I was ok up until about today, but the testing temptation has really set in. Today is 9DPO, so it's early, but not crazy early. I've seen plenty of people get BFPs at 9DPO. But I'm not really worried about testing and getting a BFN this early, I'm more worried about getting a BFP this early.
I know you're never really safe, but I'm really scared to test earlier than when I plan, which is 13DPO. If I were to get a BFP say, tomorrow, I'd be really hesitant to tell MH this early. I mean yeah I could stress to him that it's super early and we need to be cautiously happy until we're much further along but I would still feel really bad about getting his hopes up. However on the flip side, I think I would want to know if I had another CP, especially now that I am seeing an RE. I know they are sadly very common and so many women have had at least 1, and I know they don't really consider it a medical issue until you've had at 3, but you won't know when you've had 3 if you didn't know about the second one. I would want as much information, good and bad, as possible.
My other issue is I really don't want to test on a weekday. MH leaves for work before I even get out of bed, so if I tested and got a BFP I'd have to agonize through the whole day before I could tell him and of course it's kind of crappy to tell anyone else before I tell him. Ugh, decisions decisions. I've decided to bypass testing on Saturday altogether. I know it's silly and supersticious but I got my last BFP on a Saturday (actually two weeks from this Saturday it will be a year since then) so I'm just way too nervous to test on a Saturday again. So I guess if I can hold out I will do it Sunday, but if I absolutely cannot wait, I'll do it Friday and just suffer through the day if it's a BFP and I cannot tell MH until the evening. I guess it could be worse, some women's H's are out of town when they get their BFP and they have to wait days to tell him or anyone else.
My chart is looking good....I had a pretty decent dip on 6DPO, then 7, 8, and 9 have steadily increased in temps, so I am really praying that the dip was an implantation dip and temps will continue to rise. The cramps are still here and sometimes getting worse. In fact earlier I went to the bathroom to make sure I hadn't started, but there was nothing, not even spotting. The cramps makes sense....I mean if I do end up pregnant, the uterus has to undergo a lot of changes. Implantation must cause some cramps and the uterus is probably stretching and going through some other changes. Besides, I've had the cramps since about 1 or 2DPO, that's awfully early for period cramps to set it. Normally when my period is coming the cramps start no earlier than about 2-3 days before it starts so I am hoping the cramps for this long is a good sign.
They just make me so nervous because like I said, last time I had cramps all throughout the week or so before my BFP and they continues until the CP. But I have to remember that you can miscarry by bleeding out of the blue without any cramps, and sometimes it happens with no bleeding or cramping or anything, so I need to try to relax. Whatever will happen will happen...if I am pregnant then I need to enjoy it and if I am not I need to see the victory in just ovulating and hope that it continues (a little earlier would be nice though) each month until I do get pregnant.
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