Ok so today will be my last summary of the day's potty training events, until she really gets it. I'm mostly documenting this so that if we do end up having another kid, I can remember how PTing went with Em, and it would likely be useful for any readers who want to try this method and want to know others' experience.
Today was a bit of a set back. She had her first poo. I tried to get her to go potty several times, which she was resisting more than yesterday. Since we added clothes, she has not initiated going potty herself at all. She did it all the time when naked, so that stinks. Finally around noon I noticed she seemed to be shying away behind a piece of furniture, so we ran to the potty but it was too late, the poo was already in her pants.
So we stripped the pants off and set her on the potty. She did manage to poo a little more and pee in the potty. I have no idea if that little bit of poo in the potty gave her any kind of confidence to do it again in the future. So we got cleaned up, and into new pants. About 30 minutes later she wet her pants. Onto pair number 3. My MIL was coming to get her since she didn't get her the other day and she said they were going to go shopping. I reminded her that she might want to keep it a short shopping trip since she doesn't have a diaper on. She asked if she has training pants or a pull up and I said neither.
I am certain all of the grandparents think I am absolutely insane. I know this is very different from how they did it, but if in another week or two she is completely trained, I think this in limbo period will be well worth it. So I gave her a puppy pad to put in the car seat and suggested she take it in the store as well. A few hours went by and I hadn't heard anything, so I text her, asking how it went. She said she did great in the store, no potty till they got home. Whew!
Though she did wet her pants again once they were home (onto pair number 4), but luckily she was standing on the dog rug when she did it. But she did get her to the potty quickly and she peed some more in the potty. I told her to go ahead and put her in a diaper once she got her jammies on. She was in her jammies when I got there to pick her up, and I stayed for about an hour, and then there was probably another hour before she went to bed once we left, picked up dinner, and she played for a bit once we were home. So she was likely in a diaper for at least 2-3 hours before bed tonight. I hope that didn't confuse the hell out of her. She also pooped again, in her diaper. So I am not sure if she was holding it till she had a diaper on or not.
So....I know it is only day 5, but I am really hoping she begins to progress more with pants on. Even if she won't initiate, I hope she at least will go when I prompt her to. Today and sometimes yesterday she either protested, or cried and begged to be let off the toilet. The author said there will come a point where you worry they'll never "get it", a few pairs of wet pants are completely normal and you'll feel helpless and want to just go back to diapers. I think I am officially there. Her enormous success on the naked days got my hopes up that this was going to be a snap, so I am getting a little nervous now. I am off to re-read the info about block two. Maybe now that we are a few days into block 2, I will read something I had forgotten about, a tip that will make all the difference. Or at least some reassurance that everything is normal, and one of these days everything will just click and poof, she'll be trained.
I put in our new toilet seat today. We had been wanting a new one anyway, so I decided to get one with the toddler seat built in. It's so cute, it's held up into the lid by a magnet, and when you need it, just pull it down. It will be so nice to not have that stupid ring (that doesn't really fit well into an oblong toilet seat) that we have to keep moving each time we need to go. It will likely still be a while before she uses the big toilet, but she's so tiny, I think that seat will work for her for a long time.
Friday, April 29, 2016
Thursday, April 28, 2016
Potty training, Day 4, block 2
This will be short and sweet. It's late and I am sleepy. Today was good, I suppose. She wasn't very willing to use the potty when I asked her to, and she sat on the potty many times with no results. I want to say she only peed in the potty twice. BUT, she did not pee in her pants at all. So that is a victory. I didn't give her many extra liquids today, so waiting around for her to pee was painful. If she drinks a glass of milk for breakfast and another one at lunch, she usually will not pee until in her diaper during nap.
My brother needed me to come over today for something, and since we hadn't have any accidents yet today I figured it would be a good time to try a small outing. I took her potty ring with us so she could use the potty there. I tried to get her to go before we left the house, and as soon as we got there, but that was a no go. She also was not a fan of sitting on the big potty. On the way there to protect the car seat I put a puppy pad under her. Our dog never used them, so I finally found a use for them.
Finally before we left his house, she sat on the potty and went. Whew! So another success, she did finally go on the potty, she didn't pee her pants the whole time we were there, and she didn't pee in her car seat on the way or on the way home. First small outing (I count it as small since the ride was about 25 minutes each way, and it wasn't a HUGE deal if she wet her pants at his house, though we were there for several hours) went pretty well. Tomorrow she will go to her Nana's house, so she gets to deal with the potty training for a few hours, I need a break!
My brother needed me to come over today for something, and since we hadn't have any accidents yet today I figured it would be a good time to try a small outing. I took her potty ring with us so she could use the potty there. I tried to get her to go before we left the house, and as soon as we got there, but that was a no go. She also was not a fan of sitting on the big potty. On the way there to protect the car seat I put a puppy pad under her. Our dog never used them, so I finally found a use for them.
Finally before we left his house, she sat on the potty and went. Whew! So another success, she did finally go on the potty, she didn't pee her pants the whole time we were there, and she didn't pee in her car seat on the way or on the way home. First small outing (I count it as small since the ride was about 25 minutes each way, and it wasn't a HUGE deal if she wet her pants at his house, though we were there for several hours) went pretty well. Tomorrow she will go to her Nana's house, so she gets to deal with the potty training for a few hours, I need a break!
Wednesday, April 27, 2016
Potty training day 3, block 2
As I suspected, clothes mucked it up. Today did not start out well. I did all the explaining when she first got up, telling her we were taking off her nighty diaper because we pee and poop in the potty when we're awake, and that we were putting clothes on today and she would need to pull her pants down to use the potty.
The first attempt right after she got up, she sat on the potty with her pants still on. I told her no, she needs to pull her pants down first. Nothing happened for the first couple hours, then suddenly she got a weird look on her face, and I saw pee trickling out of her pant leg. There goes the first pair of pants. So I calmly told her, you peed in your pants, the next time you need to pee in the potty. I did try to get her over to the potty, but by then it was all on her pants or the carpet and none was left for the pot.
I gave her some more liquids, and an hour or two later I left the room to go get her lunch. When I came back, her pants were wet. Pair number two, bites the dust. So she had lunch, and went down for a nap. She again pooped during her nap. I think if she hasn't pooped in the potty by Friday I will research what to do. I know it's very normal, I can remember when my niece was potty training my SIL was like omg this child is never going to poop in the potty. But if I can do something to shorten that time, I will.
Once she was up, I had her practice pulling her pants down and sitting on the potty, and pulling them back up. She did ok, but of course has some trouble getting them down and back on. I guess we won't be wearing jeans for a while until she gets this down. I had to take the cat to the vet so I tried to get her to go before I left, since I was afraid if she peed her pants while I was gone, I would come home to find my husband had put her in a diaper. But she wouldn't go. I was gone about an hour but he said she hadn't gone while I was out.
So he and I both kept prompting her to use the potty. Finally she listened, but she took her pants all the way off and ran around for a few minutes naked from the waist down. Then she went and sat on the potty and peed. So I am not sure if that counts, since technically she was naked when she did it, so that's kind of retreating back to block one territory. I want her to realize that just because she has something on her bottom, doesn't mean she can pee in them. When I first read that she had to be commando for a few weeks because underwear still feels too much like a diaper at first, I was surprised. I was like come on, underwear is thin, it must feel like nothing compared to years in a bulky diaper. But I see that even having pants on and going commando is enough to make them feel like they can just go as if it's a diaper.
So we had dinner, then watched TV for a bit, cleaned up our toys and then I wanted her to try to potty one last time before bed. It's funny how kids are all different, and things that the experts say doesn't always hold true with all kids. When I was in school for early childhood and working at a daycare, all I ever heard was, never ask a child if they will do something, tell them to do it. Never end your sentence with ok, because if they so no you have no where to go from there. When I became a mom I heard it all again, never ask if your child wants to do something that you want them to do. But typically that is the only way my kid responds in a positive way.
If I flat out tell her to do something, or say, we're going to try to go potty now, she either ignores me, or she says no. But when I say, we're going to try going potty now, ok? She says ok, and then does it. So before bed I told her several times to pull down her pants and try to potty again, but she would say no, or run around and climb on the furniture, or walk around all weird with her head cocked to the side. Finally when I said, it's time to pull down your pants and go potty, ok?....she happily said ok, and did it. So she peed four times today not including in her diaper. Two of the times were a bust, once was sort of a success, and once was a success.
This morning I was not feeling too optimistic, but I am thinking today went pretty good after all. It went much like day one of block one went. She went in her pants/on the floor a couple times, and then eventually realized what she is supposed to do. So hopefully tomorrow she will follow suite and continue doing well and not go in her pants, and by Friday she should be a pro....or at least getting much better, I hope. We'll stay in block two for a while, just doing small trips here and there. Except Sunday will be a longer trip to go to the flea market, but I will cut down liquids in the morning and take lots of potty breaks to compensate.
She woke me up twice last night, once around 2 and again around 4. That's so unlike her. I am thinking it has something to do with potty training. Maybe just the fact that we are going through something new has her sleep a little off, or maybe when she peed in her diaper in her sleep it woke her up because she is now of the mindset that she should be going in the potty. So she was asking for everything under the sun. She wanted guppies (Bubble Guppies), Callie (Sheriff Callie), eat, milk, and outside. The milk I could do, so I got her some in a cup and gave her a few sips with the straw. I rocked her for a little bit and read her a story, and then tucked her back in.
Amazingly the last few nights I have actually been ready to go to sleep when I go to bed, I've fallen asleep pretty quickly and I wake up feeling mostly refreshed. I haven't been napping lately, and I am making an effort to take all of my medications each day and at the right times. I would imagine taking them at odd hours and skipping pills and such could make you feel really tired and sluggish. I've been doing well with my metformin, taking one in the morning and one in the evening and not skipping doses. I cannot be sure because I am not temping or using OPKs, but I was pretty sure I felt ovulation pain on CD14 and again on day 16. That would be great if I did and my cycle is regulating since I have been taking the metformin more regularly. And CD14-16 is damn near textbook for Oing. We'll see in two weeks if I was right. We are not TTC, still undecided, but it would be nice to know when I O so I can know when to expect my period.
When she woke me up at 4 I was so tired. I had no clue what she wanted this time, so I thought maybe changing the disc in her projector would make her happy. It's a new projector, her old one crapped out (it was our second one, both died the same way) so we just got a new one, and she hadn't seen what is on the other two discs, so I put the fish one in. She was all excited, she kept pointing and saying fish. So I told her to lay down so she could watch the fish. She did, and I covered her with a blanket and said goodnight. Hopefully she doesn't get me up at all tonight. It's not unheard of for her to wake me up in the middle of the night every once in a while, like maybe once every three months. But twice in one night, what are you, a newborn? If I have to deal with the terrible two's and potty training, at least let me enjoy my sleep and being out of the "up multiple times a night" newborn stage.
