I've never heard of such a thing, but apparently I have it. My gums have been sore for weeks, they haven't bled yet, but in addition to hurting when I eat, my overall mouth is now extra sensitive to any food that isn't bland as hell, even mayo is irritating. I heard in passing that sore gums can happen, so I didn't worry about it, until I googled last night (I know, shouldn't google). I know it's not exactly the same thing as having gingivitis, there is a reason for it due to the extra blood flow and causing my gums to be fuller and more sensitive, so it's not like I have neglected my teeth and in most cases it goes away once the baby is born. But the mere fact that it is called this freaks me out.
I've always only been a once a day brusher....I don't recall my parents ever making us brush our teeth at night and since I've always brushed my teeth for an insanely long time, I rarely get cavities and my hygienist always praises how well I do brushing my teeth, I figured there was no reason to brush twice a day. But now I am worried....and my teeth do feel extra gunky since I got pregnant, so I am thinking of becoming a twice a day-er....however it hurts. So I think when I make my Target trip tomorrow I will pick up some kids toothpaste and kids brush that is softer, see if that helps. But I have a cleaning next month, so I'll make sure everything is fine.
Well, that's all the exciting stuff I have to report, unless you want to hear about how my poops are getting better because of Colace. No? Didn't think so.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
Results- 14 wks 3 days
Well, I didn't do so well on the glucose test. The nurse wants me to come in to see a dietician. This is going to sound dumb, but I kind of feel like it will be a waste of time. Not that I am not going to really try to commit to eating better, but I already know what I should be doing, the problem so far is that I just haven't been doing it. The only way I think I will benefit is maybe some dinner ideas....aside from chicken all the time, I am kind of at a loss for what to make for dinners.
So it's my own fault that I am in this situation. I had two years to lose the weight I gained before the wedding, hell in that time I could have lost everything I gained back. I get mad whenever I hear of these stupid fad diets. Their always like, eat whatever you want and just shake this crap on your food, it will instantly blast fat so you can be high school skinny. Oh shut up, all you need to do it eat well, and move your ass, but somehow I can't seem to take my own advice.
I have done well this last week though, and I lost almost a pound. So I guess for a while I need to stick with the lunch I have been having becaue it is only 9 points and I stay pretty full. For breakfast I have frosted mini wheats and a glass of milk and an orange, and that really keeps me full until lunch, then I have either tuna or chicken salad sandwhich, a little applesauce cup and a diced peaches cup in light syrup, then around 3 I have a piece of fruit and some cheese so the protein will help me stay full. That's been working for me, so I'll just stick with that until I get sick of it.
I really need to start walking again. I am not too sure about the workout video, I spotted the next day after I did it, so I am nervous. But walking should be fine, and walking for 40 minutes while watching Friends on TV should be a piece of cake. I just need better motivation, I have to remember this isn't just about me anymore. The junk that I eat, my baby eats. I just have to picture my baby mowing on a greasy, fattening chicken sandwhich from Burger King, hopefully that will help me make better choices.
So it's my own fault that I am in this situation. I had two years to lose the weight I gained before the wedding, hell in that time I could have lost everything I gained back. I get mad whenever I hear of these stupid fad diets. Their always like, eat whatever you want and just shake this crap on your food, it will instantly blast fat so you can be high school skinny. Oh shut up, all you need to do it eat well, and move your ass, but somehow I can't seem to take my own advice.
I have done well this last week though, and I lost almost a pound. So I guess for a while I need to stick with the lunch I have been having becaue it is only 9 points and I stay pretty full. For breakfast I have frosted mini wheats and a glass of milk and an orange, and that really keeps me full until lunch, then I have either tuna or chicken salad sandwhich, a little applesauce cup and a diced peaches cup in light syrup, then around 3 I have a piece of fruit and some cheese so the protein will help me stay full. That's been working for me, so I'll just stick with that until I get sick of it.
I really need to start walking again. I am not too sure about the workout video, I spotted the next day after I did it, so I am nervous. But walking should be fine, and walking for 40 minutes while watching Friends on TV should be a piece of cake. I just need better motivation, I have to remember this isn't just about me anymore. The junk that I eat, my baby eats. I just have to picture my baby mowing on a greasy, fattening chicken sandwhich from Burger King, hopefully that will help me make better choices.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
3 hour glucose- 14 wks 1 day
I survived the test, and it actually wasn't bad at all. Though that depended on a few things, so if I were to have to repeat it, it could very well go badly. So I had to eat at least 150 carbs each day for the last three days. Surprisingly that was not hard to do at all, even on the days I was eaitng pretty healthy, I met that minimum very easily, often before dinner. Geeze, do I eat too many carbs or what?
I had to stop eating last night at 8:30; my husband had to work so I was excited to be able to order Pizza Hut. I just went there the other day for a birthday party and they had these amazing boneless parmesan wings, but Ryan doesn't like Pizza Hut, so yay for it snowing and I got to get what I wanted. They were so good....I ate a lot so I would make sure not to be too hungry past the cut off time, but I may have overdone it because I felt like crap for the rest of the night. So being hungry wasn't an issue at all, but as soon as I hit the time that I couldn't eat after, I wanted a glass of milk sooooo bad. I could drink water, but nothing else so of course I wanted what I couldn't have.
I went to bed pretty early since I had to get up early. I was a little hungry when I got up, but not too bad. I got to the lab at 8:30, they drew my blood and I had to drink that sugary drink. The one for the one hour test was orange flavored and it honestly wasn't too bad, just like an extra sugary orange pop. Not something I would choose to drink, but it wasn't horrible. The one for this test was twice as sugary and it was lemon-lime flavor. Yeah ok, if they say so. It was sooooo sugary it was pretty disgusting. It burned my tounge, it was pretty nasty.
So when I was done with that, they too me back to their breakroom to hunker down for the next three hours. I came prepared with my Nook and Netflix on my phone, but I didn't even up using either one because there was another woman there for the test and we ended up chatting the whole time. She was really nice, it's her first child as well, she is quite a bit younger than me and hers was a surprise. It was awesome having someone to talk to, we chatted about crazy pregnancy symptoms and how scared we are to give birth. So every hour we had to get our blood drawn again...that gets a little ouchy to have blood drawn from the same arm four times in one day. The time really flew by with having her to talk to. She lived close by so we exchanged numbers so we can keep in touch, it's really funny how you end up meeting people.
So after the test I got McDonalds on the way home, but honestly I was still only just a little hungry. So I am pleasently surprised how well it went. I expected to be bored out of my mind and dying from hunger pains.
My inlaws came over today. My FIL stayed here and watched TV (MH was sleeping since he worked last night, but they hung out together once he woke up) and my MIL and I went to get a pedicure. When we got back from that we tackled the nursery. For the last four years it has been our junk room and catch all. "What do we do with this"? "I don't know, throw it in the junk room". So we threw out some stuff, found a home for other stuff. I still have a little more to do like moving some clothes from that closet to another closet, moving books and photo albums to another bookshelf, etc. But we made great progress. The fact that you can now walk in there without falling on something and breaking a limb is huge.
