Ouch

I went to the gyno yesterday.  The main purpose of the visit was to get provera since he won't just prescribe it over the phone, though I still didn't get it.  However I understand his thinking...why just keep handing it out rather than trying to find the root cause?  So he did an endometrial biopsy.  I of course do not have the results back yet, but just from what he could see with the lighted scope, he said everything looks good and it all looks like healthy tissue.  So that's good at least.

I asked him about the Maca, but he said the problem with supplements is that they are not required to go through the testing and clinical trials and research that medications are, so he cannot say they are bad, but cannot say they are good.  He said it probably didn't cause my miscarriage, but that's all he can say is probably.  I already was hesitant to take it again, and now that I have heard from two doctors that they cannot say whether it's ok to take, I've decided not to.

I also asked him about my weight.  He agreed with me that of course the healtheir the better and to be a little thinner would be ideal, but no it would not be terrible for me to get pregnant at my current weight.  This made me feel a lot better, since the pressure to lose weight is making it hard to actually do it.  I was concerned that say I O out of the blue, or maybe losing as little as 15 pounds would be enough to get me Oing again, that I would have to hold off on actually getting pregnant until I've lost like 25 or more.  So it made me feel a lot better to hear from him that it wouldn't really be that dangerous or whatever to get KU now.

On that note, I did lose aother 1.5 pounds this week, so overall I've lost three.  I was going to work out earlier but felt really lazy so I skipped it, but then I felt guilty later so I worked out at 9:30 at night, and burned 500 calories!  That's a nice calorie burn anyway, but for so late at night it's really good.  Normally anytime after 7pm and I say forget it.

So even though I still don't have a ton of answers, I feel more hopeful.  Of course the results of the biopsy will be more telling, but I think it's definitely a good sign that he didn't see anything out of the ordinary....since I got pregnant before obviously at least one of my tubes is not blocked, and my husband's sperm count must not be too bad (if it is bad at all) since he did get me KU once already.  So really it seems like it is just the issue of not ovulating...I know that is a big issue, but since I am quite certain it is due to my weight, it seems like a relatively easy fix.  I mean of course losing weight isn't easy, but it's something I can do.  Unlike women who unfortunately don't know why they aren't Oing, or they have a blocked tube, or the many other reasons.  I feel hopeful and hope is a good thing, hope will keep me motivated to keep going and lose weight.

On a bad note, man did that biopsy hurt.  Speculum instertion has never been a walk in the park, but since dealing with vaginismu it's even less fun.  And as much as I love my doctor, let's face it, most male doctors are a little less gentle with that than women are.  So I was really trying to focus on not clenching up while the speclum was in, which thankfully was about less than 2 minutes, but when something is painfully rammed up you, two minutes than feel like two hours.  Then the scraping of the cells caused some pretty awful cramping.  It actually wasn't too bad during it, but along with the speculum discomfort it just wasnt fun....it made me sweat.  I think my pain tolerance is getting worse as I get older.  It seems like I used to be able to handle so much more.  I had better get used to it though if I am going to have a kid.  But my doctor is such a sweetie, afterward he said I did great and gave me a hug.  I'm really sad he isn't delivering babies anymore and won't be my OB when the time comes.

So I went home and had some significant spotting and the cramps got worse through the evening.  By 7pm I was whimpering on the couch with a heating pad and took some ibuprofen.  I'd say they were some of if not the worst cramps I've ever had.  Thankfully they either went away or the meds and heating pad worked because I felt much better later, and fine today.  I hope they get the results back soon.