In other news, I got a job! It's part time, roughly ten hours for now (could increase in time, but maybe not) and it's work from home. I will be doing medical billing. I am so excited. I was on the fence about getting a job. I miss the satisfaction working gave me, I missed the importance I felt and responsibility working gave me, and of course some extra income is always nice. But I hated the idea of leaving Em, even for part time, and I had no clue how I was going to juggle house work, taking care of Em, and working outside the home. But this is the best of both worlds. I can feel productive, I can still be home with Em, and I can bring in some income.
I start next Wednesday, I have to go to the boss's house for training. A part of me is like ugh, I only have a week left and then I have to actually go to work for the first time in almost two years. But then I remind myself that it's JUST for training. If I had gotten any other job, I would have to go to the job however many hours a week. Training could take a couple months to get in everything we have to go over, but I am certain I won't be going 40 hours a week to train. Hopefully just 2 or 3 days a week and not for the entire day. But even that, once it's done, it will all be from home and I won't have to go anywhere. Maybe once in a blue moon for a meeting or something, but that's it. I'm excited. I knew I missed having a job when I got excited to say, I have to drop Em off next week so I can go to work....or when I think about adding it to my resume, or having a company email. I don't miss working 40 hours, but I think this will be really good for me. Plus, how freaking lucky am I to have found a legit work from home job, AND be offered the job?
This is exactly what I have been looking for. It took longer than I had planned, I said I was going to give myself a year off with Em, and then I would have to go back to work if nothing worked out. I had been off for a year last July, and I didn't start applying for jobs until August or September, and here I am 3 months from hitting the two year mark, but thankfully I got this and it was worth the wait. The logistics of the job are perfect, and I think I will really enjoy the work too. Since Em goes to her Nana's every Wednesday, I can get in at least four hours of work then. Then I could just do an hour at nap and/or an hour once she goes to bed most days. That's totally doable. They also stressed that I should not answer emails when I am not "working". So if I don't plan on working until 2pm-3pm that day, I shouldn't answer any emails until that time period. That is nice to know, because I tend to get anxious and worry people are wondering what is taking so long for a reply if I don't answer right away. At my old job, I would deal with emails as they came in, even if I was in the middle of something else. This often was counter-productive because it broke my concentration of what I was working on. I should have set two to three time periods through out the day to check and answer emails.
The two women I interviewed with were very nice and easy to talk to. The one that did most of the talking at the interview is the one I will be training with at her house, so I am glad I have already met her and clicked well with her. I am not really nervous about training and learning the job. Hopefully I don't have to go train every Wednesday though or I will miss my diabetes class. I missed today because of Em's potty training, and I have to miss next week for job training. Hopefully we can work it out so that I either don't train on Wednesdays, or maybe we start earlier so I can be done in time for class, or start later in the day after class.
Fingers crossed that Em continues to do well tomorrow!
The first attempt right after she got up, she sat on the potty with her pants still on. I told her no, she needs to pull her pants down first. Nothing happened for the first couple hours, then suddenly she got a weird look on her face, and I saw pee trickling out of her pant leg. There goes the first pair of pants. So I calmly told her, you peed in your pants, the next time you need to pee in the potty. I did try to get her over to the potty, but by then it was all on her pants or the carpet and none was left for the pot.
I gave her some more liquids, and an hour or two later I left the room to go get her lunch. When I came back, her pants were wet. Pair number two, bites the dust. So she had lunch, and went down for a nap. She again pooped during her nap. I think if she hasn't pooped in the potty by Friday I will research what to do. I know it's very normal, I can remember when my niece was potty training my SIL was like omg this child is never going to poop in the potty. But if I can do something to shorten that time, I will.
Once she was up, I had her practice pulling her pants down and sitting on the potty, and pulling them back up. She did ok, but of course has some trouble getting them down and back on. I guess we won't be wearing jeans for a while until she gets this down. I had to take the cat to the vet so I tried to get her to go before I left, since I was afraid if she peed her pants while I was gone, I would come home to find my husband had put her in a diaper. But she wouldn't go. I was gone about an hour but he said she hadn't gone while I was out.
So he and I both kept prompting her to use the potty. Finally she listened, but she took her pants all the way off and ran around for a few minutes naked from the waist down. Then she went and sat on the potty and peed. So I am not sure if that counts, since technically she was naked when she did it, so that's kind of retreating back to block one territory. I want her to realize that just because she has something on her bottom, doesn't mean she can pee in them. When I first read that she had to be commando for a few weeks because underwear still feels too much like a diaper at first, I was surprised. I was like come on, underwear is thin, it must feel like nothing compared to years in a bulky diaper. But I see that even having pants on and going commando is enough to make them feel like they can just go as if it's a diaper.
So we had dinner, then watched TV for a bit, cleaned up our toys and then I wanted her to try to potty one last time before bed. It's funny how kids are all different, and things that the experts say doesn't always hold true with all kids. When I was in school for early childhood and working at a daycare, all I ever heard was, never ask a child if they will do something, tell them to do it. Never end your sentence with ok, because if they so no you have no where to go from there. When I became a mom I heard it all again, never ask if your child wants to do something that you want them to do. But typically that is the only way my kid responds in a positive way.
If I flat out tell her to do something, or say, we're going to try to go potty now, she either ignores me, or she says no. But when I say, we're going to try going potty now, ok? She says ok, and then does it. So before bed I told her several times to pull down her pants and try to potty again, but she would say no, or run around and climb on the furniture, or walk around all weird with her head cocked to the side. Finally when I said, it's time to pull down your pants and go potty, ok?....she happily said ok, and did it. So she peed four times today not including in her diaper. Two of the times were a bust, once was sort of a success, and once was a success.
This morning I was not feeling too optimistic, but I am thinking today went pretty good after all. It went much like day one of block one went. She went in her pants/on the floor a couple times, and then eventually realized what she is supposed to do. So hopefully tomorrow she will follow suite and continue doing well and not go in her pants, and by Friday she should be a pro....or at least getting much better, I hope. We'll stay in block two for a while, just doing small trips here and there. Except Sunday will be a longer trip to go to the flea market, but I will cut down liquids in the morning and take lots of potty breaks to compensate.
She woke me up twice last night, once around 2 and again around 4. That's so unlike her. I am thinking it has something to do with potty training. Maybe just the fact that we are going through something new has her sleep a little off, or maybe when she peed in her diaper in her sleep it woke her up because she is now of the mindset that she should be going in the potty. So she was asking for everything under the sun. She wanted guppies (Bubble Guppies), Callie (Sheriff Callie), eat, milk, and outside. The milk I could do, so I got her some in a cup and gave her a few sips with the straw. I rocked her for a little bit and read her a story, and then tucked her back in.
Amazingly the last few nights I have actually been ready to go to sleep when I go to bed, I've fallen asleep pretty quickly and I wake up feeling mostly refreshed. I haven't been napping lately, and I am making an effort to take all of my medications each day and at the right times. I would imagine taking them at odd hours and skipping pills and such could make you feel really tired and sluggish. I've been doing well with my metformin, taking one in the morning and one in the evening and not skipping doses. I cannot be sure because I am not temping or using OPKs, but I was pretty sure I felt ovulation pain on CD14 and again on day 16. That would be great if I did and my cycle is regulating since I have been taking the metformin more regularly. And CD14-16 is damn near textbook for Oing. We'll see in two weeks if I was right. We are not TTC, still undecided, but it would be nice to know when I O so I can know when to expect my period.
When she woke me up at 4 I was so tired. I had no clue what she wanted this time, so I thought maybe changing the disc in her projector would make her happy. It's a new projector, her old one crapped out (it was our second one, both died the same way) so we just got a new one, and she hadn't seen what is on the other two discs, so I put the fish one in. She was all excited, she kept pointing and saying fish. So I told her to lay down so she could watch the fish. She did, and I covered her with a blanket and said goodnight. Hopefully she doesn't get me up at all tonight. It's not unheard of for her to wake me up in the middle of the night every once in a while, like maybe once every three months. But twice in one night, what are you, a newborn? If I have to deal with the terrible two's and potty training, at least let me enjoy my sleep and being out of the "up multiple times a night" newborn stage.
In other news, I got a job! It's part time, roughly ten hours for now (could increase in time, but maybe not) and it's work from home. I will be doing medical billing. I am so excited. I was on the fence about getting a job. I miss the satisfaction working gave me, I missed the importance I felt and responsibility working gave me, and of course some extra income is always nice. But I hated the idea of leaving Em, even for part time, and I had no clue how I was going to juggle house work, taking care of Em, and working outside the home. But this is the best of both worlds. I can feel productive, I can still be home with Em, and I can bring in some income.
I start next Wednesday, I have to go to the boss's house for training. A part of me is like ugh, I only have a week left and then I have to actually go to work for the first time in almost two years. But then I remind myself that it's JUST for training. If I had gotten any other job, I would have to go to the job however many hours a week. Training could take a couple months to get in everything we have to go over, but I am certain I won't be going 40 hours a week to train. Hopefully just 2 or 3 days a week and not for the entire day. But even that, once it's done, it will all be from home and I won't have to go anywhere. Maybe once in a blue moon for a meeting or something, but that's it. I'm excited. I knew I missed having a job when I got excited to say, I have to drop Em off next week so I can go to work....or when I think about adding it to my resume, or having a company email. I don't miss working 40 hours, but I think this will be really good for me. Plus, how freaking lucky am I to have found a legit work from home job, AND be offered the job?
This is exactly what I have been looking for. It took longer than I had planned, I said I was going to give myself a year off with Em, and then I would have to go back to work if nothing worked out. I had been off for a year last July, and I didn't start applying for jobs until August or September, and here I am 3 months from hitting the two year mark, but thankfully I got this and it was worth the wait. The logistics of the job are perfect, and I think I will really enjoy the work too. Since Em goes to her Nana's every Wednesday, I can get in at least four hours of work then. Then I could just do an hour at nap and/or an hour once she goes to bed most days. That's totally doable. They also stressed that I should not answer emails when I am not "working". So if I don't plan on working until 2pm-3pm that day, I shouldn't answer any emails until that time period. That is nice to know, because I tend to get anxious and worry people are wondering what is taking so long for a reply if I don't answer right away. At my old job, I would deal with emails as they came in, even if I was in the middle of something else. This often was counter-productive because it broke my concentration of what I was working on. I should have set two to three time periods through out the day to check and answer emails.
