It amazes me sometimes how I just don't think of things....or seem to overlook things sometimes. But I realized last night that if I were to end up on BR, my husband will be home with me for the majority of the time. Worst case scenario, I go on BR around 18-20 weeks which would be the end of October. Ryan is usually laid off by the first or second week of December, so at the most I would only spend about a month or a little more home by myself. Though I am sure that time would go very slowly, but one month by myself has got to be better than 4.5.
Now I know Ryan and I will likely get sick of each other if we're home together that long, but we do have a very "bedrest friendly" bedroom (our tempur pedic moves up and down at both the head and feet and our TV is on the wall at the perfect viewing level) so we don't always have to be in the same room. And maybe he'd actually come to enjoy his newfound grocery shopping and target responsibilities to get out of the house and away from me, lol.
Everyone seems to think I am worrying about bedrest but I'm really not. Of course I would love it if my cervix stays perfectly long and closed like it's supposed to and don't need any bedrest, but I've come to accept that if I do need it, we'll be ok, we'll get through it and I'll do whatever is best for Boo.
Before my friend with the same situation went on BR, the thought never crossed my mind. I assumed that with the cerclage, everything would go as it should because I would have the obstetrical equivalent of Superman's powers to keep me safe. Yeah I know cerclages are only 85-90% successful, but I guess I was being overly optimistic when BR hadn't crossed my mind.
But I am glad it did because I cannot imagine going to my 18 week-ish appointment and being told that my cervix is shortening, I need to go on bedrest and I will be on it for the duration of my pregnancy, my life is suddenly turning upside down and I'll likely lose my job because they will not hold my position for 20+ weeks.
Now don't get me wrong, Ryan shouldn't worry too much because everything he will have to do, he is perfectly capable of doing. He can go to the grocery store every two weeks and get the items I put on a list; the same with Target. He can cook dinner every night; I am not a gourmet chef and I don't expect him to be either. He can trim fat off of chicken and throw it in the oven with some BBQ sauce and pour a can of corn in a pot and heat it up, or dump noodles in boiling water and put some sauce on them. He can load and unload the dishwasher, none of this stuff will kill him.
But...it will be an adjustment. He will go from doing the chores he is used to doing, to having a lot to do in one day, every day. He will be required to do things he's never done before and as much as he'll known deep down I don't like laying around doing nothing, he will likely throw some fits now and again about how it's not fair and he hates doing all this stuff. On top of it all, he'll be scared for me and the baby. And to be honest, I will miss doing the things I do. Yes I hate grocery shopping, but it's better than worrying if he will come back with a $400 load of stuff we don't need, or if my diabetic meals are being prepared the way I would prepare them. I am sure after just a few days or a week of BR I'll be dying to go just about anywhere.
Even though losing my job could be a blessing in disguise and we will be ok financially, it's still scary to think of losing the job I've had for 8 years, and starting all over with a new company and new people. I would rather plan for BR now and be pleasently surprised if I don't need it, then naively think I won't need it at all and in one swift minute be completely overwhelmed and turned upside down with this major life change. So people can think I am unnecessarily worrying all they want, but I know what I need to do to prepare myself and I know I am being smart.
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