Vent

I have to vent about something.  After waiting 15 months and getting nowhere for the last 9, it really bugs me to hear people complaining about not being able to get pregnant with their second or third or fourth.  Yes I am bitter and yes I am jealous....

I know for those poeple it is a valid want; their baby is growing up and they want to experience pregnancy again, they want to expand their family, they want to try for that boy/girl that they don't currently have, they want to give their existing children a sibling.  I get it....but when you have nothing at all, it's not always easy to see the validity in their want.  At this point I would be thrilled to have just one and it makes me angry to hear people who do have one whine about not getting another, especially if their first came so easy to them.

But, today is the first day of September, so maybe next month I can get in to see the RE and start doing something about it.  Fingers crossed!

I had my friend and her two boys over for lunch today.  If I can't be a mom yet, the next best thing is spending time with them.  Her three year old is so cute...he's starting to get into his independent sassy ways.  I shouldn't laugh when he does stuff like that because I know it only reinforces it, but I can't help it, he's so funny.  I swear he rolled his eyes at her a few times, like geeze mom, you're soooo lame.  And I just love her baby to millions of pieces, he'll be 7 months old soon and is just the cutest little thing.  He smiles.all.the.time.  Today he was in his little rocker chair thing on the floor while we were eating, Vinny walked by and just gave him a giant face full of tail (and Vinny's tail is like the thickness of four cat's tails put together) and Nolan was just beaming once you could see his face again.  I love to toss him in the air and play airplane....he apparently loves it too. 

Sure seeing them makes me realize just how much I want a baby of my own, but I seriously could not be in a bad mood around them no matter how hard I try.  I just hope our little one can come along soon, and it will be fun that they'll have automatic playmates.  Of course Mason will be about 4 years older than them but if Nolan is hopefully only about a year and a half older than my kid, they could eventually be good buddies and Mason could be the protective older friend.  I just hope they all like each other, ha.