The two women I interviewed with were very nice and easy to talk to. The one that did most of the talking at the interview is the one I will be training with at her house, so I am glad I have already met her and clicked well with her. I am not really nervous about training and learning the job. Hopefully I don't have to go train every Wednesday though or I will miss my diabetes class. I missed today because of Em's potty training, and I have to miss next week for job training. Hopefully we can work it out so that I either don't train on Wednesdays, or maybe we start earlier so I can be done in time for class, or start later in the day after class.
Fingers crossed that Em continues to do well tomorrow!
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
Potty training, day 2, block 1
I don't know if my kid is amazing, or if that book is amazing, or both. I kept Em in block one today just because I wasn't certain she was giving off signs that she's about to go, or maybe I wasn't catching them, but I think it's safe to say she has graduated to block 2. She did every pee pee (except during nap with her diaper on) in the potty.
I try to get her to go when she first gets up, but I have no clue how long ago she went in her diaper, so I'm not too concerned when she doesn't go right away. But it was going on 11am and she still hadn't gone. I tried prompting her, asking if she had to go and she would always say no, or I'd ask her to sit on the potty and try. Sometimes she would, but she didn't have to go. Then around noon, just like yesterday, with no word or sign, she just went and sat on the potty and peed. She did the same about 4 or 5 more times through out the day.
She did poop again in her diaper during her nap, so if that continues many more days I will have to consult the book and find out how to encourage her to do it in the potty. I am not sure if she is holding it for nap, or if she just naturally tends to poo during nap while she's relaxed. I would say the latter since even before PTing, she quite often woke up with a poopy diaper. It was nice to not have to watch her like a hawk today since by the second or third time I was convinced she knows when she has to go.
Tomorrow we get to graduate to clothes. I'm excited and scared. I'm excited because I don't care for her running around naked. I don't mind it for PTing sake, but to me it just seems undesirable to be naked all day. I am sure she does not care, but I'll be happy to put clothes on her tomorrow. But I am scared because she has been doing so well, I am afraid clothes will muck it up. She normally goes to her Nana's on Wednesdays but I am keeping her home. With starting a new block tomorrow, it's probably best to be at home and not change her routine. I am sure she isn't aware tomorrow is Wednesday. My MIL has Friday afternoons off, so maybe if Em is doing well by then I can send her for a little while. It will be nice to get a break, being with her and mostly watching her for 12 hours a day is tiring.
Sunday were going to a big flea market. I don't want to cancel, but when I made the plans I wasn't aware that it would only be day 7 of PTing. By block two you can start taking small trips out, but shopping for a few hours at a flea market 40 minutes away is probably not considered a quick outing. But by then we should have a few quick trips under our belts, and I will just make sure to limit her liquids for the morning, bring lots of extra clothes and take her to the potty frequently. It's at a racetrack, so they aren't the cleanest of bathrooms, so I had better take her potty ring just to be safe. Especially since I doubt she will have had the chance to pee in a public bathroom before then. The potty ring will probably make her feel more secure.
If the rest of the blocks go as well as one did, I think that is proof I shouldn't have another kid. She has been so easy with most things, she is a good kid and she is so sweet....if potty training turns out to be simple, there is NO way I could be lucky enough to get another good baby, and PTing would probably take a year with that one.
We were watching Frozen today (of course, because we watch it like 1-2 times a day lately) and Olaf had just gotten done singing his song about summer. Em was sitting on my lap, she threw her head back and sang, suuuummmmmer! It was the funniest thing. Then tonight I was tucking her in and she wanted one of her small stuffed animals off the chain that's hanging behind her door. I didn't know what she was asking for, so I kept saying this one? This one? Then she says elephant, in the cute way she says it. So I gave it to her, she was snuggling it and hugging it with her head down. Then she looked up and made her elephant noise really loudly. She just cracks me up. Earlier she insisted on putting her Minnie Mouse boots on....so she was strutting her stuff around the room naked, and wearing boots.
I try to get her to go when she first gets up, but I have no clue how long ago she went in her diaper, so I'm not too concerned when she doesn't go right away. But it was going on 11am and she still hadn't gone. I tried prompting her, asking if she had to go and she would always say no, or I'd ask her to sit on the potty and try. Sometimes she would, but she didn't have to go. Then around noon, just like yesterday, with no word or sign, she just went and sat on the potty and peed. She did the same about 4 or 5 more times through out the day.
She did poop again in her diaper during her nap, so if that continues many more days I will have to consult the book and find out how to encourage her to do it in the potty. I am not sure if she is holding it for nap, or if she just naturally tends to poo during nap while she's relaxed. I would say the latter since even before PTing, she quite often woke up with a poopy diaper. It was nice to not have to watch her like a hawk today since by the second or third time I was convinced she knows when she has to go.
Tomorrow we get to graduate to clothes. I'm excited and scared. I'm excited because I don't care for her running around naked. I don't mind it for PTing sake, but to me it just seems undesirable to be naked all day. I am sure she does not care, but I'll be happy to put clothes on her tomorrow. But I am scared because she has been doing so well, I am afraid clothes will muck it up. She normally goes to her Nana's on Wednesdays but I am keeping her home. With starting a new block tomorrow, it's probably best to be at home and not change her routine. I am sure she isn't aware tomorrow is Wednesday. My MIL has Friday afternoons off, so maybe if Em is doing well by then I can send her for a little while. It will be nice to get a break, being with her and mostly watching her for 12 hours a day is tiring.
Sunday were going to a big flea market. I don't want to cancel, but when I made the plans I wasn't aware that it would only be day 7 of PTing. By block two you can start taking small trips out, but shopping for a few hours at a flea market 40 minutes away is probably not considered a quick outing. But by then we should have a few quick trips under our belts, and I will just make sure to limit her liquids for the morning, bring lots of extra clothes and take her to the potty frequently. It's at a racetrack, so they aren't the cleanest of bathrooms, so I had better take her potty ring just to be safe. Especially since I doubt she will have had the chance to pee in a public bathroom before then. The potty ring will probably make her feel more secure.
If the rest of the blocks go as well as one did, I think that is proof I shouldn't have another kid. She has been so easy with most things, she is a good kid and she is so sweet....if potty training turns out to be simple, there is NO way I could be lucky enough to get another good baby, and PTing would probably take a year with that one.
We were watching Frozen today (of course, because we watch it like 1-2 times a day lately) and Olaf had just gotten done singing his song about summer. Em was sitting on my lap, she threw her head back and sang, suuuummmmmer! It was the funniest thing. Then tonight I was tucking her in and she wanted one of her small stuffed animals off the chain that's hanging behind her door. I didn't know what she was asking for, so I kept saying this one? This one? Then she says elephant, in the cute way she says it. So I gave it to her, she was snuggling it and hugging it with her head down. Then she looked up and made her elephant noise really loudly. She just cracks me up. Earlier she insisted on putting her Minnie Mouse boots on....so she was strutting her stuff around the room naked, and wearing boots.
Monday, April 25, 2016
Potty training, day 1
So today was Em's first official day of potty training....again. I attempted about a month ago, but it didn't go so well so I decided to break down and read a book about it. So I got Oh Crap, Potty Training. That title pretty much sums it up. Actually today wasn't so bad. I explained the blocks (stages) in my April 2nd entry, so I won't repeat myself there. So she is in block one...even though it goes by readiness, not number of days, the author says typically block one lasts from about 1-3 days I think.
I could maybe move her to block 2 tomorrow, but I don't think it will hurt to have an extra day of block one. So when I first woke up I realized my husband had gotten her up and dressed without knowing she was to be naked today, so I had to make a big production out of taking her jammies and diaper back off. The original plan was to stay in the kitchen for a few days so pee could be easily wiped up, but a few things derailed that plan. 1) I have been busy and lazy lately, so the kitchen floor is not mopped and there is a decent amount of dog hair. 2) the living room is not clean and picked up either, so being in the kitchen would mean the dog is in the living room, having a field day chewing up toys, shoes, remotes, and whatever else she can get her mouth on. 3) I wasn't sure what to do in the kitchen. Yeah she's a toddler, she can find stuff to entertain her, but most the switch was due to 4), the kitchen is not comfortable.
I would either have to sit on the cold hard tile floor, or one of the hard kitchen chairs. No thanks. I figured hell, our puppy peed all over our living room carpet when she was training, why not let the kid? I borrowed my stepmom's carpet cleaner, so once she is reasonably trained I'll have to shampoo the carpet. But that leads me to this thought....I thought we would NEVER get our puppy house trained. We got her in May, and she wasn't 100% trained until October. And I am not even really sure when it happened, it's like one day she just got it, and has never had an accident since. She does really really well, especially for only being 13 months old.
We've recently stopped putting her in her cage at night since she has more room in the kitchen and a comfy bed, and she typically won't go out to potty once it's too late, so most nights she goes from 10pm till 8am or even a little later. On the rare occasion we all sleep in till like 9 or 9:30, I go out to the kitchen cringing, expecting to find a puddle or pile but nope. We must have gotten a part dog, part camel breed. So I guess I shouldn't be too intimidated to train Em, since I did eventually get the dog trained, and at least Em can sometimes understand what I am saying to her. It's too bad though that we can't use the "don't crap where you eat" method on kids.
Anyway, back to the kid. So I was supposed to watch her all day....like do nothing else but watch her. I am unsure of how serious the author was being. Ok, I get that you shouldn't go put in a load of laundry, or re-tile the bathroom during this time period....but I found it very difficult to just sit there and keep my eyes on her all day. Yes I did play with her, and we did do things....but I think it's just human nature for your attention to wander a little. But I still think I did ok. So her first pee came with virtually no warming, and she peed while standing on top of a box that needs to be shipped out. Oops.
I tried to grab her as fast as I could and get her on the pot, but I don't think she had much pee left and only got a few drops in the toilet. After that I let my guard down. She is normally a camel, she'll hold her pee for hours, then whoosh, flood the diaper all at once. But I am not used to her peeing habits when she has had extra liquids like today. So I wasn't really paying much attention when about 20 minutes later she peed again. This time I was a little quicker about getting her on the pot, so more pee went in the potty. She was begging me to take her outside to play, it was really killing me. it was such a nice day too, but it wasn't warm enough for her to run around naked outside.
A few blocks away someone was tossing a little playhouse, and was offering it for free. Of course the one time we want to haul something, our truck is in the shop. We tried to get it in the back of the SUV but it wouldn't fit. My dad is never one to pass up a good garbage pick, especially for his little princess, but I felt bad asking him to come since he lives like 20 minutes away, and there was no way to guarantee it would still be there. But a good garbage pick, plus coming to play with Em for a bit was apparently enough to persuade him. I was able to go outside and see down the street that it was still there when he was ready to come over, and 20 minutes later we had a new playhouse, yay! And of course it's the one day she cannot go outside to play in it.
