Caputre your Grief Day 20- 18 wks 4 days

Day 20. Charity/Organization Share your favourite charity or organization that has touched your heart on this road of grief. If you don’t have a photograph to share, just simply post the link to their website!

I'm a day behind, we were busy all day yesterday and I didn't get a chance to write.  My favorite charity so far is http://www.thetearsfoundation.org/, they are a non-profit organization that raises money to help family pay for the funerals and burials of their little ones.  I think this is such a great charity because losing your baby or child is one of the worst things that can happen to you.  Most parents are young, do not have a lot of savings and of course did not have life insurance for their child.  Thinking about how to bury your child is something no parent ever wants to have to think about, so when it becomes a reality, it's all so overwhelming, not to mention the panic of how to come up with the money.

Every parent who has lost a child deserves a place to go and mourn their child.  I think burying a child is unlike any other death because as a parent you always feel this need to take care of your child.  Having Kayla in an unmarked, generic grave made me so sad.  As did the idea of her being at a cemetery far away from us.  She is my baby girl, I need her close to me.  So being able to go visit her grave whenever I want, just 5 minutes away means the world.  We were lucky enough to have family that was able to help us out, but not everyone is that lucky, and I am so glad the TEARS foundation is there to help out those hurting parents.
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I am so antsy this morning.  Like most Mondays, I hate being at work.  Everyone is annoying me...this one is coughing a lot, this one is sniffling.  The lady that covers my job when I am not here is so unbelievably annoying.  Most of my appointments are on Tuesdays, and our calendars give a pop up 16 hours ahead of time when someone has scheduled time off.  So for the past two Mondays before an appt, she's always so shocked to see me here on time, when the "calendar said I would be late".  That's tomorrow, look at the calendar, get a clue.  Ugh, I'm so irritiable.

I think I am extra cranky because I just want it to be tomorrow, to be at my anatomy scan and see Boo, to make sure everything is ok and to make sure my cervix still isn't shortening.  It's like these last 24 hours before hand is excrutiating, and if the time can't move any faster, than I just want to be home, away from all of these annoyances.

On a very sad note, my month board has had their first later term loss.  I'm so sad for them, when I saw the title of her goodbye thread, my heart sank.  Going through the pain is horrible, but once you've been through it, it comes back a little bit to know others are suffering that same pain.  It makes me wish I could take their pain, since I am already experiencing it.  I am heading up the sunshine mission for her and her family.  For those of you who are not bumpies, a sunshine mission is when a bunch of ladies from the month board all get together and send a care package with sympathy cards, messages and sometimes gift cards and other treats to the bereaved parents.

Nothing can take away the pain of losing your baby, but getting that package in the mail, and seeing how many people, most of whom are total strangers, care and send well wishes....it's just an amazing thing.  The wonderful ladies on July '13 sent us one when we lost Kayla, and I am happy to be able to pay it forward to a new loss mom, and hope we can brighten her day just a little bit.