My brother is taking the mattress and dresser that we have in there, hopefully next weekend. Once those are gone, I can vacuum and shampoo the carpet, then MH and and his dad can start working in there. With more room in there now, I was trying to picture it with baby furniture in there; it's not a huge room but I think it's going to be an adorable nursery when it's finished.
I had to stop eating last night at 8:30; my husband had to work so I was excited to be able to order Pizza Hut. I just went there the other day for a birthday party and they had these amazing boneless parmesan wings, but Ryan doesn't like Pizza Hut, so yay for it snowing and I got to get what I wanted. They were so good....I ate a lot so I would make sure not to be too hungry past the cut off time, but I may have overdone it because I felt like crap for the rest of the night. So being hungry wasn't an issue at all, but as soon as I hit the time that I couldn't eat after, I wanted a glass of milk sooooo bad. I could drink water, but nothing else so of course I wanted what I couldn't have.
I went to bed pretty early since I had to get up early. I was a little hungry when I got up, but not too bad. I got to the lab at 8:30, they drew my blood and I had to drink that sugary drink. The one for the one hour test was orange flavored and it honestly wasn't too bad, just like an extra sugary orange pop. Not something I would choose to drink, but it wasn't horrible. The one for this test was twice as sugary and it was lemon-lime flavor. Yeah ok, if they say so. It was sooooo sugary it was pretty disgusting. It burned my tounge, it was pretty nasty.
So when I was done with that, they too me back to their breakroom to hunker down for the next three hours. I came prepared with my Nook and Netflix on my phone, but I didn't even up using either one because there was another woman there for the test and we ended up chatting the whole time. She was really nice, it's her first child as well, she is quite a bit younger than me and hers was a surprise. It was awesome having someone to talk to, we chatted about crazy pregnancy symptoms and how scared we are to give birth. So every hour we had to get our blood drawn again...that gets a little ouchy to have blood drawn from the same arm four times in one day. The time really flew by with having her to talk to. She lived close by so we exchanged numbers so we can keep in touch, it's really funny how you end up meeting people.
So after the test I got McDonalds on the way home, but honestly I was still only just a little hungry. So I am pleasently surprised how well it went. I expected to be bored out of my mind and dying from hunger pains.
My inlaws came over today. My FIL stayed here and watched TV (MH was sleeping since he worked last night, but they hung out together once he woke up) and my MIL and I went to get a pedicure. When we got back from that we tackled the nursery. For the last four years it has been our junk room and catch all. "What do we do with this"? "I don't know, throw it in the junk room". So we threw out some stuff, found a home for other stuff. I still have a little more to do like moving some clothes from that closet to another closet, moving books and photo albums to another bookshelf, etc. But we made great progress. The fact that you can now walk in there without falling on something and breaking a limb is huge.
My brother is taking the mattress and dresser that we have in there, hopefully next weekend. Once those are gone, I can vacuum and shampoo the carpet, then MH and and his dad can start working in there. With more room in there now, I was trying to picture it with baby furniture in there; it's not a huge room but I think it's going to be an adorable nursery when it's finished.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Buying stuff- 13 wks 5 days
Geeze, I've gone all this time of not buying anything, and now just in the last three days I've bought three things. Not necessarily FOR the baby, but baby related stuff. The first purchase was a home doppler, it came yesterday and so far I really like it. Sometimes the heartbeat is hard to hear, but once you find it, it's really cool. And it was fairly inexpensive, $30....I thought we would have to pay at least $60 to get anything decent.
My next purchase was my snoggle....I'm so excited for that, I hope it helps me sleep better. I am mostly a tummy sleeper, and even though I am not showing yet, it feels weird to sleep on my tummy. And my back isn't hurting per se, but it's very knotty lately so anytime I change positions in the middle of the night, it wake me up because it's hard to move around. I got the mini snoogle since I am short, plus it will hopefully leave more room for my husband, lol.
Then today we ordered a heartbeat bear. It's very cool, I was thinking about getting it, but my husband really wanted it. They have all different animals, but we went with a chocolate brown bear, which should go well with whatever nursery decor we end up with. In its back is a velcro compartment with a recording device so we can record the baby's heartbeat. You can take it with you to a doctor appointment and record, but we'll probably use our home doppler since you can record with it.
We'll definitely save the baby's heartbeat on the computer, but I think once he or she is here, we'll use the bear to record my heartbeat. I am pretty sure I read once that it is soothing for a newborn to hear the mother's heartbeat still, so maybe on nights when he's extra fussy, the "bear's" heartbeat will help him sleep.
My next purchase was my snoggle....I'm so excited for that, I hope it helps me sleep better. I am mostly a tummy sleeper, and even though I am not showing yet, it feels weird to sleep on my tummy. And my back isn't hurting per se, but it's very knotty lately so anytime I change positions in the middle of the night, it wake me up because it's hard to move around. I got the mini snoogle since I am short, plus it will hopefully leave more room for my husband, lol.
Then today we ordered a heartbeat bear. It's very cool, I was thinking about getting it, but my husband really wanted it. They have all different animals, but we went with a chocolate brown bear, which should go well with whatever nursery decor we end up with. In its back is a velcro compartment with a recording device so we can record the baby's heartbeat. You can take it with you to a doctor appointment and record, but we'll probably use our home doppler since you can record with it.
We'll definitely save the baby's heartbeat on the computer, but I think once he or she is here, we'll use the bear to record my heartbeat. I am pretty sure I read once that it is soothing for a newborn to hear the mother's heartbeat still, so maybe on nights when he's extra fussy, the "bear's" heartbeat will help him sleep.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Up and down- 13 wks 3 days
Pregnancy truly is a rollercoast of emotions, good and bad. I was so content on Friday, hitting second tri and thinking my pgal brain had reduced drastically. So my husband I went out to dinner Friday night and I felt a little weird when we got home, so I went to the bathroom and sure enough, blood. I only had on a pantyliner so it went through my jeans as well. Aside from the panic of seeing blood, thank God it's never happaned at work so far. I would definitely go home.
So I somehow managed to stay fairly calm, I mean blood during pregnancy is never a welcomed sight, but being the third freaking time I've experienced it, it gets a little easier to swallow. Plus my husband is very good at calming me down, he was like this has happened before and everything has been fine, so just stay calm and don't worry about it.
So I went and laid down on the couch, aside from that first small gush of bright red, I had another small amount and then after that just light pink when I wiped. Aside from a few drops of light pink, that was it, nothing more after that. On Sunday I had a little brown spotting and some when I wiped, but that was just old stuff coming out. I think I would have been able to stay very calm this time had it not been for my cramps. Every time I spot I cramp a little, but this time my cramps were much more pronounced, so that was really freaking me out. I was afraid the cramps were a sign that I was going to start gushing blood at any moment.
