It is not fair -14 wks 4 days

I was out running errands today and decided a stop at Kayla's grave was long overdue.  Somedays I can go and just clean up her grave and it just is what it is.  But today I was feeling very emotional.  It had been several weeks since we'd been there and it's been raining.  Her teddy bear was on its side and was soaking wet and fiIlthy and I just lost it.  I know it's going to get dirty outside.  But it's just not fair, her teddy bear shouldn't be outside and dirty, it should be clean and dry and in a crib with her.  I cried a lot, but then went on to finish my errands, but as soon as I got home burst into tears and fell into my husband's arms, crying about the teddy bear.  I just want our baby girl here with us.