Capture your heart-Day 15, Wave of light

As a wave of light makes its way around the world today, we take some time out to honor and remember our children.  It is a day of sacred remembrance and awareness.  What does this community mean to you?  Where would you be without it?  What would you like to see happen in the future with this community.  Share your candles and light of hope.

The baby loss community is like a home to me.  There are millions of members I will never meet, and of the ones I do know, do not talk to on a regular basis.  But I feel safe.  I don't have to worry that anyone is judging me, or pitying me, or thinking I am making too big of a deal out of it.  When I come across another loss parent, it's like we can just look at each other and say oh, she/he gets it.

A couple months ago I stopped at my daughter's grave, and there was a utility truck right across the cemetery road doing some kind of job.  As I sat there silently with my daughter, I wondered what this man was thinking while he worked.  Did he know this was the baby section?  He must have since there is an angel child statue in the middle of the mausoleums, and the niches are all small.  Was he looking at me weird?  Was he feeling sorry for me?  Did he not care and just wanted to get his job done?

He finished up while I was still sitting there, he got back into his truck and turned around, but then stopped again and got out, and went over to one of the mausoleums and stood there for a moment in front of one of the niches.  Ooooh, I thought to myself.  He's one of us.  I'd never met this man, will probably never see him again, but as soon as I saw him walk over to one of the baby graves, I instantly felt like we had this bond.

In the future I would like to see a more blurred line between us and them.  I think it is getting better, but there is still a stark contrast between loss parents, and parents/people who have never been affected by it.  Even if a parent has never been through it, I think more and more people know someone who has, and has been vocal about it, so in a secondary way they are affected and more empathetic.  This year I've seen people share things on facebook about awareness month and October 15th who I now suspect may have had a loss, but have never opened up about it, and I've seen people sharing who I am almost certain have never had a loss, but are obviously helping to spread awareness, which I think is awesome.

Here is my rainbow, lighting (it's a battery candle) a candle for her big sister in Heaven.  I love you Kayla, we think of you every day, and we honor you today along with all of the babies gone too soon.