This and that

So MH's SA went well....er, going to do it went well, we don't have the results back yet.  I am assuming they are going to wait until my next appt on the 30th to go over his SA and my CD3 b/w and u/s since they haven't called yet. 

I started temping on Sunday, but after three days of vaginal temping I decided to go back to oral, so I deleted the previous temps and basically started temping on Wednesday.  I hurt my back again on Sunday, and it's just too painful (I guess my arms are too short, lol) to manuever to temp that way, plus everything is difficult when I am half asleep.  I am a little unsure if my temps are going to show O (if I O)...MH's alarm goes off at 5am but I don't temp until 6.  The logical thing to do would be to temp at 5 and go back to sleep, but I am so out of it at 5, all I can do is toss and turn until he finally turns off the alarm around 5:40, so by the time I temp at 6 I have probably moved too much and been awake too much to really get an accurate reading.  But I've decided not to stress about it, hopefully if I O, the OPKs will catch my surge and there will still be enough of a temp shift to see it.

I am really really hoping I can O with just the increased metformin....though I had hoped that when I increased from 500 to 1000, but I would say 1500 is a pretty good dosage, so maybe it will work.  I started using OPKs today, negative this morning, but it's only CD10.  If I O it probably won't be for another week or so.  I thought I saw some ferning on the scope, but who knows, it's showed a lot of ferning before and I couldn't trust it.  I'll continue to use it and hopefully in conjunction with temping and OPKs it will help reinforce what those methods are saying but I won't trust it just by itself.

So I've been going back and forth lately on when to tell our family what is going on.  I kind of wanted to wait and see if I O/get pregnant this cycle, but if I don't O then I will likely start clomid next cycle, and then I would want to wait to see if I get pregnant from that....basically I just keep finding reasons to put it off.  I was thinking about it the other night while I was trying to sleep, and I decided I want to tell them ASAP.  Life is short, you never know what tomorrow will bring.  I never told my grandma any of this and now she is gone and I so regret not having her support while she was here, so I don't want to make that same mistake again.

I am going to get a pedicure with my MIL next Saturday, so I plan on telling her then.    As far as my dad, I don't know....I don't see him very often since he works so much, so I decided I'll probably tell him over the phone.  Neither one of us are very good with showing emotion, so I think he would probably appreciate being told over the phone so he can react however he wants.  I would guess the news that we've been trying for a while won't be too surprising, but I am not sure how he will react to the miscarriage.  Even if he doesn't really feel anything in the sense of losing a grandkid or anything like that, he'll likely feel really bad that I went through that and he didn't know at the time.  My brother said he felt really bad when I told him, and he felt like he should have somehow known so he could have been there for me.

I don't think anyone will be mad per se, but I am a little nervous that they'll be hurt we didn't tell them at the time.  I kind of sort of regret not telling them now, but it was the right decision at the time.  I am sure my dad will understand that though...he sat on the news that he had prostate cancer for months and didn't tell us until he was about to start treatment because he didn't want us to worry when there was nothing we could do.  I can understand that, and the same applies here.  They didn't know the good news, so why tell them the bad news....plus I was so certain we would get pregnant again right away so I wasn't ready tp spill our TTC secret yet.

The bad thing about trying to tell my dad is, it's seldom that he is sitting around doing nothing.  Usually when I talk to him he is driving, or he is at work.  So I've got to catch him someday when he is at home...ugh I'm nervous, but I know I will feel better once they know and I'll have additional support.