Over

The dreaded weekend is over.  And a dreaded weekend it was.  Yesterday being my would-be shower, today being Father's Day and tomorrow is the one year anniversary of my grandma's death.  I miss her so much.  She was one of my best friends.  I was really missing Kayla this week and I so wanted to call my grandma and talk to her about it.  She was one of the first people I called when I was having a bad day, or when I had good news to share.  When she would call me and I saw her name on the caller ID, a big smile would spread across my face.  She was an amazing, amazing woman and the world just isn't the same without her. 

This morning he got in the shower first, and I asked if he wanted to stop at the cemtery on the way home from his sister's.  He said actually while I am in the shower, he was going to run up there by himself.  I was very happy with this.  A few months ago I went by myself for the first time, I sat down for a bit and talked to Kayla.  It was very therapuetic so I was happy to hear he was going alone.  It would also be his first time seeing the gravestone in person since he didn't go with me yesterday.  Oh to be a fly on the wall during that visit.  I'm dying to know what he said to her, but of course it's none of my business.  But I am glad he went.

Then we went to his sister's for lunch.  My BIL's parents were there too and my MIL and FIL of course.  I had a great talk with my SIL after lunch.

She gave me some advice, but the best part of talking to her was just how comfortable I felt.  That's not to say I am usually uncomfortable around her, but in the six years Ryan and I have been together, Jenny and I have not spent a ton of time together.  I like her a lot...well I love her, she's my sister, not just by law but in my heart....and I am sure she loves me.  But she was married and Owen was a year and a half when I came into the family.  Plus they live about 40 minutes away.  I am sure if she didn't have kids yet, or was single when we met, we could have hung out more, but we were in two different worlds.  And, while she and Ryan get along perfectly fine when they are together, they are not too prone to just calling each other and hanging out like my brother and I are.

So we're not BFFs but it's only because we don't spend a lot of time together.  But I do feel like we've gotten closer since Kayla was born....even since I got pregnant.  Maybe it's because I was about to join her in mommy world.  And I am sure once we have our rainbow, we'll be able to spend more time together.

This coming Saturday is family picture day with his family.  I am excited.  I promised Ryan he and I wouldn't have to get formal pictures together until we have more kids, but since we'll be there, he and I will have one taken.  I know I bitch a lot in here, but I have to say I married into the best family there is.  I love love love my husband's family and I am so lucky to have such wonderful inlaws.

So tomorrow is CD 12 so I'll start OPKs tomorrow.  Well truthfully I got impatient and did one yesterday and one today, but I'll start 2X a day tomorrow.  I've only got my last cycle as a reference, but based on that I seem to have a fade in/fade out pattern, so hopefully I'll see my surge coming.  My other two cycles with positive OPKs showed me I definitely have a fade out pattern, so with last month's fade in I would say the evidence is strong.  Fingers crossed for O again this month!

And now for some adorable-ness.  My TTC/pregnancy buddy showed me this.  Without a doubt, this will be our rainbow's going home outfit.  The angle is a little hard to read, it says "After every storm there is a rainbow of hope....Here I am".  So perfect.