Friday, December 4, 2015

My kid can take your kid

I officially have THAT kid.  I dropped Emily off at my stepmom's the other day so she could have a play date with her brother's granddaughter.  A is about three months younger than Em so we figured they would have a good time.  Don't get me wrong, I am sure they did, but there was some non-sharing going on, and some slaps, and surprise surprise, the culprit was my kid.

Then a couple days later she and I went shopping with my MIL and we went to Carter's.  They have a Duplo table in the middle of the store for kids to play with, so she sat there and played for a bit while we shopped.  Each end has a little net full of Duplo's.  After a little while another mom and her daughter came in, and she went right to Em and the table.  At first they did their usual non-verbal kid speak of "hey I'm a kid, and your a kid too, how fun", as they stared at one another and flapped their arms and smiled.  But then new kid dared to want to play with the Duplos too, so Emily kept going over and taking hers, and then she yanked the girl's hat off her head!

Luckily it was a cool mom and I kept telling Em to share and not to hit or anything and the mom just kept saying it's ok, she's alright.....'cause ya know, wouldn't want to have to have a throw down in the middle of Carter's with another mom.  Just kidding....sort of ;)

Luckily the other little girl didn't cry until she stepped back and ended up toppling over the chair, which my kid had nothing to do with!  So, I know her behavior is normal.  She's 20 months old, approaching her terrible two's (or has been in them since she turned one), has no siblings to have to share with or communicate with to learn not to hit, and rarely spends time with other kids.  When she does, they are all older, like 3-9 years older.  I think with older kids she is a little better behaved because she may feel intimidated by them, and even when she does have a tantrum or something, older kids are more understanding because to them she is just a baby.

But I think with kids her age, she feels at least equal if not a bit superior to them, and as she doesn't understand it's not ok to hit and she has to share, the other kids her age don't understand why she is doing these things.  And while I know it is normal, I also think it's a bit of her personality too.  Despite not knowing how to share and effectively communicate, I am sure some kids (like her recent victims) are more laid back and/or shy and would be less likely to try to steal toys or hit, whereas I think Em will tend to be the alpha dog in her relationships with others.

But my bump moms made me feel better.  As much as I would tell another parent that this behavior is completely normal for her age, I still second guessed myself because it is difficult to be the mom of THAT kid who is bullying other kids.  Normal or not, it's hard not to worry that you're raising a little demon.  So A's mom requested another play date for next week, so things must not have gone that bad.  They probably won't get together a ton because they don't live real close, but it's nice knowing there is another little girl close in age that she can play with from time to time.

I also hope to get together with my cousin and her daughter.  K is six months younger than Em....we went to visit last year when Em was 8 months and K was 2, but now they're both walking and could interact more.  I also found a few groups at the library....though this week I didn't do so well getting to them.  Wednesday there was a toddler craft program which I really wanted to do because Em doing crafts and making a mess elsewhere is always good, and I need ideas for crafts to do with her at this age.  But, I didn't end up falling asleep until 6am that morning, and I would have had to get up at 8 to make it there at 10.  Did not happen.

So the next day there was a playgroup for 1-4 year olds.  I figured that one would be good because at most some kids would be two years older than her, but hopefully some the same age as well.  I told my husband to wake me up when he got home, but he kind of forgot and I ended up oversleeping.  Emily used to be my alarm, waking me up at 8, but lately she has been sleeping in until 9, 9:30 and often doesn't start squawking until 10.

But the play group runs twice a month, so hopefully we can make it to the next one this month.  This morning I absolutely had to get up because I was taking her for her Christmas pictures at 10 (why is everything at 10?).  So I woke up at 8 (after ignoring my alarm for 45 minutes).  My husband was all hyper and telling me a story when he got home from work....his weekend starts on Friday mornings so he often comes home all giddy and happy on Fridays, and his exuberance woke her up.  But I was able to shower before she wanted to get out of her crib.  I have to say, it was kind of nice to get up early-ish and before her so I could get ready.  Maybe, mayyyybe I will try that next week.  It's so hard to get motivated to start my day when I have to get her breakfast and stuff first thing when I wake up.
So her pictures went well.  I wanted to do two backgrounds, a christmas one and then a silver one with a little sled for her to sit on, but by the time the christmas background was done, so was she.  It was pretty funny, she wouldn't cooperate much, kept leaving the spot she was supposed to sit to come to me, then she'd start crying and walk out of the room, and she even uttered a few "stop its" and one "stop it now".  I told her to come back in, Minnie was in there.  Then the assistant whipped out a Minnie Mouse doll.  I was like whoa, I was lying to get her back in here, I didn't know you really had one.  So I was bummed we only got one pic with the silver background, and she was playing on my phone....but the christmas background ones came out great.  It was the first time she's ever smiled for pro pics.

It's also not a bad thing we didn't have a ton of pics to choose from, as it was it was hard to pick.  But I did good, I walked out of there only $82 poorer.  That's not bad at all considering how much we spent at this other place in the past.  Now we've just got to get our Christmas tree so we can take a family picture in front of it and use those for our Christmas cards.  We're going to try to do the three of us plus the dog.  Ha, we'll see how that goes.

I have this long list of projects that I keep putting off, and today I stopped and bought the tools I needed to turn our bi-fold closet doors into french doors.  So tonight I was in the basement cleaning the litter boxes and thought, I'm going to paint Emily's closet doors!  I gathered up all the painting stuff, and two hours later I was done.  All this time they have just been that ugly off white primer color, with wooden door pulls.  So I painted the doors a soft pink, and put cute little daisy door pulls on instead of the wooden ones.  It really makes the whole closet look so much better.  So maybe tomorrow I will turn them into french doors, I hate bi-fold doors.

I left her window open and had the fan on, but it must not have been a low-VOC paint because it still smelled quite a bit by bed time.  I was too nervous to get her sleep in the fumes, so she's in our room in a pack n play.  Thank God my aunt gave us one a while back.  We have a brand new one in our camper, that's where she sleeps when we stay there, and we just recently bought that one while we were in Chicago since the stupid hotel didn't have a crib, but that one is at my stepmom's so Em has a place to nap when she is there.

So thankfully I remembered the one in the basement my aunt gave us.  We've never used it....my intention was for Em to nap in it while I worked out downstairs, but my working out doesn't happen often, and I know now she likely wouldn't go down for a nap if I am right there working out.  But it saved us tonight, I don't know where she would have slept if it hadn't been for that.  I bought her a small inflatable mattress for Disneyworld, just in case we have the same crib debacle.  But she's yet to sleep on it, and she could of course get up in the middle of the night or in the morning and neither our room nor the office is baby proofed, so that wouldn't have worked....and I don't trust letting her sleep in our bed.  I still feel like she is too little and I would worry about rolling onto her or something, and our bed is kind of high.  That would be a long fall if she fell out of bed.

She's so cute, she makes me smile every day.  I know she knows I am mama, but she doesn't call me it often, and when I ask where mama is she points to herself and says mama.  So the other day I was looking at my time hop pics on my phone, and one was of me from like 9 years ago.  She looked at it and said mama, mama.  Awww, all the feels!  Then today I took her outside real quick without a coat to see our Christmas lights lit up on the house.  We stood there for a minute looking at them, and then she shivered and said coooold!  I used to keep track of her words but she has so many now, I gave up.  I swear she has a new word almost everyday.  My little smarty :)

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