My mom. You always took such great care of me. You played with me, comforted me when I had a nightmare, read books and sang songs, baked with me, dried my tears and made me smile. We had some years where we fought like hell cats, but it only made me appreciate the years when we came back together and were not only mother and daughter, but friends. I was number one in your eyes, every accomplishment was huge to you and I always looked beautiful. You made a big deal out of everything no matter how small. I can't believe you've been gone for almost ten years. It seems like just yesterday and there hasn't been a day gone by that I haven't thought of you. I was an adult when you left us, but still so much a child who needed her mommy....and I still do. I only hope you are watching over me every day, and proud of the woman I have become. I love you so much mom!
My grandma. You were not only a second mother to me, you were my best friend. I loved to snuggle with you as a child, talk to you on the phone for hours and demanded to see you at least once a week, and none of that changed as I became an adult. If I had good news to share I called you; if I had a rough day, I called you. You were always a warm loving voice who always picked me up and gave me encouragement. You remembered my friends' names, even if you never met them. You knew what was hot in hollywood and all the latest gossip. Even though I am sure you didn't always agree with me, you always had my back and were on my side. Seeing your name on my caller ID always made me smile and I have so many happy memories with you. You've been gone almost two years now and I miss you so much. I was heartbroken the day we lost you but I was so lucky to have a grandma as wonderful as you.
My mother-in-law. Everyone knows MILs are notorious for being controlling, toe-stepping, jealous women who think no one is good enough for their baby boy. But when it comes to MILs I feel like I won the lottery. It's like God gave me an amazing MIL because my own mom left this world too soon. She is compassionate, funny, caring, and one of the strongest women I know. I can go to her for advice about her son and not offend her or have her get upset. She and I often talk on the phone, go shopping together or just text back and forth. I was so blessed to marry the love of my life, and marry into such a wonderful family as well.
My stepmom. She'll likely never really be my stepmom because they're probably both too set in their ways to ever marry, but in my heart she is. I had a really hard time with it when she came into the family. She felt like a replacement for my mom and while it was nice to see my dad happy, it was sad to see him doing things with her that he used to do with my mom. But over the years I've accepted it, and I've seen what a great addition she has become to our family and how good she and my dad are. It cannot be easy to be with a widower....he and my mom are not separated because they stopped loving each other, but by death. So it must be tough to have to compete against the woman he loved for 30 some years, the mother of his children. But she's always been so gracious, never once stepping on toes or trying to force a relationship between her and me. I've never felt like she was trying to take my mom's place. She's also a very strong woman, she's faced more struggles in her life than any one person should have to, but she seems to have come out smiling. They may not be blood, but she loves my daughters as if they were her own, and I love her for that.
Kayla, my first born. From the moment I found out you were on your way, I couldn't supress my grin. I was so excited for your arrival, and couldn't wait to be a mom. From feeling your kicks to seeing you sucking your thumb on the ultrasound, I was one proud momma. My world fell apart when we were told you would be born at 22 weeks and that you would not survive. A piece of my heart died with you that day and it will never fully heal. I held you in my arms for hours, and you were so perfect. I'll never hear you cry, and I've bought you a gravestone and decorations for your grave instead of toys and books and clothes, but I'll never ever regret it. I'd do it all over again just to hold you once more. I know you watch down over all of us, and I'll see you again one day. I love you Kayla.
Emily, my baby. You lit up our lives when everything around us was dark. You gave us hope, and you made us smile again. The day you were born was the happiest day of my life, and I cannot wait to watch you grow up. You're so beautiful, you look like your big sister, and like me. I love to watch you sleep, and snuggle you in my arms. I'll miss the baby days, but I look forward to getting to know your personality as you learn and grow. You're my beautiful miracle baby, a bright shining rainbow after a thunderous storm. I love you Emily.
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I had a very nice mother's day. I slept in a little (as much as Emily would let me) and got up while Ryan ran to the store to join the other frantic men buying last minute mother's day items. He got me a card and wrote messages from Kayla, Emily and himself and he got me my favorite truffles. I also got a bench swing for the yard. I am so excited, I love them and have always wanted one, so soon Em and I can go relax outside and swing and people watch.
Then we got ready and went to my inlaws for dinner. As usual it was amazing with steak, baked potato, ceasar salad and rolls. We had a nice afternoon, just sitting around and talking with my family and everyone cooing over Emily. We made it through another family dinner of Emily laying peacefully in her pack n' play while we ate. I think my SIL is keeping count :)
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