So after Baba left, Em was sitting on my lap and we were playing something and she says pee pee. I said, you have to go pee pee? So I put her on the pot, and she sat for a minute or two....I gave her a book to read (which btw makes for an adorable picture) and then I hear the glorious sound of pee going in the potty. Yay, she pretty much told me she had to go, and got it all in the pot. A short while later I put her down for a nap and explained as best I could that she was getting a diapy back on because she is still learning, and cannot control her pee pee in her sleep. Of course she pooped in her diaper during her nap, but that is to be expected....for now.
So I wasn't sure how long it had been since she peed, so I prompted her quite a bit once she woke up to try peeing, but she either refused, or just wouldn't go when sitting on the potty. About ten minutes later, she peed on the floor. I think I got some in the potty. So then a few more hours went by with no pee at all. I tried to get her to keep drinking but she discovered for the first time that you can blow into the straw instead of sucking, to blow bubbles in the milk. So that was great fun, but annoying to me because she was making a mess, and not drinking so she would have to potty.
Finally when I was feeding her dinner before bed, she was standing in front of me, got a bite of mac and cheese, and without a word, turned around, walked over to and sat on the potty and peed. I was like holy shit! I was so excited and proud of her. So I definitely feel pretty good about today. I would say that is progress for sure. They say you can move on to block two once you can get her to the potty in time or she goes to the potty on her own....but I just want one more day to see if she has retained the knowledge of knowing when she needs to go.
Plus, despite things going well, I don't feel I really got a handle on recognizing her signs. Maybe I wasn't always paying enough attention, but for the most part she seemed to just start peeing with no warning. I mean yeah sometimes she would squat, or cross her legs, or grab herself, but mostly this happened periodically through out the day with no connection to her actually going. So if she indeed does not give off any signs, I really hope she is one of those miracle children that just knows very quickly when she has to go and just does it, or can tell me. Here's hoping tomorrow goes as well or even better.
I could maybe move her to block 2 tomorrow, but I don't think it will hurt to have an extra day of block one. So when I first woke up I realized my husband had gotten her up and dressed without knowing she was to be naked today, so I had to make a big production out of taking her jammies and diaper back off. The original plan was to stay in the kitchen for a few days so pee could be easily wiped up, but a few things derailed that plan. 1) I have been busy and lazy lately, so the kitchen floor is not mopped and there is a decent amount of dog hair. 2) the living room is not clean and picked up either, so being in the kitchen would mean the dog is in the living room, having a field day chewing up toys, shoes, remotes, and whatever else she can get her mouth on. 3) I wasn't sure what to do in the kitchen. Yeah she's a toddler, she can find stuff to entertain her, but most the switch was due to 4), the kitchen is not comfortable.
I would either have to sit on the cold hard tile floor, or one of the hard kitchen chairs. No thanks. I figured hell, our puppy peed all over our living room carpet when she was training, why not let the kid? I borrowed my stepmom's carpet cleaner, so once she is reasonably trained I'll have to shampoo the carpet. But that leads me to this thought....I thought we would NEVER get our puppy house trained. We got her in May, and she wasn't 100% trained until October. And I am not even really sure when it happened, it's like one day she just got it, and has never had an accident since. She does really really well, especially for only being 13 months old.
We've recently stopped putting her in her cage at night since she has more room in the kitchen and a comfy bed, and she typically won't go out to potty once it's too late, so most nights she goes from 10pm till 8am or even a little later. On the rare occasion we all sleep in till like 9 or 9:30, I go out to the kitchen cringing, expecting to find a puddle or pile but nope. We must have gotten a part dog, part camel breed. So I guess I shouldn't be too intimidated to train Em, since I did eventually get the dog trained, and at least Em can sometimes understand what I am saying to her. It's too bad though that we can't use the "don't crap where you eat" method on kids.
Anyway, back to the kid. So I was supposed to watch her all day....like do nothing else but watch her. I am unsure of how serious the author was being. Ok, I get that you shouldn't go put in a load of laundry, or re-tile the bathroom during this time period....but I found it very difficult to just sit there and keep my eyes on her all day. Yes I did play with her, and we did do things....but I think it's just human nature for your attention to wander a little. But I still think I did ok. So her first pee came with virtually no warming, and she peed while standing on top of a box that needs to be shipped out. Oops.
I tried to grab her as fast as I could and get her on the pot, but I don't think she had much pee left and only got a few drops in the toilet. After that I let my guard down. She is normally a camel, she'll hold her pee for hours, then whoosh, flood the diaper all at once. But I am not used to her peeing habits when she has had extra liquids like today. So I wasn't really paying much attention when about 20 minutes later she peed again. This time I was a little quicker about getting her on the pot, so more pee went in the potty. She was begging me to take her outside to play, it was really killing me. it was such a nice day too, but it wasn't warm enough for her to run around naked outside.
A few blocks away someone was tossing a little playhouse, and was offering it for free. Of course the one time we want to haul something, our truck is in the shop. We tried to get it in the back of the SUV but it wouldn't fit. My dad is never one to pass up a good garbage pick, especially for his little princess, but I felt bad asking him to come since he lives like 20 minutes away, and there was no way to guarantee it would still be there. But a good garbage pick, plus coming to play with Em for a bit was apparently enough to persuade him. I was able to go outside and see down the street that it was still there when he was ready to come over, and 20 minutes later we had a new playhouse, yay! And of course it's the one day she cannot go outside to play in it.
So after Baba left, Em was sitting on my lap and we were playing something and she says pee pee. I said, you have to go pee pee? So I put her on the pot, and she sat for a minute or two....I gave her a book to read (which btw makes for an adorable picture) and then I hear the glorious sound of pee going in the potty. Yay, she pretty much told me she had to go, and got it all in the pot. A short while later I put her down for a nap and explained as best I could that she was getting a diapy back on because she is still learning, and cannot control her pee pee in her sleep. Of course she pooped in her diaper during her nap, but that is to be expected....for now.
So I wasn't sure how long it had been since she peed, so I prompted her quite a bit once she woke up to try peeing, but she either refused, or just wouldn't go when sitting on the potty. About ten minutes later, she peed on the floor. I think I got some in the potty. So then a few more hours went by with no pee at all. I tried to get her to keep drinking but she discovered for the first time that you can blow into the straw instead of sucking, to blow bubbles in the milk. So that was great fun, but annoying to me because she was making a mess, and not drinking so she would have to potty.
Finally when I was feeding her dinner before bed, she was standing in front of me, got a bite of mac and cheese, and without a word, turned around, walked over to and sat on the potty and peed. I was like holy shit! I was so excited and proud of her. So I definitely feel pretty good about today. I would say that is progress for sure. They say you can move on to block two once you can get her to the potty in time or she goes to the potty on her own....but I just want one more day to see if she has retained the knowledge of knowing when she needs to go.
Plus, despite things going well, I don't feel I really got a handle on recognizing her signs. Maybe I wasn't always paying enough attention, but for the most part she seemed to just start peeing with no warning. I mean yeah sometimes she would squat, or cross her legs, or grab herself, but mostly this happened periodically through out the day with no connection to her actually going. So if she indeed does not give off any signs, I really hope she is one of those miracle children that just knows very quickly when she has to go and just does it, or can tell me. Here's hoping tomorrow goes as well or even better.
Saturday, April 16, 2016
The village opening day
We had a great time at the village yesterday for opening day. We didn't make it to the museum at all this winter except to see Santa, but we have all been dying for spring to get here, and mother nature decided to give us beautiful weather yesterday for the first day of the outdoor season at the village.
I think it was about 73 and sunny. My idea of perfect weather. So Emily and I met my SIL at around 10am. First we walked by the field where they were harrowing the field with the two work horses. Em loves horses so we had to stop and see them. I think she is always in awe of how big real horses are, but then these two guys were even bigger. Then we headed to the barn to see if any baby lambs had been born yet. There were about 6 sheep in the "labor and delivery" pen, and one mama sheep in the mother/baby pen with her two brand new babies. They were only two days old. Em had a good time looking at them, and chasing the chickens around outside.
Then we walked over to the roundhouse to see her other favorite, trains. We talked to the guy that works there for a bit, and then got a closer look at the train cars that were in there. It's funny because as many times as I have been there in my life, I have never been in the roundhouse. Next month they are having their annual Thomas the Train event where they put a Thomas facade on the regular train. I decided not to take her though because she doesn't watch Thomas, and it's an extra charge over and above our membership. But the other day I told her we were going to see the choo choo train tomorrow and she excitedly said Thomas! Crap, she does know who he is. Oh well, maybe next year when she'll get a little more out of it.
So then we walked around for a bit...even if you don't do much, it's fun to just walk around, get some exercise and fresh air. Then we headed to the carousel. We had to walk past it to go get our all-day pass bracelets and Em was tugging on my hand to go ride. Poor thing couldn't even wait for us to get a ticket. So first we chose a stationary one. All of the stationary horses got grabbed up so we had to ride the sea monster, but I don't think she cared. She was all smiled before the ride started, but then during the ride she was so serious, taking it all in.
After that we decided to take a break for lunch so we went to the cafeteria. Em actually ate fairly decent, each day it's a crapshoot if she will eat more than a few bites. Once we rested and ate, we went to play on the playground. I was most excited for this because the last time we were there last summer she couldn't walk yet, but now, the playground was her oyster. She mostly held my hand though, not quite comfortable enough to take off and play, though that's not a bad thing. There was this giant tunnel the kids could walk through, but she wouldn't go by herself, so my SIL took her through twice. Then we tried to get her to go on her own. She was a little hesitant, but she started to. This little girl who looked about 3 or 4 was talking to me, telling me what all she had done, and then she was like here, I'll help you and she grabbed Em's hand and they walked through together ,<3 There is nothing that warms my heart more than seeing kids helping other kids.
So then we went on this new modern teter-todder type thing, and once Em got on a few other kids joined. Some of them were bigger kids so they could put a little more effort into bouncing it. She had a great time on that. Then she wanted to go through the tunnel again. She got about a quarter of the way through when she hesitated because there were other kids hanging out inside the tunnel. One of them a little blonde boy about her age. He held out his hand and said come come, and he walked her through. I ran to the other end to see them coming. The two of them, both blonde and the same height, walking through the tunnel hand in hand was almost more than my heart could take. It was so cute!