So I went to bed somewhat early but there were really high winds that night, like crazy strong, it sounded like the house was going to blow over. So the erieness of the winds and the spotting just kind of freaked me out, like it was an omen or something. I also fell asleep and had a dream that I started bleeding more, but thankfully that didn't happen.
So on Saturday when the cramps were completely gone, I was feeling a lot better, but we went ahead and ordered a home doppler anyway. I hope it was a good purchase, it got good reviews and it was only $30. But I have a hard time distinguishing the baby's heartbeat from my own, but Ryan seems to think he is good at it so hopefully he can help point it out. I wasn't going to get one because I was worried that if I couldn't find it, it would freak me out even more. But on nights like Friday night, it would be really nice to get some instant reassurance.
So since the doctor said I could come in whenever to hear the heartbeat, I decided to take them up on it. Unfortunately though I couldn't go in until today since they are closed on the weekends. But it worked out well since I was off today for MLK, so I didn't have to take time off work. Ryan was going to go but he got called in to work this moring...I would have really liked for him to be able to go, but it turns out he didn't miss much. I was only there for like 5 minutes....it only took her about 10-15 seconds to find the heartbeat but it's amazing how quickly the bad thoughts started flying through my mind, thinking she wasn't going to find it.
So it was a productive visit to the hospital, got amazing reassurance that my baby is ok, I dropped off my "pee jug" that I had intended on taking in today anyway, but since I had to go to the hospital I just took it to that lab instead, and I bought more parking passes. Those are an amazing deal, I got 20 parking passes for $25, whereas full price for those would have been $60. The last time I bought 10 but with all the appointments, we burned through them pretty fast, espeically considered how when Ryan goes, we quite often have to drive seperate so I can go to work right after, so we have to use two parking passes just for that.
So on the way home I picked up Olga's for lunch, and then took an amazingly long nap with my kitty. So it turned out to be a very nice day.
So I somehow managed to stay fairly calm, I mean blood during pregnancy is never a welcomed sight, but being the third freaking time I've experienced it, it gets a little easier to swallow. Plus my husband is very good at calming me down, he was like this has happened before and everything has been fine, so just stay calm and don't worry about it.
So I went and laid down on the couch, aside from that first small gush of bright red, I had another small amount and then after that just light pink when I wiped. Aside from a few drops of light pink, that was it, nothing more after that. On Sunday I had a little brown spotting and some when I wiped, but that was just old stuff coming out. I think I would have been able to stay very calm this time had it not been for my cramps. Every time I spot I cramp a little, but this time my cramps were much more pronounced, so that was really freaking me out. I was afraid the cramps were a sign that I was going to start gushing blood at any moment.
So I went to bed somewhat early but there were really high winds that night, like crazy strong, it sounded like the house was going to blow over. So the erieness of the winds and the spotting just kind of freaked me out, like it was an omen or something. I also fell asleep and had a dream that I started bleeding more, but thankfully that didn't happen.
So on Saturday when the cramps were completely gone, I was feeling a lot better, but we went ahead and ordered a home doppler anyway. I hope it was a good purchase, it got good reviews and it was only $30. But I have a hard time distinguishing the baby's heartbeat from my own, but Ryan seems to think he is good at it so hopefully he can help point it out. I wasn't going to get one because I was worried that if I couldn't find it, it would freak me out even more. But on nights like Friday night, it would be really nice to get some instant reassurance.
So since the doctor said I could come in whenever to hear the heartbeat, I decided to take them up on it. Unfortunately though I couldn't go in until today since they are closed on the weekends. But it worked out well since I was off today for MLK, so I didn't have to take time off work. Ryan was going to go but he got called in to work this moring...I would have really liked for him to be able to go, but it turns out he didn't miss much. I was only there for like 5 minutes....it only took her about 10-15 seconds to find the heartbeat but it's amazing how quickly the bad thoughts started flying through my mind, thinking she wasn't going to find it.
So it was a productive visit to the hospital, got amazing reassurance that my baby is ok, I dropped off my "pee jug" that I had intended on taking in today anyway, but since I had to go to the hospital I just took it to that lab instead, and I bought more parking passes. Those are an amazing deal, I got 20 parking passes for $25, whereas full price for those would have been $60. The last time I bought 10 but with all the appointments, we burned through them pretty fast, espeically considered how when Ryan goes, we quite often have to drive seperate so I can go to work right after, so we have to use two parking passes just for that.
So on the way home I picked up Olga's for lunch, and then took an amazingly long nap with my kitty. So it turned out to be a very nice day.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Second Tri!!!!- 13 wks
I am officially in the second trimester, 13 weeks today! It's a good feeling. My pgal brain comes and goes, but it's definitely going more often than it's coming.
Next Saturday I have to go for a three hour glucose test. Ugh. So on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday I have to eat 150 carbs or more each day. The nurse said to eat a fast food meal each day, but I think I'll just try to eat like normal and just add to it if I need more carbs, since I am trying to eat better. I forsee three days of fast food putting me on a bad track again. Then Friday night I can't eat or drink anything except water from 8:30pm and on since my appt is at 8:30 am on Saturday.
So when I get to the lab, I have to drink this sugary drink, and I think get bloodwork done then, then wait an hour and more bloodwork, and so on for three + hours. The worst part is I have to stay there the entire time. Well, I don't know if it is worse, it's about 10-15 minutes to and from the lab, so if I went home I could only be home for half an hour and then go back again three times. That would suck more I think.
So I'll take my Nook, and I have netflix on my phone so I can watch TV. I don't think the time will be so bad since there will be like a countdown, I'll have to get up and get my blood drawn each hour so it's not like I will be sitting there waiting for that three hours to pass. But I am worried about the hunger. Since I'll have to stop eating at 8:30 the night before, I likely won't get to eat anything again until about noon that day. I am thinking I'll be hitting a drive thru on the way home.
So my effort to be healthier has begun. I worked out last night, I did the prenatal video that I just bought. I liked it, it wasn't horribly hard to do or anything but man am I sore today, so it was definitely working some muscles. I plan to work out every other day, so my next day to work out is tomorrow so I will either walk on the treadmill, or I'll go to the gym and do the treadmill and the bike. I can't do my bike at home right now, it's a spin bike....even on no resistance, the weight of the wheel is too much for me now. Even when I wasn't pregnant that thing killed me and I could only do about 5-10 minutes, but I am not even going to attempt it now.
I'm also back to using weight watchers. I have it set to lose weight, since the doctor said even losing right now would be ok for me. I just can't keep gaining at this speed. Last week the scale said I gained 3....knowing what I know about weight gain, I figured it was mostly water weight from eating bad, but couldn't possibly all be fat. Well, this week the scale says I gained ANOTHER 3 pounds. What!!!? I know I haven't been eating well, but I've never packed on weight this quickly. And the baby only weighs about 2 ounces so it isn't from that, even taking into consideration fluid and the placenta.....um yeah, it ain't all from being pregnant. So whatever it is from, there is no reason I can't work out for 40 minutes every other day.
