Sleep- 28 wks 3 days

They should rename third trimester to, "can't sleep for shit".  I spent most of yesterday at my brother's open house type gathering, so when I got home I was exhausted.  'Cause ya know, just being upright and breathing is exhausting these days, so I slept on the couch for a couple of hours in the evening.  So I didn't go to bed until about 2am, I wasn't super sleepy because of my nap and I couldn't get comfortable.

I am lucky that even up until just a week or so ago I was still sleeping fairly well.  Yeah I woke up everytime I rolled over, or got up to pee, but when I was in bed I was asleep and quite comfortable.  Last night, nothing got me there.  I laid there for a while before I even fell asleep, and everytime I rolled over it was apparent how uncomfortable I was.  Even when I got up to pee early this morning, coming back to bed just wasn't comfortable.  Uusually my bed somehow gets 100% more comfortable in the morning when you're supposed to get up, but not today.

So because I am not sleeping well, I want to sleep longer because I'm so tired.  Yesterday I got up around 10:30 and today it was 11:30.  Blah.  I don't like sleeping my day away.  When I was single, it was a pretty regular thing for me to sleep in till noon, 1 or even 2pm...I could sleep in like a champ!  But Ryan has always been a pretty early riser, and in the last several years I've seen the merit in getting up earlier.  I don't hate my job, I just hate going.  If I could wake up feeling rested, and snap my fingers and be there without dealing with traffic every day, I'd be quite happy.  But I cannot, so I cherish my weekends when I don't have to do any of that crap.

So I of course want my weekend to last as long as possible.  Getting up at 8:30 or 9 is ideal for me, you can sleep in a little bit but it's still early enough to enjoy most of your day.  But lately that just isn't happening.  We've been really busy at work with year-end stuff and my boss asked me on Friday if I wanted to come in this weekend.  No I don't want to come in this weekend, I'm pregnant, tired, and grumpy, you're lucky I come in when I have to let alone on the weekend.

He said depending on work load, we may have 10 hours of mandatory overtime this coming week.  Great, we're off Wednesday for New Year's Day and Thursday I am leaving at 3 for a doctor appointment, so I have to squeeze working 10 extra hours into a week where I am only working 30 instead of 40....not to mention the fact that it won't be time and a half, just extra straight time.  You have to already work 40 hours to get anything extra at time and a half, and it seems the only time I ever get an opportunity to get overtime are on holiday weeks when it won't actually be paid as time and a half.  And here's a thought, maybe you guys shouldn't have let my counterpart have almost the entire week of Christmas off.  Maybe then we wouldn't be as behind as we are.  I'm not a happy camper at work right now....maybe if we try for another baby in the future, we can plan it so that I'm on maternity leave for this time of year, hahaa.

So yesterday my dad and I were talking to my future SILs mother, and since I am visibly pregnant and I am sure they all know of my journey, of losing Kayla and being pregnant again....my pregnancy was kind of the talk of the day.  Especially when meeting new people, what better thing to ask about then the fact that I have an obvious baby bump.  We somehow started taking about grandchildren and my dad mentioned that he's just now getting his first where as his brother has 8 already.  Ugh, hearing him say that kind of felt like taking a bullet.  Boo isn't his first grandchild, Kayla is. 

I wanted to correct him, but I was taken off guard and we were surrounded by new people....I'm hoping it was just an in the moment faux pas.  Despite my dad being very social, it can still be a little nervewracking meeting a whole room full of new people and maybe the words came out before he could stop them.  It's not like he never talks about Kayla, he's come to events for her, and he made her that little Christmas tree.  A couple months ago he said he stopped by the cemetery to visit his granddaughter....so he must know she is his first and the slip just happened.

So far it hasn't really come up, anyone whose asked me if this baby is my first, I've somehow mentioned that we have lost two prior....but I am sure there will come a day when I slip and am uncomfortable and say yes, Boo is my first.  That doesn't mean I don't acknowledge Kayla as my first child, so I shouldn't get too down on my dad for what he said.  But I have to say, in that moment it did hurt.