Female teacher, male student

I don't often watch Dr. Phil, but today I had some time so I sat down to watch.  The issue was a high school teacher, Joelle Ogletree, and one of her accusers, a former student who claims she had inappropriate sexual relations with him.  Now, I don't know all of the details because prior to today's episode, I had never heard of the case, but I just have to say that I am pretty appalled by how much of the audience sided with her.

Of course I don't know for sure if she is guilty or innocent, but from what I saw on the show, some of her actions were very very poorly thought out, so I do not think it is much of a stretch to think the allegations are true.  Her court case resulted in a mistrial for whatever reason.  First, she admits that the boy had been over to her house on at least one, if not two occasions (to help move a piano, the one time they both agreed that the woman's husband was at home).  She admits to driving him someplace at least once, maybe twice I believe, and she admits to writing him three notes in code.

I think this happened about 5 or 6 years ago, so around 2009, 2010.  In this day and age, how stupid does a person have to be to put themselves in situations that could easily look bad to others?  There is no reason a teacher should have a student in her home, regardless of who else is there, give him rides places, and write him coded notes.  No reason at all.  The notes were written with the first letter of each word, so one of them read ISWYWJFM.  The student says the note meant, I sometimes wish you would just fuck me.  The teacher claims it says I sometimes wish you were just funnier Matt.

I'm sorry, but her version just doesn't make sense, and is a weird thing to say to somebody.  Regardless though, it is totally inappropriate to write a coded, flirtatious note to a student like that, regardless of what it says.  She was their teacher, not a fellow student exchanging immature notes.  I also found it telling that she didn't submit to a lie detector for the show, stating that she had already taken and passed one before.  Hmm, was she perhaps afraid she might not pass it this time?  Just like Matt took one for the show and failed, but took one previously that he passed?

There is a reason why polygraph tests are not admissible in court.  Maybe he was lying, but maybe he wasn't.  I don't think I would do well on a polygraph.  I get very nervous is situations like these, I often can't wipe the shit eaten' grin off my face when people do not believe me, even when I am 100% telling the truth.  I got interrogated twice by loss prevention in retail jobs (once because the LP officer was a dick and thought I did something wrong, which I did not, and the second time just because I was working the day something happened and they had to interview everyone that was working that day).  Both times I knew I didn't do anything wrong, the second time I hadn't even known there was an issue, but I was still nervous and sweating.  I wouldn't be surprised if my nerves made it appear that I would lie on a polygraph.

But I think the thing that enrages me the most about this whole case is the majority of people do not believe the boys.  But what if it were the other way around?  What if it were girls, accusing a male teacher?  The lynch mobs would be out in masses.  And when it is female teacher against male student, most peoples' attitude it, what's the problem, getting it on with a hot female teacher is every teenage boy's fantasy.  Well that may be in some cases, but that doesn't make it any less wrong for an adult to behave in that manner with what is legally a child.  Women do a lot of complaining that we are not treated fairly in this world, but this is definitely one case that I do not agree with the double standard of acceptance that female accusers receive vs male accusers.

Of course I can never say if the teacher really did do these things, and I think it is horrific if she is innocent and these boys made it all up.  But, she admits to having put herself in the situation that no teacher or person of authority over children should be in, so by her own doing, she did not paint a very good picture of her integrity and responsibility as an educator.  I think more than likely the boys did exaggerate things, and start rumors.  Hopefully no physical action was ever taken, but I do think she absolutely flirted, and made sexual innuendos to these students which was beyond inappropriate.  I read somewhere that she was 24 at the time, so just 8 years older.  Young yes, but old enough to know better, especially given her position as an authority figure.

It should also be noted that she herself married her former high school teacher.  Does this automatically make her a pedophile?  No, but it does cause one to scratch their heads.  If she was already married to him when this took place, they must have married when she was quite young, meaning, not very far out of high school herself.  Which begs the question....did they have some sort of inappropriate relationship when she was in high school?  Maybe not sex, but was there a flirtatious, "one of the kids" relationship between her as a student and her husband as her teacher?  Is that perhaps why she thought it was ok to behave that way with her own students?  It makes you wonder.

He was in the audience at the Dr. Phil show, and let me tell you, he looks quite a bit older.  Legal as it may be, it always makes me say hmmm when a much older man has an interest in a younger woman, especially when that woman was once his student.  I would say there were lots of mistakes, poor judgement and wrong doing by all parties in this case.  If the boys are lying, even a little bit, then shame on them.  But as the adult and teacher in this case, the burden fell on her to not let things get to a point where rumors could fly.  Hearing things like this always make me nervous as a mom, knowing that there are people out there like that.

When I was in the 8th grade, I had a shop teacher who always acted a little funny with me.  He never did anything so glaring that it gave me reason to report him for anything, but he always made me uncomfortable and made me wonder if he was capable of doing something that crossed the line.  I had him for 7th grade woodshop which was a required elective, and then again in 8th grade when I choose it as an elective.  Much to my dismay, other girls do not tend to take woodshop when they don't have to, so it was just me and another girl with a class full of boys, until she moved away and I was last girl standing.

Ordinarily I think it would have been fine, most of the boys were nice and helped me, or were impressed when I didn't need the help.  But my teacher began showing favoritism toward me.  He probably thought he was being nice to me, but in reality he just singled me out, giving me special treatment and letting me get away with things that the boys didn't, which just made them dislike me and treat me bad, when they never did before.  We weren't allowed to have pop in class, but one day he came in and scared me by coming up behind me and putting the cold can against my neck, and then offering it to me.  I already had an A, but he gave me extra credit tasks to do, when kids with lower grades who needed the extra credit couldn't get it.

Our final projects were graded by him placing them on A, B, C, and D tables without knowing whose was whose.  Mine was originally placed on a B table but when he saw it was mine, he moved it to the A table.  He supposedly took all of his A students to lunch at McDonalds on the first day of summer (I say supposedly because I don't know if this was something he ever did before, and I am sure it was not ok'd through the school), but I didn't show up.  There weren't many other A students in the class, and I was worried that they either wouldn't show and I would be stuck alone with him, or perhaps he might have told the others it was a different day or something.  Regardless I knew he made me uncomfortable enough to be skeptical so I didn't go.

As an adult, I look back and think maybe I should have said something to somebody.  But he never really did anything concretely bad.  I mean, maybe the school wouldn't have been ok with him taking us to lunch, but I never felt like he did anything bad enough to get him in trouble.  But I definitely wish I had approached him and told him his preferential treatment of me, while appreciated because I know he felt sorry for me being the only girl, was only making things worse for me.  Of course I know many students go through so much worse, and I don't by any means consider myself to be a victim of any sort.  But it is frightening to know there are teachers out there that act less than honorably, and it makes me wonder how close they are to crossing the line over into criminal if given the chance.  I feel bad for Mrs. Ogletree if the allegations against her are not true, BUT, maybe it was a blessing in disguise.  Perhaps thid has given her a wake up call to stop behaving in these inappropriate ways with her students.  Maybe next time she wouldn't be so lucky to have her case dropped, or maybe one day she would take things too far and actually cross that line, if she hadn't already.

Like I said, my teacher never actually did anything that would be considered criminal, but if I ever heard that he was accused of anything like this, I have to say, I would not be surprised in the least.  At a minimal, I would assume he at least acted in such a way that put him in a position to be accused of more.