Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Capture your Grief day 2- 15 wks 6 days

Day 2. Before Loss Self Portrait Share a photo of you before your loss. You could share a drawing/sketch or painting you have done if you would prefer that!

This was taken I believe around 18 weeks with Kayla.  Most of my weekly pictures were not share-worthy because I looked a mess after work and my hair was just in a messy bun.  But this day I had just gotten my hair cut, and my husband and I were going out for Sushi that night for a belated Valentine's day celebration.  We were just days away from our anatomy scan in which we would find out we were having a little girl.  I was very very happy.
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Whiiine, my gums hurt!  It would be ok if it were like the pregnancy gingivitus last time where eating chewy things hurt my tender gums.  But this time, they're not just tender to pressure....actually they're not tender to preassure at all, but the mere presence of any food irritates them.  But the worst is my tounge.  My tounge is so sore; I normally always brush my tounge after my teeth but I just can't do it right now, it feels like I'm using the coarsest sand paper there is. 

A little background on my tounge ('cause you always wanted to know right)....I have a geographical tounge.  You can google it, but beware, some of the pics looks like the person's tounge is rotting in their mouth.  Mine does NOT look like that.  Mine just has what looks like a few cuts on it.  I never thought my tounge looked weird until my husband mentioned it, and he stuck his tounge out at me, which to my surprise had no cuts whatsoever.  Whoa, normal tounges really don't look like mine?

So the next time I was at the dentist I asked my hygenist if my tounge looked weird to her.  She paused and said, well, you have a geographical tounge, it's perfectly normal but you're more susceptical to certain foods bothering it.  She was right, even when not pregnant, certain foods bother me, but not always.  Sometimes I can gobble down a Fattoush salad like a pro, other times about halfway through the dressing starts to burn....sometimes even a candy bar is too hard on my tounge, I guess the sugar.  She said she does not clean my dad or brother's teeth, so she can't say if they have it and she couldn't remember if my mom had it, but it is genetic.

So the next time I saw my dad I told him to stick out his tounge.  He looked like I was nuts and I told him why.  He didn't want to do it, so I was like does your tounge have little cracks and what looks like cuts and he said yes they all do.  Ha, he is the culprit!  I highly doubt BOTH of my parents had it.  The next time I saw my brother, I made him stick out his tounge and he got the cursed tounge as well.

So yeah, some foods often hurt my tounge, but this is like pain X 10,000.  I see my dentist soon, so I'll have to ask if it's a pregnancy thing.  I seem to remember my tender gums feeling much better by about 18-19 weeks last time, so I am hoping this goes away soon.  I already have a strict diet for GD, I can't limit it even more with soft, bland foods.

On another whiney note, I am sick.  My husband shared his cold with me, how nice of him.  But he feels really really bad, and even went to Target and bought me a whole mess of pregnancy approved medicine.  I wuv him!  It started on Saturday, I was a little sneezy, but we had gone to the Humane Society to look at dogs, and ended up playing with cats while we were there too.  So I assumed they bothered my allergies.  Luckily we didn't find anything we liked (though there were about a dozen kittens I would have snapped up in a heartbeat if Ryan would let me be a crazy cat lady).  We had decided against a dog right now, because with the high risk pregnancy, possible future bed rest, and just a new baby in generl, we don't need the extra stress of a new puppy.

But when your husband excitedly says, let's go look at puppies today!....well how do you say no to that?  So there is a chance we could end up with a dog, if we end up going often enough and actually find one we want.  It won't be the smartest thing we've ever done, but whatevs, puppies are cute!  By Sunday night I was starting to think it wasn't allergies, that he had given me his cold and by Monday I was absolutely miserable.  I've had to force myself to go to work all week....yesterday I was so close to leaving at noon but I talked myself into staying.  I've got 10 vacation hours, and I need to save them for Vegas at the end of the month. 

So I've decided that Boo is going to be a laid back baby.  I hope so anyway....I have no idea if Kayla would have been wild, but I always had to search for her with the doppler, she could be anywhere, and on ultrasounds she was quite wiggly.  But Boo, everytime I use my doppler, I find him square in the middle, every time.  On u/s, he moves around a bit, but the one time she was standing on her head, and the next time she was laying on her face.  I think he finds a position that is comortable and just sets up camp.  My mom said I didn't move a whole lot, and I ended up being a very laid back baby who loved my sleep, so I'm hoping for the same for Boo.

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