I hung out with my brother last night....it was nice, since he moved a little further away and is working more, I don't see him much. It was fun to get one last night in before I won't be able to carry on a conversation because my little one will be dependent on me 24/7. We went to Target because I fell asleep earlier and didn't make it there, went to dinner and then came back to our house and watched a few episodes of Dexter since he never finished watching when the show was still on.
So one of the many topics we talked about was gifts, and how gift happy the world has become. Nobody can do anything for anyone anymore without there being a gift expected for it....not saying that the individual person who does something for someone else expects a gift, but in society in general it seems like gifts have become the norm for everything and it drives me crazy. Your loved ones threw you a baby shower? You better buy them some gifts. Your labor and delivery nurse was super sweet and did her job, don't forget a tray of cookies or homemade treat baskets for the entire nursing staff. You found the love of your life, spent a lot of money on rings for each other, not to mention whatever you spend on the wedding and honeymoon itself? Don't forget the traditional bride and groom gifts to each other.
I hate it, it's stupid. Not everything calls for a gift. Yes, be gracious, be appreciative, but I feel like all of these gift giving events are done purely out of obligation and you don't want to be that person that doesn't do it. My family and friends spent a lot of time, money and put a lot of thought into our shower to make sure it was everything we wanted. I wrote them each a very heartfelt thank you note, and gave them each a small heartshaped box of chocolates as a thank you. I wanted them to know how much we appreciated it, and the chocolates was a little something extra, but I think cost no more than $5each.
But I hear of women buying their hostesses $40 and up spa packages, gift baskets, and the like. I feel like it kind of takes away from the original gift. Like it takes away the meaning of their gift if I feel obligated to give a gift in return. They didn't throw me a shower in order to get a gift out of it, they did it because they love us and love our baby and wanted to celebrate with us.
So among the topics of gifts was push presents. Let me just say, I loathe the idea of a push presents. Apparently my brother told his fiancee about this, so she messaged me today, telling me I absolutely deserve a push present and Ryan should get me something; citing how I spent the last 9 months in discomfort and pain, and then I still have to go through the pain and emotional rolleroaster of actually giving birth.
Um, yeah, first of all there is no greater gift than holding my baby safely in my arms, and getting to take her home. I would imagine even women who have not been through a loss feel this amazing gratitude that their little one is here safe, but after waiting three years and losing two, there is no way I can deny how lucky we will be to finally have our rainbow baby. Secondly, I'm a woman. I have the parts, therefore it's up to me. I don't think I deserve anything for doing something that I chose to do. It's not my husband's fault that women have the babies, nor is it his obligation to give me a gift to "make up for" my misery. I much more appreciate him cleaning the toilet because I'm still puking and puking into a smelly toilet is pure hell. Or the fact that he'll come to bed and rub my back for a few minutes and make sure I am covered up because I am freezing after kicking my blankets off. Or the fact that he'll come home after working 24 hours straight and shovel and salt the walkway to my car at 3 in the morning to make sure his huge pregnant wife isn't at risk of slipping on the ice on her way to work. He'll also clean all of the shoes away from the door and put just my shoes on the mat so I don't have to search for my shoes and trip over the others on the way out the door.
All of this means so much more to me than him handing me a piece of jewelry because I did the things that millions of other women have done, and did what my body was made to do. That being said, for our anniversary we were going to buy each other gifts this year, as we usually don't. My husband loves tanzanite and had always wanted to buy me a tanzanite ring, so I found a beautiful one with three stones, which I thought was an awesome representation of our three babies. He wanted a nice watch, but we weren't able to find one he liked in our price range.
It turns out his friend has one he is willing to sell him for the exact price of the ring, but we just haven't gotten around to purchasing them so we decided to try to do that soon. I guess some may look at this and say, um, that's a push present. But to me it's the meaning behind it. I love the idea of us each having something to symbolize this new journey we're about to take together, rather than "I pushed out a baby therefore I am entitled to a new piece of jewlery". For years to come when he wears his watch and I wear the ring, we'll think of this time in our lives.
Right after we found out we were pregnant with Kayla, my husband bought me a necklace that was a slightly belated anniversary gift that year. So even though it wasn't about her per se, it's special to me because of when I got it, and when I look at it, it reminds me of Kayla and how happy we were when we bought it.
Anyway, that's just my little rant of the day. I'm off to clean....my nesting rampage was quickly undone in the last few weeks while I've been sick, so I need to get this house back in order.
No comments:
Post a Comment