In addition to not gaining too much weight, I will just feel better. They say women who have worked out steadily through out their pregnancy have an easier time with delivery and with post partum, so I need to do this. And I definitely need to eat better, baby doesn't need pizza and burgers, baby needs fruit and veggies.
However that being said, since Fridays are my cheat day, I enjoyed some Taco Bell today. Yesterday and today I kept craving bean dip, like the 7 layer kind that people bring to parties. So I checked Taco Bell and discovered the 7 layer burrito. Mmm, it was good. A bean dip with some tortilla chips would have been better, but since I wasn't about to go home and make one just for myself, the burrito did just fine. But I am still logging everything for today so I know how many of my weekly points I still have available.
Next Saturday I have to go for a three hour glucose test. Ugh. So on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday I have to eat 150 carbs or more each day. The nurse said to eat a fast food meal each day, but I think I'll just try to eat like normal and just add to it if I need more carbs, since I am trying to eat better. I forsee three days of fast food putting me on a bad track again. Then Friday night I can't eat or drink anything except water from 8:30pm and on since my appt is at 8:30 am on Saturday.
So when I get to the lab, I have to drink this sugary drink, and I think get bloodwork done then, then wait an hour and more bloodwork, and so on for three + hours. The worst part is I have to stay there the entire time. Well, I don't know if it is worse, it's about 10-15 minutes to and from the lab, so if I went home I could only be home for half an hour and then go back again three times. That would suck more I think.
So I'll take my Nook, and I have netflix on my phone so I can watch TV. I don't think the time will be so bad since there will be like a countdown, I'll have to get up and get my blood drawn each hour so it's not like I will be sitting there waiting for that three hours to pass. But I am worried about the hunger. Since I'll have to stop eating at 8:30 the night before, I likely won't get to eat anything again until about noon that day. I am thinking I'll be hitting a drive thru on the way home.
So my effort to be healthier has begun. I worked out last night, I did the prenatal video that I just bought. I liked it, it wasn't horribly hard to do or anything but man am I sore today, so it was definitely working some muscles. I plan to work out every other day, so my next day to work out is tomorrow so I will either walk on the treadmill, or I'll go to the gym and do the treadmill and the bike. I can't do my bike at home right now, it's a spin bike....even on no resistance, the weight of the wheel is too much for me now. Even when I wasn't pregnant that thing killed me and I could only do about 5-10 minutes, but I am not even going to attempt it now.
I'm also back to using weight watchers. I have it set to lose weight, since the doctor said even losing right now would be ok for me. I just can't keep gaining at this speed. Last week the scale said I gained 3....knowing what I know about weight gain, I figured it was mostly water weight from eating bad, but couldn't possibly all be fat. Well, this week the scale says I gained ANOTHER 3 pounds. What!!!? I know I haven't been eating well, but I've never packed on weight this quickly. And the baby only weighs about 2 ounces so it isn't from that, even taking into consideration fluid and the placenta.....um yeah, it ain't all from being pregnant. So whatever it is from, there is no reason I can't work out for 40 minutes every other day.
In addition to not gaining too much weight, I will just feel better. They say women who have worked out steadily through out their pregnancy have an easier time with delivery and with post partum, so I need to do this. And I definitely need to eat better, baby doesn't need pizza and burgers, baby needs fruit and veggies.
However that being said, since Fridays are my cheat day, I enjoyed some Taco Bell today. Yesterday and today I kept craving bean dip, like the 7 layer kind that people bring to parties. So I checked Taco Bell and discovered the 7 layer burrito. Mmm, it was good. A bean dip with some tortilla chips would have been better, but since I wasn't about to go home and make one just for myself, the burrito did just fine. But I am still logging everything for today so I know how many of my weekly points I still have available.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
First tri bloodwork 12 wks 6 days
We got our bloodwork back from our NT scan the other day, all normal! The chances of a chromosomal abnormality as far as this test goes is about 1 in 10,000. Whew! I wasn't exactly worried, but that moment the doctor calls with your results, there is a slight fleeting though of, what if? Especially because I am creeping up on that "advanced maternal age" category. I had to chuckle, and I do feel bad about this, but my brother's girlfriend will be 39 this year and while I don't think they are in a rush, they have not completely ruled out having kids at some point. She told us not long ago that if she were to get pregnant, her doctor said it would be classified as a geriatric pregnancy.
I mean, I know that is a technical medical term, but what is wrong with using advanced maternal age? Women who have babies later in life already feel like an old lady, why make them feel worse? Any woman pushing 35 knows that she is older and having a baby, but geriatric makes it sound like we're 70 year olds getting knocked up. So I guess by the time we try for number 2, if we try for number 2 I will be considered geriatric as well, lol.
I know my husband has always wanted two, and I have also, but at this point in the game all I can say if we'll have to wait and see. Maybe after B is born we'll decide we are happy and content and don't need to go down that road again....or we'll crave another baby and take the plunge. But right now I am open to both possibilities. There are pros and cons to both so it will be a decision made by our feelings at the time.
I always wanted at least two kids, I loved having a brother growing up and we're still very close. But there definitely are pros to an only child. Everyone I know with more than one kid always seem like they are losing their mind. The kids are running everywhere, the house is in constant chaos, the kids fight or they're just loud, etc. That scares the hell out of me. My brother and I are 4 years apart, so of course a 4 year old isn't an adult, but he was much more able to take care of himself a little bit when my mom was busy with me. He could probably be trusted to dress himself and entertain himself, and he could watch me for moments here and there when my mom had to leave the room.
But it seems more families today, the children are only seperated by 18 months or 2.5 years at the most. When your first kid is still essentially a baby when the second one comes along, that's a lot more work, especially if the older kid is still in diapers. I would LOVE to put 4 years between kids, but that would mean waiting until 37 to start trying for number 2...that seems scary. Even waiting until 36 to start sounds scary, but I don't think we would want to try any sooner than that. B will only be 9 months when I turn 35; I suppose if he or she is a crazy easy baby and we're feeling the bug already we could try that early, but ideally I would like to nurse for a year at least if it works out, so at 9 months I may not have even had a PP period again yet.
I know, I am over thinking it. We'll know what to do at the time, I just hope we're on the same page. So far we have been....we may not always see eye to eye on some things, but when it comes to being ready to get married, TTC, and ideas on how to raise our kids we are pretty well in sync, so hopefully if one of us wants another kid, the other will too and vice versa.
I mean, I know that is a technical medical term, but what is wrong with using advanced maternal age? Women who have babies later in life already feel like an old lady, why make them feel worse? Any woman pushing 35 knows that she is older and having a baby, but geriatric makes it sound like we're 70 year olds getting knocked up. So I guess by the time we try for number 2, if we try for number 2 I will be considered geriatric as well, lol.