The playground is on the other side of the fence from the carousel, and since Em tried climbing out of the SIL's arms and over the fence, we decided another ride on the carousel was in order. So this time we took her on an animal that also moved up and down, but we couldn't get a horse this time either, so she rode a chicken. She seemed to like it. After the ride we went to get custard. They have THE best custard I've ever had. Anytime I got talking and didn't give Em a bite, she'd yell mommy, mommy! Then we walked over to one of the train stations. We had a 20 minute wait for the next train, so we sat on a bench. Then a woman and her son came over and asked if we would like to play bubbles while we waited. Well, bubbles just so happens to be Em's favorite thing in the whole world (aside from cats, horses, trains, etc), so her and the little boy ran around chasing the bubbles. In a world where you're always encountering rude people, it was so refreshing to be surrounded by so many happy, friendly people.
After the train ride we decided to call it a day. I had promised to drop Em off at my dad's for a while that afternoon and he was getting antsy. He asked, since it was so late in the day, could they have her overnight. I called my husband and he said that was fine, so I took her over there. I stayed long enough to chat for a while, and then take a short walk with them, My dad had one of those radio flier wagons from when we were kids, so he made her a little seat so she wouldn't fall out of it so we took her out for her maiden voyage in the wagon. She loved it, every time I looked at her she was smiling from ear to ear.
They were getting ready to give her a bath when I was leaving. I asked her for a hug and kiss and tried to make sure she knew she was staying the night and I wasn't coming back for her that day but she was so excited for her bath, she wanted nothing to do with me. So I took her to get her clothes off while her bath was running and got a hug from her then. She so loves spending time with her Baba and Grammy. When I got home my husband was sleeping, so I sat in the chair to watch TV and my cat climbed on my lap, so I closed my eyes for a bit, but my rumbling tummy overrode my desire to sleep, so I ordered a pizza. So it was a nice night, we had pizza, watched some TV, I had a vodka and cranberry so I could take advantage of being childless for the night. Today I slept in until 10:30 when my dad called to see when I wanted her brought home. I told him whenever, but to call before he came, so I went back to sleep until 1! It was nice, but I don't know how I used to sleep till 1 and 2 before I was married and had kids. The whole day is gone before you know it, and my back really hurt, lol.
My dad dropped her off around two. She took the dreaded car nap, so she wouldn't sleep at all once she was home. No nap yesterday and no nap today. Yikes. All afternoon while we were watching tv she would curl up on my lap and I thought she would go to sleep. At one point she was even stretching her arms out and running her fingers over my face. I love when she does that, her little hands are so soft. But no sleep. Around 6 I took her outside to play in the front yard while I took down our christmas lights...finally. Our neighbors are so nice. I had giant ball ornaments on our one tree, and over the last few months they must have fell off the tree and might have blown away, so my next door neighbor gathered them all and put them in a bag and left them against the side of the house. We don't really talk aside from saying hi when we see each other, that was so nice of her.
Then while we were still outside working, my neighbor across the street called me over and asked if we wanted some pizza. They got an extra one by mistake and said it would go to waste if we didn't take it, so I said sure. So I took Em over there to visit for a few. Sometimes I get a bug to move, but I really do love our house, and we have such great neighbors. I could really see us living here forever. Though many of our neighbors are older, so that's scary. Not only will we miss them when they pass, but in another 10-15 years our neighborhood could be totally different. But hopefully new great people would move in.
When we were done I took Em in to eat dinner, and her no-nap monster came out. I got her to eat a halo tangerine, a little milk, a few bites of rice and half a breakfast bar. Not great, but better than nothing. She was so cranky we didn't brush teeth or read stories, I just put her to bed. She was crying and screaming, but I had to just say goodnight and shut the door. Luckily it only lasted 5 minutes, and she was out like a light.
I think it was about 73 and sunny. My idea of perfect weather. So Emily and I met my SIL at around 10am. First we walked by the field where they were harrowing the field with the two work horses. Em loves horses so we had to stop and see them. I think she is always in awe of how big real horses are, but then these two guys were even bigger. Then we headed to the barn to see if any baby lambs had been born yet. There were about 6 sheep in the "labor and delivery" pen, and one mama sheep in the mother/baby pen with her two brand new babies. They were only two days old. Em had a good time looking at them, and chasing the chickens around outside.
Then we walked over to the roundhouse to see her other favorite, trains. We talked to the guy that works there for a bit, and then got a closer look at the train cars that were in there. It's funny because as many times as I have been there in my life, I have never been in the roundhouse. Next month they are having their annual Thomas the Train event where they put a Thomas facade on the regular train. I decided not to take her though because she doesn't watch Thomas, and it's an extra charge over and above our membership. But the other day I told her we were going to see the choo choo train tomorrow and she excitedly said Thomas! Crap, she does know who he is. Oh well, maybe next year when she'll get a little more out of it.
So then we walked around for a bit...even if you don't do much, it's fun to just walk around, get some exercise and fresh air. Then we headed to the carousel. We had to walk past it to go get our all-day pass bracelets and Em was tugging on my hand to go ride. Poor thing couldn't even wait for us to get a ticket. So first we chose a stationary one. All of the stationary horses got grabbed up so we had to ride the sea monster, but I don't think she cared. She was all smiled before the ride started, but then during the ride she was so serious, taking it all in.
After that we decided to take a break for lunch so we went to the cafeteria. Em actually ate fairly decent, each day it's a crapshoot if she will eat more than a few bites. Once we rested and ate, we went to play on the playground. I was most excited for this because the last time we were there last summer she couldn't walk yet, but now, the playground was her oyster. She mostly held my hand though, not quite comfortable enough to take off and play, though that's not a bad thing. There was this giant tunnel the kids could walk through, but she wouldn't go by herself, so my SIL took her through twice. Then we tried to get her to go on her own. She was a little hesitant, but she started to. This little girl who looked about 3 or 4 was talking to me, telling me what all she had done, and then she was like here, I'll help you and she grabbed Em's hand and they walked through together ,<3 There is nothing that warms my heart more than seeing kids helping other kids.
So then we went on this new modern teter-todder type thing, and once Em got on a few other kids joined. Some of them were bigger kids so they could put a little more effort into bouncing it. She had a great time on that. Then she wanted to go through the tunnel again. She got about a quarter of the way through when she hesitated because there were other kids hanging out inside the tunnel. One of them a little blonde boy about her age. He held out his hand and said come come, and he walked her through. I ran to the other end to see them coming. The two of them, both blonde and the same height, walking through the tunnel hand in hand was almost more than my heart could take. It was so cute!
The playground is on the other side of the fence from the carousel, and since Em tried climbing out of the SIL's arms and over the fence, we decided another ride on the carousel was in order. So this time we took her on an animal that also moved up and down, but we couldn't get a horse this time either, so she rode a chicken. She seemed to like it. After the ride we went to get custard. They have THE best custard I've ever had. Anytime I got talking and didn't give Em a bite, she'd yell mommy, mommy! Then we walked over to one of the train stations. We had a 20 minute wait for the next train, so we sat on a bench. Then a woman and her son came over and asked if we would like to play bubbles while we waited. Well, bubbles just so happens to be Em's favorite thing in the whole world (aside from cats, horses, trains, etc), so her and the little boy ran around chasing the bubbles. In a world where you're always encountering rude people, it was so refreshing to be surrounded by so many happy, friendly people.
After the train ride we decided to call it a day. I had promised to drop Em off at my dad's for a while that afternoon and he was getting antsy. He asked, since it was so late in the day, could they have her overnight. I called my husband and he said that was fine, so I took her over there. I stayed long enough to chat for a while, and then take a short walk with them, My dad had one of those radio flier wagons from when we were kids, so he made her a little seat so she wouldn't fall out of it so we took her out for her maiden voyage in the wagon. She loved it, every time I looked at her she was smiling from ear to ear.
They were getting ready to give her a bath when I was leaving. I asked her for a hug and kiss and tried to make sure she knew she was staying the night and I wasn't coming back for her that day but she was so excited for her bath, she wanted nothing to do with me. So I took her to get her clothes off while her bath was running and got a hug from her then. She so loves spending time with her Baba and Grammy. When I got home my husband was sleeping, so I sat in the chair to watch TV and my cat climbed on my lap, so I closed my eyes for a bit, but my rumbling tummy overrode my desire to sleep, so I ordered a pizza. So it was a nice night, we had pizza, watched some TV, I had a vodka and cranberry so I could take advantage of being childless for the night. Today I slept in until 10:30 when my dad called to see when I wanted her brought home. I told him whenever, but to call before he came, so I went back to sleep until 1! It was nice, but I don't know how I used to sleep till 1 and 2 before I was married and had kids. The whole day is gone before you know it, and my back really hurt, lol.
My dad dropped her off around two. She took the dreaded car nap, so she wouldn't sleep at all once she was home. No nap yesterday and no nap today. Yikes. All afternoon while we were watching tv she would curl up on my lap and I thought she would go to sleep. At one point she was even stretching her arms out and running her fingers over my face. I love when she does that, her little hands are so soft. But no sleep. Around 6 I took her outside to play in the front yard while I took down our christmas lights...finally. Our neighbors are so nice. I had giant ball ornaments on our one tree, and over the last few months they must have fell off the tree and might have blown away, so my next door neighbor gathered them all and put them in a bag and left them against the side of the house. We don't really talk aside from saying hi when we see each other, that was so nice of her.
Then while we were still outside working, my neighbor across the street called me over and asked if we wanted some pizza. They got an extra one by mistake and said it would go to waste if we didn't take it, so I said sure. So I took Em over there to visit for a few. Sometimes I get a bug to move, but I really do love our house, and we have such great neighbors. I could really see us living here forever. Though many of our neighbors are older, so that's scary. Not only will we miss them when they pass, but in another 10-15 years our neighborhood could be totally different. But hopefully new great people would move in.
When we were done I took Em in to eat dinner, and her no-nap monster came out. I got her to eat a halo tangerine, a little milk, a few bites of rice and half a breakfast bar. Not great, but better than nothing. She was so cranky we didn't brush teeth or read stories, I just put her to bed. She was crying and screaming, but I had to just say goodnight and shut the door. Luckily it only lasted 5 minutes, and she was out like a light.
Monday, April 4, 2016
Mommy wars
Oh the mommy wars, I can't seem to go more than a few days without reading something about it on facebook. And if it weren't for the comment section, I would think maybe, just maybe a percentage of the mommy wars is made up by the media. But no, people really think this way.
The biggest mommy war of course is breastfeeding. Women who breastfed vs women who didn't, women who tried and did not succeed vs women who did not try. Hell there are even wars between women who breastfeed, exclusive vs non-exclusive, those who nursed for a year vs those who nursed till 4. Give it up already.
