the only thing we can do for our angels, and it makes me happy that we're able to help families do that who otherwise couldn't afford it.
There is a fairly new grave next to Kayla's, and for a while they had the temporary marker on it. I've seen other graves with those markers on them for as long as Kayla's been there, but now they're all gone. I assume the cemetery lets people use them as long as they don't need them, but when they start to run low they must go through and collect them all. There are several graves in the baby garden that just have a garden stone, or just flowers and teddy bears but no actual grave marker, most likely because the parents can't afford it. But this sweet baby has nothing on her grave, I am not even sure anymore where the actual grave is since the grass grew in. I wish I could contact those parents and buy them a grave marker. It makes me so sad. I think I'll buy a little something, maybe a spinner or something and put it there the next time I go. That sweet little girl should have at least something to show she's there.
So there is this local group that makes baby gowns for stillborns out of donated wedding dresses. I haven't yet been able to part with my wedding dress, but I donated a prom dress, a homecoming dress and two bridesmaid dresses since they need other colors for the boys vests and such. So anyway, they are teaming up with the organization that's doing the walk this Saturday, so they put something on FB about the walk, and the agenda for the day. The final thing of the day is a balloon release. So this one woman commented, oh please don't do the balloon release, it's bad for the environment, and a few people agreed so they said they would pass the concern along.
Oh shut the eff up. I hate litter bugs and garbage and I care about the environment, but I have never in my life found a balloon that had landed from a balloon release. If it were such a problem wouldn't they be found all over? But ya know what is found all over? Cigarette butts, paper, fast food garbage, etc. Why don't they go after the pigs that leave this crap lying all over the place, and let us have our balloon release. I'll be pissed if I find out this person isn't even a loss mom. Don't butt in telling us what to do or not to do to honor our babies. I hardly think releasing some balloons for our babies is going to send the world into a tailspin. Go pick up garbage on the side of the highway if you're that concerned. Besides, I am less inclined to pick up trash because you never know what's on it, where it's been. But I think most people would pick up a landed balloon with a note on it, if nothing else, to be nosey and read the note.
Eeeeks, I am one tired mama, I am off to bed.
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