I know my husband has always wanted two, and I have also, but at this point in the game all I can say if we'll have to wait and see. Maybe after B is born we'll decide we are happy and content and don't need to go down that road again....or we'll crave another baby and take the plunge. But right now I am open to both possibilities. There are pros and cons to both so it will be a decision made by our feelings at the time.
I always wanted at least two kids, I loved having a brother growing up and we're still very close. But there definitely are pros to an only child. Everyone I know with more than one kid always seem like they are losing their mind. The kids are running everywhere, the house is in constant chaos, the kids fight or they're just loud, etc. That scares the hell out of me. My brother and I are 4 years apart, so of course a 4 year old isn't an adult, but he was much more able to take care of himself a little bit when my mom was busy with me. He could probably be trusted to dress himself and entertain himself, and he could watch me for moments here and there when my mom had to leave the room.
But it seems more families today, the children are only seperated by 18 months or 2.5 years at the most. When your first kid is still essentially a baby when the second one comes along, that's a lot more work, especially if the older kid is still in diapers. I would LOVE to put 4 years between kids, but that would mean waiting until 37 to start trying for number 2...that seems scary. Even waiting until 36 to start sounds scary, but I don't think we would want to try any sooner than that. B will only be 9 months when I turn 35; I suppose if he or she is a crazy easy baby and we're feeling the bug already we could try that early, but ideally I would like to nurse for a year at least if it works out, so at 9 months I may not have even had a PP period again yet.
I know, I am over thinking it. We'll know what to do at the time, I just hope we're on the same page. So far we have been....we may not always see eye to eye on some things, but when it comes to being ready to get married, TTC, and ideas on how to raise our kids we are pretty well in sync, so hopefully if one of us wants another kid, the other will too and vice versa.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
just a funny observation- 12 wks 4 days
I just have to note this because I thought it was cool. I just noticed today on my bump ticker that we have been married for two years, two months, two weeks and two days. Crazy. I'll have to take note at about 5:22pm today so I can add two hours and two minutes to that mouthful.
Monday, January 14, 2013
NT Scan- 12 wks 3 days
Our NT scan went great today, I am glad we did it. We still have to wait about a week of course for the blood results to give us our odds of the trisomy disorders, but on the scan the fold measures 1.5, and the tech said anything under 3.0 was considered a good measurement. Before the ultrasound I stopped at the lab to do my 1 hour glucose test and they gave me this sugary drink. It wasn't half bad....so half an hour later when we did the ultrasound, the baby wouldn't stop wiggling around. He kept flipping and turning, he was high on sugar!
A couple times the tech had to thump me with the ultrasound wand to get the baby to cooperate. I could see the baby on the screen behind her, and Ryan was watching the screen she could see and he was like was it just sucking it's thumb? She said no, but it did wave hello :) So the scan didn't take long at all because she was able to get the measurements she needed quickly. She said it can take up to an hour depending on how uncooperative the baby is being. So it's good to know he or she isn't THAT stubborn. It was so cool to be able to actually see the baby's shape and see it moving all around like that.
So after that I met with another of the 4 doctors I will be rotating between, this is the one that delivered my best friend's son. I really liked her, she's very nice. I like her waaaay better than the last one I met with. So hopefully once I have met them all, I can schedule most of my appointments with this one and I am praying she is the one that delivers baby B.
This past weekend my brother and I went up north, my dad was already there. It was a short weekend but it was fun. We got there around 1 on Saturday, we hung out with my dad for a bit and since my dad is old and needed a nap, I decided to lay down on the couch and nap as well. Then we got ready to go to dinner and stopped to see my grandma on the way. So when we came in I gave her a hug and told her she has another great-grandkid on the way. She smiled and said oh? Dad told her it will be sometime at the end of July and she said well as long as it's not November. I guess there are a lot of November birthdays. Ha, so that is actually a good response from my grandma. She's isn't a hooping and hollering kinda lady, but I think she's happy for us.
I just wish my other grandma was here to tell. I know she would have had a great reaction, the same with my grandpa. They would have been so overjoyed to have another grandkid. But it makes me feel better to think that they are whooping it up in Heaven with my mom.
After dinner we stopped at my uncle's house. My dad always hangs with him when he is there, "shooting the shit" as they say. So we were there for a few minutes and my dad says, so I'm going to be a grandpa! I like letting my dad spread some of the news, because afterall, being a first time (or anytime) grandpa is a big deal. And to my knowledge he hasn't told anyone prior to that because he was nervous about telling too soon. So my uncle looks back and forth from me and my brother and I was like it's me. He seemed pretty excited, which is funny because I am not close to him at all, but I think any good news is really exciting to him now. About a month before my wedding he fell out of his tree blind and became paralyzed from the waist down. He still gets around pretty good, still hunts with the help of friends and family and goes out riding in his 4 wheeler. But there is no denying his life has changed dramatically and it must be awful not to get to do the things you used to it. So I would imagine any kind of good news and something to look forward to is exciting for him.
Plus despite a pretty big age gap, he and my dad are very close so I am sure he is thrilled for my dad. So he said when the kid is born, bring him by and he'll take him for a ride in his wheelchair, lol. He also told me not to name it anything stupid, and to hold off until his birthday on August 27th. Ha, I know there is a good chance I'll go into August, but I think the 27th is a bit out of the possibility. Besides my cousin's daughter was born on his birthday, so he's already got one. Her name is Laura but he calls his Edna (his name is Ed, lol).
The next morning we had breakfast with my grandma, and my uncle John, Aunt Kathy and my cousin Shawn, so my dad told all of them. It's so much fun to tell people, especially now that I am further along and feel better about things.
Today after the ultrasound I told a few friends at work, so between telling and the word spreading, a lot of people know. We also went public on facebook. It's so much fun to get all of the congratulations and well wishes. I am not a huge fan of attention, but it really is fun to bask in it for a little bit. So my doctor changed my due date to July 26th. I liked the 29th since it is the 6th anniversary of the day Ryan and I met, but of course a due date deosn't mean much, the kid could still be born on the 29th....or July 20, or August 5th, who knows. So that means instead of 11 weeks 6 days, I am now 12 weeks 3 days. That's so weird to go from being 11 weeks and change to being 13 weeks this Friday. I'll have to update my book when I get home. Today was such a great day, all Mondays should be exciting like this.
A couple times the tech had to thump me with the ultrasound wand to get the baby to cooperate. I could see the baby on the screen behind her, and Ryan was watching the screen she could see and he was like was it just sucking it's thumb? She said no, but it did wave hello :) So the scan didn't take long at all because she was able to get the measurements she needed quickly. She said it can take up to an hour depending on how uncooperative the baby is being. So it's good to know he or she isn't THAT stubborn. It was so cool to be able to actually see the baby's shape and see it moving all around like that.
So after that I met with another of the 4 doctors I will be rotating between, this is the one that delivered my best friend's son. I really liked her, she's very nice. I like her waaaay better than the last one I met with. So hopefully once I have met them all, I can schedule most of my appointments with this one and I am praying she is the one that delivers baby B.
