Excited?

I'm about to sound a little ridiculous, but I am getting kind of excited about seeing the RE...so much that I was thinking of going sooner than January.  I think my excitement just comes from the fact that I found a doctor that looks good....in fact she is part of a 3 doctor team at a fertility clinic in my hometown.  Funny, I had no idea there was a fertility clinic there, but then again I was never looking for one before.  Before the idea of going to an RE scared the crap out of me because I had no clue of how to go about finding one, what all the steps would be.  I guess before I looked into it, I kind of thought seeking help from a specialist meant spendng $15,000 for in-vitro.  I know, it's silly but when you aren't educated on something your mind just jumps to ridiculous places.

But I have decided to stick with the same time frame of January.  Obviously losing weight, ovulating on my own and getting pregnant naturally is always a better solution than being on drugs.  Plus I want my husband to go with me and he'll be laid off then, and this will of course cost money, so it would be good to start a savings for it, so that we'll have something for tests and treatment that may not be covered.  As much as I wanted to be pregnant yesterday, another 4 months to see if my body will cooperate won't matter much in the grand scheme of things.  And even though my doctor said it wouldn't be terrible to get pregnant at this weight, hopefully losing 25 pounds by the time I go is always a good thing.

I finally stopped spotting  from the biospy, I thought it would never end.  I wish that had been my period, I never thought I would miss my period so much.  I went to my friend's son's 3rd birthday party yesterday.  I snuggled with her baby all day, he's six months old....he's such a little pumpkin, I just love him.  She doesn't have a date set yet, but he'll be baptized soon and she asked me to be his Godmother, I'm so excited.  I think I already wrote about that....oh well.  He's a very good baby, always happy, smiling and laughing, but when he is hungry watch out.  He fusses for about 5 minutes and then it's all out screaming for his bottle.  He started to get fussy and my friend was still busy cleaning up from the party, so I changed his diaper, got him in his jammies and gave him a bottle.  He got about halfway through and fell asleep in my arms.

I think that's one of the things I am looking forward to most when I have a baby....being in his nursery with just a dim lamp on, feeding him a bottle (or nursing, depending if I can) and rocking him to sleep.  That sounds wonderful.  Sometimes I just stand in the doorway of the spare room and picture it with a crib and rocking chair....hopefully those items will be in there very soon.