Monday, September 9, 2013

Twas the night before the NT scan- 12 wks 5 days

and I am calm!!  My doppler was the best purchase I've ever made.  Since I found the HB for the first time, I've found it everytime I try, but it is still early and can take a while.  But I found it tonight pretty quickly and it stayed in one spot for a while, my husband was able to run in and listen for a few.  What a difference, last time I was so nervous the night before but this time I am mostly just excited to see Boo.

Of course we pray everything is ok and that the chances of a chromosomal issue are super low, but I feel pretty good about it.  Worrying won't change the outcome and thinking positively won't jinx it.  Plus, I've just got so many other issues to worry about, it's like I can't take on that one as well.

I ordered a few things for Kayla tonight.  I've been meaning to for a while....the one is a pink heart shaped christmas tree ornaments, it's got a 3D butterfly on it with her name and I put "Our beautiful butterfly".  That was kind of an impulse buy, I was googling and came across it.  The other thing I've had my eye on for months.  It's a sculpure of hands forming a heart with a tea light candle behind it and it comes with a butterfly to put on it.  I think it will be nice to light it on October 15th for national stillbirth and pregnancy loss awareness day.

I thought it was nice, that after I finished my purchase for the ornament, the order confirmation page said thank you for your purchase though we're sorry you had a reason to shop our gifts.  Aww, how nice.  One thing is for sure, we have so many mementos for Kayla, she will always live on in this house.

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