This past weekend my brother and I went up north, my dad was already there. It was a short weekend but it was fun. We got there around 1 on Saturday, we hung out with my dad for a bit and since my dad is old and needed a nap, I decided to lay down on the couch and nap as well. Then we got ready to go to dinner and stopped to see my grandma on the way. So when we came in I gave her a hug and told her she has another great-grandkid on the way. She smiled and said oh? Dad told her it will be sometime at the end of July and she said well as long as it's not November. I guess there are a lot of November birthdays. Ha, so that is actually a good response from my grandma. She's isn't a hooping and hollering kinda lady, but I think she's happy for us.
I just wish my other grandma was here to tell. I know she would have had a great reaction, the same with my grandpa. They would have been so overjoyed to have another grandkid. But it makes me feel better to think that they are whooping it up in Heaven with my mom.
After dinner we stopped at my uncle's house. My dad always hangs with him when he is there, "shooting the shit" as they say. So we were there for a few minutes and my dad says, so I'm going to be a grandpa! I like letting my dad spread some of the news, because afterall, being a first time (or anytime) grandpa is a big deal. And to my knowledge he hasn't told anyone prior to that because he was nervous about telling too soon. So my uncle looks back and forth from me and my brother and I was like it's me. He seemed pretty excited, which is funny because I am not close to him at all, but I think any good news is really exciting to him now. About a month before my wedding he fell out of his tree blind and became paralyzed from the waist down. He still gets around pretty good, still hunts with the help of friends and family and goes out riding in his 4 wheeler. But there is no denying his life has changed dramatically and it must be awful not to get to do the things you used to it. So I would imagine any kind of good news and something to look forward to is exciting for him.
Plus despite a pretty big age gap, he and my dad are very close so I am sure he is thrilled for my dad. So he said when the kid is born, bring him by and he'll take him for a ride in his wheelchair, lol. He also told me not to name it anything stupid, and to hold off until his birthday on August 27th. Ha, I know there is a good chance I'll go into August, but I think the 27th is a bit out of the possibility. Besides my cousin's daughter was born on his birthday, so he's already got one. Her name is Laura but he calls his Edna (his name is Ed, lol).
The next morning we had breakfast with my grandma, and my uncle John, Aunt Kathy and my cousin Shawn, so my dad told all of them. It's so much fun to tell people, especially now that I am further along and feel better about things.
Today after the ultrasound I told a few friends at work, so between telling and the word spreading, a lot of people know. We also went public on facebook. It's so much fun to get all of the congratulations and well wishes. I am not a huge fan of attention, but it really is fun to bask in it for a little bit. So my doctor changed my due date to July 26th. I liked the 29th since it is the 6th anniversary of the day Ryan and I met, but of course a due date deosn't mean much, the kid could still be born on the 29th....or July 20, or August 5th, who knows. So that means instead of 11 weeks 6 days, I am now 12 weeks 3 days. That's so weird to go from being 11 weeks and change to being 13 weeks this Friday. I'll have to update my book when I get home. Today was such a great day, all Mondays should be exciting like this.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
I feel ugly!- 11 wks 1 day
I told my boss my big news today. I was really nervous because he is a new boss, only for like a week now. Aside from hellos and goodbyes in passing, this is really the first one on one conversation I've had with him. I was afraid he would see it as bad news, like oh crap she is my new employee and now I have to figure out how to cover her job for three months. But he didn't even ask when my due date is, and he seemed really excited for me and said it's fantastic news. He also sounds very cool about getting me time off for doctor appointments and making sure I "get the care I need", his words.
He also said he is pretty laid back and even somewhat of a pushover. His main concern is that people show up for work and do their work....he said he doesn't care if you're doing it from the moon, as long as it gets done. So he may be a very cool boss afterall, I wasn't sure at first. So I asked him to keep quiet for another week, I want to have my NT scan before I announce to everyone else.
So I'd really like to know who this person is that says pregnant women are glowing and beautiful, because I don't feel glowing or beautiful. My face is full of zits, I have not one, not two but three just on my nose alone. I am in need of a dye job but I am not sure if it's ok...I don't know if the issue is the fumes or the chemicals or a combination, but I'll have to ask my doctor. So my hair is this blah color right now, and since I cannot take my biotin, it is also stringy and straw-like. I suspect hormones are also taking a toll on it. I have gained weight, not because of the baby but because for a few weeks I had an appetite that would not quit, but also because I have fallen into the trap of thinking "I'm pregnant, I can eat what I want". Well no, I don't think that way, but I am behaving that way. So I just feel ugly and fat....oh and the glowing, that is sweat? I am always hot.
I actually woke up cold this morning for once, so I took a steaming hot shower and jumped into my robe the second I got out, but neverfear, the oven syndrome returned shortly after and I couldn't get the robe off fast enough. I am currently sitting here at work with the fan blowing on me. But, in an effort to feel a little better, my husband and I are planning to go to the gym after work. I'm hoping we can make this an every-other-night thing and maybe working out will help me to not gain anymore unnecessary weight and just make me feel all around better about myself.
And, I am 11 weeks today! I love Tuesdays :)
He also said he is pretty laid back and even somewhat of a pushover. His main concern is that people show up for work and do their work....he said he doesn't care if you're doing it from the moon, as long as it gets done. So he may be a very cool boss afterall, I wasn't sure at first. So I asked him to keep quiet for another week, I want to have my NT scan before I announce to everyone else.
So I'd really like to know who this person is that says pregnant women are glowing and beautiful, because I don't feel glowing or beautiful. My face is full of zits, I have not one, not two but three just on my nose alone. I am in need of a dye job but I am not sure if it's ok...I don't know if the issue is the fumes or the chemicals or a combination, but I'll have to ask my doctor. So my hair is this blah color right now, and since I cannot take my biotin, it is also stringy and straw-like. I suspect hormones are also taking a toll on it. I have gained weight, not because of the baby but because for a few weeks I had an appetite that would not quit, but also because I have fallen into the trap of thinking "I'm pregnant, I can eat what I want". Well no, I don't think that way, but I am behaving that way. So I just feel ugly and fat....oh and the glowing, that is sweat? I am always hot.
I actually woke up cold this morning for once, so I took a steaming hot shower and jumped into my robe the second I got out, but neverfear, the oven syndrome returned shortly after and I couldn't get the robe off fast enough. I am currently sitting here at work with the fan blowing on me. But, in an effort to feel a little better, my husband and I are planning to go to the gym after work. I'm hoping we can make this an every-other-night thing and maybe working out will help me to not gain anymore unnecessary weight and just make me feel all around better about myself.
And, I am 11 weeks today! I love Tuesdays :)
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Feeling better- 10 wks 6 days
So I haven't had any spotting since the day after I went to the doctor. It was very mininal, it was just a small small amount on the pad but it was kind of pinkish brown and there was a little colored cm looking stuff when I wiped, but I think that was just the blood that she could see left over on the cervix.