I did try with Emily, but I suppose I went into it already questioning my ability since my milk did not come in with Kayla. I never thought twice about it not coming in, because I assumed my body knew it was too early. But after talking to several women who gave birth around when I did and even sooner, many woman reported that their milk did come in. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. I am sure the physical and emotional pain of your milk coming in for a baby that is not there for you to nurse is like a cruel joke. But I did begin to worry it meant something was wrong.
Not long before Emily was born, I asked the lactation nurse at a class I took, and she assured me that most likely it was my body's response to the trauma and grief of losing her. Still I was leery. When she wouldn't latch in the hospital, I got nervous, especially when she spent the entire second night crying her eyes out. I was certain she was starving, and not getting any food, so I gave in and gave her a bottle. I still tried halfheartedly to get her to latch once we were home, but I became even more worried when at her first pedi appointment she had lost an entire pound since birth.
Even if I had been able to get her to latch then, I would have been too scared to continue nursing, not knowing how much milk she was getting and if it was enough. So there was no way I could continue with her not latching, not eating, and being down so much weight. So we went exclusively to the bottle. It worked for us. She slept through the night by three months, and even before then she often slept a good 2-4 hours between feedings. I knew exactly how much she was getting, and I felt incredibly bonded to her. I read about many fellow moms whose babies were attached to them 24/7, nursing all the time. I already felt like she was attached to me, between just feeding her every couple hours, and holding her for snuggles. As much as I loved it, I also wasn't taking care of myself. I was barely eating, I lost 30 pounds in two weeks and most days I couldn't even remember when I had showered last. I couldn't imagine my baby being more attached to me than she already was.
So I tried and it didn't work. Do I get a cookie for trying? Most nursing advocates would be so kind to say yes. But if I hadn't tried, no cookie for me? That's what a lot of people believe. You have the hardcore nursers who say I nursed all 4 of my children, sometimes tandem nursed, while running a successful business from home, studying for my masters and homeschooling my other children. They'll say, because I did it, anyone can. So no amount of effort is good enough for them. If you tried and didn't succeed, bad mom!
But many people so graciously say, well it's one thing to try and not be able to do it. As long as a woman tries. Oh, so she has to try? Hmm, I guess I missed that in the mother handbook. Who says we should have to justify why we didn't nurse. I say I tried with Emily and didn't succeed, because that is what happened. But if I chose not to nurse, I don't see why I should suddenly be shunned because I "didn't even try".
Not feeding your baby at all? Yes, horrible mom. Abusing your baby? Yes, monster. But since when did feeding your baby (key words, feeding your baby) become a monstrous act because you are not feeding them the "right way". Yes, women have boobs and they were intended for feeding babies. Women have a uterus too, but not all mothers are made through their uterus. Would these same women vilify a mother for adopting vs having their own biological children? What if there was nothing wrong with their ability to have kids, but chose to adopt? What if they did give birth, but got their babies through a petri dish in a lab? I think almost all mothers agree that families are built in many different ways, but they fight over how to feed them?
If we have another kid, given my experience with nursing Em, I am not sure I would even try to nurse. I'll never say never, maybe I would give it the same effort I did with Em and if it works great but if not, head for the bottles. But maybe I wouldn't. Having a second baby is stressful enough (hell, having a baby period is stressful) so it would be super easy to say fuck it, and head for what I know, which is formula feeding (though I did pump also, so E got six months of BM in addition to formula. Does that give me any street cred with the nazi moms, or does the baby have to hang off my boob to count?).
Did I give up easily with Emily? Yeah, I did. Should I have consulted a lactation consultant, or tried a nipple shield (didn't even know these existed until after I quit), maybe. But what part of, I gave up nursing because I was terrified my baby was starving, screams horrible mother to someone? Sooo, I was supposed to keep on, worried my baby was hungry, just to prove that I could nurse? And how many women who didn't try, say they did and didn't succeed, just to avoid the backlash? Why should we have to try? Do children of mothers who didn't "even" try grow up unhealthy and unloved because of this? When people defend the right to an abortion, they say it is the woman's body, and therefore her choice. So many people are fine with a woman terminating her pregnancy, for whatever reason, because it is her body. But those same people want to persecute a woman for choosing to feed her child IN A DIFFERENT WAY, and ignore the fact that it is her body and her choice. We must keep abortion legal so that women aren't human incubators, but it is fine to demand we be nothing but a baby feeding machine?
So we have, aborting a baby, and and feeding in a different way and both have to do with a woman's choice. But somehow ending the pregnancy is acceptable, but feeding your baby via a different method, is somehow the worst thing a woman can do? So yeah, I'll say it right now, if I have another baby, there is a good chance, probably a better chance than not, that I will CHOOSE not to nurse. But if you think this is wrong, think about this. Feeding your child is not the only thing he or she needs. Babies need love, comfort, warmth, sleep, interaction, play, laughter, discipline etc. All of those things require actions from their parents, whether it be co-sleeping or a crib, paci vs no paci, attachment parenting vs free range parenting, etc. I guarantee you, even if you get a gold sticker for nursing the longest/best/hardest, there is SOMETHING you will do "wrong" (even though it works best for your family) that other mothers will judge you for.
So why do women think they can sit up on their high horse and judge mothers for how they feed their baby, when they themselves might let their kid have a paci past one year, or give them McDonalds one night instead of a home cooked meal, or delay potty training because it seems too hard, or not dress them warm enough on a cold day? NO mother is perfect, so stop judging others' imperfections, just because they are different from yours.
<Stepping off my soapbox>. So, my poor baby is sick. We had such a good run, no colds or earaches or anything for almost two years. She was sniffly a month or so ago when her molars were coming in, but other than that, nothing. But this morning she threw up, and had a temperature of 100. I gave her some Tylenol and she took a longer than usual nap today. When she woke up, my husband was like, she even looks like she isn't feeling well. You could see it in her eyes. She was still in pretty good spirits, but she had more cranky fits than usual and she wasn't playing with as much gusto as usual. She was also very snuggly today, spending much of her waking hours on my lap.
So tonight she felt very warm so I took her temp again, now 102. So, more Tylenol and I tried getting some dinner and liquids into her. She didn't get a ton, but I had her drink as much as I could. Luckily she liked the cranberry juice I gave her, it was all I had. When I put her to bed she laid down and asked for a blanket and said thank you when I covered her up. This is very unusual for her. She isn't always hard to put to bed, but she often protests a little. Today there was absolutely none. Once I closed her door I didn't hear another peep, and when I checked the monitor a little while later she was fast asleep. Her temperature was down to 100 before bed, so I feel a little better.
I think I could deal with other aspects of being sick, but fevers scare me. I had to check several sources to make sure I shouldn't take her in for 102. I think if her fever is still up tomorrow I might call her doctor before they close just for some peace of mind.
The biggest mommy war of course is breastfeeding. Women who breastfed vs women who didn't, women who tried and did not succeed vs women who did not try. Hell there are even wars between women who breastfeed, exclusive vs non-exclusive, those who nursed for a year vs those who nursed till 4. Give it up already.
I did try with Emily, but I suppose I went into it already questioning my ability since my milk did not come in with Kayla. I never thought twice about it not coming in, because I assumed my body knew it was too early. But after talking to several women who gave birth around when I did and even sooner, many woman reported that their milk did come in. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. I am sure the physical and emotional pain of your milk coming in for a baby that is not there for you to nurse is like a cruel joke. But I did begin to worry it meant something was wrong.
Not long before Emily was born, I asked the lactation nurse at a class I took, and she assured me that most likely it was my body's response to the trauma and grief of losing her. Still I was leery. When she wouldn't latch in the hospital, I got nervous, especially when she spent the entire second night crying her eyes out. I was certain she was starving, and not getting any food, so I gave in and gave her a bottle. I still tried halfheartedly to get her to latch once we were home, but I became even more worried when at her first pedi appointment she had lost an entire pound since birth.
Even if I had been able to get her to latch then, I would have been too scared to continue nursing, not knowing how much milk she was getting and if it was enough. So there was no way I could continue with her not latching, not eating, and being down so much weight. So we went exclusively to the bottle. It worked for us. She slept through the night by three months, and even before then she often slept a good 2-4 hours between feedings. I knew exactly how much she was getting, and I felt incredibly bonded to her. I read about many fellow moms whose babies were attached to them 24/7, nursing all the time. I already felt like she was attached to me, between just feeding her every couple hours, and holding her for snuggles. As much as I loved it, I also wasn't taking care of myself. I was barely eating, I lost 30 pounds in two weeks and most days I couldn't even remember when I had showered last. I couldn't imagine my baby being more attached to me than she already was.
So I tried and it didn't work. Do I get a cookie for trying? Most nursing advocates would be so kind to say yes. But if I hadn't tried, no cookie for me? That's what a lot of people believe. You have the hardcore nursers who say I nursed all 4 of my children, sometimes tandem nursed, while running a successful business from home, studying for my masters and homeschooling my other children. They'll say, because I did it, anyone can. So no amount of effort is good enough for them. If you tried and didn't succeed, bad mom!
But many people so graciously say, well it's one thing to try and not be able to do it. As long as a woman tries. Oh, so she has to try? Hmm, I guess I missed that in the mother handbook. Who says we should have to justify why we didn't nurse. I say I tried with Emily and didn't succeed, because that is what happened. But if I chose not to nurse, I don't see why I should suddenly be shunned because I "didn't even try".
Not feeding your baby at all? Yes, horrible mom. Abusing your baby? Yes, monster. But since when did feeding your baby (key words, feeding your baby) become a monstrous act because you are not feeding them the "right way". Yes, women have boobs and they were intended for feeding babies. Women have a uterus too, but not all mothers are made through their uterus. Would these same women vilify a mother for adopting vs having their own biological children? What if there was nothing wrong with their ability to have kids, but chose to adopt? What if they did give birth, but got their babies through a petri dish in a lab? I think almost all mothers agree that families are built in many different ways, but they fight over how to feed them?
If we have another kid, given my experience with nursing Em, I am not sure I would even try to nurse. I'll never say never, maybe I would give it the same effort I did with Em and if it works great but if not, head for the bottles. But maybe I wouldn't. Having a second baby is stressful enough (hell, having a baby period is stressful) so it would be super easy to say fuck it, and head for what I know, which is formula feeding (though I did pump also, so E got six months of BM in addition to formula. Does that give me any street cred with the nazi moms, or does the baby have to hang off my boob to count?).
