My body is working!

I got my period today!  I was so surprised...I had been cramping a little, but that doesn't always mean anything, I can cramp on and off for weeks and nothing, but to my delight I started spotting yesterday and today is CD1.  Of course that's not to say my body will continue to work, but I'll take anything positive I can get and a period 6 weeks postpartum is pretty good in my book.

I have no idea when I Od.  I've been temping for the last few weeks and FF says I Od on Friday but that's of course not right because there is no way I have a 5 day luteal phase.  I can't detect anywhere else on my chart that could have been it, so maybe it happaned just before I started temping again.  I remember having a lot of sharp pains off an on for a couple days a few weeks ago.  That was probably it but I can't remember how long ago that was.  But I would say I probably Od for sure....before I got pregnant with Kayla I went an entire year without Oing and no period, so it doesn't seem too likely that this is just a withdrawl bleed after an anovulatory cycle.

Sometimes I get very angry that both my friend and I had these losses.  In addition to the obvious reasons, I am just blown away by the odds of that happening.  First tri losses are sadly very common, but the chances of a loss in the second tri are considerably less and less the further you get.  She and I hoped and prayed, and even got pregnant very close together.  We were each other's cheerleader, supporting the other through pgal brain and nerves over appointments.  We'd each had early losses, but we were both confident (despite our fears) that these were our rainbow babies.  And then the odds were not in her favor and I was so sad and angry for her, and then I experienced my loss as well.  The fact that one of us lost our babies was mindblowing....I thought after our struggles with infertility and our first loss, no way would the universe crap on either one of us again, but it ended up crapping on us both.

But it makes me feel better to look at it a different way.  Rather than both of us in this friendship having suffered and gone against what were odds in our favor, maybe we were brought together to be each other's strengths.  Maybe our friendship was formed so we could be there for each other when we both went through our own hell.  I am so sad for us that it happened, but I am so thankful to have someone who understands what I am feeling.  Maybe Kayla and Bootsie are best friends in Heaven.