I can feel my paranoia lessening a little bit, which is wonderful. I hate being so scared all the time. Speaking of being scared, my husband and I had agreed not to do the NT scan because we didn't want the extra worry of possibly finding out our baby had an increased risk for downs...we just didn't see the point of a test that would make you worry, but not actually provide much information as to whether or not he or she does have it. But since the spotting, I just really want to make sure everything is ok with the baby so I want to have it now.
I was nervous to bring it up to him because we both felt pretty strongly against having it. In fact if I hadn't had the spotting I still wouldn't want to have it. So finally I told him tonight that I still want to have it since the spotting and he just nodded and said ok. Ha, I have no idea why I was worried, it was no big deal. In fact he is going to go with me as long as he doesn't have to work. And his face lit up and said, will we get pictures?
So we went to my grandparents house today and got a few more things that we wanted to get. My aunt and uncle were there to help us and they were telling us everything they've done in the house in the last few months. So they sounded really tired and kind of beat down, it's just been a lot of work for them since they go there pretty much everyday to pack stuff up. So I was like do you want to hear some good news? I'm pregnant! My aunt screeched and started jumping up and down and clapping. It's so much fun to have tell people who react like that. So she gave me a hug and she was still jumping and she was like oh sorry cause she was like shaking me all over the place.
She was like oh this is so exciting, I'm so happy for you guys. I've had my ups and downs with that aunt and uncle over the years, not like fighting with them but just my opinions of them and things I didn't agree with, and especially some of the things they did surrounding my grandparents funerals. But it was really good to see them today and it was so much fun to tell them. I know they were genuinely happy for us and I was glad I could tell them something that brightened their day a little. She was like oh I can't wait to tell Lynn and Rob (my cousins). We were there for a couple of hours and she kept telling me to get off my feet, and come in from the cold, it was pretty funny. I am only almost 11 weeks, not about to pop.
My uncle found a little wicker rocking chair that was my mom's when she was little, so I took it. It will go perfect in the nursery. It's pretty old and dusty, but I think if I blow off the dust with the air compressor and maybe touch it up with some spray stain it should look really nice. And I plan on having dark brown furniture in the nursery so it should match pretty good since it's brown wicker. I love having something of my mom's to incorporate in the nursery.
I can feel my paranoia lessening a little bit, which is wonderful. I hate being so scared all the time. Speaking of being scared, my husband and I had agreed not to do the NT scan because we didn't want the extra worry of possibly finding out our baby had an increased risk for downs...we just didn't see the point of a test that would make you worry, but not actually provide much information as to whether or not he or she does have it. But since the spotting, I just really want to make sure everything is ok with the baby so I want to have it now.
I was nervous to bring it up to him because we both felt pretty strongly against having it. In fact if I hadn't had the spotting I still wouldn't want to have it. So finally I told him tonight that I still want to have it since the spotting and he just nodded and said ok. Ha, I have no idea why I was worried, it was no big deal. In fact he is going to go with me as long as he doesn't have to work. And his face lit up and said, will we get pictures?
So we went to my grandparents house today and got a few more things that we wanted to get. My aunt and uncle were there to help us and they were telling us everything they've done in the house in the last few months. So they sounded really tired and kind of beat down, it's just been a lot of work for them since they go there pretty much everyday to pack stuff up. So I was like do you want to hear some good news? I'm pregnant! My aunt screeched and started jumping up and down and clapping. It's so much fun to have tell people who react like that. So she gave me a hug and she was still jumping and she was like oh sorry cause she was like shaking me all over the place.
She was like oh this is so exciting, I'm so happy for you guys. I've had my ups and downs with that aunt and uncle over the years, not like fighting with them but just my opinions of them and things I didn't agree with, and especially some of the things they did surrounding my grandparents funerals. But it was really good to see them today and it was so much fun to tell them. I know they were genuinely happy for us and I was glad I could tell them something that brightened their day a little. She was like oh I can't wait to tell Lynn and Rob (my cousins). We were there for a couple of hours and she kept telling me to get off my feet, and come in from the cold, it was pretty funny. I am only almost 11 weeks, not about to pop.
My uncle found a little wicker rocking chair that was my mom's when she was little, so I took it. It will go perfect in the nursery. It's pretty old and dusty, but I think if I blow off the dust with the air compressor and maybe touch it up with some spray stain it should look really nice. And I plan on having dark brown furniture in the nursery so it should match pretty good since it's brown wicker. I love having something of my mom's to incorporate in the nursery.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Heartbeat- 10 wks 2 days
I had another huge scare last night. I was watching TV and felt a little crampy, but not even as intense as they had been in the past, but I did my paranoid check anyway and there was bright red blood. Not a lot, but the color freaked me out. I went to the bathroom and immediately the water in the toilet turned all red, and THAT freaked me out. I immediately thought I was losing it, it just seemed like way too much blood. In retrospect it probably wasn't that much...so I freaked out and went to bed, putting my feet up. When I put my progesterone in there was blood on the stick unlike last time when the bleeding seemed to be just two drops and then nothing. This was still just spotting, but more spotting than last time.
So I somehow slept on and off, but I kept having dreams that I was going to lose it and would have to unannounce to the people we have already told. I got up at 7 to call off work and the spotting was still very minimal, but now when I used the bathroom the water was just brownish and there was just light pink when I wiped. I called the doctor and they could only get me in an hour earlier which was 2:30 instead of 3:30 but any minute earlier helped. So I went back to bed and showered later and then we went. I was so happy my husband was home and could go with me.
So when I got there the nurse already knew I had had bleeding since I had told the receptionist when I called. Maybe that doesn't seem like a big deal, but I am using to family doctor who ask why you're coming in when you call for an appt, then the nurse asks and then the doctor asks, so I like that everyone already knows the issue there when you walk in. She took my blood pressure and she said well, at least your body seems to be good at handling stress because my BP was good.
I had to do a mid stream urine collection, which was fun. I really had to go and didn't realize I had filled the cup and then some....there is a little thingie on top of the cup, like a funnel so I had peed all the way up to the top of the funnel, so then the pee was running over the edges and onto my pants and the floor. Ugh....luckily I had drank a lot of water so it was more like spilling water on myself. The nurse said just in that sample there was no protein, unlike in my 24 hour urine collection, so I feel pretty confident the protein was from my bladder infection meds, but they still want me to repeat that one.
So then the nurse used the doppler...she said I am just at the stage where they could even begin to get a heartbeat on the doppler, so she said if she couldn't find one, don't freak out. Despite that, I was still a little nervous when she couldn't find it for the first 30 seconds or so, but then I started to hear what I thought was the hb, and she found a good spot to just stop on and the hb was loud and clear, 168 bpm. Thank God! That was such an amazing sound. I was really happy that Ryan got to hear it too, he said it was cool and he was smiling when I looked at him.
