Thursday, November 14, 2013

One year ago- 22 wks

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts regarding my upcoming loss milestone.  I am doing ok...a little anxious from time to time, but my amazing doctors have been lifesavers.  I truly believe in less capable hands, by now I would have either been experiencing my third loss, or at the very least be insane with worry and anxiety.  My weekly appointments have given me so much reassurance, and I feel a lot of hope.

Now onto a bit of a sad anniversary....it was one year ago today that I took a pregnancy test and it told me my little girl was on her way.  I cannot believe it's been a year already.  Even more scary than that, in just 4.5 short months, when Boo arrives, it will have been a year since we lost Kayla.  It will be bittersweet.  I was so happy to see those two pink lines....I even sat on the news for a couple hours because I just couldn't believe it.  Finally when I looked at the tests and could see the lines without crossing my eyes, I decided to tell my husband.  I left a note that said second time's a charm?  and some U of M baby booties on the table for him to find.  As it turns out, the second time wasn't a charm, and those booties were buried with our sweet little girl.  But I will never regret any of it.  Despite all of the pain and heartache, Kayla was and will always be the best part of my life in her short time with us, and I cannot wait to see her and hold her again one day.

Ok, now that I am crying at my desk at 9am, let's talk about some good news.  Upon returning from maternity leave last spring, I got an email saying that our usual 12 weeks off was being reduced to 6 weeks.  This upset me greatly....since I will be a working mother, I'll get precious little time with my baby as it is.  My dad gets to be the one to spend all day with her, and probably see her first steps and hear her first words...I'll get the little time in the evenings before I feed and bathe her and put her to bed.  I am grateful for my dad, and I trust him completely, but the idea of leaving Boo at just 6 weeks and going back to work was horrible, though I was thankful to have something as I know some people don't get any paid time off.

If all went well and I didn't need bed rest, meaning I would get my full 6 weeks once Boo is here, I was still hoping to take the 12, but of course I would only be paid for 6.  But I got a newsletter today about the proposed change to maternity leave, and the announcement that it has been decided that the company will keep the paid bonding time, above what is medically necessary upon giving birth.  I do not know the details because the link won't open, but I am assuming that means they're going back to the old plan where I would get 12 weeks off at 90% pay.

This makes me sooooo happy.  So if I were to go on leave around Boo's due date at the end of March, I'll be off work until about mid-June.  That's so awesome....the six weeks I had after Kayla went pretty fast, and that was spend mostly sleeping and laying around the house.  I cannot even imagine how quick six weeks would go by being sleep deprived and trying to adjust to a newborn baby.  I'll update when I know the details.

Update:
So I got the details on the change to maternity leave.  They did reinstate the bonding time, so now I would be eligible for 12 weeks instead of 6.  However it all depends on when I go on leave.  Because I just took leave last March, I'll have to go on leave next year after I went this year in order to get new time.  So if I go on March 24 or sooner, I get 6 weeks paid, but if I go March 25th or after I get 12 weeks paid; my due date is March 22.  So needless to say I'm hoping she comes a little late.  I'm taking 12 weeks regardless, but when I go into labor will depend on if I get paid for 6 or 12.  Of course it would be great if I got paid for the whole thing, but if not we'll just have to take it out of savings.  I'm just glad I have the job protection for that whole time, that was what I was most worried about.  So she'll come when she comes, and whatever happens happens.

On another note, I was going to go maternity coat shopping on Sunday.  I hate to buy a new coat for just one year, but I cannot zip or button any of my current coats and it's gotten really cold outside.  I thought I could deal since I'm always so hot, but not so much, it's freaking cold.  I picked up my inlaws from the airport tonight and then came in to visit for a while and I mentioned needing a coat.  So my MIL whips out this adorable coat and it is big enough for now with some room to grow.  Then she starts going through the closet and gets me a scarf which was really cute as well, and gloves, lol.  So now my Sunday afternoon is open and I didn't spend a dime!  

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