Sunday, August 25, 2013

Makeover- 10 wks 3 days

Hey all, yes you're in the right place.  I decided my blog needed a make over.  I've played around with the design a little for the past few weeks but I am very happy with this new one.  I felt like my old design and title was too la la la, happy go-lucky.  And the past year or so, my blog has been anything but happy go-lucky.  I felt like it was too hopeful and naive....not that we're not hopeful, but our hearts are very guarded.  I think my new title perfectly describes how we're feeling right now.  It's been five months on Saturday since we lost Kayla.  The initial, gut-wrenching grief has passed (though it still comes up at the most unexpected times) and Kayla not being in our lives has become the new normal.  The high winds, beating rains, thunder and lightening have subsided for now, and we're just hoping and praying there is nothing on the horizon, but a beautiful rainbow.

So we went to the Renaissance Festival yesterday; for those that don't have one around them or have never been, it's a little village basically set back in the Renaissance days.  It's only open on the weekends for part of August and September.  Think Kings and queens, jousting, wenches....there's lots of different food like my husband'a beloved Scotch Eggs (a hard boiled egg fried in a shell of sausage, ie vomit inducing food to me), lots of beer, giant turkey leggs to knaw on and thankfully soft pretzels and the like for me. 

I did try my first ever deep fried twinkie....um, no thanks.  I can now say I've tried one and I will never have one again.  Totally not worth the calories.  So many people really get into the festival and dress up as their favorite Renaissance era character.  However some people just use it as an excuse to dress weird, which makes for great people watching.  Lots of princesses and fairies, some cat-people that I cannot remember the name of, and some people I don't know what the heck they were supposed to be.  There was even a Shrek, he was my favorite. 

So we walked around a little, we ate some, Ryan drank beer and I smelled it and dreamed.  I am NOT a big drinker anymore at all, but whenever I am pregnant beer smells so good to me.  I am not sure if it just becomes a weird craving, or if it all has to do with the fact that I can't have it, so I want it.  I did take two tiny sips of his and they were yummy.  I even liked his one IPA.  So strange, I normally hate IPAs, so I don't know if it was just a really good one, or if it's again a weird pregnancy thing.  We sat and watched a joust which was entertaining.  We were sitting in the blazing sun for about an hour and dummy me forgot sunscreen again.  But amazingly I did not burn, I did however add to my already awesome farmers' tan.

I was shocked at how many other pregnant women I saw; we must have seen at least 10.  Too bad I still just look fat instead of pregnant.  I'm not in a huge rush to start showing for the sake of showing, but I am anxious for my tummy to start rounding out and looking like a pregnant belly instead of an "I ate too many ho ho's" tummy.  I couldn't believe how tired I was when we got home though, thankfully I wore my running shoes and my maternity jeans.  So comfy.

Speaking of running, I decided I am going to sign up for a 5K for next September that will serve as my motivation to lose weight after Boo is born.  I doubt I will have much to lose from this pregnancy.  When Kayla was born at 22 weeks I had only gained 4 pounds and that all came off  with her so it was likely all her, fluid and placenta.  So far I've lost 5 pounds since I got my positive and I hope to lose a little more when I get serious about the GD diet. 

But I definitely went into both pregnancies at a much higher weight than I ever intended to.  A few years ago I got very serious about losing weight, I ate better and I worked out and lost 50 pounds.  I felt amazing, I looked amazing.  I still had some weight to lose, but if I could get back down to that weight after Boo I would be so happy.  I don't know if another baby will be in the works after Boo, but if we do decide to have another, I would love to go though it at a healthier weight.  I know GD isn't all about weight, I could lose a ton of weight and still get diabetes when pregnant just because of the way the hormones intereact with my ability to produce insulin.  But it sure would be nice to lower the risk.  Some of it is vanity though....I would love to go from no belly, to baby belly, instead of my already belly just forming into a baby belly.

Losing weight and sticking to a regimen is HARD, and I am sure will be even harder with a baby.  But I'm sick of feeling crappy and looking crappy.  I miss being thinner and of course I have a very big reason to get healthier.  So I'm really excited to have the 5K as a goal to get in shape for.  I think six months is a good goal, and since Boo is due toward the end of March, it won't be long till the weather gets nice and we can head out for walks in the stroller.  I eventually starting riding my bike, but when I first started losing weight a few years ago, walking 4-5 times a week for 30-60 minutes was ALL I did and the weight just fell off.  In fact, we were just talking yesterday about getting a jogging stroller.  We had a regular one picked out the last time we registered, but I think we'll be happier with a jogging one.  We can, well, jog with it, especially since Ryan has gotten into running 5Ks this last year.  And we saw a lot of people struggling with their small tire strollers at the festival.  The ground was really uneven and rocky in some spots, so it would be nice to have a stroller that can handle all types of terrain. 

Well, as much as I wish I could delay the inevitable, staying up late is not going to keep Monday morning from coming, so I guess I am off to bed.  I have to get up earlier as it is and swing by the hospital to drop off my pee jug, yay.


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