I didn't have it last time, so of course my body couldn't let me get away without it twice in a row. Well so far today I feel ok, but last night I threw up. A lot. I have broken blood vessels all over my face, which I hope are mostly gone or will at least cover up with make-up tomorrow so people don't ask why I look like hell. I also hope if the ms continues, that it happens at night again. It will be hard to keep my little secret at work if people hear me ralphing in the bathroom.
I was also so hoarse this morning I could barely talk and the puking really hurt my throat last night. So I don't know if it was just a random puke, or a glimpse of what is coming. I was soooo exhausted all day yesterday, I barely did anything except for go on a few food runs for my husband and his buddies but I could barely keep my eyes open. I napped for two hours, and went to bed at like 11:30. For a Saturday night, that is super early for me.
I had a ton of energy today though. I didn't nap at all and I got a lot done. I did three loads of laundry, did the final coat of paint on the front door, made a mini-trip to the grocery store, did a few random things outside and then just did a bunch of odds and ends around the house. I tried to make sure to rest in between and drink a lot of water. Last time this early, I over-did it one day and had spotting and got scolded by my doctor. I understand I have a history of loss, but really? Is it all so fragile in there that doing too much laundry could make something bad happen? But of course, I am not willing to risk it, thus the frequent breaks. And aside from just being on the go all day, I really didn't do anything super strenuous or exhausting.
My dad called last night and said my secret could be out amongst some family members. Brenda's daughter Rhonda has cerebral palsy and is basically a 7 year old in a 40 year old's body. She loves to gossip and pretend she told stuff on accident and then apologizes profusely when everyone knows she knew full well what she was doing, lol. So I guess she was talking to Melissa about my pregnancy (they're all up north this weekend for a cousin's wedding, my husband and I skipped out on it) and one of my younger cousins was nearby and may have overheard.
Though she doesn't have the greatest hearing and wears hearing aids. Poor kid is a sophomore in highschool...with how small they make them now, I probably wouldn't be too worked up over them, but I feel bad for her. Being in high school and having to wear hearing aids must be rough. Anyway, I guess they are broken again so it's possible she didn't hear them after all. But honestly I don't care.
My grandma gets her feathers riled up when she hears things second hand....the person with the news must tell her directly otherwise she'll be pissed. But if she does somehow find out, oh well. I have enough to worry about with this pregnancy, if people find out through the grapevine, or are mad or annoyed if they don't find out till closer to 30 weeks, tough shit. I'll tell when I am good and damn ready to tell, and if I chose to let people know via facebook, they'll just have to deal with it. And I am NOT making a special trip up north to tell my grandma in person, nor am I calling her. I love my grandma, but we're not close at all. It took me a good four days to work up the nerve to call her when we got engaged and tell her the news. Not because she wouldn't approve or anything, but talking to her is just awkward, we never have anything to talk about. This is how the conversation went:
Me: Hi Grandma it's Amy (thank God I call her grandma so she knew it was a grandkid calling, otherwise I would have had to say who I am i.e. it's Amy your grandaughter, because I never ever call there).
Her: Hello
Me: How are you?
Her: I'm not too bad
Me: So I was just calling with some good news, Ryan and I are engaged!
Her: Oh?
Me: Yeah, it's in October, so hopefully you can make it (she didn't come...which was fine, she's old and it's a long trip for her).
Awkward silence....
Me: So how's the weather up there? (Yes, I actually asked her how's the weather)
Her: It's been a little warm.
Me: Ok well I better let you go, I'll hopfully see you soon.
Not everyone needs to give in to her need to not hear second hand information, not all the time anyway. And thinking of that conversation just made me miss my other grandma so much. She and I would talk for a good hour at least, usually once a week but sometimes more, sometimes a little less if I got busy. We'd talk about boys, and my friends, and work and just anything and everything. Ever since I was a little kid I loved talking to her. My mom talked to her on the phone every single day so usually about a half an hour into their conversation I would just stand there and say "I want to talk to grandma, I want to talk to grandma, please can I talk to grandma, I want to talk to grandma now." I miss her :(
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