It's here!

Praise Jesus, I finally got my period!  Ok so Jesus probably doesn't care about one chick's menstruating habits, but praise him anyway! 

It's ridiculous how happy I am to have it.  The cramps are vicious, I am not sure if they're worse due to the provera or if it's just been so friggin long that I can't remember how they feel.  But strangely enough I am happy to have the cramps.  It feels so good to see CD1 on my chart rather than CD146.  Now I am just praying my body will regulate and I will O so I won't be stuck in another looooong cycle.

I was toying with taking Maca again, or even Vitex I've been reading about that is supposed to help with PCOS and ovulation.  But I decided not to mess with any of that stuff...it's probably safe and ok, but I'd rather just lose weight and get my cycles back on track that way.  I'm giving myself a break for this week because I feel like hell with my period (so excited to say that) but starting Saturday I have got to get serious again.  I was taking Maca when I got pregnant in December and this may not be the case, but I am so paranoid that taking it and then stopping it contributed to the miscarriage.  I know self-blame is common after a miscarriage, but honestly I would rather it take a little longer to get pregnant, then to get pregnant and worry that something I took did damage.

Besides, I'd really like to lose weight before I get pregnant.  I mean, I'll take a positive right now, but losing weight is definitely not a bad thing and I like the idea of getting my cycle back on track in a natural way.  I've avoided weighing in for the last two weeks because I know I haven't done well and didn't want to see the gain, but I think I need to suck it up and weigh in tomorrow.  I am terrified I will see that I've gained back the 6 pounds I lost....but if that happaned, it's not like not seeing it won't make it true.  Plus maybe I need a shock to get my butt back into gear.  Losing one pound a week is not that hard, so I need to just stop making excuses.  I did it once, I can do it again.