Did I give up easily with Emily? Yeah, I did. Should I have consulted a lactation consultant, or tried a nipple shield (didn't even know these existed until after I quit), maybe. But what part of, I gave up nursing because I was terrified my baby was starving, screams horrible mother to someone? Sooo, I was supposed to keep on, worried my baby was hungry, just to prove that I could nurse? And how many women who didn't try, say they did and didn't succeed, just to avoid the backlash? Why should we have to try? Do children of mothers who didn't "even" try grow up unhealthy and unloved because of this? When people defend the right to an abortion, they say it is the woman's body, and therefore her choice. So many people are fine with a woman terminating her pregnancy, for whatever reason, because it is her body. But those same people want to persecute a woman for choosing to feed her child IN A DIFFERENT WAY, and ignore the fact that it is her body and her choice. We must keep abortion legal so that women aren't human incubators, but it is fine to demand we be nothing but a baby feeding machine?
So we have, aborting a baby, and and feeding in a different way and both have to do with a woman's choice. But somehow ending the pregnancy is acceptable, but feeding your baby via a different method, is somehow the worst thing a woman can do? So yeah, I'll say it right now, if I have another baby, there is a good chance, probably a better chance than not, that I will CHOOSE not to nurse. But if you think this is wrong, think about this. Feeding your child is not the only thing he or she needs. Babies need love, comfort, warmth, sleep, interaction, play, laughter, discipline etc. All of those things require actions from their parents, whether it be co-sleeping or a crib, paci vs no paci, attachment parenting vs free range parenting, etc. I guarantee you, even if you get a gold sticker for nursing the longest/best/hardest, there is SOMETHING you will do "wrong" (even though it works best for your family) that other mothers will judge you for.
So why do women think they can sit up on their high horse and judge mothers for how they feed their baby, when they themselves might let their kid have a paci past one year, or give them McDonalds one night instead of a home cooked meal, or delay potty training because it seems too hard, or not dress them warm enough on a cold day? NO mother is perfect, so stop judging others' imperfections, just because they are different from yours.
<Stepping off my soapbox>. So, my poor baby is sick. We had such a good run, no colds or earaches or anything for almost two years. She was sniffly a month or so ago when her molars were coming in, but other than that, nothing. But this morning she threw up, and had a temperature of 100. I gave her some Tylenol and she took a longer than usual nap today. When she woke up, my husband was like, she even looks like she isn't feeling well. You could see it in her eyes. She was still in pretty good spirits, but she had more cranky fits than usual and she wasn't playing with as much gusto as usual. She was also very snuggly today, spending much of her waking hours on my lap.
So tonight she felt very warm so I took her temp again, now 102. So, more Tylenol and I tried getting some dinner and liquids into her. She didn't get a ton, but I had her drink as much as I could. Luckily she liked the cranberry juice I gave her, it was all I had. When I put her to bed she laid down and asked for a blanket and said thank you when I covered her up. This is very unusual for her. She isn't always hard to put to bed, but she often protests a little. Today there was absolutely none. Once I closed her door I didn't hear another peep, and when I checked the monitor a little while later she was fast asleep. Her temperature was down to 100 before bed, so I feel a little better.
I think I could deal with other aspects of being sick, but fevers scare me. I had to check several sources to make sure I shouldn't take her in for 102. I think if her fever is still up tomorrow I might call her doctor before they close just for some peace of mind.
Saturday, April 2, 2016
Happy Birthday my angel
On the 24th of March, Kayla would have turned 3 years old. This year was definitely easier than previous ones, but I know better than to think the really painful days are behind me. Having a relatively easy time on the anniversary likely means one day when I am least expecting it, the grief will pounce and take me down. At least when it happens on the anniversary, I am prepared for it. So the day was pretty crappy, it poured rain all day. When my husband got up, we went out and got balloons and then went to the cemetery.
Since it was raining the plan was to leave Em in the car and let her release her balloon from the car, but I swear the rain picked up even harder once we got there. So Ryan ran out and secured her happy birthday balloon, the card, and stuffed puppy dog we got for her at the grave. Meanwhile I tried writing messages on the balloons, but the rain made it impossible and I couldn't get any of the balloons wiped off and dried long enough for the marker to write. Plus I am standing there with my car door open, trying to keep the balloons from flying away and I am getting drenched, as was my seat.
So I decided ok, no messages. So I took the balloons over to where Ryan was, and he attempted to untangle them so we could release. I had an umbrella but it was raining sideways so it didn't keep us very dry. While he was untangling them, one flew away. We got four, so one for each plus an extra. So then Ryan and I released ours but they flew pretty low and almost got caught in trees, and we didn't even want to stand there and watch them fly since it was so windy and rainy. Then before he could grab it, the fourth one blew away. So Em didn't get to do one. But that's fine, if it couldn't be at the grave, and her kind of knowing what was going on, vs sitting in the car and letting go of a balloon, I'd rather just do it another day. So the next nice day I'll take Em and let her release her own balloon for her sister.
We were going to go see this new memorial that was put in for lost babies in the next city over, but the weather was just too crappy, so we'll do that another day too. After that we went out to dinner. My jeans were glued to me because I was so wet, but I didn't care. It's not often the three of us go out to dinner because Ryan still gets frazzled when Em makes much noise or misbehaves. So I jumped at the chance to go. Dinner was nice at least.
This past week was a big girl week. Sunday night was Emily's last bubba. I washed them all and packed them away downstairs. I also did a ceremonious tossing of the bottle brush, and took the nipple/cap basket out of the dishwasher. There is so much more room in there now. She's doing pretty good. The first night without a bubba was ok, she went to sleep pretty easily. The second night she was up for quite a while, and tonight as well. But she wasn't fussing or crying, just quietly playing until she fell asleep. This time feels different, I think we were both ready to quit the bottles. When we tried before she cried for hours when I put her down, and I was itching to go get her a bottle so she could go to sleep. But this time, we're good. We're done. She has asked about them a few times, but I just say you're a big girl, big girls don't drink from bubbas, and she drops it.
I also cleaned her jumper and put it downstairs in storage. We hadn't actually put her in it to play in a very long time, probably not in the last year, but we still used it occasionally as baby jail when I needed to shower or something. But the older she got, the less she was content in baby jail, and we have things pretty well baby proofed. When I shower I just leave the door open so she can come in and out and see me, the doors to all the other rooms are closed, the gate keeps her out of the kitchen....I feel ok about leaving her loose while I shower. And if I really want a nice shower without worrying about her, I just do it when she naps.
I thought all of the packing away baby things would make me sad, but it's not. It feels good, like the place we're supposed to be in. She's not a baby anymore, so her baby things aren't needed. For that reason, I am thinking we're done. She's only 2, but sometimes the idea of starting all over with another baby is kind of terrifying. As if we've been out of that stage for so long. And I am so happy with her, I don't really ever sit around feeling like our family isn't complete, or that we need one more (well, I wish Kayla were here). But then again, today seems to be a "we're done" day. Other days I really feel like another one would be nice. Most days I am about 90/10, that we're one and done. Some days I am more like 70/30, but I wouldn't say there are any days that the "have another" number is bigger than the "don't have another". I think what it all comes down to is trying to accept how things are, vs how I always thought they would be. I always thought I would have two kids, I always thought I would want two kids. But more and more I am seeing how content I am with just one, but it's hard to let go of that picture I always had of what my life would be like.
I don't know if anyone else has ever felt this way, but when I do have pangs to have another baby, sometimes it is not so much as, I want another baby, but more like, I want to have Emily all over again. I don't really want another, different kid. I just want to start the clock over with her so I can enjoy all the fun over again.
So anyway, she has been taking her clothes off a lot, and her diaper. Even if she isn't wet or poopy, she loves to run around naked. So I figured, maybe it's time to potty train. For about 24 hours I was confident I could do it myself without a book or a plan. After all, I am sure my grandma didn't have a book to potty train her kids. I already had a package of pull ups that I bought a while ago because it got me double Pampers points. So last Monday morning, I took off her diaper and said, we're going to wear underwear now (the pull up). That didn't work so well, she still called it a diapy.
So for the entire day, every 45 mins to an hour I would take her to the potty. Most of the time she was happy to sit on it, but no results. In fact she was more excited to push it over to the sink and use it as a step stool like I showed her so she could "ath" (bath) her hands. I tried giving her one M & M for really sitting and trying to go, and she would get two for pee and four for poop. By that evening, no results. Her pull up was usually dry, but she wouldn't go....then at some point in the 45 minutes between potty time, she would go in her pull up.
So on the last pee of the night, she sat and wouldn't go, so she stood up and was playing around in the bathroom for a minute when she just started peeing all over the floor. I hurried up and got her on the potty. As I hustled her over there, she did stop peeing, and started again once on the pot. She bent over to watch her pee, and I was cheering her on. She was really excited that she did it, so I was hopeful that the next day would yield good results, but nope, nothing. And she still kept calling her pull up a diapy.
So by the end of the second day I said fuck it, I don't know what I am doing. Yeah, I am sure I could eventually get her trained with just winging it, but at the expense of how many months and times I want to pull my hair out? If I can just read a book and have her pretty well trained in a few days, why not? So I got Oh Crap, which is the recommended book in my mom group. It said if you haven't started yet, or have given it a go, to just take the next two weeks, put away any paraphernalia and just put PT'ing out of your mind. Pick a date to go diaper free, and then jump all in. So the basic idea is there is four blocks. Block one is being totally naked, and watching her like a hawk all day. When she begins to pee, hurry up and put her on the toilet. The idea is that once you do it often enough, you will catch her signals about 5-10 second before she goes, get her on the pot in time and she will begin to make the connection herself.
Block two is clothes back on, but going commando so you can A. easily get clothes off to potty, and B. snug underwear still feels too much like a diaper. Then so on and so fourth, once they get that down, then on to underwear, small trips out, then longer trips out. I understand the method, I mean, the two days of using pull ups makes me agree with the author, pull ups are just a diaper that you put on like underwear. I'm sure it works for some, but I can see how pull ups would prolong things if kids still just go in their pull ups when they can't be bothered to get to the potty on time.
I know Em won't have an issue with being naked, she loves to be naked. But I don't want to clean up pee from my carpet, so we'll be spending those days in the kitchen. I've just got to come up with a game plan of fun things to do in the kitchen. The thing that is giving me anxiety is the commando stage. The book says you're going to have them go commando for at least a few weeks to a month. I am fine with clearing my calendar and not leaving the house for the first several days, but a month going commando? Yikes! It scares me to think of not really being able to leave the house much for a month. But at the same time, the idea of leaving the house, with not even underwear on is scary.
But, I would rather get this over with in a month, then drag it our for a year like some have to do. And I guess once we get to that stage it won't be as scary. Like the author says, you learn your kids pee behavior. If they don't do much peeing before noon, you make sure they try to pee before you leave the house, and get your errands done in the morning. Hopefully she'll be one of those kids that just gets it right away and it's easy peasy.