So then the OB came in....she was nice and I liked her I guess, but she is one of those people that makes constant eye contact and even when I was done talking she would just sit there and stare at me. So I kept looking to Ryan, do you have any questions? He didn't, so I'd say ok sounds good, and she just kept staring at me. I hate people like that. Take a social clue, when I say ok, I think that was all my questions, understand that I am done talking and you need to either say something or look away or something, ugh. I'll meet with all four doctors on a rotating basis but I'll have her for the next few appointments, great.
So she did an exam and looked at my cervix....ugh that was not fun, I swear the speculum is the most uncomfortable thing ever invented. Couldn't they have found a way to make it more comfortable by now? She said she could see the blood on the cervix but couldn't really say why I had bled. I still haven't had any more bleeding, so I can only assume the blood she saw was just what was left over. She she swabbed some off with a giant q-tip, so I'll have to remember not to get freaked out if I have brown spotting in the next few days. If that blood is still there on the cervix, it will likely eventually come out and by then it should be brown. But brown is much less scary than red.
She said my cervix is closed, so that's good, but again she couldn't say why I was bleeding. So I feel a lot better, knowing my cervix is closed and the heartbeat was strong was very reassuring, but I wish I knew why I was bleeding. However since she didn't do anymore testing or anything I hope that means she isn't too worried about it. I asked about the NT scan, she did say it is not mandatory, but she said it is more than just finding (or not finding) evidence of downs and other chromosomal abnormalities, but they use it for other things to help determine care through out the pregnancy like a possible heart defect. So I think I will have it....if nothing else, it would be really reassuring to see that the baby is doing ok after this bleeding scare. I really can't imagine going 8 more weeks before my anatomy scan to get reassurance again. Oh and they also said anytime I have a scare or something I can come in and have the doppler done to get reassurance from the HB, and there is no office visit charge for that. That's good to know.
She asked if I wanted a doctor's note for the rest of the week for work, I took it but as long as I don't have any more bleeding I'll go to work tomorrow and Friday. It sounds very tempting, but I have very little sick and vacation time right now and already I'm taking time off for appointments. I have no idea what could happen further down the road, if I took the next day or two off and then came down with a really bad sickness or something in a few months, I would so regret not going for the rest of this week.
Today I had the panicked thought that I just cannot take this stress for the rest of the pregnancy, but I have to remember that I am not scared all the time. In fact up until last night I was finally starting to feel pretty confident about this pregnancy. So hopefully in a few more days I'll relax again some more and feel better. Plus just a few more weeks and I'll be in second tri and your chances of a healthy pregnancy increase substantially.
So I somehow slept on and off, but I kept having dreams that I was going to lose it and would have to unannounce to the people we have already told. I got up at 7 to call off work and the spotting was still very minimal, but now when I used the bathroom the water was just brownish and there was just light pink when I wiped. I called the doctor and they could only get me in an hour earlier which was 2:30 instead of 3:30 but any minute earlier helped. So I went back to bed and showered later and then we went. I was so happy my husband was home and could go with me.
So when I got there the nurse already knew I had had bleeding since I had told the receptionist when I called. Maybe that doesn't seem like a big deal, but I am using to family doctor who ask why you're coming in when you call for an appt, then the nurse asks and then the doctor asks, so I like that everyone already knows the issue there when you walk in. She took my blood pressure and she said well, at least your body seems to be good at handling stress because my BP was good.
I had to do a mid stream urine collection, which was fun. I really had to go and didn't realize I had filled the cup and then some....there is a little thingie on top of the cup, like a funnel so I had peed all the way up to the top of the funnel, so then the pee was running over the edges and onto my pants and the floor. Ugh....luckily I had drank a lot of water so it was more like spilling water on myself. The nurse said just in that sample there was no protein, unlike in my 24 hour urine collection, so I feel pretty confident the protein was from my bladder infection meds, but they still want me to repeat that one.
So then the nurse used the doppler...she said I am just at the stage where they could even begin to get a heartbeat on the doppler, so she said if she couldn't find one, don't freak out. Despite that, I was still a little nervous when she couldn't find it for the first 30 seconds or so, but then I started to hear what I thought was the hb, and she found a good spot to just stop on and the hb was loud and clear, 168 bpm. Thank God! That was such an amazing sound. I was really happy that Ryan got to hear it too, he said it was cool and he was smiling when I looked at him.
So then the OB came in....she was nice and I liked her I guess, but she is one of those people that makes constant eye contact and even when I was done talking she would just sit there and stare at me. So I kept looking to Ryan, do you have any questions? He didn't, so I'd say ok sounds good, and she just kept staring at me. I hate people like that. Take a social clue, when I say ok, I think that was all my questions, understand that I am done talking and you need to either say something or look away or something, ugh. I'll meet with all four doctors on a rotating basis but I'll have her for the next few appointments, great.
So she did an exam and looked at my cervix....ugh that was not fun, I swear the speculum is the most uncomfortable thing ever invented. Couldn't they have found a way to make it more comfortable by now? She said she could see the blood on the cervix but couldn't really say why I had bled. I still haven't had any more bleeding, so I can only assume the blood she saw was just what was left over. She she swabbed some off with a giant q-tip, so I'll have to remember not to get freaked out if I have brown spotting in the next few days. If that blood is still there on the cervix, it will likely eventually come out and by then it should be brown. But brown is much less scary than red.
She said my cervix is closed, so that's good, but again she couldn't say why I was bleeding. So I feel a lot better, knowing my cervix is closed and the heartbeat was strong was very reassuring, but I wish I knew why I was bleeding. However since she didn't do anymore testing or anything I hope that means she isn't too worried about it. I asked about the NT scan, she did say it is not mandatory, but she said it is more than just finding (or not finding) evidence of downs and other chromosomal abnormalities, but they use it for other things to help determine care through out the pregnancy like a possible heart defect. So I think I will have it....if nothing else, it would be really reassuring to see that the baby is doing ok after this bleeding scare. I really can't imagine going 8 more weeks before my anatomy scan to get reassurance again. Oh and they also said anytime I have a scare or something I can come in and have the doppler done to get reassurance from the HB, and there is no office visit charge for that. That's good to know.
She asked if I wanted a doctor's note for the rest of the week for work, I took it but as long as I don't have any more bleeding I'll go to work tomorrow and Friday. It sounds very tempting, but I have very little sick and vacation time right now and already I'm taking time off for appointments. I have no idea what could happen further down the road, if I took the next day or two off and then came down with a really bad sickness or something in a few months, I would so regret not going for the rest of this week.
Today I had the panicked thought that I just cannot take this stress for the rest of the pregnancy, but I have to remember that I am not scared all the time. In fact up until last night I was finally starting to feel pretty confident about this pregnancy. So hopefully in a few more days I'll relax again some more and feel better. Plus just a few more weeks and I'll be in second tri and your chances of a healthy pregnancy increase substantially.
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