In exactly 1 hour and 8 minutes, it will have been six months since my baby girl was born. I miss her. I want to hold her in my arms again and it makes me so angry that I'll never get to. I never got to change her diaper, or nurse her, rock her, or see her smile. I never got to hear her cry. I know I don't know how I would feel if I were in that situation....maybe it would have been worse I don't know. But of the people that I know that had their babies even for a little while....if just for a few hours or a few days, I find myself jealous of them.
Like I said, I know that's probably stupid. They were probably given hope when their babies were born alive, only to be crushed again in a million pieces when their precious angels went to Heaven. But right now, I would give anything to have seen my baby move, to hear her cry, to feel life as I held her, and maybe even the slight curl of her hand around my finger.
Mommy misses you so much Kayla, and I will love you forever.
***Capture your Grief***
I'm excited to do this. Starting on October 1st and through the 31st, the project capture your grief gives a different subject each day for you to photograph, telling your story about your grief. The link for this year's project is here:
http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/
However I think I am going to do last year's subjects instead. Since I am new to this and they seem much more straight forward, the subjects seem like they would be easier to express through photographs. If anyone is interested, last year's subjects are here:
http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/projects/capture-your-grief-photograph-challenge
So be looking for my pictures starting next Tuesday!
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