I was a bad cat mommy today. The electric company came to pick up our old freezer, so I had Emily in my arms, trying to feed her and direct them to the freezer in the basement. I saw our cat Vinny in the kitchen so I picked him up and put him in our bedroom, and I just assumed the noise they had made thus far had scared our other cat, Zoey, into the office so I just shut the door.
They had to take the back door off for about 10 minutes, but a few minutes later I got nervous, what if Zoey wasn't in the office? Vinny is the one we have to watch all the time to make sure he doesn't escape, and Zoey is the scardey cat that hides, but I was worried if he was hiding in the basement, he might have got scared enough to decide to abandon his hiding place and make a run for it, and with the door at the top of the stairs being off, I could see him getting confused and run outside.
I didn't want to tell my husband and worry him, he loves Zoey. He loves Vinny too, but often gets annoyed by him and Zoey is his absolute favorite. I'm kind of the same way, I LOVE Vinny, he is cute and snuggly, but Zoey is my baby. I've had him since he was a kitten, he'll be 12 this summer and he's been with me ever since I first moved out on my own into my first apartment. I'd be very sad if Vinny got out, but I would be heartbroken if Zoey got lost.
So I tried shaking some treats to get him to come out of his hiding spot, but no luck. After about 10 minutes I decided I had to tell Ryan, cause if he was outside the sooner we looked for him the better chance he'd still be in the area. We must have looked for him for almost half an hour, shaking treats and his food, calling his name. I even went outside in my PJ's looking for him and leaving some food around the backyward, I am sure the racoons thank me.
So then Ryan went outside to look around....I kept getting my hopes up when I would hear a bell jingle but it was just Vinny everytime. By now I was in tears, really worried now that he had gotten out and was gone. He has a tag that says he is an indoor cat and our phone number, and he is chipped, but still, what if someone didn't check it or didn't care and kept him, what if he got run over by a car? Finally finally I shook the food again and I heard the bell, and I went into the kitchen assuming it was Vinny but almost passed out from joy that it was Zoey, so I called Ryan and told him he was here.
Ugh, I cannot believe he hid for so long. Thankfully I'm doing a little better on the real mommy front. We've had a few good nights in a row. I've been giving her a little extra in her 11:30 bottle and then I swaddle her, rock her and/or put her in the boppy until she's asleep, and then I move her to her crib and she's been sleeping through till each feeding. She's usually awake and waiting for me for her 8:30 am feeding, but I generally have to wake her up for her 5:30 feeding and she's often too sleepy to finish it all.
My anxiety is getting a little better....I hate bedtime. I like having her with me all the time, where I can keep an eye on her and make sure she is ok. But at bedtime, all I can do is stare at the monitor and make sure she's moving, or I'll get up and actually check on her. I've debated getting something so she can sleep in our room, but I'm not sure that will help my anxiety because if I don't happen to hear her breathing, I'll still be sitting up to look at her all the time. Plus, she does so well in her crib, I hate to break that routine.
But I have been sleeping a little better, I've been able to relax a little and get a better night sleep between feedings. She's still battling what I think is gas pain. I'm not certain, it could just be fussiness, but she seems to be in real pain when she cries. She'll get this look of agony on her face, she'll scream and cry for about 30 seconds and then she'll calm down as quickly as it all started, and the whole time I can hear her belly gurgling. I called the doctor the other day and she told me of these gas drops to try. They seem to be helping but she's been really fussy today, but I am happy for a little relief anyway.
A few times now when she's screaming in pain I also sit there crying because it just breaks my heart to see her so upset and suffering and I can't do anything about it. I cannot even console her when she's that upset. The doctor also wants me to cut out dairy to see if that helps since she gets half breastmilk. I think I'll start that tomorrow, but first I wanted to see if the drops help, and then I'll cut out dairy to see if that prevents the gas.
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