So I set the date for April 10th to start training, but I just had a phone interview the other day for a job. It seemed to go well, so we'll likely be scheduling an in-person interview soon which would be for the week we were going to start training. So obviously I cannot leave her with someone else on day 4 of training, so we'll have to post pone the start date. But what if I get the job? It's a work from home position, which is awesome, so I can do all my work around Em's naps, bed time and time she's at her grandparents. But for at least a week or two I will have to go to the boss's house to train for the job, so we'll have to post pone yet again. Sometimes it takes a long time to get things going with jobs....hopefully not, but it could mean putting off potty training until like May, depending on how long it takes to get trained and settled in the job, if I get it.
I am actually not too upset about that, I hate potty training. When I worked at the daycare, the kids that were being potty trained were the worst (the training, not the kids). I'd seriously rather change diapers for the rest of my life. But, I just don't want to feel like I am putting it off for reason after reason. But really what can I do? If I have to go a few days a week to train for a job, there is no way I could start her training when I wouldn't even be home with her for several days. Hopefully I'll get the job, and things will happen quickly so we can get back to training.
Lately at bedtime, our favorite book to read is The Night you were Born. Emmy seems to like it, and I just love it....the story, the words, the illustrations. It makes me sleepy just thinking about it. Then I thought, how awesome would that be to have a "The night you were born" nursery? Our office is already painted a dark blue, a wall quote with a quote from the book, some blown up pages from the book as wall art, and maybe a few polar bear fatheads on the wall? I think that would be beautiful. See it's shit like that that makes me want another baby, the excitement of decorating a nursery, and the fun of getting to use our boys name, or the new girls name we agreed on....but those aren't good reasons to have another kid. Maybe I'll satiate my desire by making Emily some 'night you were born wall art.
Since it was raining the plan was to leave Em in the car and let her release her balloon from the car, but I swear the rain picked up even harder once we got there. So Ryan ran out and secured her happy birthday balloon, the card, and stuffed puppy dog we got for her at the grave. Meanwhile I tried writing messages on the balloons, but the rain made it impossible and I couldn't get any of the balloons wiped off and dried long enough for the marker to write. Plus I am standing there with my car door open, trying to keep the balloons from flying away and I am getting drenched, as was my seat.
So I decided ok, no messages. So I took the balloons over to where Ryan was, and he attempted to untangle them so we could release. I had an umbrella but it was raining sideways so it didn't keep us very dry. While he was untangling them, one flew away. We got four, so one for each plus an extra. So then Ryan and I released ours but they flew pretty low and almost got caught in trees, and we didn't even want to stand there and watch them fly since it was so windy and rainy. Then before he could grab it, the fourth one blew away. So Em didn't get to do one. But that's fine, if it couldn't be at the grave, and her kind of knowing what was going on, vs sitting in the car and letting go of a balloon, I'd rather just do it another day. So the next nice day I'll take Em and let her release her own balloon for her sister.
We were going to go see this new memorial that was put in for lost babies in the next city over, but the weather was just too crappy, so we'll do that another day too. After that we went out to dinner. My jeans were glued to me because I was so wet, but I didn't care. It's not often the three of us go out to dinner because Ryan still gets frazzled when Em makes much noise or misbehaves. So I jumped at the chance to go. Dinner was nice at least.
This past week was a big girl week. Sunday night was Emily's last bubba. I washed them all and packed them away downstairs. I also did a ceremonious tossing of the bottle brush, and took the nipple/cap basket out of the dishwasher. There is so much more room in there now. She's doing pretty good. The first night without a bubba was ok, she went to sleep pretty easily. The second night she was up for quite a while, and tonight as well. But she wasn't fussing or crying, just quietly playing until she fell asleep. This time feels different, I think we were both ready to quit the bottles. When we tried before she cried for hours when I put her down, and I was itching to go get her a bottle so she could go to sleep. But this time, we're good. We're done. She has asked about them a few times, but I just say you're a big girl, big girls don't drink from bubbas, and she drops it.
I also cleaned her jumper and put it downstairs in storage. We hadn't actually put her in it to play in a very long time, probably not in the last year, but we still used it occasionally as baby jail when I needed to shower or something. But the older she got, the less she was content in baby jail, and we have things pretty well baby proofed. When I shower I just leave the door open so she can come in and out and see me, the doors to all the other rooms are closed, the gate keeps her out of the kitchen....I feel ok about leaving her loose while I shower. And if I really want a nice shower without worrying about her, I just do it when she naps.
I thought all of the packing away baby things would make me sad, but it's not. It feels good, like the place we're supposed to be in. She's not a baby anymore, so her baby things aren't needed. For that reason, I am thinking we're done. She's only 2, but sometimes the idea of starting all over with another baby is kind of terrifying. As if we've been out of that stage for so long. And I am so happy with her, I don't really ever sit around feeling like our family isn't complete, or that we need one more (well, I wish Kayla were here). But then again, today seems to be a "we're done" day. Other days I really feel like another one would be nice. Most days I am about 90/10, that we're one and done. Some days I am more like 70/30, but I wouldn't say there are any days that the "have another" number is bigger than the "don't have another". I think what it all comes down to is trying to accept how things are, vs how I always thought they would be. I always thought I would have two kids, I always thought I would want two kids. But more and more I am seeing how content I am with just one, but it's hard to let go of that picture I always had of what my life would be like.
I don't know if anyone else has ever felt this way, but when I do have pangs to have another baby, sometimes it is not so much as, I want another baby, but more like, I want to have Emily all over again. I don't really want another, different kid. I just want to start the clock over with her so I can enjoy all the fun over again.
So anyway, she has been taking her clothes off a lot, and her diaper. Even if she isn't wet or poopy, she loves to run around naked. So I figured, maybe it's time to potty train. For about 24 hours I was confident I could do it myself without a book or a plan. After all, I am sure my grandma didn't have a book to potty train her kids. I already had a package of pull ups that I bought a while ago because it got me double Pampers points. So last Monday morning, I took off her diaper and said, we're going to wear underwear now (the pull up). That didn't work so well, she still called it a diapy.
So for the entire day, every 45 mins to an hour I would take her to the potty. Most of the time she was happy to sit on it, but no results. In fact she was more excited to push it over to the sink and use it as a step stool like I showed her so she could "ath" (bath) her hands. I tried giving her one M & M for really sitting and trying to go, and she would get two for pee and four for poop. By that evening, no results. Her pull up was usually dry, but she wouldn't go....then at some point in the 45 minutes between potty time, she would go in her pull up.
So on the last pee of the night, she sat and wouldn't go, so she stood up and was playing around in the bathroom for a minute when she just started peeing all over the floor. I hurried up and got her on the potty. As I hustled her over there, she did stop peeing, and started again once on the pot. She bent over to watch her pee, and I was cheering her on. She was really excited that she did it, so I was hopeful that the next day would yield good results, but nope, nothing. And she still kept calling her pull up a diapy.
So by the end of the second day I said fuck it, I don't know what I am doing. Yeah, I am sure I could eventually get her trained with just winging it, but at the expense of how many months and times I want to pull my hair out? If I can just read a book and have her pretty well trained in a few days, why not? So I got Oh Crap, which is the recommended book in my mom group. It said if you haven't started yet, or have given it a go, to just take the next two weeks, put away any paraphernalia and just put PT'ing out of your mind. Pick a date to go diaper free, and then jump all in. So the basic idea is there is four blocks. Block one is being totally naked, and watching her like a hawk all day. When she begins to pee, hurry up and put her on the toilet. The idea is that once you do it often enough, you will catch her signals about 5-10 second before she goes, get her on the pot in time and she will begin to make the connection herself.
Block two is clothes back on, but going commando so you can A. easily get clothes off to potty, and B. snug underwear still feels too much like a diaper. Then so on and so fourth, once they get that down, then on to underwear, small trips out, then longer trips out. I understand the method, I mean, the two days of using pull ups makes me agree with the author, pull ups are just a diaper that you put on like underwear. I'm sure it works for some, but I can see how pull ups would prolong things if kids still just go in their pull ups when they can't be bothered to get to the potty on time.
I know Em won't have an issue with being naked, she loves to be naked. But I don't want to clean up pee from my carpet, so we'll be spending those days in the kitchen. I've just got to come up with a game plan of fun things to do in the kitchen. The thing that is giving me anxiety is the commando stage. The book says you're going to have them go commando for at least a few weeks to a month. I am fine with clearing my calendar and not leaving the house for the first several days, but a month going commando? Yikes! It scares me to think of not really being able to leave the house much for a month. But at the same time, the idea of leaving the house, with not even underwear on is scary.
But, I would rather get this over with in a month, then drag it our for a year like some have to do. And I guess once we get to that stage it won't be as scary. Like the author says, you learn your kids pee behavior. If they don't do much peeing before noon, you make sure they try to pee before you leave the house, and get your errands done in the morning. Hopefully she'll be one of those kids that just gets it right away and it's easy peasy.
So I set the date for April 10th to start training, but I just had a phone interview the other day for a job. It seemed to go well, so we'll likely be scheduling an in-person interview soon which would be for the week we were going to start training. So obviously I cannot leave her with someone else on day 4 of training, so we'll have to post pone the start date. But what if I get the job? It's a work from home position, which is awesome, so I can do all my work around Em's naps, bed time and time she's at her grandparents. But for at least a week or two I will have to go to the boss's house to train for the job, so we'll have to post pone yet again. Sometimes it takes a long time to get things going with jobs....hopefully not, but it could mean putting off potty training until like May, depending on how long it takes to get trained and settled in the job, if I get it.
I am actually not too upset about that, I hate potty training. When I worked at the daycare, the kids that were being potty trained were the worst (the training, not the kids). I'd seriously rather change diapers for the rest of my life. But, I just don't want to feel like I am putting it off for reason after reason. But really what can I do? If I have to go a few days a week to train for a job, there is no way I could start her training when I wouldn't even be home with her for several days. Hopefully I'll get the job, and things will happen quickly so we can get back to training.
Lately at bedtime, our favorite book to read is The Night you were Born. Emmy seems to like it, and I just love it....the story, the words, the illustrations. It makes me sleepy just thinking about it. Then I thought, how awesome would that be to have a "The night you were born" nursery? Our office is already painted a dark blue, a wall quote with a quote from the book, some blown up pages from the book as wall art, and maybe a few polar bear fatheads on the wall? I think that would be beautiful. See it's shit like that that makes me want another baby, the excitement of decorating a nursery, and the fun of getting to use our boys name, or the new girls name we agreed on....but those aren't good reasons to have another kid. Maybe I'll satiate my desire by making Emily some 'night you were born wall art.
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