Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Capture your grief-Day 6, Books

So many of us turn to reading in the wake of the death of our children.  We take solace in other peoples' words, stories, journeys, and wisdom.  Have you read any books that have helped in this journey of healing after loss?  They don't have to specifically be about the death of a child, just anything that helped you.  Share about how they helped you and what you loved about them.  You can share about books that helped grieving children too.  Please feel welcome to share links.

I only read one book after my loss, but it wasn't helpful because it was so heavily about religion and loss.  I am religious, or maybe more spiritual.  I believe in God and I have a personal relationship with Him, but the content about the book was much more about trusting Him and letting Him lead you through this and being His plan and if you just have faith you'll get through it.

No offense to anyone who believes it, but I don't.  I don't believe God made this happen, and I don't believe He is testing me.  I have faith that God exists, I have faith that He weeped with us the day Kayla was born, but having faith in Him doesn't get me through it, because I don't believe He was behind it.  I don't believe He controls the puppet strings, so therefore He cannot necessarily help me through it if that makes sense.  I don't even remember the title of that book.

What helped me most was reading what others had to say on loss message boards.  Hearing that others felt the exact same way I did helped me to feel less alone.  Knowing that someone else was sad when they stopped bleeding postpartum made me feel like I wasn't crazy, because being sad when the bleeding stopped seemed pretty crazy to me.  It was a comfort that I wasn't alone in the guilt I felt, and that others felt it too, despite it not being our fault.

Two other books that I found to be amazing were written for kids, to help them understand about their sibling in Heaven.  I came across them on Amazon one day and ordered them both immediately.  I've already read them both to Emily a few times and of course she doesn't understand yet, but I think they will be really helpful in helping her to understand when she is older, and starting the dialogue so she can ask questions about her sister.  The books are called Someone came before you, and My baby big sister.

http://www.amazon.com/Someone-Came-Before-You-Schwiebert/dp/0972424156/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1444186087&sr=8-1&keywords=someone+came+before+you

http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Big-Sister-Subsequent-Pregnancy/dp/1451579764/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1444186060&sr=8-1&keywords=my+baby+big+sister




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