Grandparents

I was just cleaning out an old purse and it must have been the one I carried to my grandpa's funeral because the eulogy I wrote for him was in there.  It's been almost 3.5 years since he and my grandma passed and I miss them so much.  They were the best grandparents ever.  They played with us, kissed boo boo's, we're always proud of us, hung on every word we said, and were always so happy to see us.  After my grandma passed, my grandpa mentally checked out.  His physical body died 23 days later but I firmly believe his soul went to Heaven the same day my grandma did.  He loved his family, but he had no interest whatsoever in a life without her.

My grandpa had always had health issues.  He became an insulin dependent diabetic at 50 and had many scares and hospitalizations due to it, he had a couple minor heart attacks and he had West Nile and was in a coma for a couple months, and was said that he would likely not walk again or without assistance and would have to re-learn how to speak.  Within days of getting his trach out he was telling stories just like always, and after a couple months gave up the walker altogether.  He walked all on his own, albeit much slower than before, but he defied all the prognosis his doctors gave him.

So the fact that he lived till 84 and was very active for many of those years surprised us all.  In his last few years we all became accustomed to the phone calls that he was back in the hospital, and in his final months we were all bracing ourselves for the news that he was finally in peace.  But my world was rocked to the core when the phone call came and that it was my grandma who had passed.  As far as we know my grandma was very healthy.  In all those years she had only been hospitalized once because she slipped and broke her hip.  Mentally she was very sharp, always up on world news and current events.  I never in a million years guessed my grandma would go first and it hit me really hard.  She was my best friend and I was lost without her.

I was so angry at first.  I hadn't gotten to say goodbye, I had missed her last couple phone calls, and she went from just not feeling well one day, to dead the next.  I hated the thought of losing my grandpa, but he had had so many health problems, we had all accepted that the day would come, and we would be happy for him to not be in pain anymore.  We knew my grandma was independent enough to go on without him and live out however many good years she had left.  We were just all in shock.

But as we watched his health take a huge drop after her passing, I began to understand.  My grandpa should have died probably 20 times or more through our his life.  Like a cat he just seemed to keep withdrawing a new life every time he was hit with something that would have killed anyone else.  I think he could have been hanging by a thread, and many times he was, but he would never leave the love of his life.  So she had to go first, to make it ok for him.  I believe the day she died, he died too of a broken heart, and he decided he was done.  It was ok for him to let go so he could follow her.  It took a little while for his body to give out, but it was just a matter of time.

He went from sitting up in bed and having lucid conversations, to just being a shell of a man, sleeping all day and sitting in his wheelchair in the hallway, not even aware of anyone's existence.  He would occasionally mutter something, usually it was unintelligible, but one day my uncle said he was saying something about his four babies, and my uncle said that was us.  He loved us and worried about us until his final breaths.

As Thanksgiving approaches, I just wanted to reflect on how thankful I am for my grandparents.  I was lucky enough to have them with me until I was 33.  I wish so much they could have met Emily, but I know they keep my Kayla safe in their arms, and I know they watch over us every day.  But I also want to say how thankful I am for Emily's grandparents.  I love that she has such a close bond with all four of them, and they would walk on water for her.  Em never got to meet my mom, but she will know all about her as she grows, and she is so lucky to have my stepmom who loves her just as much as her own flesh and blood.

Me and my girls are very very lucky :)