When I was a little girl, all my mom dreamed about was having me be the girliest girl that she could dress up in dresses and ribbons and bows. My middle name is Lacey, if that tells you anything. But I was far from it. Maybe I wasn't born to be a girly girl, or maybe in part I resisted because that is what she wanted me to be. It wasn't until I became an adult, and long after she had passed that I embraced my more girly side. Don't get me wrong, I was never an all out tomboy, but I liked wearing pants, and I liked playing in the dirt. I hated having my hair curled and wearing dresses. To this day I wear dresses when the occasion calls for it, but when I was working if I showed up to the office in a dress or a skirt, people would joke and ask if I had an interview later because I never wore them.
I even used to torment my mom and tell her I would wear a black wedding dress with Chucks on my wedding day. I was only half serious, but I knew it really grinded her gears when I said that. I've always been on the more casual side....I would never have been mistaken for a boy, but there was a time I enjoyed dressing out of my brother's closet in his big comfy sweatshirts and being a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. However in the last 10-15 years, I have become more in touch with my feminine side.
I wore a strapless cocktail dress to the symphony on our first wedding anniversary and I was annoyed that I was the most dressed up woman there. I am often the only woman in my family to wear a dress or a skirt to a family wedding or something....most of my aunts wear dress pants and a sweater. I now enjoy getting my nails done, wearing make up and wearing (some) jewelry. It's not that I ever hated being girly, I just liked it when the occasion called for it. But on a regular basis, I wanted to be in jeans and tennis shoes, chasing the kittens through the barn on my grandparents farm, where as my mom would have preferred I wore dresses and played tea party.
On my wedding day, I didn't go all out girly, but I did wear white (and heels) and my look was soft and romantic. Though I often wonder, did my appreciation for being more feminine just come with age, or was it because my mom, who always pushed the girliness, was no longer here? I was sad that she didn't get to enjoy my wedding day, when I wore exactly what she had always hoped I would. So clearly, I do not push the ultra girly on my daughter. Yes I buy her pink, yes I buy her cute dresses and I insist she wears a nice dress for holidays, which I will continue to do even once she can speak up and possibly voice a dislike to it, because I believe no matter what your style, there is a time and a place for everything.
Yes her room is pink and gray, but the pink is understated, her walls are gray and her furniture is dark colored wood, with pink accents through out the room, but when she is old enough to decide how she wants her room decorated, we can do it however she wants, whether it be girly or not. When buying her clothes, I definitely gravitate toward pink and purple, but I make sure to get a variety of other colors too.
So I certainly don't understand pushing being girly onto girls, but I also don't understand the effort to push non-girly things, just to prove that girls don't have to be girly. For instance, there is a new girls' clothing company designed by moms called Princess Awesome. Emily recently received a dress from there as a gift. It's cute, it's a onesie with a skirt attached, and on the skirt is a floral pattern with little ninjas hiding in plain sight. But if I never ever told anyone, no one would likely ever realize or notice the ninjas. They also have clothes with hidden dinosaurs and the symbol for Pi.
I am not against it per se, in a way I agree with the message that someone can be girly, but also kick ass with her little ninjas dress. But I kind of feel like too many people, women in particular, fight the girly image for no reason. No, I do not think my daughter should have to play with the pink legos just because she is a girl. No, I do not think she has to wear dresses because she is a girl. But if she prefers to wear dresses and play with pink legos, I will let her.
I am not going to push being girly, but I also don't understand not letting a girl be girly, just to prove a point. I recently started using the razors that my husband gets from the dollar shave club. I love them, they shave very close, and they're cheap. I know pink razors do not shave any better for women then black ones do, but I admit, if dollar shave club had pink razors, I would buy them. Why? I don't know, I just like it. My husband bought me my own safety glasses and ear protection for when we go to the shooting range, and my ear protection has a little pink on them. Of course women can go to the range and use the same ones men use, but I like that there is the option. Besides, it's easier to tell mine apart from his.
I guess I just feel like sometimes the world gets a little too into a cause, and instead of advocating choice, they end up pushing to choose the other thing, rather than the thing that society has always thought people should choose. Neither is right. I won't push my daughter toward more boy stuff or gender neutral stuff just because I don't want to push her toward girl stuff. She likes to watch Sophia the First and Minnie Mouse, but she also likes Blaze and Paw Patrol. I am fine with that.
If I had to guess right now, I would say she is going to lean more toward the girly side. She is always getting into my purse, so my MIL gave her an old purse for her to play with, and gave her a bunch of little stuff to keep in it. She had a blast wearing the purse cross body, putting her stuff in it, pretending to put on make up with the brushes, and pretending to put on chapstick with the sealed tube. When I show her a dress I bought her, she usually gets excited and says oooooh. I am not going to deny her those things if she wants them, just to prove she can do whatever she wants. But if she wants to go outside and toss the football around with her cousin, she can do that too. That's the beauty of choice.
No comments:
Post a Comment