35/35!

I'm 35 weeks down, 35 days to go.  Wow that's scary.  I cannot believe Boo will be here in 35 days or less.  After tomorrow I've only got four weeks left of work, eeeek!  I can't wait, I am so tired of trying to stay awake at work.

My NST the other day was combined with a doctor appt.  She did great on the NST, and my cerclage is still good and I get it out in about two weeks.  I'm very nervous for that.  She said the more relaxed I can be, the easier it is on all of us.  Pelvic exams I can handle, transvaginal ultrasounds no problem.  But I absolutely hate anything that involves a speculum.  But I'm planning on my husband being at that appt, so hopefully that will make me a little calmer.

I'm also nervous about having it in for another two weeks.  My doctor stressed that if I am having any bleeding or contractions I need to get to L&D right away because I don't want to be having contractions with the cerclage in.  Yuck, that makes me nervous.  She also said I am measuring a little large according to fundal height.  Of course I didn't think to ask how large, I'll ask tomorrow.  I know a lot of people measure larger, and neither fundal height nor growth scan are completly accurate, but with having diabetes I am nervous about having to push out a 9+ pound football. 

Obviously since I am having an epi that won't be that big of a deal but I am very nervous about tearing.  Ryan and I have decided to start calling her by her name to each other.  I don't feel it is as necessary to keep her distant from her name anymore, and I don't want her to arrive and not feel like her name at all by not using it before then.  And often when I am compelled to call her something other than Boo, it's Kayla.  I know if things were different, it's very common to call sisters by each others names by accident.  Hell my mom used to call me by my brother's name all the time.  But with Kayla not being here, I'm very uncomfortable with calling Boo by her sister's name just because I'm already worried that we're replacing her, or on the flip side, that Boo will forever feel like she's living in Kayla's shadow, and that she's only here because Kayla is not.

So we'll still call her Boo to everyone else, I am not comfortable with everyone calling her by her name yet.  Plus, 95% of our friends and family don't even know the name we have picked out, so we might as well keep it a surprise at this point.